Forever My Girl
by AndreeaRaducan
Summary: AU. Their life was uprooted when they lost their third child. Now, almost seventeen years after their sweet miracle Haven was born, it's about to be uprooted again. Rated T for mature themes. **Winner of Best OC-Driven in the 2015 Profiler's Choice Awards**
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I had a new idea for the Haven series. This will be a multiple chapter story. I will still continue to do oneshots for the series that will fit in the timeline between Forever In My Heart and this story, but I'm thinking of moving them all under the title 'Forever My Safe Haven' otherwise they'll be all over the place.**

**Thanks to HotchnerJareau for helping me flesh this idea out! Everyone should go and check out her stories, especially Time Will Tell! Super cute and super good story!**

**Also, I've been nominated in the 2014 Profiler's Choice Awards. It would mean the world to me if you went and cast a vote for me, especially for my story 'Stars Can't Shine Without Darkness'. If you haven't read that story, it's based on the true story of my friend Chloe, a brain cancer survivor.**

**Please consider having a look at the PCA's. All the rules and the ballot are on the forum!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

This was not supposed to happen.

At least, not like this.

Staring at the white stick in her hand, Haven LaMontagne was already working hard to fight back her tears.

Of all the things that she wanted to happen in her junior year, getting pregnant was not one of them.

Wrapping the positive test up securely in toilet paper, she buried it at the bottom of the wastebasket, choking back a sob as she did so. Her parents were going to kill her.

Flushing the toilet, she moved over to the counter, leaning heavily against the sink as she fought to regain control of her emotions.

Pregnancy tests weren't entirely accurate. It could be an incorrect reading.

But deep down, she knew it wasn't. She'd slept with Connor Hamilton just over two months earlier, and she hadn't had a period since then.

"Haven?" came her mother's voice at the door. "Can you hurry up sweetie? Your dad's using our bathroom"

"Yeah," Haven called back, hastily wiping her eyes. "Just a sec"

Quickly splashing her face, she dried her hands on the nearest hand towel, dabbing away the remaining moisture on her face. She dumped the now damp towel beside the sink, turning and pulling the door open.

"You ok?" JJ asked gently, looking at her daughter with concern.

"Fine," Haven said quickly, slipping past her mom and heading straight for her room.

Watching her daughter's retreating back, JJ frowned.

That 'fine' had been uncomfortably familiar.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm back with more! I'm really excited about this story!**

**Again, I've been nominated for the PCA's. See the A/N in Chapter 1 for an explanation.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

Haven had barely been able to focus as the day wore on gradually. All her thoughts were consumed by the tiny little life growing inside her.

She knew she had to tell her parents, or at least, her mom. But the thought of doing so brought her to the verge of tears every time it crossed her mind. She knew they would both be mad. Her dad was going to absolutely flip. Her mom would probably be calmer, but Haven knew she would still be very disappointed. And that was what she hated the most. She hated disappointing her parents.

Sitting on a brick wall outside the school as she waited for her brother to pick her up, Haven found herself feeling incredibly nauseous. Was that morning sickness? Or the prospect of imminent death? Either way, she seriously didn't feel well.

A beep of a horn tore her back to reality. Looking up, she saw her brother waiting in his car, gesturing for her to hurry up.

Sliding off the wall, she walked over to Henry's car, wrenching open the passenger door and getting in.

"Hello to you too," Henry said sarcastically as he pulled away from the school. When Haven didn't reply, he looked at her with concern.

"Haven? What's got your tongue in a twist?" he asked, slowing at an intersection as a car passed through ahead of them.

Haven opened her mouth to say 'nothing', when she was suddenly struck by an idea. She needed to talk to somebody...who better to speak with than her brother? She trusted Henry with her life, and she knew he would help her work out how best to break it to their parents.

"Can we go somewhere that isn't home?" she finally asked.

Henry frowned. "Yeah, I guess," he said, pulling off the road he was on and heading in a new direction. "Why?"

"I wanna talk to you about something," Haven told him. "Just drive somewhere quiet"

Henry obliged, choosing not to say another word until he had pulled into a secluded parking lot next to a park some twenty minutes from their home.

Putting the car into park, Henry turned to face his sister. "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

Haven swallowed thickly, avoiding her big brother's eyes as she tried to find the words she needed to explain the situation she was in.

"I...I'm," she choked, taking a deep breath to help pull herself together. "I'm pregnant"

Henry's eyes widened. "Haven...you're sixteen! Like...you shouldn't even be having sex-"

"I'm sixteen, Henry, I'm old enough to be responsible about stuff like that," Haven said angrily, whipping her head up dramatically to look at her brother.

"Obviously not responsible enough-"

"It was an accident," Haven said, bursting into tears. "We used a condom...it must have broken"

"Haven...you realise Dad is going to _kill_ you?" Henry said softly.

Haven nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks onto the front of her shirt. "I'm terrified of telling them...I didn't know what to do, so I wanted to tell you first"

Reaching out, Henry took Haven's hand. "You know what, I'm glad you told me first. I'm going to help you figure out how to break this to Mom and Dad...and if things go bad when you tell them, I'll get you out, ok?"

Haven nodded again, sniffling as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

"I think you should tell them when we get home," Henry said gently.

Haven looked up, her face paling dramatically. "Henry-"

"The sooner you do it, the better. The longer you wait to do it, the more stressed out you're going to get, and that's not healthy for you...or for your baby," Henry reasoned. "I'll be right there, and like I said, if things go bad, I will get you out, ok?"

Haven swallowed thickly, her hands starting to shake. "I'm scared...I'm scared Dad will force me to get an abortion. I don't want that Henry...I can't do that"

"That's ok," Henry said gently, squeezing Haven's hand. "I don't know what Dad is going to do, but I know Mom won't let him force you to do anything. After she lost two babies, she would never make you do anything like an abortion"

After a few moments had passed in total silence, Haven turned to her brother.

"Let's do this"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Revelations! Stay tuned!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

Closing the front door, Haven hesitantly dropped her bag beside the hall table as Henry hung up his jacket and placed his keys in the dish.

"What took you so long?" came their mother's voice as she approached them. Moments later, she appeared before them in the hallway, her eyes filled with concern.

"I took a wrong turn. Haven tried to direct me home, and she's not very good with directions," Henry replied so smoothly that Haven almost believed it.

JJ smirked. "Henry, you would forget your head if it wasn't screwed on"

Henry grinned, nodding in agreement as JJ turned her attention to her daughter.

"How was your day?" she asked gently. Haven shrugged.

"Ok, I guess," she replied, shuffling her feet awkwardly.

JJ frowned, watching her daughter anxiously. "Haven-"

"Uh, can...can I talk to you and Dad about something?" Haven cut in, finally meeting her mother's eyes. "Like, right now?"

JJ hesitated for a moment, before nodding, her expression softening. "Of course, is something wrong?"

Haven swallowed thickly, avoiding her mother's questions as she walked into the lounge room with Henry right behind her. Choosing not push it further, JJ went to get Will from the dining room. Just a minute later, they were eventually joining them in the lounge room, wondering what on earth was going on.

"I think you should sit," Henry suggested softly.

"Do you know what this is about?" JJ questioned. Henry nodded, taking a step closer to his sister. He let a supporting hand linger at the small of Haven's back. Even from there, he could feel her shaking.

Haven took a deep breath as her parents sat on the couch before her. Her dad was watching curiously and she quickly found she couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze. She could barely lock eyes with her mother either.

"I...you're probably going to be...pretty upset with me," she choked out, managing to level her gaze in a medium space near her parents' eyes. "I...ugh," she groaned, struggling to find the words.

"Just say it, Haven. Over and done with. Quick and easy," Henry offered up gently, squeezing his sister's hand.

Looking up at her parents, Haven sucked in the deepest breath she thought she had ever taken.

"I'm pregnant"

She saw her mother's jaw drop slightly as she stared at her daughter incredulously. The room fell into a tense silence. Haven's hands began to shake rather violently as she waited desperately for someone to speak.

"You're _what_?" came her father's voice after what felt like an eternity of uncomfortable silence. He looked at JJ with a look Haven had never seen before. She wasn't sure what to think.

"Pregnant," she repeated softly.

"How...wait...what?" JJ stammered, unable to process what her child had just said to her.

"Haven," Will started softly. His voice was calm, but Haven could see his carotid pulsating, his fists fighting the urge to clench. "You are _sixteen_. You shouldn't even be having sex. You shouldn't even be dating...and now you're...you're telling us you're _PREGNANT_?!"

Haven winced as her dad's voice rose sharply.

"You always harp on about how you're so responsible, and we don't trust you, and now you've gone back on your own word!" Will added, rising from his seat despite JJ's efforts to tug him back down.

"Will-" JJ began, looking up at her husband.

"It was an accident-" Haven began, her cheeks reddening.

"I bet it was! I can't BELIEVE you, Haven LaMontagne, you are so incredibly irresponsible!" Will yelled, his voice rising even more. He was practically bellowing now. Even JJ, his wife, was scared. And that never came easy.

"You _will_ have an abortion, you understand me?"

"WILLIAM!" JJ yelled, shooting up from the sofa, "Haven, you don't have to have an abortion, it's not your father's choice to make!"

"I won't do that Dad," she said, her voice remaining calm. This was it. This was her chance to not totally lose it, and prove to her parents that she could raise a child. "There's no way in hell I'm going to do that!"

Will moved quickly towards his daughter, his hand rising. Henry was quick to step between them, shielding his sister with his body.

"Haven, I think we need to leave," he said out of the corner of his mouth. He could feel Haven shaking beneath him, and whether it was fear or tears, he wasn't sure, but it was scaring him.

"You need to calm down," the older boy stated to the whole room, wrapping his arm around his younger sister. The look he gave his father was unlike no other. "I'm taking Haven elsewhere. We'll be back before curfew. She's told you what she needs to say, and you guys need to let that process"

"You won't be leaving this house!" Will exclaimed angrily.

"Will, let them go," JJ replied, her voice much calmer as she grabbed her husband's arm. "Henry will make sure they're back before nine, right Henry?" she said, looking pointedly at her son.

Henry nodded, swallowing thickly. His mom was much calmer than their dad, but he could hear the lingering anger and disappointment in her voice.

Without another word, he steered his sister out of the house.

* * *

Slamming the door behind her, JJ turned to face her husband, who was now sitting on the edge of their bed, his head in his hands.

"What was that?" she spat angrily.

Will lifted his head, staring at his wife incredulously. "What? You wanted me to congratulate her? Ask her when she's due? JJ-"

"I'm not saying you don't have the right to be mad, Will, but telling her she has to have an abortion?"

"I-" he began.

"Who says something like that?!" JJ cried, tears of frustration springing to her eyes. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

Will swallowed thickly. "I just thought-"

"You just thought that telling her what to do with her own body, telling her to kill the child is _ok_? After what we've been through? God Will, I get that you're upset, I am too...but you didn't even give her a chance to explain!"

"I don't need her to explain!" Will exclaimed, jumping up. "Our sixteen year old daughter is pregnant! She could be applying for university, making friends, puttin' together her life, but she went and got _pregnant_!"

Silence flooded the room as both adults stood within feet of each other. Anger was quite obviously fuming off of both of them. They were equally as hurt and angry and scared, yet they couldn't communicate that.

"We can't reverse it now," JJ said softly, leaning on the dresser. "It's happened...there's no going back"

"So I can't mourn the little girl I thought I had?" Will asked quietly.

JJ swallowed thickly, looking into his anger-filled eyes. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? She's not _dead_ for God's sake. She's still our little girl!"

"Our little girl that is having a child, JJ. Don't you see that she's grown up? She doesn't need us anymore. Look at her. If she can go out and get pregnant without us knowing, then what else can she do? Huh?"

"Will," JJ started. "She's still young. She's scared"

"Not scared of sex, not scared of our rules," Will muttered. "Not scared of the consequences."

JJ's eyes widened. "She's pregnant, Will, not superwoman. She's scared-"

"No, JJ, she's irresponsible, can't you see that? I don't even agree with her having sex, but shouldn't she have been smart enough to talk to you about going on the pill? I mean-"

"Will, I know you're angry, I am too. But when you strip away the irresponsible actions and everything else that came with them, what we have on our hands is our sixteen year old daughter who is scared and alone. What do you think it says about us that the first person she went to with this was Henry? That she's scared of us?"

"Irresponsible," Will said flatly. "She's irresponsible"

"We still have to be there for her"

"You can be there for her. I can't just accept this overnight"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: A short one, but necessary!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

The house was quiet as the two LaMontagne kids slipped back inside. Straight away, they noticed the kitchen light on, and knew that their mother was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for her son and daughter to return home.

"Go and see Mom," Henry nudged gently, placing a hand on the small of Haven's back. "She was a lot calmer than Dad, and she's not going to let you do all this on your own"

Haven nodded, still fighting back the urge to cry as her brother gave her a quick squeeze and moved off up the stairs.

Dropping her jacket on the armchair as she passed, she walked through to the dining room, where her mom was wiping down the table.

JJ looked up as Haven walked in, stopping in her tracks. She'd been lost in her thoughts, wondering what on earth had happened earlier that evening.

She was angry. There was no denying it. She had always been rather lenient on Henry and Haven where relationships and sex were concerned, and for that reason, she had been ok with them exploring sex and intimacy as long as they were safe and only took part in what they were prepared for. Getting pregnant at sixteen was certainly not something she condoned.

But her daughter looked positively terrified. From her white face to her red eyes, JJ could tell she was extremely overwhelmed.

"Haven?" she asked softly, setting down the cloth she was using to wipe the table.

At that, Haven simply burst into tears, all her pent up emotion from the afternoon flooding down her ghost white cheeks. She was so upset, the tears flowing down her cheeks with such vigour, that she was barely aware that her mom had approached her and wrapped her up in a tight hug.

"I di-didn't me-mean for thi-this to ha-happen," Haven sobbed hysterically into her mom's shoulder.

"I know," JJ said softly. "I'm still angry with you, I'm sure you can understand that. But what's done is done. We have to take it as it is and move on"

Clutching her crying daughter, JJ was fighting back tears of her own. She hated seeing her kids upset, but she was quite sure she'd never seen either of them this upset. The sound of Haven's hysterical cries was breaking her heart.

"Haven, honey, I need you to try and calm down, it's...it's not good for the baby," JJ said softly, pulling back. She was slightly unable to believe she had just said what she'd said.

Haven nodded, hiccupping as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

"Come with me," JJ said quietly, taking Haven's other hand and gently leading her back through to the sofa.

Sitting down, JJ pulled Haven down beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"I know you're scared, Haven...but you're not on your own. Yes, I'm angry, but the fact that you are still my daughter is more important to me. I'm here for you. Ok?"

Haven nodded, sniffling as she cuddled into her mom's side. "I don't want to talk right now," she mumbled softly.

"Ok," JJ breathed, running a gentle hand through Haven's long dark hair.

The house fell back into a gentle silence, broken only by the occasional sniff from Haven. JJ never moved, continuously running her fingers through Haven's hair.

When the sun rose the next morning, the first to rise would find the two girls cuddled up together on the sofa, fast asleep with the stains of tears remaining on their cheeks.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Here you go folks!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

Shifting in her half awake state, JJ squinted at the sunlight burning through her eyelids. Turning her head away from the window, she became aware of the weight on her left side.

"Mom?"

The mumble was barely audible, but JJ heard it. She and Haven had drifted off to sleep on the couch, and in her haste to get the sun out of her eyes, JJ had forgotten that her daughter was still asleep on top of her.

"I'm right here, Haven," JJ said softly, running a gentle circle on Haven's upper back. "Did I wake you?"

"Kind of," Haven said sleepily. "You still mad at me?"

JJ smiled a little. "Honey, it's not going to go away overnight. It's a lot to take in, and I'm sure I won't feel as angry given time. I still love you, ok?"

Haven nodded, pushing herself up to sit at the opposite end of the couch. Rubbing her eyes, she dropped her gaze down to her stomach, bringing one hand to rest over the area that would very soon show a noticeable bump.

"It's crazy to think there's a baby in there," she said softly, lifting her face to look at her mom.

JJ watched her daughter closely, feeling a sense of sadness wash over her. Haven was still so young and so innocent...now she was being forced to grow up all too quickly...all because of one mistake.

"Haven?" she said, grabbing Haven's attention again. "How about we go out and get some breakfast? And then we can talk"

Haven seemed to consider it for a moment before nodding.

"Ok," she agreed, rising from the sofa.

"Go have a shower and get changed. We'll leave once you're ready"

* * *

An hour later, they were walking down the sidewalk to a park near the Starbucks shop they had just left. JJ was clutching her venti drip like it was her life support, while Haven sipped at an orange mango smoothie as she walked beside her mom.

"Let's sit over here," JJ said softly, pointing to a shady spot beneath a large tree that overlooked most of the park. It was far enough away from both the main picnic area, the playground, and the sidewalk that they would have enough privacy to talk.

Once they were both seated on the grass, Haven found herself wondering what her mom wanted to talk about. Obviously what she was going to do with the baby...but she knew her mom had a ton of questions up her sleeve.

"How about we start with how this happened?" JJ suggested, seemingly reading Haven's mind.

"Do you want the details?" Haven asked dryly. JJ smirked.

"No thanks"

Haven sighed. "There isn't much to tell, I guess. We had sex about two or three months ago, we _definitely_ used a condom...it must have broken"

"Who's the father?" JJ asked, setting her cup down in the grass beside her as she turned a little more to face her daughter properly.

Haven exhaled heavily. "Connor Hamilton"

JJ frowned, a hint of a grin playing at the corners of her mouth. "Connor Hamilton? That weedy kid that looks like your Uncle Spence?"

Haven's cheeks burned bright red as she nodded. "We really like each other"

"Ok then," JJ replied, clearly fighting back the urge to laugh. This was not the time. She was meant to be angry at her daughter for the situation she was in. But the revelation about the broken condom had softened her a little. It really was just a major accident.

"Haven...why didn't you come to me when you first had sex and talk to me about going on the pill? It probably would've saved you from this whole mess"

Haven shrugged. "I don't know...trust me, I'm kicking myself now for not doing that. I guess I was just scared you would get mad at me for having sex, because Dad's all like 'no dating until you're 18'-"

"He's not entirely serious, you realise? He's ok with you dating and being in a relationship, but sex was a huge fat no"

"Does he say the same for Henry?" Haven asked straightaway.

JJ nodded. "He did, when Henry was younger. But Henry's old enough now to handle himself, and it's my belief that you are too..."

"...except now I'm pregnant," Haven finished.

JJ didn't say a word.

They sipped their drinks quietly once more. The sounds of little kids playing in the playground floated up to them and Haven felt her heart skip a beat.

Would that be her in two year's time? Chasing after a chubby little girl or boy as they tore around the playground on their newfound legs? It was a thought that slightly terrified Haven...but filled her with quiet excitement at the same time.

"Can I ask why you went to Henry first?" came her mother's voice breaking into her thoughts.

Turning to look at her mom, Haven saw for the first time the hurt that resided in her mother's eyes. She knew she felt like her own daughter didn't trust her. And Haven hated that she had caused that.

"I was scared...and Henry's always looked out for me. I knew you and dad would be angry, but Henry wouldn't. I knew he would help me figure out how to tell you guys without passing judgement. I just...I knew he would look out for me like he always has"

JJ nodded understandingly. "It's a really good thing that you have that relationship with your brother. Don't ever take it for granted, ok?"

"I won't," Haven assured her mom, shuffling a little bit closer.

Putting an arm around Haven's shoulders, JJ sighed heavily. "You've got some big decisions to make, my girl. I know you said you don't want an abortion and I can completely respect that. But that means you have to go through this pregnancy. Are you sure that's what you want to do?"

Haven nodded. "I don't want an abortion. They sound awful"

"Well then, you need to decide if you want to keep the baby or give it up for adoption. I'm going to be very honest right now and tell you that I think it would be in your best interests to seriously consider adoption"

"Yeah," Haven said softly, looking down at the ground.

"I'll help you make that decision, but ultimately, it's up to you. Just know that whatever decision you make, it's a permanent commitment"

"Why did this happen to me?" Haven asked. "I mean, I didn't want this to happen at all. Why did the right circumstances for pregnancy have to land with me?"

"Shit happens, Haven. These things just happen to the most unprepared people and they have to deal with it"

"Does Dad hate me?"

The question threw JJ completely off guard. She swallowed thickly, turning to look at Haven with tears in her eyes.

"Your dad could never hate you, my girl. He's just upset. You're his little girl, and now you're having a baby. It's a big shock for him, more so than I think it is for me. He'll come round, he just needs time"

Haven let out a sob. "I just...I really want both of you right now, and I miss him because he's not speaking to me or even looking at me"

Wrapping both arms around her daughter, JJ hugged her tightly. "You know what I think you need to do? When your dad gets home tonight, I think you should ask him if he wants to go out for lunch on Saturday. Show him you want to be mature and handle this like an adult. You two can talk, and hopefully it'll start to get you to a better place"

Silence fell between them as Haven lay her head on her mom's shoulder. The sounds of the city played around them; birds in the trees, buses and cars, kids screaming as they played.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Mom," Haven said softly. "I feel like I'm losing my mind"

JJ smiled at the well-placed compliment. "You'll be fine, milagro. You'll be just fine"

* * *

The evening had been tense. Will's duty to silence had any room in which he was residing almost unbearable to stay in. He had been mostly silent through dinner, focusing on his own food as JJ tried to encourage Haven to finish her meal.

Once Henry had retreated to his room, Haven made her way back into the kitchen. Her mom was finishing up the dishes, while her dad was working on some paperwork from the precinct. She was glad her mom was still in the room. It made the whole thing feel a little less on edge.

"Dad?"

She was surprised when Will actually looked up. What she wasn't surprised about, however, was the expression on his face; totally indifferent.

Sliding into the chair across from her father, Haven placed both hands on the table.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to lunch with me on Saturday...and we can talk?" she suggested softly.

Will stared blankly at his daughter for a moment. Glancing up, he noticed the look JJ was throwing over Haven's shoulder, and he instantly knew it would be in his best interests to accept the offer.

"Sure...sounds great," he said gruffly, picking up his pen once more.

Haven beamed.

"Thanks Dad," she said warmly, getting up and placing a kiss on her father's cheek before leaving the room again.

"You're a tough nut to crack, LaMontagne," JJ said sternly once she was sure their daughter was out of earshot.

"I don't like it," Will started, knowing where the conversation was going.

"You don't have to. But that girl is scared, and all she wants is your support. She told me today that she _misses _you. How sad is it that your own daughter misses you and you haven't even gone anywhere?"

Throwing the tea towel down on the table, JJ left the room also, leaving Will alone to consider what she had just said.

She didn't know what was going to happen in the future.

All she knew was it was going to be one hell of a ride.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: It's been a bit of a rollercoaster so far, hey?**

**I would've updated the other day but this little thing happened called The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. If you have never played Skyrim, I am telling you now, you are missing out on one of the best open world RPGs ever made. It's fantasy, medieval, magic, dragons, magic dragons, war, violence, thievery, horse riding...there's something for everyone. Like the other day, I ENDED A CIVIL WAR. I went into a city and swung my axe around and shouted some Imperial bastards off the top of a tall building, it was so great.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates. And Bethesda did not pay me to endorse their game, I did it of my own accord because it is so fan-f***ing-tastic.**

* * *

"Woah"

Haven bit her lip, watching Connor closely to see what he was going to do.

She had caught up with him that morning and told him nothing more than that they needed to have a chat. Connor had agreed and joined her in a secluded corner of the school grounds during their lunch break. Haven had broken the news to him as quickly and as gently as she could.

"You're sure about this?" Connor questioned, lowering himself onto the low wall behind him.

"Positive," Haven replied. "No pun intended"

The corners of Connor's mouth quirked up in a tiny smile.

"Have you told your parents?"

Haven sighed, moving to sit beside him. "Yeah. My dad was so angry...he still is. I don't know for sure, he's not talking to me. But my mom is ok. She's disappointed, but she's supporting me"

"I want to support you too, Haven," Connor said quietly.

Haven looked at him in surprise. "Really?"

Connor nodded. "Yeah...I mean, I don't think a relationship between us will work out"

Haven shook her head. "No, I didn't think so either. We were just messing around. We never expected a baby"

"Exactly. But I still want to be here for you. If you decide to give the baby up for adoption, then I support that. If you decide to keep the baby, I want to be a part of its life"

Haven smiled, wrapping her arms around Connor. "I couldn't ask for anything more"

"I'll talk to my parents this afternoon. They'll be disappointed I'm sure...but what's done is done"

"I'm pretty sure my mom wants to speak with them, so let me know what they say"

Connor nodded. "I will"

Hugging each other one last time as they stood up, Haven kissed his cheek.

"Thank you"

* * *

Sitting down across from her best friend, Amber, Haven was a little worried about how Amber was going to take the news. Amber was what Haven could simply describe as wild; a true party animal.

"So you texted me and said you had something super duper important to tell me. Spill," Amber said nonchalantly, pushing her lunch around her plate and scooping up a mouthful of potato mash.

"I'm pregnant," Haven said quickly, keeping her voice low.

Amber laughed. "Yeah right Haven, like I'd believe that. As if you of all people would end up pregnant at sixteen"

Looking up, she saw the deadpan expression on Haven's face, how Haven had not even flinched.

She froze.

"Oh my god, you're actually serious," she whispered. "What happened!?"

"Broken condom," Haven muttered. "I thought Dad was going to kill me"

Amber's eyes widened. "I'm not surprised...oh my god. I just...wow"

Haven said nothing, merely nodded in agreement as she lamely pushed her food around in a circle before her.

"So who did you do the dirty with?" Amber asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Connor Hamilton," Haven mumbled.

Amber raised an eyebrow. "Really? Connor? Haven, you're an absolutely stunning girl, and you made a kid with Connor?"

Haven cocked her head, giving Amber a look that said '_Don't_'. "We really like and care about each other. I think he's cute. That's all that matters to me"

Amber shrugged. "I guess. What did he say?"

"He's shocked...but he's going to support me. It's all I can ask for," Haven replied softly.

Reaching across the table, Amber took Haven's hand. "You have me as well, Haven. I'll be the favourite aunt. The coolest aunt ever"

For what felt like the first time in ages, Haven cracked a genuine smile.

* * *

Sifting through file after file, JJ found her brain getting further and further away from work with each one she opened.

Stopping for a moment to sip her coffee, she leaned back in her chair, taking a deep breath as she cradled her mug in her hands.

"Too many files?"

Opening her eyes, JJ found Kate grinning at her from her desk. Smiling back, she shrugged.

"Something like that. I think Morgan slipped me a few"

Kate laughed, shifting the file she had just finished to the completed stack at her right. Grabbing a new one, she opened it and poised her pen, ready to begin.

But upon glancing up, she noticed JJ gazing off to the other side of the room, clearly absorbed in her thoughts.

"JJ?" she called softly, grabbing the blonde's attention.

"Yeah?" JJ replied, turning quickly to the brunette.

"Are you alright? You seem really distracted," Kate said simply.

"Actually, JJ, I've noticed that too," came Hotch's deep voice from behind JJ. "Is everything ok?"

JJ blushed a little, turning back to her desk. She hated it when people noticed things weren't ok. And right now was definitely not the time to tell the team that she was going to be a grandmother in seven months. They still had to work through it as a family.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Just having some issues with Haven. Teenage stuff, you know how it is," she said quickly.

Kate scoffed. "Absolutely. God am I glad Meg's all grown up. Still have to get through what's left of Lauren's teen years"

"You'll let me know if something is wrong, won't you, JJ?" Hotch said quietly.

JJ looked up at her boss, nodding slightly as she gave him a reassuring smile. "Everything's fine, Hotch"

With a nod, Hotch walked away, ascending the steps to his office quickly and calmly.

As she turned back to her files, JJ let out an inaudible sigh.

If only they really knew.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So I'm giving Henry a bit of a project. Yes, it means I can use something I absolutely love in this story, oh well, bit of fun for Henry.**

**And I want to sincerely thank Aoife (HotchnerJareau) for all her help with this chapter. She practically wrote half of it for me as due to my seriously screwed up sleeping pattern , my brain has just quit all creative processes. So thanks heaps Aoife, I hope I can return the favour someday :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

Saturday finally arrived, and with it, so did Haven's lunch date with her dad.

As she brushed her long dark hair, she was fighting the butterflies in her stomach. This could all go fantastically ad bring her and her dad back to a good place...or it could all go disastrously wrong.

Setting her hairbrush down, she looked at her appearance one final time in her mirror. Satisfied with how she looked, she grabbed her bag, closing her bedroom door behind her as she headed out onto the landing and down the stairs.

Henry was making his way up to his room, no doubt to play on his PlayStation. As he passed his sister, he grabbed her arm.

"Hey," Henry hissed. "If things go really sour, text me and I'll come and get you, ok?"

Haven smiled, pulling her brother into a hug. "Thanks Henry"

Squeezing her hand quickly, Henry pulled away, continuing up to his room.

Finally reaching the lounge room, Haven found her mom sitting on the sofa.

"Dad not ready yet?" she asked, making her mom look up as she entered the room.

"Not quite. He won't be long," JJ said gently. "You look very pretty"

Haven's cheeks went slightly pink. "Thanks Mom"

Hearing footsteps behind her, Haven turned to see her dad standing in the archway, clearly working hard to his face void of all emotion.

"Ready to go?" he asked flatly. Haven nodded, hugging her mom before walking to the front door, giving her dad a small smile as she passed him.

Approaching her husband, JJ gave him a stern look. The second Haven had closed the front door behind her, she spoke.

"Please behave. I don't want her coming home in tears. She's trying to be mature about this, so please hear her out"

Will heaved a sigh. "I'll try"

JJ gave a slight nod, wrapping her arms around in a quick hug before kissing his cheek. "She's still our daughter, Will"

Will nodded, letting go of his wife and following in his daughter's footsteps out the front door. Moments later, the door had closed, and they were gone.

"They're going to kill each other"

Slapping her son's shoulder, JJ glared at him.

"Don't say that!"

Turning on her heel, she walked into the dining room, taking a seat at the table where she had been sorting through random pieces of paper from the office.

"Hey Mom, you know how I have my PlayStation?" Henry asked, following his mom through to the other room.

"Yeah?"

"Well, Dad was saying he had an old PlayStation when I was little. Did he use it much?"

JJ shook her head. "He had it when I met him. He was a single guy living in New Orleans. Said he used to get drunk and come home and play video games"

Henry laughed. "Sounds like Dad"

"But after he moved here, he didn't use it much. Maybe occasionally, but not often at all"

"Does he still have it?"

"I don't know. Why do you ask?"

Henry shrugged. "I got bored the other day and I was going through Wikipedia pages. I ended up on the list of games for the really old PlayStations, like the first few models. Some of the games sound really good, and I was wondering if Dad had any of them"

JJ gestured over her shoulder. "If he still has it, it'll be in the garage with any games he had"

Henry beamed. "Cool! Thanks Mom"

JJ chuckled as her son ran off to find his dad's old possessions. She knew if he found it, it would be caked with dust and probably wouldn't work.

But her boy had a knack for tinkering with things and getting them working again. Therefore, she also knew it would not be long before she was hearing familiar game sounds coming from her son's bedroom.

* * *

"That'll be forty two dollars"

Opening his wallet, Will was surprised when Haven covered it with her hand.

"Let me. Why don't you go and pick a table?"

Will nodded curtly, turning and heading to a secluded corner of the cafe as his daughter paid for their food.

Once she had paid, Haven joined her father at the table, sliding into the seat opposite with her eyes downcast. They had barely spoken since leaving the house. The only time Will had spoken to his daughter was when he asked where she wanted to go.

Although his voice had been strained, it hadn't sounded hostile. To Haven, that was a glimmer of hope.

Neither of them knew what to say. It had been quite ugly between them for the past few days. Haven had been avoiding her father purely to avoid the rise in anxiety she felt whenever they were in the same room.

It felt like hours that they sat in the uncomfortable silence, neither of them sure exactly what to do or say.

Finally, just when Haven thought she couldn't take it anymore, Will spoke.

"So...you're definitely pregnant?" he asked slowly, cautiously sounding out each word to avoid sounding angry.

Haven swallowed thickly, her knuckles whitening as she clenched her hands together. "Yeah"

Will looked down, taking a deep breath as he clasped his hands in front of himself.

Haven felt herself relax a little more as she opened her mouth to speak. "I know...I know that this isn't want you and Mom want for me...I never wanted this either...but it's happened now. There's no going back"

"You sound just like your mother," Will mumbled, remembering the night Haven had broken the news to him and JJ.

Haven cracked a tiny smile. "Well...I sort of am a mother now...and you always say I'm too much like Mom for my own good"

She was amazed when Will smiled, although he clearly looked as though he was fighting it back. "You and your mom are like two peas in a pod"

Haven sighed, reaching for her dad's hand. "I really am sorry for everything. I know I've disappointed you and Mom, and I wish I could go back and make different choices"

Will accepted the gesture, holding his daughter's hand gently between his own. "Haven...I am shocked...upset even. You're my little girl, and now your life as you know it is going to change forever. You're so young to be having a baby...I know it happens worldwide every day, but your mother and I never imagined it would be our child. I love you so much, Haven, and all I've ever wanted is for you to grow up into the beautiful young lady that you are, see the world and experience everything it has to offer. Now you're going to have a baby, and it changes everything"

"I know," Haven said softly.

"That being said though...I know I reacted badly when you told us. I wasn't totally off point...but telling you to get an abortion was wrong and for that I apologise"

"I know I could've done more to prevent it...could've talked to Mom about the pill...but we weren't careless. It really was just an accident," Haven assured her father.

"Your mom explained everything. Have you...given any thought to what you're going to do about your education?"

Haven shrugged. "I really don't know what I'm going to do. I was hoping you and Mom would help me out"

Will nodded. "I know my behaviour hasn't been exactly nice recently...but you're still my daughter, milagro. I won't let you go through this on your own. It's hard enough when you're a fully grown adult with a stable job. The amount of times your mother simply dumped Henry in my lap and walked out of the house because he wouldn't stop crying...I'm amazed he's still alive"

Haven giggled. "He's just a troublemaker through and through"

"I'm going to try and put my differences aside and help you out as much as I can, ok? It still upsets me. But as your mother said, it's done. We have to make do now"

Haven smiled, letting go of her dad's hand as their food approached the table.

"I love you, Dad"

"I love you too, Haven"

* * *

"YES!"

Turning in surprise at her son's cry of success, JJ laughed to see him emerging from the garage, a tattered cardboard box clutched in his arms.

"You found it?" she asked incredulously. "I was convinced he would've thrown it out by now. This is proof that you and your father need to clean out the garage"

Setting the box down on the table, Henry lifted out the console, which was covered in an even layer of dust.

"PlayStation 3. Wow. This is so old," he mused, setting it down on the table.

As he examined the cords dangling from the dusty machine, JJ pawed through the box, lifting out the stacks of games that had been stored beneath their accompanying console.

"Grand Theft Auto 5. Like you need more violence and sex games," she scoffed. Henry laughed, taking the stack from her hands to have a look.

"Grand Theft Auto, Assassin's Creed, Far Cry 3, Skyrim...these games look awesome. Grand Theft Auto and Skyrim were on that list I was looking at"

JJ raised an eyebrow. "Not so fast kid, you have to get this thing working again"

Henry scoffed. "Come on Mom, that's easy. Clean out the dust, check the connections, make sure there's no chewed wires...Dad can help me when he gets home"

JJ shrugged, walking off to the kitchen as Henry packed everything back in the box and carried it up to his room.

That boy played so many video games, and yet he still had a girlfriend.

How, JJ would never be sure.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Little bit of Skyrim promotion at the bottom. If you are intrigued by the basic description there, honestly, go and buy it because you will not regret it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates and Bethesda did not pay me to promote their game.**

* * *

_'Dovahkiin, dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin'_

"Henry! Turn your stupid TV down!" Haven cried, hammering on the bedroom wall. "I'm starting to sing that stupid dragon song and I don't like it!"

"You wouldn't think it's stupid if you accepted my offer to play the game!" Henry called back from the other side.

Henry and Will had successfully cleaned all the dust out of the old PlayStation 3 and gotten it working. It had been set up in Henry's room, the stack of games joining the ones he already had for his much newer PlayStation.

Haven rolled her eyes. "No thanks!"

Hearing a knock at her bedroom door, Haven sat up, setting her book to one side.

"Is that you, Henry?" she called.

The door opened, and her mother's head appeared around the frame. "Nope, just me. Can I come in?"

"Yeah," Haven replied, moving over so her mother could sit down beside her.

"So your ultrasound is on Wednesday morning. I'll take you and drop you at school afterwards. We'll just say you had a dentist appointment," JJ said as she sat down. "The ultrasound will tell you how far along you are and just make sure everything is ok"

Haven nodded, satisfied with what her mom was saying.

"Have you given any more thoughts on what you're going to do once the baby is born?"

Letting out a sigh, Haven shrugged. "I'm not decided. I mean...it's a big decision. On the one hand, giving the baby up for adoption means I can go back to a mostly normal life and finish my education almost on time...but I know I would miss my baby so much. On the other hand, if I keep the baby...that's a lot to take on, and I don't know if I can do it. It also means I have to put my future on hold, which isn't so bad I guess, but still"

JJ nodded, reaching over to squeeze Haven's hand. "It is a big decision, Haven. And I know I said it's probably in your best interests to consider adoption...but I know it's a difficult thing to do, just give up your baby to someone else"

"Yeah," Haven said softly. "If I kept the baby...would you and Dad be able to help me out?"

JJ nodded slowly. "We would be able to help you, but you would also have to learn how to care for the baby by yourself, because in a few years you'll have to be independent. If you keep the baby, it wouldn't be long before you two needed your own space, and your dad and I can't move in with you"

"I know," Haven replied.

"Just have a good think about it, ok? We need to know soon because if you decide to give the baby up for adoption, that needs to be sorted out before you give birth"

At the word 'birth', Haven swallowed thickly. "Does giving birth hurt?"

JJ shrugged. "It depends. A lot of things factor in to whether birth hurts"

"Did it hurt for you?"

"With your brother, yes. Usually, the first time you deliver naturally, it'll hurt more. Epidurals can take the edge off, which it did for Henry, but I could still feel a lot of pressure and that alone was a bit painful. With you on the other hand, it was a little better. I delivered without an epidural or any pain medication because after the hell we'd been through trying to have you, I didn't want _any_ complications"

Haven grimaced. "I'm hurting just thinking about it"

JJ laughed. "Well, with you I probably hurt more than with Henry, but it felt easier delivering you. Henry just didn't want to come out"

Haven grinned. "So that's why he lives in his bat cave and we never see him"

JJ laughed again, shaking her head at her daughter.

"That could be part of the reason"

* * *

Sliding into Henry's room, Haven shut the door behind her.

"Oh sure Haven, come in," Henry said sarcastically, shooting his sister a grin.

"I could hear your character fighting something, so I knew you weren't watching porn," Haven shot back.

"Nice," Henry replied. "Like I watch porn"

Raising an eyebrow at her brother, Haven sat down beside him.

"I'm twenty three, I do what I want," he muttered, shuffling over so she had a bit more room.

Leaning into her brother's side, Haven watched as his on-screen character took a swing at a dragon's snout, which was currently trying to get a good bite in.

"Is this Skyrim?" she asked incredulously. "You've been playing all day?"

"It's a great game, Haven"

Smiling as she settled against him, she sighed softly. "Tell me the story. I don't want to think about this baby for a while"

"Well, Skyrim is the largest province of Tamriel. It's now 4E 201, and dragons have returned to Skyrim. The High King is dead. The leader of the Stormcloaks, Ulfric Stormcloak, shouted him to pieces. Your character is the Last Dragonborn – a person born of dragon blood, who is the only one capable of defeating the World Eater, Alduin. Alduin is resurrecting the dragons from their burial mounds, and in the midst of the civil war between the Stormcloaks and the Imperials, it is your job to defeat them..."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: In honour of our lovely AJ's baby bump and wonderful news, guess who also has a bump? Miss Haven of course!**

**Although, not so wonderful news here, sorry guys :(**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

Pulling her pyjama shirt over her head, Haven turned towards the mirror. As she caught sight of her reflection, she froze.

She had a bump. It was barely there, but Haven knew her body. Her stomach was normally flatter than that.

Turning side on, she stared at her reflection, one hand resting lightly over the rounded skin of her belly.

"Wow," she breathed, in awe of the fact that she really did have a little baby growing inside her, depending on her for life.

It was scary to think that it was really happening. She was so young, and she was already creating life, something which she was both in awe of and terrified of. But Haven was determined to stick it out. She had had sex at a young age, and now she was going to have to deal with the consequences.

"Haven, come on, you're going to be late!" Henry called through the door.

Startling, Haven jumped. "Yeah, coming!" she yelled back, grabbing her clothes from her bed and pulling them on. She ran her hairbrush through her hair, throwing it into a ponytail, before grabbing her bag and making her way out of her room.

* * *

JJ had thanked her lucky stars when they reached five o'clock without getting called for a case. Heading straight home as soon as they had finished work, she'd come through the door to find her husband and her kids sitting around the table laughing.

She had lingered for a moment in the hallway, listening to the sounds of their happiness. She knew Will still had some issues to work through where Haven's pregnancy was concerned, but it warmed her heart to hear them all together, happy and content.

"Nice to see you out of your cave," she said as she entered the room, smirking at her son. Henry stuck his tongue out in reply, making JJ laugh.

"We made dinner. Chicken stir fry. I was going to make savoury omelettes, similar to the ones you used to like at the pub in New Orleans, but Haven turned green as soon as I suggested it," Will told his wife.

Turning to look at her daughter, JJ noticed the green tinge creeping up her cheeks. She watched her daughter with concern, knowing all too well what was coming next.

"Haven?"

"Now I'm actually gonna be sick," Haven choked out, flying out of her chair and heading for the sink. JJ was quick to follow, holding Haven's hair back as she leaned over the sink and retched violently. JJ was glad there were no dishes in the sink; that was not a cleaning job she particularly wanted to deal with.

Rubbing Haven's back as she coughed and gagged, JJ turned on the tap, rinsing the sink out as Haven finally straightened up.

"You ok?" she asked, handing Haven some paper towel.

"Yeah," Haven choked out, wiping her mouth as JJ shut off the tap.

"Eggs used to make me queasy too. It'll get better in a few weeks," JJ said gently.

"I sure hope so," Haven replied, binning the paper towel and heading back to the table. Sliding back into her chair beside her brother, she willed her stomach to keep everything else down.

As Will and Henry got lost in a card game, Haven had her head down, staring at the wooden surface of the table. A thousand thoughts were running through her head.

When she felt her mother's hand close around hers, she looked up.

"You'll be ok," JJ said softly, just loud enough for her daughter to hear.

Haven managed a smile, squeezing her mom's hand.

"I know"

* * *

Looking up from the case file she was perusing, JJ smiled when Will walked towards her with a glass of wine.

"For you," he said warmly, handing it to her. JJ smiled gratefully, taking a sip as she closed the case file and set it to one side.

"Thank you," she said, settling back as Will sat down beside her and put an arm around her shoulders.

"I still can't really believe this is happening," Will said softly. "She's our baby girl...where has the time gone?"

"I don't know," JJ sighed, setting the glass down on the coffee table before cuddling into Will's side. "It feels like yesterday she was born...now she's having a baby of her own"

"Remember how stressful your pregnancy was with her?"

"God, don't remind me. I was a freaking mess"

Tipping JJ's chin up so she was looking at him, Will tightened his hold on her. "You had every right to be. After what happened in Afghanistan...and what we went through...I didn't blame you"

"We just need everything to go smoothly for Haven. We'll get her through this...it's not conventional but what's done is done. We still raised a beautiful girl with a heart of gold," JJ said softly.

"We did. I'm still...not angry...maybe frustrated is a better word. But she's still our daughter. Everything will fall into place"

* * *

"MOM!"

Her eyes flying open, it took JJ a moment to register where she was.

"MOM! Mom! MOM!" came the repeated scream of her daughter. JJ could hear the tears, the sickening fear that was lacing her daughter's voice.

"Haven?" she yelled back, throwing the covers off of herself and leaping out of the bed as Will made an attempt to get up. "Haven!"

Upon discovering his foot was tangled in the sheets, Will stumbled, falling to the floor as JJ threw open the bedroom door and hurried down the hallway.

"Haven, what's wrong-" JJ started to say as she reached Haven's bedroom door in seconds, throwing it open just moments before she froze in the doorway.

"I don't...what...I," Haven sobbed from where she was huddled on the floor, her hands gripping her stomach. "Mom, I-"

JJ felt like she was going to throw up. There was blood. On Haven's bed sheets, on her pyjama shorts, on her hands. She was ghostly pale, tears streaking her cheeks as she gasped for air.

"Haven, what-" Will started as he finally caught up to his wife. He fell silent, his face draining of colour as he took in the image before him. "Oh my god"

Forcing her legs to move, JJ managed a few steps into the room before she collapsed just in front of her daughter.

"It's ok, Haven, it's ok," she choked out, her voice cracking as she wrapped her arms around her distraught child.

"Haven, are you ok, I heard you-" came Henry's voice as he ran down the hallway. JJ knew he'd reached the door once his voice dropped off.

"What the fuck happened?" he suddenly exclaimed, his voice rising in panic. "Is she ok? Mom!"

"Will, g-get the car k-keys. Henry...get one of the bla-blankets out of the closet...you're going to c-carry your sister t-to the car," JJ instructed through oncoming tears, her voice shaking terribly. Her hands were shaking awfully and her skin had gone as pale as Haven's.

She listened as the two men ran off to do what she had asked them. Once they were gone, she looked back at her hysterical child.

"Haven...Haven, look at me," she said softly, brushing Haven's hair back from her face with a shaking hand.

Haven lifted her face, tears running down her cheeks as she tried to contain her sobs. "Wha-what's ha-happen-ing to m-me?"

Tears sprung to JJ's eyes as she swallowed thickly in an effort to control them. "I...I think you're having a miscarriage"

Haven let out a distraught sob, crumbling in her mother's arms. She was unable to get any more words out, instead only able to cry as JJ held her tightly.

Henry returned shortly after, clutching a thick blanket he had retrieved from the closet. Without any words, he wrapped Haven up in it before easily lifting her into his arms. Haven clutched at him, her face buried in his shoulder as they left the room.

Now alone, JJ looked around the room, taking in the sight of the blood on the bed and on the floor before her. It looked like a crime scene, but it also brought back painful memories.

_Kicking the covers away, JJ froze when she felt wetness on the sheets. Looking down, she realised the bleeding had picked up again. She had bled through the sanitary napkin she'd worn to bed, her underwear and her sweatpants._

The last thing she wanted to think about was her own miscarriage just two years prior to Haven's arrival. It made her sick to her stomach.

_After five more minutes of intense contractions, JJ felt something easily slide from between her legs. She immediately started to cry as she realised what it was._

_Letting go of Will's hand, she reached into the water, gently lifting their tiny baby up against her chest._

"_Oh cher," Will breathed, his tears falling as he took in the sight of the little baby, so tiny that it fit snugly in JJ's hand. The features had only just started to develop, but it was developed enough to see a tiny nose and pair of eyes. Miniscule hands and spindly little legs completed the tiny little figure._

Diving for Haven's wastebasket, JJ heaved up the contents of her stomach, unable to take it any longer as the memories of that horrible day came flooding back.

Teenage pregnancy wasn't what she wanted for her daughter. But this was not how she wanted Haven's pregnancy to end.

She wouldn't have wished it on her worst enemy, let alone her own child.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry to do that to you. HotchnerJareau and I have had this planned out for ages. She's a godsend!**

**So in other news, I have potentially broken a bone in my wrist/hand. We were learning a contemporary dance at dancing the other night and we had to punch the floor (imagine holding a screwdriver and having to stab it into the floor. That motion). I got really into the dance because I really liked it and on our LAST run through, I punched the floor so hard that I felt something crack. Today it was black and tender and swollen. It doesn't **_**hurt**_** but it aches a bit and I still have full range of motion pretty much, so if it's still a lovely shade of black tomorrow, I'll be trotting off to the doctor.**

**I can still write, which is a good thing!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

Alone in the room with Haven, all JJ had managed to do was cry for what her daughter was going through. Henry and Will had opted to wait in the waiting room, sensing that the two girls needed some time alone to process the events of the night.

Laying beside Haven, JJ was holding her sobbing daughter, running her fingers soothingly through Haven's hair. They had sat in total silence since the doctors and nurses had all left them alone.

Wiping at her eyes with her free hand, JJ swallowed thickly, trying to quell her sobs as Haven turned over and laid her head on her mom's shoulder.

"I was...starting to...get used...to the idea of...having a baby," Haven choked out, tears leaking from her already swollen eyes. "And now...it's gone"

Biting her lip, JJ wrapped an arm around her daughter, pulling her close. "Oh, Haven...it's cruel. You may be young and supposedly...better off, but it's not fair...not fair that you have to deal with this"

Haven let out a sob. "It's horrible. I would never...wish that this had happened to you when...you were pregnant with me"

JJ swallowed hard, remembering the day she and Haven had had a massive fight which had resulted in Haven saying that JJ wished she had miscarried her little miracle.

"It is horrible, baby girl...and I'm right here for you...right here"

* * *

Standing just inside the door of his daughter's hospital room, Will had a lump in his throat the size of a golf ball.

Haven was curled on her side, her face buried in her arms. She had long since stopped crying, but had refused to talk to anyone, instead choosing to keep her face hidden most of the time.

Behind her, JJ was laying on her side, propped up on her elbow as she gently stroked Haven's upper arm. She had barely said a word either, and Will knew it was because she was reliving her second miscarriage.

"Haven LaMontagne?" came a voice from the door.

Will turned to find a young female doctor standing in the doorway, patiently waiting to be given the ok to come in.

"Haven's my daughter. I'm Will LaMontagne," Will said softly, holding his hand out to the doctor, who shook it warmly.

"I'm Doctor McKinley. I just need to do one last ultrasound for Haven before she goes home," she replied, her voice gentle and sympathetic. "Is that ok, Haven? Or would you like me to come back in a little while"

Haven mumbled something into the crook of her arm.

"She'll have it now," JJ relayed quietly. McKinley nodded, moving around to the side of Haven's bed as Haven finally shifted to lie on her back.

"I'm gonna go and find Henry," Will said softly. JJ nodded, watching as her husband left the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

Dragging the portable ultrasound machine over to the edge of Haven's bed, McKinley took a seat on the little stool as Haven pulled up her shirt to reveal her stomach. JJ slid off the edge of the bed, sitting on the chair beside it and folding her arms on the edge of the mattress. One hand loosely gripped Haven's as she rested her chin on her arms.

"I won't tell you the gel's going to be cold, because I'm sure you've already heard that a hundred times this evening," McKinley said softly, giving Haven a sympathetic smile.

Placing the transducer against Haven's skin, she switched the screen on, adjusting the strength until she had it set correctly.

"Ok...," she murmured softly, moving it around slowly on Haven's belly.

A short silence passed before McKinley froze, staring at the screen in utter confusion. "What the...?"

"What?" JJ asked suddenly, lifting her head. "Is something wrong?"

McKinley shook her head, her expression reading nothing but total surprise. "Haven is still pregnant"

"_What?_" Haven and JJ said unanimously, both perking up immediately.

Pointing to a darkened shape on the edge of the screen, McKinley smiled. "Right there. You were originally pregnant with twins"

Haven's eyes widened. "You're joking"

McKinley shook her head. "It appears you've undergone what's known as vanishing twin syndrome; the miscarriage of one embryo while the other remains viable and healthy. It's uncommon for it to present as a full blown miscarriage. Most simply absorb back into the body without you ever knowing they were there"

JJ gaped at the doctor, unable to believe what she was saying. "So...she's still having a baby?"

McKinley nodded. "And she should carry it to term. Of course, if that's what you want-"

"I'm not having an abortion," Haven cut in defiantly.

"Ok well, have you had an ultrasound since finding out you were pregnant?"

Haven shook her head.

Moving the transducer over so she had a clearer view of the baby, McKinley studied the image before her. "Looks like you're about eleven weeks. Everything looks just fine with this little one. Don't worry about not knowing what to feel. It's perfectly ok to grieve the baby you lost and feel happy about the one you still have"

Haven nodded, swallowing heavily as she gripped her mom's hand.

Wiping Haven's stomach off with a paper towel, McKinley rose from her stool. "I'll go grab your discharge papers"

As she left the room, Haven burst into tears again, prompting JJ to pull her into a tight hug.

"It's ok, Haven, it's ok," JJ whispered, rubbing Haven's back. "You're ok"

"I don't want to give it up for adoption," Haven sobbed. "Not after this"

JJ bit her lip, holding her daughter tightly. Whilst she had hoped that in the best interests of Haven's future, Haven would've chosen adoption, as soon as the vanishing twin had been revealed, she'd known what Haven was going to say.

She had promised to support Haven with whatever decision she made. And she was going to make good on that promise.

"We'll talk about it, ok? You've had a rough night. You need to take some time to let all this process, and then you can make your decision," she said warmly, kissing Haven's temple as she pulled away from the hug.

"I love you, Mom," Haven replied, sniffing and wiping her nose on her sleeve.

JJ smiled, tucking Haven's messy hair behind her ear.

"I love you too"


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Amber's back!**

**My wrist isn't broken! (Not sure what story I posted that anecdote in, but I thought it was broken). It's just a nice shade of green.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

"_Twins?!" Will spluttered, suddenly looking incredibly pale as he groped for something to hold onto._

_JJ nodded, swallowing thickly as she drew her jacket tighter around herself. "She was originally having twins. She miscarried one, and is still pregnant with the other"_

"_Woah," Henry muttered. "That happens?"_

"_Apparently more often than people know," JJ said quietly. "Haven was unlucky in that hers presented...the way it did"_

_Seeing the upset expression cross JJ's face, Will moved towards her, wrapping his arms around her as she took a deep breath to calm herself._

"_It was years ago, cher. Focus on our girl. She's gonna need her momma more than ever," he said softly, rubbing her back soothingly._

"_I know," JJ whispered, closing her eyes and clutching at him tightly._

"_Just breathe, my girl"_

* * *

Will had been understandably shocked about the twins revelation, and while he had been devastated that Haven had had to experience a miscarriage, he was quietly relieved that she was no longer contending with twins. Judging from JJ's tone and behaviour, he knew she felt exactly the same way.

Wiping down the kitchen counter after breakfast, JJ looked over to where Haven was curled up on the couch in the lounge room, absently playing a game on her phone. She had decided to keep Haven home for the rest of the week, knowing that she needed some time to adjust to what had happened.

As she rinsed the cloth out in the sink, there was a knock at the front door.

"Haven, can you get that?" she called over her shoulder, knowing exactly who was at the front door.

Haven sighed, pulling herself off the couch and making her way to the front door. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to anyone outside her family.

Pulling the door open, however, she was surprised to find Amber standing on the doorstep, two plastic grocery bags in her hands.

"Hey," Amber said softly, giving her friend a warm smile. "Your mom rang me this morning while you were sleeping. Said you were going through some stuff and could probably use a friend. Mom let me play hookey to spend the day with you"

Haven bit her lip to fight back tears as she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Amber. As wild and rambunctious as her best friend was, she truly was the best friend she knew she could always count on.

Dropping the grocery bags beside her, Amber reciprocated the hug, noticing when Haven started to cry.

"What's going on with you, Haven?" she asked gently. "Aside from the obvious"

Haven stepped back, wiping her eyes as she exhaled heavily. "I'll explain everything, I promise"

Amber nodded, picking up the bags once more as she followed her friend inside.

"Hi Amber," JJ said warmly as the two girls appeared in the kitchen.

"Hey JJ," Amber replied, lifting the two bags onto the table.

"Whatcha got there?" JJ asked, leaning back against the counter as she watched the two girls.

Amber grinned, opening a bag. "Ben &amp; Jerry's. New York Super Fudge for me, Choc Chip Cookie Dough for Haven, and I even grabbed a tub of Couch Potato for you, JJ, because I know you like it even though it's weird as hell"

"You didn't have to do that, Amber," JJ laughed as she took the tub from Amber's hands and moved to put it in the freezer.

"I also got movies," Amber said to Haven as JJ took the other two tubs of ice-cream and placed them into the freezer alongside her own.

"Please don't tell me you got chick flicks, I'll actually barf if you make me watch chick flicks," Haven said seriously, wiping her eyes once more to make sure all the tears were gone.

Amber laughed. "No, I got those appalling end of the world disaster movies with terrible CGI that you seem to live for. I think one is even Korean"

JJ burst out laughing. "God, Haven, you've got awful taste in movies"

Haven cracked a smile as she scooped up the pile of DVD's, leading Amber from the kitchen and upstairs to her room.

Reaching her bedroom, she dropped the DVD's on her bed as Amber shut the door behind them.

"Wanna talk?" Amber said softly, approaching the bed as Haven sat down on the edge of it.

Haven took a deep breath, her shoulders slumping as she stared at the floor.

"I was eleven weeks pregnant with twins," she said softly.

"Was?" Amber asked, confused. "Oh my god, Haven, wait-"

"I miscarried one of them on Tuesday night," Haven whispered, the tears filling her eyes. "The other baby is fine...the doctor said it was normal to feel so conflicted...but I just...my mom went through that. Before she had me"

"Oh Haven, I'm so sorry," Amber breathed, putting an arm around Haven's shoulders.

"No-one outside our family is supposed to know that Mom miscarried, so please don't tell anyone," Haven pleaded.

Amber nodded. "It's ok, your secret's safe with me"

"I'm so...out of it. I'm upset that I miscarried...but at the same time, I'm kind of glad I'm not having twins anymore. I keep thinking that maybe it was for the best, and then I feel guilty for thinking that. But then I think that if it was supposed to be for the best, wouldn't I have miscarried both? So...maybe the best thing is for me to keep the baby...I'm just so confused," Haven admitted, tears tracking down her cheeks.

"You don't have to decide right away, Haven. I'm sure your mom has told you that. Let everything sink in," Amber replied.

"I'm so tired," Haven mumbled, laying her head on Amber's shoulder.

"Let's watch something shockingly awful. You can focus on people getting swallowed by disproportionately large tsunami waves," Amber said, moving away from Haven so she could get up and put a movie on. Grabbing the bag, she rifled through it.

"We've got _2012: Ice Age _or _Category 7: End of the World _making up the first choice of the day," she suggested.

"End of the world sounds pretty good to me," Haven giggled, settling back against her pillows as Amber put the DVD in the player.

She was glad her friend was there. It was so easy to feel comfortable and open when Amber was around.

They wasted the entire day, eating ice-cream and indulging in some pretty god-awful movies. JJ even joined them around mid afternoon, making various comments about how appalled she was at Haven's taste in movies.

Despite everything going on, by the end of the day, Haven was feeling better. She felt like things were looking up.

Maybe everything would be ok.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Short chapter, but very important.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds.**

* * *

Swallowing thickly, Haven looked up at her parents. They were sitting opposite her, calmly waiting to hear what she was going to say.

"I wanted to talk...about adoption versus keeping the baby...and I wanted both of you to tell me, _honestly_, what you think I should do," she explained softly, keeping her voice level.

"Honey, no matter what we think, the final decision has to come from you-" JJ started.

"I know," Haven cut in. "I know that. But I love you guys, and your opinion is really important to me. I need to hear what you have to say"

JJ studied her daughter closely, taking a deep breath as she tried to think of a concise way to word what she wanted to say.

Clasping her hands in front of her, she took another deep breath before opening her mouth to speak. "Haven...you're sixteen. That's really young..._really_ young, to be having a baby. And you know that I will do my best to support you with whatever you decide to do...but in thinking about _your_ best interests, I believe adoption is your best option"

Haven nodded, not saying a word until her mother was done speaking.

"You have a year and a half left of school, and after that, you want to go to university. Keeping up your education is really hard when you have a baby. One of my friends had a baby right out of high school, and she never got the opportunities to go to university like the rest of us because she had a little boy to look after," JJ explained. "I'm not saying you're not capable of looking after a baby...I'm just thinking of your future and what you want to get out of it"

Looking between his wife and his daughter, Will let out a breath. "I agree with your mother. We only want what's best for you and obviously, a baby wasn't what we had envisioned for you when you were born"

Haven nodded slowly, taking in every one of her father's words.

Taking a deep breath, Will glanced at JJ as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the edge of the table. "That being said...while I do think adoption is really the best choice for you...if that's not the choice you want to make, then I'm going to support you. Because if you decide to keep the baby, it's a lot of hard work. We would expect you to be independent, but we wouldn't expect you to do it all on your own"

JJ smiled slightly, placing her hand over Will's as she turned her attention to Haven.

Haven bit her lip, tapping her fingers together as she chose her words. "I've been thinking about this...a _lot_. And I understand why you guys think adoption is my best choice, I do...but after Tuesday night...I don't think I can give the baby up"

JJ nodded knowingly, exhaling heavily as she tossed her head to get her hair out of her face. "I knew you were going to say that"

Haven looked apologetically at her parents. "I feel like I'm disappointing you, but...after everything we went through the other night, I can't just give the surviving baby up to someone else and go back to my life and pretend like nothing happened. I screwed up by getting pregnant so young, and I don't want you guys to be covering my mistakes now. I want to own up to it, I want to take responsibility for my actions and be mature about this. Giving the baby up for adoption doesn't mean I couldn't do any of this, but I feel like...for _me_ to live with this, I need to be a mom. I need to raise this child"

JJ had tears in her eyes which she quickly tried to fight back. "You have our support, Haven. Just know this...it's not as easy as it looks. Looking after a baby is hard work. You'll have our help, but ultimately, it's your responsibility. You need to be sure that this is what you want to do"

Haven nodded confidently. "I'm sure"

Will gave his daughter a gentle smile. "Then it's settled. You'll have grown up in so many ways by the time this baby arrives, and you'll continue to grow for years to come"


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I'm getting really into this story again.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

_How long until you're going to be home? I miss you. Xx Haven_

Reading her daughter's text, JJ felt a painful tug in her chest. She and Haven had always been close, but recent events had brought them even closer. A simple text like Haven had just sent meant the world to the blonde.

_On the jet now. Be home in time for dinner, I promise. I miss you too. Xx Mom_

"You ok?" came Kate's voice as she sat down beside JJ on the couch. "You seemed kind of emotional for a second there"

JJ grinned. "You're better at your job than they give you credit for"

Kate smiled. "Thanks, but you didn't answer my question. Is everything ok?"

Looking up, JJ realised all eyes were on her. With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she knew she hadn't been exactly subtle about the fact that something was going on at home.

"We've noticed it too, JJ," Hotch said softly, answering the question she never voiced. "You've been a little off lately"

Taking a deep breath, JJ realised she was about to cry. She hadn't yet cried over the predicament her family, or more specifically, her daughter, was in. Of all the times she was going to, did it have to be now?

She knew she could tell them. They would support Haven and be there for her like family should. Why was it so hard?

"It's nothing," she started lamely. "I'm fine"

"Are you really?" Hotch asked, giving her a knowing look.

Looking down, JJ took a deep breath. She swallowed thickly before she opened her mouth to speak.

"Haven's pregnant"

That was all she managed to choke out before she burst into tears. "We found out two weeks ago, and it's just been...so hard to come to terms with. My baby is having a baby"

Burying her face in her hands, JJ felt Kate wrap her arms around her. It had gone silent apart from her sobs. No-one knew what to say.

"Excuse me," she whispered, pulling away from Kate and heading for the bathroom.

It was as she slid the lock into place that she totally fell apart, collapsing on top of the closed toilet as sobs wracked her body.

Her baby was having a baby. Haven's life as she knew it was gone forever and now revolved around caring for a child.

She and Will would be grandparents. Henry, an uncle. It was finally starting to sink in, and it felt...unbelievable. Teenage pregnancy was not the path she had ever imagined her daughter going down.

She knew people would stare at Haven. Make lewd comments, judge her to no end. And JJ wanted nothing more than to protect her child from that. Because Haven was not the girl that JJ knew all those strangers would assume she was.

"JJ?"

At Hotch's voice, JJ lifted her head, seeing her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy, her mascara having made tracks down her cheeks.

Grabbing some toilet paper, she cleaned up the mascara as best as she could, before reaching up and unlocking the door.

She remained seated on the closed toilet lid as Hotch slid the door open.

"I'm fine," she muttered instinctively.

Kneeling down in front of her, Hotch gently took her hands into his. "No, JJ, you're not. You've let the last two weeks catch up with you. You need to deal with things as they come"

"I know," JJ sniffed, her voice wavering dangerously. "I just...I'm trying to be strong for Haven and it's _so hard_"

"How is Haven?" Hotch asked.

"She's ok. She's been really mature about it all, actually," JJ said shakily. "She wants to keep the baby, because as she said, she screwed up and she wants to own up to that and deal with the consequences"

Hotch smiled. "You and Will raised an amazing girl. She sounds like she's got a handle on it"

"She was having twins," JJ said, sobs breaking through once more. "And she miscarried one"

Hotch's heart sank, his mind flashing back to the day JJ had told the team about her miscarriage. She'd been utterly shattered.

Now her breakdown made sense.

"Is she alright? Are _you _alright?"

JJ shrugged. "Haven's...in shock. I'm just...barely coping. I don't know, Hotch, it's just a rough couple of weeks for us"

Squeezing her hands, Hotch gave her a comforting smile. "You need to go home and talk these things through with Will. He can do and say a whole lot more than I can. And it sounds like you and Haven need to talk as well"

"All we do these days is talk," JJ muttered. "But you're right"

"Why don't you come out and join us? If you want to talk about it with the others, go for it. If you don't, that's ok too," Hotch said softly.

"I can't face them after that"

Hotch grinned. "Yes you can, JJ. We're not judging you. Take a minute to calm down, and then come back out, ok?"

Hesitating for a moment, JJ finally nodded. Hotch gave her one last smile before standing up and walking back to the main cabin, letting the door slide closed behind him.

It took JJ a few minutes to pull herself together and get cleaned up. When she was finally certain that she had calmed down enough, she exited the bathroom.

As she shyly walked back towards the seats, she was relieved to find that they weren't watching her, waiting for answers. They were playing Uno on the plane's table.

"Here blondie, saved you a seat," Morgan said warmly, gesturing to the seat beside him. "We'll deal you in when Hotch stops cheating"

JJ managed a laugh as she took the seat Morgan was offering. Everyone was in on the game, and everyone was convinced that someone else was cheating. JJ knew for a fact that Hotch _was_ cheating, as she spotted him slip a card into his lap when he thought no-one was watching.

No-one asked a question, for which she was grateful. They knew now, and they could help the LaMontagnes through the difficult time ahead, but they weren't pressing her.

As she sat there, surrounded by her team, JJ felt more at ease.

The only person left to tell was her mom.

* * *

JJ had no sooner closed the front door behind her than Haven had appeared in the hallway in front of her.

"Hey," she said softly, noting her daughter's saddened expression. "What's the matter, milagro?"

"I missed you," Haven replied, walking into her mother's embrace and laying her head on JJ's shoulder. "I had a rough day"

Rubbing Haven's back, JJ nodded knowingly. "Me too, my girl"

"I just kept thinking about...the other baby. And how I have to explain all this to Connor and how his parents want to talk to you and Dad and...I'm just tired," Haven sighed.

Holding Haven close, JJ kissed the top of her head. "You're my daughter. You'll manage"

Haven smiled, lifting her head so she could look at her mom. "I love you, Mom"

"I love you too, milagro. So much"


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Pretty full on. Yeah, the mother is kind of cliché, oh well, it made for a good conflict.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

"I was pregnant with twins"

The words were so softly spoken that Connor almost didn't hear her. But his heart sank immediately; he knew he'd heard her correctly.

"Twins? Seriously?" he asked, his voice dripping with astonishment.

Haven nodded sadly. "But I miscarried one," she said quietly, wanting to get it out in the open as soon as possible. Seeing his expression fall, she quickly spoke up. "The other baby is fine"

Connor shook his head in disbelief. "Haven...why didn't you call me? I would've been there if you needed me"

"It's ok," Haven said reassuringly. "It was hard, but I had my mom. I just kind of wanted some space for a while, you know?"

Connor nodded understandingly. "I can respect that. Are you ok?"

Haven shrugged. "It's a lot to take in, but I'm coping"

Reaching across the table, Connor took Haven's hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Well, I'm here for you, ok?"

Smiling back at him, Haven nodded. "I know. Thank you"

* * *

"Are you sure that my son is the father of this child?"

As soon as the words had left Valeria Hamilton's mouth, Haven watched her mother's eyes narrow dangerously.

JJ and Will had decided to meet informally with the Hamiltons to discuss the predicament their children were in. What they had met with was an unusually quiet husband, and a very opinionated wife. Connor and Haven sat awkwardly at opposite ends of the table, avoiding eye contact with each other.

"Are you accusing our daughter of sleeping around?" JJ asked coldly. "Because we've raised her better than that, certainly"

Valeria muttered something under her breath which Haven didn't quite catch. JJ, however, obviously did, because she immediately made to rise from her seat, only to be forcefully pulled back down by Will.

"We just don't want Connor to end up tied down to this child for the rest of his life. We've got high hopes for him. He's already looking at _Ivy League_ schools," Valeria said coolly, emphasising the 'Ivy League' as she glanced over at Haven.

"You're kidding me, right?" Will said suddenly. "No offence, Connor, you're a great kid, aside...from the obvious-"

"Aside from the obvious?" Valeria spat.

Haven took a deep breath, tipping her head back as she silently prayed for it to stay under control.

"Haven has just as many hopes for her future as Connor does," Will said, trying to keep his voice calm.

"A baby changes that. Ties her down to looking after this child. You can't build a career after getting pregnant at sixteen," Valeria scoffed. "I don't want Connor to pass up his future"

"It takes two people to make a baby. Connor isn't the only one here looking at colleges and deciding what he wants to do with his life," Haven cut in, surprising everyone at the table. "You should know that. Or are you such an old fashioned bitch that you think everything falls to the woman?"

"Haven!" JJ exclaimed as Haven rose from her chair and stormed out of the room. Getting up, she ignored the furious look on Valeria's face as she followed her daughter up the stairs to her bedroom.

Reaching Haven's bedroom door just before it could slam, JJ pushed her way inside.

"What the hell was that?" she exclaimed in disbelief as Haven stopped in the middle of the room and turned to face her.

"What? I'm supposed to sit there and take that? Have her make me out to be some sort of slut who can't keep my legs closed?" Haven replied, her voice rising with each word. "I know Connor's very bright, but I have a future too. I may be responsible for this child but I'm not _tied down_ with no hopes for a career! She's being a snobby bitch!"

"Yeah, Haven, I know, I don't like the woman either, but you can't say that to her! If Connor remains a part of this baby's life, then she will too, and you don't want her to make your life miserable every time she walks into a room!" JJ explained. There was shouting floating up the stairs. Will's voice was clear as a bell above the rest.

"So I shouldn't stand up for myself? She doesn't want her perfect, precious angel son to be associated with me for the rest of his life, like I'm some kind of dirty whore," Haven spat.

"Haven, please watch your mouth," JJ sighed. "I know you're pissed, I am as well"

A knock at the slightly open door interrupted their conversation. Turning around, they found Connor standing in the doorway, waiting for permission to enter the room.

"I'm sorry about my mother," he offered softly.

Sensing the two teens needed to talk, JJ excused herself from the room, giving Connor a warning look as she headed downstairs to try and diffuse the situation in the dining room.

"She thinks I'm a slut," Haven said simply as Connor entered the room and closed the door to block out the argument raging downstairs.

Connor shrugged. "That may be the case...but I'm not my mother. I don't think like her. I don't care what she says, Haven, I want to support you and be a part of this baby's life"

"What about your Ivy League future?" Haven said dryly. "I'd hate to keep you from such a prestigious opportunity"

Connor sighed. "Yes, I am looking at Ivy Leagues, but that's not going to stop me from supporting you. Yeah, the baby might affect your future a bit more, but it's not going to prevent you from having a successful one altogether"

Exhaling heavily, Haven sat down on the side of the bed. "She made me so angry...and upset. But I think it hurt my mom more"

Connor nodded. "I know, I could see your mom getting really mad. I wanted to say something...but I didn't know what"

Lifting her face to look at Connor, Haven looked at him hopefully. "Do you think she'll come around?"

Connor shrugged. "Maybe. She can be pretty uptight...my mom has always been very focused on a _perfect_ family. Her son getting a girl pregnant at sixteen wasn't exactly what she's been envisioning. Her acting out is a way of safeguarding my future as a lawyer, or a doctor, or whatever the hell she wants me to be"

Haven looked at him sadly. Her parents had always encouraged Haven to follow her own dreams. She couldn't imagine having a mother like Valeria, a mother who would push her towards a 'successful' career path.

"What do you want to do?" she asked softly.

Connor took a deep breath. "I love to write. And draw. But I also like biomedical science. It's kind of up there with a doctor, but it's not a popular path"

"You should ignore your mom and do what you want to do," Haven suggested gently.

"I'm working on it," Connor laughed. "But for now, I need to convince her that supporting you is the right thing to do. I don't want to get ten years down the track from now and have you resent me for not being there. I don't want to be an absent father"

Haven smiled. "You know that means a lot to me. And my parents. They appreciate that you want to be involved"

"I know," Connor said quietly. "I'm just trying to do the right thing"

Pulling him into a tight hug, Haven was still smiling. "You're a great guy, Connor. There's no guy I'd rather be stuck in this situation with"

Connor chuckled.

"We're in it until the end"


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Sorry about the delay, got bogged down with a new fandom!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

"So how was school?" JJ asked as she pulled up to a red light. Since telling the team about their family situation, Hotch had been allowing JJ to leave early on the days they didn't get a case, so that she was able to be there for Haven in the afternoons.

"Fine," Haven mumbled, picking at a loose thread on her sleeve. She'd been back at school for a week and she was already over it.

Looking over at her daughter, JJ frowned. "Haven...what's wrong?"

Haven sighed. "Nothing, Mom, everything's fine"

The light turned green, prompting JJ to pull away and turn the corner.

Slowing down immediately, JJ pulled into a vacant parking bay at the side of the road, putting the car into park before turning to Haven.

"Ok, Haven, you clearly forget that I'm a profiler. What's going on, besides the obvious?" she asked calmly.

"Oh my god, Mom, I'm fine-"

"Something is bothering you and-"

"Yeah, right now it's you-"

"Haven-"

"I've screwed up my life!" Haven exclaimed, surprising her mother with the force behind her voice. "I've screwed it up and there's no going back and now I'm going to be the kid that got pregnant and had to drop out"

JJ's jaw dropped. Haven had seemed...ok, if not a little subdued since revealing her pregnancy. Now, it seemed as though her real feelings about getting pregnant so young were coming out.

"Haven...yes, things are changing and they won't be what we expected...but you haven't screwed your life up," she said softly.

"Yes I have," Haven replied, bursting into tears. "Everyone is going to stare and call me a slut...I'm not going to be able to go to college...I know you and Dad said you would help me but, I can't juggle university and a baby. Even if I do go to college, I can't go to any college of my choice...it needs to be close to home"

"Those are obstacles, Haven, not a recipe for having screwed up your life...you have a solid support system, you've made well informed decisions...you're not in this on your own. Even...even when I had Henry, that was a surprise. At first, I was really worried because I'd never even thought about kids-"

"Yeah, but you had a stable career and you'd finished your education and you had Dad"

"Doesn't mean it was easy. Your dad and I were living in different states"

"Your situation and my situation are in different states, Mom, you just...you don't get it"

"Haven...you will find your way through this. You're a smart, beautiful-"

"You always say that, but in reality, I'm not as smart as you seem to think, because I got pregnant at sixteen," Haven spat tearfully.

"Haven-"

"No, Mom, I know that you and Dad wanted me to be this perfect kid who had a nice boyfriend and got good grades, not the junior who fucked up and got pregnant, so you know what, I'm _sorry_," Haven sobbed, throwing the car door open and getting out onto the sidewalk.

"Haven!" JJ called, unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out as Haven slammed her door behind her and started walking off.

"Haven!" JJ yelled again, following her daughter's brisk pace. "Where is this even coming from?"

"I'm a disappointment!" Haven cried, whirling around to face her mother. "I've disappointed you and Dad and let's not even get started on how Gran is going to react when you tell her"

JJ took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a few moments.

Opening them again, she took a few steps towards her daughter. "Haven...I'm not going to lie, your dad and I are disappointed. We wanted nothing but the best for you and teenage pregnancy doesn't exactly make for a very easy time. But...we all have to accept this and move on. Your dad and I still love you so much, Haven, you're our child. We couldn't _not _love you if we tried!"

Haven swallowed thickly, sniffling as she wiped away her tears.

"But we never expected you to be perfect. That would be unfair on you. All we wanted for you was to find your own place and do well in school. You can still do that. It's just going to take a bit of extra work," JJ said softly, reaching out and placing her hands on Haven's shoulders.

"I don't want to go back to school. Everyone is going to say awful things," Haven said tearfully.

"Stick it out for now, ok? You're not even showing yet. When you start to notice it's getting difficult, we'll talk about alternatives, ok?"

Haven nodded numbly, giving in and allowing her mom to wrap her arms around her.

"Let's get you home," JJ murmured softly, running her fingers through Haven's hair.

Haven sniffled, burying her face in her mom's shoulder.

"Ok"


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: New chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

Taking a deep breath, Haven looked up at her mom.

"I don't wanna do this," she said shakily.

JJ shrugged. "You have to. It'll be obvious the next time she visits. Besides, it shouldn't be any scarier than telling me and Dad"

Haven swallowed thickly, watching as her mom dialled the number, set the phone to speaker, and sat it down between them.

The rings seemed to last forever, but eventually, there was a click, and the call was picked up.

_"Hello?"_

"Hi Mom," JJ said with a soft smile. "You're on speaker"

_"Jen! I was wondering when you were going to call next,"_ Sandy replied, a teasing lilt to her voice.

JJ rolled her eyes. "You know I get busy...and forgetful"

_"I know all about forgetful honey, I forget my name about four times a day"_

Haven giggled as JJ grinned at her mother.

_"So to what do I owe this pleasure?"_

"Well, Mom...Haven actually has something she wants to tell you," JJ said, giving Haven a pointed look. "She's right here with me"

_"What is it, Haven?"_ Sandy asked warmly.

Haven stared at the phone for a second, her stomach churning horribly. "Gran, I...I'm...not-"

"Haven," JJ said firmly, giving her daughter a nod. "Just say it"

Haven nodded, swallowing thickly as she looked back at the phone. "Gran, I'm pregnant"

A horribly uncomfortable silence followed as Sandy tried to come up with a response. JJ watched as the colour slowly started to drain from Haven's face, and she briefly wondered if she looked the same.

"_Oh Haven,"_ came Sandy's voice after what felt like hours. _"What were you thinking?"_

"I-"

"_And you, Jennifer, I thought you would have raised her better than that"_

"Haven, go," JJ said sharply, grabbing the phone off the table as she rose from her chair. She knew the second her mother used her full name that the conversation wasn't headed in a good direction.

Haven obliged, immediately getting up and leaving the room. She got to the stairs, but then found she wanted to hear what her mom had to say. Climbing to the top, she sat down on the top step.

Taking the phone off speaker, JJ put the phone to her ear. "Mom, she's already had it out from both myself and Will, she's been through the ringer and back as it is"

"_You're condoning it?"_

"No, I'm not condoning it. Trust me, I was really angry when she told us, Will was so furious he didn't speak to her for a week. She doesn't need to be chewed out by you as well because she knows what she's done. She knows the effect it's going to have on her life"

"_So why did she go and-"_

"Mom, it was an accident. She never intended for it to happen. But she has decided to keep the baby and deal with the consequences of what she's done"

"_I thought you would've raised her to make better choices. Maybe this is retaliation for you being away for work"_

JJ was stunned. Her mother, of all people!

"Are you kidding me? She didn't do this on purpose. She knows I have to work, everyone in this family understands that I have to be away for work, so don't even bring that to the table"

"_Jennifer Jareau-"_

"Mom, I never told her to go out and get pregnant, so don't blame this on me. And sure as hell don't blame this on her!"

Hanging up the phone, JJ slammed it down on the table, not caring if she damaged it.

Taking a deep yet shaky breath, she walked over to the sink, leaning heavily on the edge of the counter as she tried to regain her composure.

Her mother's reaction had been totally unexpected. She had expected her to be upset, yes, but to spin it back on her parenting, and then blame it on her work? She hadn't seen that coming.

"That didn't sound too good," came Will's voice.

Turning around, JJ found him standing at the end of the table, his eyes fixed on her with concern.

Opening her mouth to speak, JJ couldn't get any words out. Instead, she cracked, tears spilling over as Will hurriedly made his way to her.

"Hey...hey," he said softly, wrapping her up in a warm hug. "She'll come around"

"She blamed it on me...on how we raised her...me being away for work," JJ sobbed. "It wasn't...it's not our fault...it's just a mistake"

"I know...your mom will come around, cher. She will, it's just going to take some time. Take it from me," Will said gently, pulling back so he could see JJ's face. Tucking her hair away from her face, he wiped a tear from her cheek. "We've done everything we can to put Haven on the right track. She's our daughter and we love her no matter what. We've let her make the decisions and we've respected those decisions. Your mom is going to have to accept that. And I'm sure that given some time, she will"

* * *

As he made his way back from the bathroom, Henry noticed the light spilling from beneath Haven's door. Normally, Haven was asleep by now.

Deciding to check if everything was ok, he knocked lightly on the door.

"Haven?"

Hearing a rustle from within, followed by a muffled 'Come in', he opened the door and stepped into the room. Haven was curled up in the corner of her bed, leaning against the wall with a cushion clutched to her chest.

"Everything ok?" he asked. "Just...it's past two"

Haven shrugged. "This baby is tearing this family apart"

Sighing, Henry closed the door behind him before sidestepping the clothes on the floor to sit beside her.

"No, it's not. Gran's just...being difficult," he explained.

"But she and Mom just...fell out," Haven countered.

"Haven, I have seen Gran go completely psycho at Mom over the smallest things. I mean, this isn't small, but this also isn't Mom's fault. She'll get over it. And when you have this baby, you'll barely get a chance to hold your own child because Gran will basically abduct her great-grandchild"

Haven laughed. "Ok, now I feel better. When have you seen Gran go psycho?"

Henry raised his eyebrows. "Many times. It's not pretty. It makes Mom going psycho look tame"

Giggling, Haven laid her head on Henry's shoulder. "I'm pretty tired actually"

Henry smiled, nudging her ribs slightly to tease her. "Want me to stay?"

"Yeah," Haven whispered.

"Only if you play Call of Duty with me in the morning"

"I'll kick your ass"

"I'd like to see you try"


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Sorry this took so long!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

"I have no idea what he had planned but he wasn't getting near me-"

"Haven!" Connor called out, cutting Amber off as he ran down the steps at the front of the school. Approaching the two girls, he ran a harried hand through his dark hair, his eyes filled with worry as he came to face them.

"Connor, what's wrong?" Haven asked softly, seeing the anxiety written all over his face.

"My mom...she spoke to the school, about you, I don't know what she said...but everyone knows," Connor said quietly, his voice wavering. "Haven, I'm so sorry, I had no idea what she was doing"

Haven's mouth went dry as she looked past Connor and up to the steps where other students were mingling before class. She now noticed the excessive amount of eyes on her, the whispers behind hands, and the judgemental looks.

"Who told everyone?" she asked in a sickened whisper. "Your mom would've spoken to the principal...who could've known? He wouldn't have said anything"

Connor shrugged. "I don't know...it's a school, word travels fast"

Amber threw her arm around Haven's shoulders. "They're gonna have to go through me first, Haven. Chin up, and be like your mom; not taking anyone's shit"

Haven let out a weak laugh, leaning into Amber's side as they moved towards the steps.

Keeping her head down, she focused on Amber's arm around her shoulders as they walked past groups of people, many of whom were staring openly at Haven. She let Amber keep her grounded and safe, praying that it wouldn't be so bad.

Her mom had promised her that everything would be ok. And for the moment, Haven let herself believe it.

* * *

By the start of her second class, Haven didn't know if she was going to make it to the end of the day. Even her first period French teacher had given her a strange look.

It had barely been ten minutes since she took her seat in Chemistry when the guy next to her, Zack, tapped her arm.

"So," he said softly, leaning closer. "You and Connor, huh?"

Haven gritted her teeth, keeping her eyes fixed to the front of the room.

"You're not the one in our grade who I would've expected to get pregnant," Zack said quietly.

Haven turned to face him, her eyes flashing dangerously, warning Zack to drop it.

Zack's eyes widened. "Oh, no, Haven, I'm not trying to be a dick, I swear"

"Then what are you doing?" she hissed.

Zack took a deep breath. "It's not fair that you're being treated the way you are. Everyone forgets how easy it is for stuff like this to happen when it's not them"

Haven stared incredulously at Zack. Out of all the guys who could've shown their support, Zack was not the one she had expected. He was the epitome of a typical jackass; star footballer who loved parties and girls.

Then again...he was friends with Amber.

"Did Amber put you up to this?" she asked softly.

Zack shook his head. "No. She told me your side of the story this morning, and I just wanted you to know that...well, if you want, you have a friend in me as well"

For a moment, Haven was slightly awestruck. Gradually, her face softened into a smile.

"Thanks Zack. It means a lot"

Zack smiled back, before turning his attention back to the front of the room.

"You gonna pretend Zack's your baby daddy now?" came a hissed voice from the other side of the room.

Squaring her jaw, Haven picked up her Chemistry textbook and threw it Ryan Turner, smacking him square in the back of the head. The weight of the book snapped his neck forward, slamming his face into the desk. Blood immediately poured from his nose as he turned back to look at Haven in shock.

"Haven LaMontagne!"

The room fell silent as everyone turned to look at Haven. Her teacher, Mr Gregory, was giving her a stern look from the front of the room.

"Collect your things and go to the principal's office now!" he instructed, his voice rising.

Without another word, Haven threw her things into her backpack, grabbing her Chemistry book from the floor on her way out of the room.

Clutching her book to her chest, she hurried down the hallway, but instead of taking a left and heading for the principal's office, she took a right and headed for the entrance. She just wanted out. She couldn't handle the judgemental looks and whispers any longer. It had barely been half a day, but she felt like she was suffocating.

As she burst through the front doors, she was helpless to stop the tears falling down her cheeks.

* * *

"I like when it's just me and you," Will murmured, pulling JJ closer to him and kissing her lips deeply.

Sighing as she relaxed into her husband's hold, JJ grinned when he picked her up and set her down on the kitchen counter. Her fingers wound through his hair as they kissed passionately, enjoying some alone time for what felt like the first time in ages.

_SLAM!_

The windows shook with the force behind the slam of the front door. JJ and Will jumped apart, startled by the sound. JJ turned in disbelief, half expecting whichever child had just got home to appear in the kitchen.

She listened to the heavy footfalls as one of her kids climbed the stairs, discarding their bag along the way.

_SLAM!_

"Oh for god's sake," JJ muttered, jumping down from the counter and leaving her husband in the kitchen as she headed for the stairs.

She was halfway up when she heard her daughter's angry yell followed by the shattering of glass.

Quickening her pace, she leapt up the last few steps, racing towards Haven's bedroom door.

Grasping the handle, she attempted to push it open, but found the door locked. In desperation, she pounded against the door, trying the handle again even though she knew it was to no avail.

"Haven! Open the door!" she called.

"Just leave me alone!" Haven sobbed from the other side of the door, moments after something heavy went flying across the room. "I've had enough!"

"Haven!"

"JUST GO AWAY!" Haven screamed, throwing something at the door. It impacted with a loud crash, followed by the shattering of glass.

A new approach was needed.

"Haven," JJ said gently. "Please don't push me away. I know you're sixteen and you don't need your mom...but if you push me away now, getting through the next few years of your life will be incredibly difficult"

"I don't care," Haven cried. A defeated thump told JJ that Haven had given up on the apparent destruction of her bedroom and was now on the floor.

"Milagro," JJ said softly, leaning on the door. "I can tell something happened today. Bottling it up isn't going to make it any easier to deal with. I hate seeing you upset and hurting...please just open the door so I can help you"

"Why do you care so much?" Haven mumbled tearfully as the lock clicked.

Pushing the door open, JJ found Haven sitting against the wall just inside the door, tears running down her face as her knuckles bled profusely.

Looking up as she closed the door behind her, JJ swallowed thickly at the mess before her. Steeling herself against her frustration, she sank down beside Haven, taking her daughter's injured hand in between her own.

"What happened?" she asked softly.

"That stupid bitch went to the...school and told the principal...that I'm pregnant," Haven sobbed. "I'm not sure exactly...what she said, but she must have...told him I'm pregnant, because the...whole school knows"

JJ's eyes widened. "She _what?"_

Haven sniffed, burying her face in her arms. "Everyone was staring at me...and whispering...it was horrible. I think she's just...trying to keep Connor away from me"

Sighing heavily, JJ wrapped her arms around her distraught daughter.

"It'll work out. I know I keep telling you that, but it will. I'm going to have a chat with Valeria. That wasn't her place to say anything"


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: So, this may seem a little random at this stage, but if it helps you with visualising, I always imagine teenage/adult Henry as Ansel Elgort. I know Ansel isn't blonde, but I was blonde like Henry when I was young and I'm brunette now, so it works. Haven, I honestly imagine as a slightly younger 'pre cake face' Kylie Jenner.**

**By the way, this is a short chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

"No, Mom, please! Please don't, not here!"

Jogging to keep up with her mother's furious stride, Haven tried to tug on JJ's hand to keep her from continuing, but it was to no avail.

While out running errands, JJ had spotted Valeria Hamilton. Her frustration had risen up at the sight of the other woman, and so she was storming towards her with the intent of berating her fiercely.

"Mom!" Haven exclaimed sharply.

"One minute, Haven, it's all I need," JJ said sternly, storming into the shop and heading straight for Connor's mother.

Valeria turned at the commotion, her expression hardening when she spotted JJ.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" JJ asked angrily as she approached her.

"What do you mean?" Valeria replied coolly.

"Going to the school and sharing personal information regarding my daughter to the principal? And somehow, the entire school knows. It was none of your business to say _anything_!"

"It involves my son. Therefore, it is my business," Valeria replied sharply, her eyes narrowing at the blonde woman.

"The situation is. However, her medical condition is not! You were not at liberty to say anything, so you better get your nose out of our family business!" JJ spat. "Back down now. Your son is being incredibly mature about this, so why don't you follow his lead? You better pack it in or I swear to god, you won't know what's hit you"

"Is that a threat?" Valeria asked.

JJ's eyes narrowed.

"You better believe it is," she said quietly, turning her back on the other woman and wrapping an arm around Haven's shoulders as they left the store.

They walked down the corridor in silence for a few moments before Haven stopped.

"Mom, you're shaking," she said softly, pulling her mom into a small alcove nearby.

JJ nodded, swallowing thickly as she held her hands up in front of her.

"She just...made me so angry...no-one treats you like that, Haven. You don't deserve to be treated the way she's treating you," JJ said softly, her voice shaking as she took a deep breath to try and calm herself down.

Gently, Haven closed her hands around her mother's.

"I can handle her. She's just difficult. I have Connor's support and to me, that's all that matters," she said quietly.

Managing a weak smile, JJ pulled a hand free, placing it against Haven's pale cheek.

"I forget that in all this...you're growing up...becoming stronger," she said softly, her thumb stroking Haven's cheekbone. "You really can handle yourself"

Haven smiled slightly, reaching up and hugging her mother.

"I love you, Mom. I don't know what I'd do without you and all your fire"

JJ chuckled, wrapping her arms around Haven and holding her for just a moment.

"Don't you ever forget it"


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Things take a bit of a turn here! Not bad, I promise! Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading and reviewing. I hope you love these characters as much as I do.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

Time was passing by. Before they knew it, Haven was fourteen weeks pregnant, and was starting to visibly show for it. Life was settling into a normal routine, and everyone was coming to terms with what the future held.

"Ok...," Kerry hummed, moving the transducer every which way slowly. "Everything is looking really good, Haven. You're about fourteen weeks now, which means you're in your second trimester. Would you like to find out the sex?"

Haven looked up at her mom, unsure of what she should say.

JJ shrugged. "It's up to you"

Haven turned back to the screen, contemplating for a moment what she wanted to do.

"I'll find out," she said finally, a smile growing on her face as she thought of how real everything was becoming.

Kerry smiled, moving the transducer to a better position. A few moments passed before she turned to Haven, her smile growing even wider.

"You're having a baby girl"

Haven's face lit up, which in turn made JJ smile just as radiantly.

"A baby girl," Haven whispered, turning to look at JJ. "I'm gonna have a daughter"

JJ chuckled, wrapping her arms around Haven and kissing the top of her head. Haven smiled, leaning into the embrace.

"I'll get these developed for you," Kerry said with a gentle smile, leaving the room to give JJ and Haven some time to process the happy news.

"Are you happy?" JJ asked softly, tipping Haven's chin up.

Haven hesitated for a moment, thinking carefully about how she truly felt.

"I am," she said finally, looking up into her mom's eyes. "It's...a lot to deal with...but somewhere in it all, I'm finding reasons to be truly happy"

JJ smiled, her eyes growing brighter as she brushed Haven's hair out of her eyes.

"I'm really proud of you, Haven. You've been...so mature in all of this," she said warmly, her hand drifting down to cup Haven's cheek. "Any initial doubts your father and I had...you're proving them wrong"

Her heart swelling, Haven leaned back into her mother's arms, her mind finally settling as she realised that maybe, she could handle everything life was throwing at her.

* * *

Knocking on the grand set of double doors that graced the front of the house, Haven stepped back for a moment, one hand coming to rest on her bump.

A girl. A baby girl. She would have a daughter.

A tiny smile crossed her face as she thought of what the future held with a daughter. Would they be as close as she was to JJ? She hoped that one day, she would have the relationship with her daughter that her mom had with her.

She was broken from her thoughts by the opening of the door before her. Out of it came Connor, a small smile on his face as he realised it was Haven standing on the porch.

"Hey Haven," he said softly, stepping towards her in the fading afternoon light.

"Hey," Haven replied. "Are your parents home?"

Frowning slightly, Connor shook his head. "No...why?"

"I was hoping we could talk...and, well...your mom isn't my biggest fan," Haven said, shrugging her shoulders slightly before hugging herself.

Connor gave her an apologetic smile. "You know I'm still really sorry about everything she's done"

"I know"

Stepping aside, Connor gestured towards the door. "You wanna come in?"

Haven nodded, heading inside the house, Connor just behind her. She stopped in the main living area, waiting for Connor to close the front door.

As he entered the room behind her, she turned to face him. Her hands moved to her bump again, a faint smile crossing her face once more.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Connor asked, waving Haven towards the sofa.

Taking a seat, she waited for Connor to sit down beside her before she spoke.

"I had another ultrasound this morning," she started once he was comfortable beside her. "It's a baby girl"

Almost instantaneously, Connor's face lit up, excitement clear in his eyes. "A baby girl? Haven...that's incredible!"

Haven laughed as Connor pulled her into a tight hug, resting her head on his shoulder. "It is pretty amazing, hey?"

"A daughter...wow," Connor breathed, holding Haven closer, his smile growing wider by the second.

For a moment, all Haven could think of was how good he smelled.

'_Now is not the time,'_ she scolded herself, pulling away from the hug.

"How are you doing? Is everything going ok?" Connor asked, keeping one hand on the small of Haven's back. The touch was sending shivers up her spine; since when did Connor make her feel like this? They hadn't been together romantically since before she found out she was pregnant.

"Everything's...everything's going really well. My mom and dad have been...amazing. I wouldn't be able to do this without them," she replied, looking up into Connor's eyes. "You've been pretty amazing too. I didn't expect you to stick you around, yet you did...so thank you for that"

"Haven...I'm partly responsible for all of this as well. There was no way I was going to leave it all up to you," Connor said gently, tipping her chin up a little more.

A silence fell between them as they watched each other, seeing who was going to make the next move.

"You know...you look beautiful pregnant," Connor said quietly, making Haven's heart race.

And then his lips were on hers. He was kissing her, ever so softly.

Haven wasn't surprised that she was kissing him back. She'd been fighting her feelings for Connor for so long. Now, she knew everything was going to come pouring out. Whether she wanted it to or not.

As the kiss deepened, Haven felt another feeling stir within her.

Need. Lust.

She wanted him. Needed him. Whether it was hormones or genuine feelings, she wasn't sure, but she wanted more of Connor than she'd ever had.

Somehow, in the midst of deep kisses and roaming hands, she managed to communicate this to him. And somehow, they found themselves in Connor's bed, clothes strewn across the floor around them.

And then he was inside her, his arms wrapped around her, practically holding her together so she didn't fall apart.

"Don't let go," Haven breathed, clutching at him as they moved together. "Please"

"I'm not going anywhere," Connor promised, pressing a deep kiss to her lips as the intensity rose. His arms tightened around her, pulling her in close to him and providing a comfort she didn't know she'd been longing for.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: So this chapter wasn't going to start the way it did, but CMLeoLover, your review gave me an idea! So thank you! It's not exactly what you said, but it's an idea!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

Neither of them had moved after sliding beneath the sheets of Connor's bed. Haven had tucked her head beneath Connor's chin, her body pressed up against his side as he tightened his arm around her.

It felt so natural to be so close to him that Haven found herself wondering why they'd broken it off. They weren't incompatible...they'd just never entertained the idea of a serious relationship. All their relationship had been was a whirlwind of romance and fooling around.

But Haven couldn't bring herself to voice this. What if Connor didn't feel the same way? What if he viewed their sexual encounter as a one-time thing and nothing more?

The slam of a car door sent them flying upright.

"That's my mom!" Connor said in a panicked voice, throwing the sheets back and leaping off the bed. Haven followed suit, joining him in scrambling around the floor for all the items of clothing she'd dropped.

Well...Connor had dropped them.

"Run to the bathroom down the hall and get dressed. That way it'll look like you were in there...not naked...in my bed," Connor said sheepishly, handing Haven her clothes. Haven obliged, slipping out of Connor's bedroom and heading for the bathroom.

She'd just shut the door behind her when she heard the front door open.

As she hurriedly threw her clothes back on, she only hoped Connor would move fast enough to build a convincing story.

Once her clothes were on and straightened, she ran her fingers through her hair, before flushing the toilet and running the sink for a few moments.

Once she was sure she looked convincing, she stepped out of the bathroom, heading for the main living area where she could already hear Connor talking to his mom.

"Who's here, Connor?"

She heard Connor sigh at the tone of his mother's voice. "Haven"

It was then that Haven came around the corner into the room. Valeria's eyes narrowed slightly, her mouth pursing tighter as she took in Haven's visibly more pregnant form.

"You know I don't like you two together," she said suddenly, her straightforward remark surprising Haven slightly.

"Yeah, well, you know what Mom?" Connor started, stepping in front of Haven. "I like Haven. I like hanging out with her. And she's carrying my child. My daughter, in fact. So whether you like it or not, I'm going to support her and I want her to feel welcome here"

Connor's words touched Haven immensely, even more so than she expected. Tears welled in her eyes, making her choke back a sob as she dropped her gaze to the floor.

Connor turned around in surprise, one hand coming to rest on Haven's upper arm.

"Haven? You ok?"

Haven nodded, pressing her lips together to stem the flow of tears. "I need to go home. My mom...will be wondering where I am"

Connor nodded in understanding, placing a hand on the small of her back and guiding her gently to the front door, leaving a slightly stunned Valeria standing behind them.

"I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" he said gently.

"Ok," Haven whispered through tears.

Her breath caught in her throat when Connor leaned forward and pressed a comforting kiss to her forehead.

How was it possible for one boy to cause her so many feelings in one afternoon?

* * *

Closing the front door behind her, Haven dropped the keys on the hall table, before stopping still for a moment. Her body was still humming from the intimate moments she'd shared with Connor, but she didn't feel as peaceful as she wished.

She felt more confused than ever now.

"Haven? Is that you?"

Hearing her mother's call from the kitchen, she walked the remaining length of the hallway. Entering the kitchen, she found JJ sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner.

"I saved you some dinner if you want it. It's in the microwave," she said, gesturing over her shoulder.

"Where are Dad and Henry?"

"They went out with Spence and Morgan. They'll be back later," JJ replied off-handed, flipping through a case file before her as she scooped up a forkful of potato mash.

Sliding into the chair opposite her mom, Haven clasped her hands in front of her. "Can I talk to you about something?"

JJ's eyes immediately snapped up to her daughter, concern setting in straight away.

"Haven, the last time you asked me that, you told me you were pregnant"

Haven nodded, taking a deep breath. "I know. I promise I'm not about to drop a bombshell like that again, I just...I'm really confused about something"

JJ looked at her daughter curiously, before waving for her to continue.

"I had sex with Connor"

JJ rolled her eyes dramatically. "Haven, I know that-"

"No, I mean today," Haven cut in quietly. "When I was at his house"

JJ didn't know what to say. For a moment, she simply stared at her daughter.

"Seriously?" she said finally, dropping her fork onto her plate and pushing it to one side.

"Yeah...and I'm...confused," Haven admitted. "I...I think I still have feelings for him...but I don't know if he feels the same way anymore"

"Oh Haven," JJ sighed. "Things are complicated enough as it is"

"I know," Haven replied, her lower lip trembling. "I just...Valeria came home not long after we...and she said outright that she didn't want me there, and Connor...he stepped in between us and told her what he thought of me...it made me cry"

"Good or bad?" JJ questioned.

"Good," Haven affirmed, wiping away a stray tear from beneath her eye.

JJ sighed heavily, leaning back in her chair and fixing one of her famous looks on her youngest child.

"You need to take a step back and have a serious look at your actions. Because you told me that you and Connor had agreed to not be in a relationship," JJ said firmly.

"I know, I did, but...it's so confusing-"

"You're not going to make it any less confusing by having sex with him. Sex won't tell you whether you two should be together or not. That's a decision that you have to make," JJ cut in.

Haven stayed silent, pondering what her mother had just told her.

"You may only be sixteen, Haven, but you're having a baby. Which means you have to act like an adult. Casual sex-"

"It wasn't just casual sex, Mom...it...it was more than that," Haven said. "It felt...real...and special"

JJ sighed. "Well then, it sounds like you and Connor really need to talk. Soon"


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: I'm on an absolute roll with this. It's like I've been mining and I've suddenly tapped a rich ore vein! I promise I will update other things as soon as possible, I just want to get as much of this done as I can while my motivation is fresh.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

"A girl? Oh, Haven, that's so exciting!"

Haven laughed as Amber threw her arms around her, staggering back slightly before she caught herself.

"It is...I'm starting to feel like I can do this," she admitted once Amber relinquished her hold on her. "Up until now, it's been totally crazy...things are starting to settle"

"How's your dad taking everything now?" Amber asked as they turned towards the front steps and started walking up to the school.

Haven shrugged. "He seems ok. I can tell it's upsetting to him though. He's still trying to come to terms with it all"

"Yeah...I mean, I do understand that. My dad would've _killed_ me," Amber said softly.

Haven raised her eyebrows. "My dad nearly did, remember?"

Pushing open the doors, Haven ignored the few judgemental looks that came her way. She shoved her hands in her pockets, keeping her head down as she and Amber headed for their lockers.

She stayed silent as they reached the lockers, standing stock still beside Amber as the other girl spun her combination into the dial.

"Hey Amber!" a familiar voice called out, making Amber stop momentarily.

"Zachary, what do you want?" Amber teased as she turned around.

"Oh, just the usual sex in the locker room," Zack replied with a huge grin, leaning against the adjacent locker. Haven laughed at his faux cockiness, which in turn only made Zack's grin wider.

"Get real, Zack," Amber replied, hitting his shoulder as a smile spread across her face. "Like I'd ever sleep with you"

Zack grinned. "You love me. Anyway, I was wondering if you two lovely ladies wanted to come to a bit of a...let's just call it a get together that I'm having on Friday night?"

"I'm keen. Haven?" Amber asked.

Haven hesitated for a moment, one hand coming to rest on the swell of her stomach. Looking up at her friends, she shook her head slightly.

"Sorry...I'd better not. Might be too much for this one to handle," she said softly.

Zack nodded in understanding. "No worries. I'm having a movie night the weekend after anyway, just a few friends, no drinks. You're welcome to come along with Amber if you like?"

Haven smiled. "I'll think about it"

"Great!" Zack said happily. "I'll see you guys around. Catch ya"

Watching as he walked off, Haven slowly turned back towards Amber, who was returning to the task of opening her locker.

"I slept with Connor the other day," she said quietly as Amber's locked clicked open.

Amber snapped around to look at Haven, her eyes widening. "What?"

Haven looked directly at Amber. "You heard me"

Slamming her locker shut, Amber grabbed Haven's arm, leading her into a nearby empty classroom. Closing the door behind her, she turned to face Haven.

"Are you serious?"

Haven nodded. "I went over there after my ultrasound to tell him that it's a girl...and we were talking...and then we started kissing. Somehow we got from there to having sex"

"Do you still have feelings for him?"

Haven took a deep breath before nodding again. "I didn't realise until around the time our parents met to talk about the baby. But...I don't know...I don't think he feels the same way"

"I know I gave you shit for sleeping with him before...but you two are a good pair. You're absolutely stunning, Haven, I'm sure Connor feels _something_ for you," Amber replied, stepping towards her.

"You think so?" Haven asked uncertainly.

Amber smiled. "I know so"

* * *

"So, your birthday's next week. Have you thought about what you want to do to celebrate?" JJ asked as she slid into the chair at the end of the table. Will looked up from his case file, looking over towards his daughter.

"Can we just do the usual? Go out for dinner with your team and Amber?" Haven replied, spreading the thick chocolate spread she'd been craving all day over the slices of bread on her plate.

"If that's what you want to do," JJ shrugged.

"Can I invite Connor and Zack too?" Haven asked, grabbing the plate with the bread and a bag of Cheetos before moving over to the table.

"Zack, who's Zack?" JJ asked, perking up immediately at the sound of an unfamiliar name.

"Oh, just the guy I'm sleeping with," Haven replied nonchalantly as she sat down.

The reaction was instantaneous. Her father almost choked on his own tongue, Henry burst out laughing from the next room, and her mother fixed a stern yet terrifying glare on her daughter.

"I'm kidding," Haven said simply, biting back a grin. "He's just a friend from school"

Ignoring Henry's snickers of laughter from the next room, JJ pointed a thin finger at her youngest.

"You don't get to make jokes like that," she said firmly. However, Haven could see the edges of the grin she was fighting so hard to keep under wraps.

"He's honestly just a friend, Mom. He's...one of the only people that hasn't been a complete dick to me since the entire school found out I'm pregnant. He's actually been really nice," Haven explained, opening the bag of Cheetos.

"Ok...well if you want him and Connor to come, that's fine by me," JJ replied, watching curiously as Haven started putting Cheetos on top of the chocolate spread layered on the bread slices. "Haven...what are you doing?"

"Eating," Haven replied, picking up one slice and taking a bite. "Ohhh...that's good"

"Do you want us to give you some privacy?" Will teased, a grin growing on his face.

"What? I'm hungry," Haven replied, taking another bite and savouring the odd combination of flavours.

"That is disgusting," JJ chuckled, shaking her head as she looked back down at the newspaper.

"Hey, you can't talk," Will said, pointing a finger at his wife. "I remember one night when you were pregnant with her, you sent me out at _three am_ for donuts. When I got back, you put pickles on the donuts, covered them in barbecue sauce and crammed them into your mouth like you'd never seen food before"

Haven burst out laughing as JJ stared incredulously at her husband.

"How the hell do you remember that?"

Will grinned. "Because it was so revolting I couldn't look at barbecue sauce for a month without gagging"

Haven snickered, standing up from the table and taking her plate into the other room to join her brother.

"What are you all laughing about?" Henry asked, scooting over so Haven had room to sit down.

"Mom's weird eating habits when she was pregnant with me," Haven said with a giggle. "Barbecue sauce covered pickle donuts"

Henry mimed gagging, making his sister laugh.

"Although," he said, eyeing Haven's plate. "Chocolate covered Cheeto sandwiches don't exactly appeal to me either"

"Shut up, I'm so hungry," Haven scolded, taking a large bite of her concoction as Henry shook his head with a grin.

"You women are weird"


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Nice long one with some good story development. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

It was well into the early hours of the morning, but Haven wasn't sleeping. Instead, she was lying in her bed, curled up on her side with one hand running gentle circles on her rounded belly. She had tried for hours to fall asleep, but there was simply too many thoughts running through her head.

Everything was becoming so real.

"I don't think you can hear me yet, but you're changing my life baby," she said softly. "I don't know what the future holds, whether it's good or bad, but I do know that I'll love you no matter what. It's been so strange lately...Mom and Dad are starting to let go of their disappointment, and now they're just...helping me. And I'm trying to let go of the fact that I'm only sixteen...because I don't care how old I am, I just want to be the best mom I can be for you"

Taking a deep breath, she rolled onto her back, her other hand joining the one already on her bump.

"Everyone's gonna love you...especially Aunt Pen. She's really excitable, especially about babies. And she'll probably spoil you rotten even if Mom tries to stop her. I hope you love her as much as I do. All of Mom's team are like family to us. Uncle Morgan and Uncle Dave won't let anything happen to you. Uncle Morgan looks like a total tough guy, but he's actually just a giant teddy bear. And Uncle Spence...he'll probably teach you to read and write. He's taught me and Henry so many amazing things about the world...I'm sure he'll share them with you as well"

Giggling, she thought of her brother. "Your uncle Henry is a massive meathead...but he's a good brother. He's always looked out for me. He used to stop by the corner shop on his way home from school and buy me my favourite lollipop. Every week. Even when Mom told him to stop"

Settling back into her pillows more comfortably, she smiled. "Mom sounds like the party pooper...but she's not. Mom has always had my best interests at heart, and she's never ever made me think I can't do something. She's been my number one cheerleader all my life. But she always feels guilty for things she shouldn't feel guilty about. I wish she wouldn't do that. Either way, I hope that I can be as good a mom to you as she's always been to me"

Passing by Haven's door on her way back from the kitchen, JJ heard the whispered words from behind the closed door. A lump grew in her throat at Haven's final words, her eyes becoming awfully wet.

Somewhere in all the chaos, her little milagro was growing up.

* * *

Absolute pouring rain was what the next day had welcomed them with. The dark clouds had blown over by sunrise and by the time everyone in the LaMontagne household was up, it was raining cats and dogs.

The doorbell ringing through the house in the early evening had caught them by surprise. They weren't expecting visitors.

"Henry, can you get that?" Will yelled from the kitchen.

Heaving a sigh, Henry pulled himself off the couch and made his way to the front door. Expecting a Jehovah's Witness or door-to-door salesman, he yanked the door open ready to tell them he wasn't interested.

He was shocked to find his grandmother standing on the front porch.

"Hello Henry," she said simply.

Freezing for just a moment, Henry turned his head slightly to yell over his shoulder.

"Mom?"

"Henry, if it's a salesman, we're not interested," JJ sighed, walking down the hallway towards her son. "Seriously, I've been telling you that since you were thirteen"

It was as she got closer that she finally saw around the door, and saw her mother standing on the porch.

"Mom?" she asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Are you going to ask me in or leave me standing on the porch in the rain?" Sandy asked irritably.

Henry and JJ both stepped aside, allowing Sandy into the house. Henry immediately took his grandmother's suitcase, carrying it without a word to the guest bedroom. That left JJ and Sandy standing awkwardly in the front entry, neither of them quite sure what to say to each other.

"I felt like we needed to talk about what happened over the phone...and I figured you probably wouldn't answer my calls. Since it's Haven's birthday, I thought I would come to you instead," Sandy stated simply.

"Mom...," JJ started uncertainly. "I know...I know you're upset about everything that's going on with Haven...but please remember that she's our daughter. Will and I...we're handling it. And it's not her getting back at me for being away for work. She knows I have to work. She understands this. Her pregnancy was purely an accident. She's trying to be mature about this, and so far, she has been. We've let her make the decisions and she knows full well what every consequence of every decision will be"

Sandy heaved a sigh, looking up at her daughter with tired eyes. "It's upsetting...but I'm sure you know that"

JJ nodded.

"I know I jumped to the conclusion that Haven had been irresponsible...but if you and Will are supporting her...who am I to undermine that?" Sandy said quietly. "And...everything I said on the phone...I wanted to apologise for it. Blaming you was wrong"

"Thank you," JJ said softly.

Stepping up, Sandy wrapped her arms around her daughter, giving her a comforting squeeze of apology. "I'll try to be more understanding"

"Mom! Are we going soon?" Haven called out from the top of the stairs.

"Yeah, are you ready?" JJ called back, pulling away from her mother's embrace.

"I've been ready for ages," Haven sighed, her voice carrying away as she walked back to her room.

"Where are you going?" Sandy asked.

"Out for dinner for her birthday...you can come if you like," JJ replied, leading her mom through to the kitchen, where Will was putting on his watch, and Henry was running his fingers through his ever messy hair.

"I'd like that," Sandy affirmed with a small smile.

"But you need to apologise to Haven first. For that phone call," JJ said firmly. "It really shook her up"

Sandy nodded. "I know"

At that moment, Haven came into the room, running her fingers through her hair. Upon seeing her grandma, she froze.

"Gran"

"Hi Haven," Sandy said softly, moving slowly towards her granddaughter. She glanced down to Haven's other hand, which was resting lightly on the barely visible curve of her stomach.

Looking back up to Haven's eyes, she smiled slightly. "I'm really sorry...about that phone call. Accidents happen, I do know that. I'm sorry if I upset you"

Haven smiled, stepping forward and hugging her grandma.

"It's ok. I was more upset that you and Mom were fighting...kind of felt like it was my fault," she admitted as Sandy wrapped her arms around her and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"It wasn't your fault, Haven," JJ said softly from across the room. "Don't blame yourself"

When Haven and Sandy broke apart, some of the tension in the room lifted. Everyone could tell it was still going to be tense between JJ and Sandy, but at least it was a start.

"Alright...let's go. Don't wanna be late to our own party"

* * *

There were so many of them for dinner that they'd been put in one of the function rooms towards the back of the restaurant. That had worked perfectly for JJ, who was about to put a little plan in place, and preferred not to have the whole restaurant overhear.

Tapping her champagne glass, she smiled around at their friends and family as their chatter died down and their attention turned to her.

Rising from her chair, she set her champagne down, smoothing her shirt slightly as she straightened up.

"I just wanted to thank everyone for coming to help us celebrate Haven's seventeenth birthday. I know we celebrate just about every birthday together, but I still wanted you all to know how much we appreciate you all coming"

Looking over at Haven, JJ cracked a smile. "So...the situation in which Haven finds herself today isn't exactly where Will and I imagined she would be on her seventeenth, but nonetheless, she's handling it all brilliantly and I honestly couldn't be more proud of her...Haven, everyone here has watched you grow into the beautiful young woman you are today, and we all love you so much. Happy birthday sweetheart"

As her family applauded JJ's little toast around her, Haven got up from her seat, walking straight into her mother's arms and hugging her tightly.

"Thank you," she breathed through threatening tears.

Kissing Haven's temple, JJ pulled away, smiling as Will pulled Haven into a loving embrace.

"I love you sweetheart," he murmured, kissing her cheek before breaking the hug. Haven could only smile, wiping beneath her eyes with the tip of her finger.

Getting one last hug from Henry, Haven made her way back to her seat between Connor and Amber. What was already a really good night only improved when Connor took her hand beneath the table and locked their fingers together.

Biting her lip as she smiled, she gave his hand a gentle squeeze, praying no-one had noticed the change in her demeanour.

Around them, the conversations carried on, but for that moment, the world was only theirs.

* * *

As she was following her family back to their car, someone grabbed Haven's hand, tugging her back towards them.

Spinning around, she found Connor behind her, his handsome smile gracing his face.

"Did you have fun?" he asked, sliding an arm around her lower back to hold her close.

"I did...and thank you for the bracelet. You know you didn't have to get me anything," Haven replied with a smile, glancing down to the pretty bracelet on her wrist.

"Yes I did, it's your birthday," Connor said with a laugh. "So...happy birthday"

"Thank you," Haven replied, her voice barely above a whisper. The gap between her and Connor had gotten noticeably smaller.

Tipping her chin up, she met him halfway in a gentle kiss, tingles running through her entire body as their lips met.

It was only a brief kiss, but it was enough. As they pulled apart, Haven stay close to him, wanting to savor the little private moment they were sharing for just a little longer.

"We have to talk about this," Haven whispered, looking at Connor's chest.

"I know...what if I pick you up at eleven tomorrow? We can go somewhere and...talk, I guess," Connor suggested.

Haven nodded, stretching up to hug him briefly before pulling away to follow her family.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said softly, smiling over her shoulder before following her family over to the car.

She hoped the next day would end with the outcome she wanted.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: So sorry this took so bloody long, I've had an insane start to the semester!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters and affiliates.**

* * *

Jeers of laughter. Muttered insults.

Henry wondered why his friends always insisted that they continue to play basketball on that particular court, when there was always that other group of guys. A group of guys they had gone to school with, and Henry had never liked. Not one tiny bit.

When they had arrived to play their own game, Henry had noticed they all seemed more animated than usual. He had found himself watching them curiously, wondering what they were up to.

"Henry!"

The cry came seconds before the ball bounced off his head, knocking him off balance. Taking a few steps to steady himself, Henry looked up at his friends, a dopey grin on his face as he rubbed his head.

"Sorry," he chuckled. His mates laughed.

"Daydreaming a bit? About Lily and her wonderful legs?" Declan teased.

"Shove off," Henry replied, punching Declan's shoulder lightly. The other guys laughed; teasing each other about their girlfriends was a regular occurrence.

"I know what I'm dreaming about!" someone yelled from the other court.

Turning around, Henry found Chris, the pseudo 'leader' of the other guys, walking towards them.

"What would that be, Chris?" Henry asked coolly, drawing himself up to his full height.

"Being the one that got your sister pregnant...that is one fine piece of ass-"

Before he could finish, Henry had swung a hard punch square into Chris' face, knocking the other man off his feet. Without even hesitating, he dragged Chris up off the ground, ignoring the yells of the other guys as he slammed him into the nearby brick wall.

"Don't you _dare_ talk about my sister like that!" he growled, his hands wrapping around the base of Chris' neck. "You fucking disrespectful pig!"

Two sets of hands grabbed Henry from behind, dragging him away from Chris and holding him tightly until he stopped fighting.

"What if someone talked about your sister like that?" Henry spat.

Chris shrugged. "They wouldn't dare"

"Well, don't you dare-"

"Just leave him, Henry, he's not worth it!" Sam exclaimed. "He's just being a dickhead, nothing new"

Henry swatted their hands away, turning and walking away from the commotion.

"I'm going home," he called angrily over his shoulder, grabbing his jacket from the side of the court as he stalked towards the road.

He loathed that guy. Absolutely despised him.

* * *

It had been a slightly awkward silence at first. Neither of them knew how to start what they wanted to say to each other.

But eventually, words fell to them.

"Haven-"

"I know...we said that a relationship between us would never work," Haven said softly, looking up into Connor's eyes. "But..."

Trailing off, she found herself not able to find the words she needed. As she took a deep breath, Connor reached out, taking her hand in his and stroking the back of it with his thumb.

"I still have feelings for you," Haven whispered. "I thought at first...it was just because of this baby...but the more I think about, the more real I realise they are. That day at your house...all I could think of was how I wanted us to be a couple and how I wanted to spend more days than just that one in your arms. I don't know, Connor, it's like...despite all this craziness and all this huge stuff going on, I feel calmer when I'm with you"

Squeezing Haven's hand, Connor reached across the table, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"I still have feelings for you too, Haven. I never stopped. You're so unbelievably gorgeous and I thought I was crazy for just letting us drop the relationship like that," he admitted.

Haven smiled softly. "I think...we jumped too fast into thinking that this would never work purely because we're so young. I mean, I know most people don't have high school relationships that last, but we're having a _baby_. We can make it work, we just have to fight for it a little more"

Connor nodded. "We can. And I want to make it work, Haven, because you're amazing, and I care about you...and I think I'm in love with you"

Haven's heart leapt into her throat as a happy smile crossed her face. A flush of pink covered her cheeks as she looked up at Connor again.

"You don't have to say it if you're not ready or don't feel the same," Connor said quickly, his sweet dopey smile crossing his face. "I just wanted you to know how I feel"

Haven had to smile as they made to rise from the table. Her hand naturally found his the second she was on her feet.

"Thank you," she said softly, leaning into his side as they exited the cafe and headed back down the street to Connor's car.

Connor let go of her hand, lifting his arm around her shoulders as they walked in comfortable silence. It felt so natural, they fit together so perfectly, that Haven allowed herself to fall into her daydream that she had so enjoyed in recent weeks.

A daydream of her and Connor. With their little baby girl. Living in love and happiness.

'One day at a time,' she reminded herself silently, tucking her free hand into her pocket as they reached the crosswalk.

One day at a time.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: I'm on an updating rollllll! **

**If it seems like I'm slightly out of touch with this story, I probably am. Many apologies.**

* * *

"You ready to take our fake IDs and get totally wasted?"

Amber's question was so absurd that both Haven and JJ laughed.

"Yeah, absolutely Ambs. I'll wear the shortest dress I own," Haven replied sarcastically, giggling through her words.

JJ shook her head, grinning at the two girls. "Amber, sometimes you are so lucky I love you like you're my own child, because you are such a loose cannon"

Amber laughed, placing her hand over her heart. "Aw, I love you too JJ. You're like my second mom, who lets me get away with a tiny bit more"

"Like corrupting my child?" JJ teased. Amber laughed, nodding in agreement.

Haven grinned, grabbing Amber's hand and pulling her towards her bedroom. "Come on crazy"

Getting Amber into her room, Haven shut the door behind them and flopped onto the bed. Amber sat down in Haven's beanbag chair, immediately grabbing one of the nearby stuffed toys and playing with its ears.

"So how far along are you now?" she asked, looking up from the toy at where Haven was sprawled across her bed.

"Nearly eighteen weeks. I can't believe it's been nearly two months since I found out," Haven replied.

"How's your dad now, is he ok?"

Haven shrugged. "He seems ok. I'm sure it still gets under his skin a fair bit, but he's trying his hardest to be supportive, and I can't really ask more of him than that"

Amber nodded. "Yeah. You're quite lucky actually, as far as your parents go. Your mom seems pretty cool about it these days"

Sitting up, Haven shook her head. "She is taking it well, but it still stresses her out. She's still kinda disappointed, and I don't really blame her to be honest. I'm seventeen and I'm gonna be a mom in like...four months. It's a big thing for all of us to adjust to"

"You should call the baby Amber the Second"

Haven burst out laughing, one hand going to her stomach automatically.

"Or 'Haven's Demon Spawn'," Amber added, laughing through her words.

"You really are nuts," Haven chuckled, tipping her head down towards her stomach. "You hear that baby? Aunty Amber thinks you're demon spawn"

Amber raised an eyebrow. "Come your due date, it's gonna be like Alien all up in your lady parts"

Haven snorted, leaning back against her cushions as she wrapped her arms around her stomach. "Like I said...you're nuts"

"Just a little," Amber agreed. "You love me though"

Haven laughed.

"Yes, yes I do"

* * *

Amber had left hours before, but Haven was still sitting up in a last ditch attempt to plod through some of her homework. Physics, math, and English were just some of the subjects she had ended up with a backlog of homework for.

As she was flipping through her math book, she heard a light knock at her door. Frowning at her book, she glanced at her watch. It was quarter to one; Henry was the only one usually awake at this hour, but she could hear the faint sounds of his PlayStation warbling through their shared wall.

"Come in," she called, never looking up from her work.

Hearing whoever it was come into the room, she looked up when she heard the click of the door latch behind them.

Realising it was her dad, she slowly closed the books, pushing them to one side. "Dad?"

Will smiled, crossing the room slowly and taking a seat on the edge of Haven's bed. "Hey kiddo"

Glancing at the clock, Haven frowned. "It's nearly one in the morning...you're normally asleep by now"

Will nodded. "I know. So are you. But I noticed you were still awake, and I thought maybe we could have a little chat"

Haven swallowed nervously. She hoped she wasn't about to get another sex talk. That had been awkward enough at age thirteen.

And clearly it hadn't worked very well either.

"About what?"

"Just...everything that's been going on. Your mom told me that you and Connor have decided to try and make a relationship work," Will replied, playing with a loose thread on Haven's bedspread.

Sighing in relief, Haven nodded. "Yeah...we just wanted to try and make it work...there was never really a reason as to why we didn't work"

"Relationships are hard enough work when you're an adult without a child. I think it's a very mature thing you two are doing...I just hope you really are taking it seriously...because you have enough going on. I'd hate to see you end up with a broken heart," Will said softly.

His words touched Haven to the point where her eyes grew bright with tears. Cursing her pregnancy hormones, she swallowed thickly, looking up at her dad.

"We are. We want this to work more than anything"

Will nodded, satisfied with Haven's answer.

"One other thing, sweetheart. I know I've been a bit...silent on the matter at hand. Your mom and I are still in a little bit of shock at the fact that you're pregnant, which I hope you understand"

Haven nodded.

"We may even still be a little disappointed. But overall...we've seen how you've handled everything so far with grace and maturity. You've made some pretty big decisions, and you've thought very carefully about each one. And that makes your mom and I so incredibly proud of you. We might've been very angry when you told us...but we've never stopped loving you, and since that day, you've just made us so proud to call you our daughter"

Choking back a sob, Haven couldn't get a word out. Instead, she shuffled closer to Will, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder.

Will chuckled. "Did I make you cry, kiddo?"

"Yeah," Haven said tearfully. "I love you Dad. Thank you"

Smiling, Will wrapped his arms around his daughter, kissing her temple and holding her close. "I love you too sweetheart. So much"


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hey guys, if you're reading this and not reading Stars Can't Shine Without Darkness, do me a favour and please go and read the Author's Note at the top of Chapter 77 of that story. It explains why I do what I do, why I write what I write, and mostly just gets the word out about a cause I'm passionate about. It would mean a lot to me if everyone who reads this note could go and read that one. It's two minutes of your life, and that two minutes might one day save the lives of many purely through awareness. **

**Awareness = funding = research = cure**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

"Mom?"

At the sound of her daughter's voice, JJ turned around from the bookshelf, where she had been putting a book away. She found Haven standing just inside the room, one hand on her growing bump as she looked down at the floor. There was a hint of pink in her cheeks.

Embarrassment?

"Yeah Haven?" JJ replied, turning around fully and leaning back against the shelf.

Haven bit her lip, looking everywhere in the room but at her mom.

"Is it normal to...want...to have...have sex...when you're pregnant?" she asked quietly, still looking at the floor.

Yep.

Embarrassment.

JJ had to grin. "I don't know, Haven, why do you ask?" she teased.

Haven sighed. "Why do you think?"

JJ laughed, walking over to Haven and putting an arm around her shoulders. "It's very normal, Haven, but I can't say I'd be all that thrilled about just letting you run off to have sex"

"I'm already pregnant, what's the worst that can happen?" Haven asked seriously.

Managing a laugh, JJ led Haven out of the room to the kitchen. "That is true, but I feel like I'd be a terrible mother if I just let you go off and have sex"

Smiling, Haven looped her arms around her mom's torso, hugging her tightly as they stopped in the kitchen entryway. "You're not a terrible mother, Mom"

A silence fell over them as JJ tightened her hold on Haven. Her next words to her daughter were so quiet that even Haven barely heard them.

"I feel like I've failed you"

Shocked, Haven pulled back from the hug, looking at her mom, whose eyes were welling up with tears.

"Mom..."

"It's my job as your mother to educate you...to make sure you know right from wrong, and to teach you about the consequences of things like sex at a young age...and I tried to, but I didn't do it very well...and now you're pregnant. At seventeen," JJ said tearfully.

Taking her mom's hand, Haven guided her over to the table, making her sit down in the seat at the end.

Sitting down in the seat just adjacent to her mom, Haven took JJ's hands in hers, looking at her mom with an expression of concern.

"Mom...you are not a failure. I don't care what you think, this is not on you. This is on me. You did teach me the consequences of sex, you did teach me how to be safe...and even if I got pregnant because of a broken condom, _I'm_ the one that should've been smart enough to talk to you about going on the pill. And I didn't...which isn't because I didn't trust you. It's because I was arrogant, and believed I was grown up enough to handle these things on my own, which I now know isn't true. I do still need you in my life, every day, and I don't think of you as a failure," she said softly. "I think you're the best mom I could ever hope to have"

A sob escaped JJ as she reached out and pulled Haven into a hug, holding her as close as she could physically get her.

"God I love you, Haven," she said tearfully. "You've grown up so much"

Burying her face in her mom's shoulder, Haven took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of her mother's embrace.

"I love you too Mom," she whispered, making JJ hug her tighter.

It was just as her mom tightened her hold on her that Haven felt a flutter in her stomach. Ignoring it at first, she pulled away slightly, smiling at her mom again.

And then she felt it. Harder than a flutter, but not quite a kick.

"Oh my god," she gasped, her hand going to her stomach.

"What?" JJ asked, wiping her eyes with a tissue from the box sitting on the table.

"I think...I think I just felt the baby kick," Haven said incredulously.

JJ's face lit up, any traces of her sadness disappearing with the joyous moment. "Really?"

Haven smiled widely, nodding her head as she rubbed a gentle circle on her belly. "It was kind of fluttery...but it was definitely there"

Watching on as Haven looked down at her belly, JJ leant against the table with a smile crossing her face.

"You happy?" she asked simply, after Haven had spent a few minutes giggling at the little flutters in her stomach.

Haven looked up.

"Yeah," she said softly. "It was all a bit of a big shock...but I'm getting used to the idea now. And feeling her kick...it makes it so...real. Even though I was getting bigger"

JJ smiled, nodding in agreement. "I was the same with both you and Henry. I didn't dare to believe it was real until I felt you guys kick. Henry was a soft kicker. I didn't feel him kick until I was almost 22 weeks. You, on the other hand, fly kicked me in the ribs at 17 weeks"

Haven laughed. "So if the baby is anything like me, I'm going to get kickboxed from the inside out?"

JJ nodded. "I hope so. Payback"

Laughing, she stood up, pulling Haven to her feet. "Come on kiddo. Let's go get some ice-cream before the boys get home"

"Oh yes, ice-cream would be perfect right now," Haven groaned, rubbing her stomach in anticipation.

Grinning, JJ looped her arm through Haven's, grabbing her keys on the way to the door.

"Well let's make sure the baby gets her ice-cream"


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: I lost a few days of writing, but I'm back! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

Hearing a distressed wail coming from the second floor, JJ dropped the knife she'd been using on the kitchen counter as she turned in a hurry. Without a second glance at Will or Henry, she raced out of the kitchen, heading for the stairs.

"Haven?" she called out as she climbed up to the second floor landing. "Haven!"

Haven's bedroom door flew open, and out came her daughter, her jeans clutched in her hand as tears streaked her face.

"Haven, what's wrong?" JJ asked anxiously, moving towards her daughter.

"I'm too fat to wear my jeans," Haven sobbed, holding the jeans out towards her mother. "I'm a whale"

"Oh Haven," JJ said, biting back a grin as she wrapped her arms around Haven. "You're not fat. You're having a baby. You knew this was going to happen, we talked about this"

"But I'm fat!" Haven wailed, burying her face in JJ's shoulder. "I'm fat, and I'm a screw up and I just really want waffles"

JJ had to laugh. "Oh sweetie, no, you're not fat, I promise. And we've been over the screw up thing before, ok? You need to stop thinking that"

"I want waffles," Haven mumbled through tears, making JJ chuckle again.

"I'm sure your dad can make you some waffles, baby girl," she said soothingly, kissing the top of Haven's head and squeezing her once tightly before pulling away. Reaching down, she took the jeans from Haven's hand, tossing them onto the end table sitting in the hall.

"Come on," she coaxed, gently tugging Haven to the stairs. Haven sniffed, wiping her eyes and nose on her sleeve before following her mom down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Someone has a special request for her dad's famous waffles," JJ announced as they walked into the room, where Will and Henry had made themselves comfortable at the table.

Turning around from his breakfast, Will was surprised to find Haven standing there with tears staining her pale cheeks.

"Hey princess, your morning not off to a good start?" he asked gently, reaching over the back of his chair and taking Haven's hand.

Haven shook her head, wiping her eyes. Will smiled as he stood up and gave her a quick hug.

"Wanna help me make the waffles? Waffles A'La Haven?"

Haven managed a grin, nodding before following her dad to the counter.

"Is she ok, Mom?" Henry asked quietly, leaning back to look at his mom.

JJ shrugged.

"Hormones, buddy. Hers are going haywire right now. She'll be fine"

* * *

In a much calmer mood, Haven had made her way over to Connor's in the early afternoon, wanting to spend some time with the guy she could now officially call her boyfriend. She had wanted nothing more than to share with him the unfolding events of her pregnancy, ensuring that he felt as close to their unborn child as she already did.

"You felt the baby kick?" Connor asked incredulously once Haven had finished filling him in. They were both on Connor's bed, laying cuddled up to each other on top of the covers.

Smiling, Haven nodded. "It was...amazing. Like this is finally real. It was so little, like I have a little butterfly inside me"

Connor grinned, pressing a kiss to the tip of Haven's nose. "You do have a little butterfly inside you...our little butterfly. And she's going to be perfect"

Tucking her head beneath Connor's chin, Haven closed her eyes for just a moment. Surely this was too good to be true. She was having a baby, with the full support of her family, the father at her side, and a sense of peace in her heart. Things were finally starting to fall into place as Haven wanted them, and she felt in that moment as though she couldn't be any happier.

"I love you," she whispered, hugging Connor tightly.

Connor smiled, his heart swelling as his eyes lit up. "I love you too Haven. I never stopped loving you"

Without replying, Haven lifted her head from his chest, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. Reciprocating the kiss, Connor deepened it, pulling Haven flush against him as excitement raced through his body.

"Connor," Haven whispered, breaking the kiss. "I know...I know we're together, and we've...clearly had sex before," she started, gesturing at her belly, "but I want to take this slow. I want to get it right"

Connor nodded, placing one hand on Haven's cheek. "Me too. We nearly let this go because we didn't think we were a good fit...and I don't want to screw that up again"

"We won't. As long as we do this properly," Haven said reassuringly, leaning up on her elbows and running her fingers through Connor's wavy brown hair. "Have I ever told you how much I like your hair?"

Connor laughed. "That was the smoothest change of subject ever. But no, you haven't. You can tell me again if you like," he teased.

Haven grinned. "I _really_ love your hair"

Chuckling, Connor kissed Haven's nose, pulling her back into his arms as one hand came to rest on the swell of her stomach.

It still didn't feel real, that he had this beautiful girl to call his girlfriend, and they were having a baby.

As young as he was, Connor knew he couldn't be happier. He was excited to see what the future held.

* * *

Pulling up alongside the basketball court where she knew she would find Henry and his friends, Haven stopped the car and got out. It was nearly six, so she knew Henry would be just about ready to head home and eat.

Walking down the shallow incline towards the courts, her feet crunched through the leaves that lay scattered across the ground. October had arrived everywhere she looked; fall was well and truly upon them.

"Hey Haven, bring that sexy pregnant body over here!"

Scowling at the jeer, Haven stuck her middle finger up at the guy, whom she recognised as Chris Hill. "Fuck you Chris!"

"Every night in my dreams, princess!" Chris called back, turning and laughing with his mates.

Out of the corner of her eye, Haven watched as Henry turned and sprinted straight for Chris, his fists coming up as he advanced. But Chris clearly knew he was coming, for at the last second, he turned around and smashed a tightly clenched fist right into Henry's face.

"Fuck!" Henry exclaimed as he fell back onto the concrete, clutching his nose which was already gushing blood in spectacular fashion.

"That's for last time, asshole," Chris sneered, kicking Henry once in the ribs before walking away as his buddies followed.

Haven immediately ran to her brother, crouching down beside him as he slowly pulled himself up to a sitting position.

"Are you ok?" she asked anxiously, pulling his hands away from his face so she could see the damage. "Oh, Henry!"

"I'b find," Henry said thickly, the blood in his nose rendering him unable to speak clearly. Sam, who had now joined Haven and Henry, lifted his towel from around his neck and handed it to Haven, who pressed it gingerly to Henry's face.

"Ow!" Henry exclaimed, swatting Haven's hands away. "Do you mind?"

"Stop it," Haven scolded, pressing the towel to his face again. "Come on, I'm taking you home"

* * *

They had found the house empty upon arriving home, discovering a note from JJ and Will stating that they would be out late.

After forcing Henry to sit at the kitchen table, Haven gathered up some clean gauze and antiseptic lotion, as well as a damp cloth and a bowl of warm water. Setting it all down on the table, she pulled a chair up in front of Henry and sat down.

Without any words, she gently dabbed at the dried blood on Henry's face, being careful not to apply too much pressure. She worked quickly but carefully, eventually having him mostly cleaned of the blood, which had long since stopped flowing from his nose.

Tipping some antiseptic onto a piece of gauze, she gently swabbed the cut at the side of his nose, making him wince. Haven raised her eyebrow.

"You're twenty three, can you man up a little?"

"It hurts, ok? You're not the one who just got punched in the face," Henry muttered.

Haven shook her head, biting back a grin as she wiped his face once more. "There you go, you big baby"

Getting up from the table, she carried the cloth and the bowl over to the sink to rinse them out.

"You're gonna be a good mom, Haven"

Henry's voice was soft, but it made Haven turn around.

"You think so?" she asked in a small voice.

Henry nodded, rising from his seat and moving slowly towards his sister. "You have this natural instinct...I mean, look at us now. I'm the big brother, I'm supposed to protect you, yet you're the one looking after me"

"That's because you're an idiot who starts fights with people," Haven said dryly.

Henry's eyes narrowed. "No-one is allowed to talk to you the way Chris does, Haven, it's not right"

Haven rolled her eyes. "Henry, his sister Lauren is dating Ryan Turner, and they're both as awful as he is. It's nothing new. I can look out for myself when it comes to Chris and his goon squad. He would never actually physically hurt me, and I know he's just talking big when he says things like that. He's an idiot, and I can handle him. I just don't like seeing you putting yourself in harm's way because of me"

"Because I'm supposed to look out for you!" Henry exclaimed. "It's like...my job, as your brother. As your _older_ brother"

Haven grinned. "It makes you feel tougher when you look out for me, doesn't it?"

Henry laughed. "Maybe it does, but I do actually want to protect you, you know? You're my sister, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Especially now that you're having a baby"

Smiling, Haven stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Henry's midsection and hugging him tightly.

"And I meant what I said, Haven," Henry said softly.

"What's that?" Haven asked, lifting her head to look at her brother.

"You're gonna be an amazing mom"


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Here's another chapter! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

A loud crash shattered the peaceful silence of the afternoon, effectively signalling to JJ and Will that Haven and Henry were home.

"NEED TO PEE!" came Haven's shriek as her bag flew into the lounge room with a thud.

JJ laughed as they listened to Haven sprinting up the stairs. A loud slam resonated through the house as the upstairs bathroom door was hastily closed.

Henry came into the room, grinning as he rubbed his upper arm. "She like... tackled me up the front path to make it to the bathroom"

Patting Henry's shoulder, JJ grinned. "She's like five two, Henry, you need to stand your ground a little better"

Will snorted. "You do not get in the way of a pregnant woman who needs the bathroom, son. Your mother actually knocked me over once, and I sprained my wrist. I'm pretty sure it was when she was pregnant with you"

"I knocked you over because you stood in my way to make fun of me and I told you if you didn't move, I would have to use force. I kept my promise," JJ added. "I love how you always leave that part of the story out"

"Honey, I don't tell the story at all most times because getting knocked down by my five foot five pregnant girlfriend is not exactly something that makes me look incredibly macho," Will replied, , raising an eyebrow at his wife.

Henry laughed at his parents' bickering, shaking his head as the toilet flushed upstairs.

"It's hard for you to look macho at any time, but it's ok, because I love you," JJ teased.

"Hey!" Will shot back, looking completely shocked as he sat back in his chair. JJ laughed, walking around and leaning down, draping her arms over his shoulders.

"Just kidding. You know I love you," she chuckled, kissing his cheek.

"I love you too JJ, but you are a pain in the ass sometimes," Will grumbled, a smile creeping onto his face as he tipped his head back to look at her. JJ grinned, kissing his lips as Henry groaned.

"Do I need to leave the room?" he said loudly, inching back towards the door. "You know, give you guys some privacy or something?"

"Grow up," JJ muttered as the kiss broke, making Will snicker. Haven chose to re-enter the room at that moment, looking far more relaxed than Henry had noted earlier.

JJ turned, studying Haven for a moment as she clearly tried to fight back a grin.

"Bit urgent was it?" she teased.

"Is it too early to wonder if the baby is using my bladder as a seat, because that's what it felt like," Haven replied.

JJ and Henry both burst out laughing simultaneously, while Will just rolled his eyes and chuckled at his daughter.

"They get into just the right spot every time," JJ finally replied once she'd stopped laughing. "It's worse when they start kicking your bladder. Remember I said you were a ferocious kicker? Well, Henry was the one who socked me in the bladder and made me wet myself"

The reaction was instantaneous. Henry's jaw dropped. Haven and Will both started laughing uncontrollably as Haven sank into a kitchen chair.

"I remember that!" Will gasped through his laughter. "We'd just got home from one of Rossi's parties-"

"Yeah, and you laughed at me for like five hours!" JJ shot back.

"I have no recollection of this and therefore cannot be held accountable! Not born, can't scorn!" Henry called out, holding his hands up in the air.

"That might have also been the same night I had multiple shoes thrown at my head," Will muttered, which only made Haven laugh harder.

"Oh my god, you guys, please stop," Haven gasped, clutching her stomach. "I'll pee myself"

Henry snorted, finally turning and leaving the room as JJ took the seat across from Haven.

"Oh wow," she sighed, grinning across at her daughter. Haven grinned back, pulling her legs up and crossing them on the chair.

"You guys are all nuts," she giggled.

"Well then, so are you," JJ teased. Haven laughed.

"If you say so"

* * *

_Someone was yelling from the darkness...she needed to reach them, or she would die. She had to._

_Leering faces and snarling teeth flashed from behind thickened tree trunks as she quickened her pace. She had to find her mom. Where was she?_

_A shout from behind her made her turn suddenly. And there, on the ground, was the lifeless form of her mother. Pale and bleeding, broken like a doll. Her eyes closed, never to open again._

With a bloodcurdling scream, Haven shot up in her bed her hand flying to her chest as she gasped for breath. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage as she kicked the linens away from her sweaty body.

"Haven?"

Looking up, Haven saw Henry standing in her open doorway.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly, taking a step into the room.

"Yeah," Haven breathed, forcing herself to take deep breaths and calm down. "Just... a bad dream"

"About what?" Henry asked gently, closing Haven's door and moving across the room to her bed.

"I was...in this weird place. Like a dark forest. And these things kept jumping out at me. And then I turned around and Mom was dead," Haven said tearfully, running a hand through her hair.

Sitting down beside Haven, Henry wrapped her in a comforting hug.

"If this is what the next four months are going to be like, you can move out," Haven muttered to her stomach. Henry laughed.

"I don't think it's that easy, Haven," he said gently.

"Can you stay here Henry?" Haven asked in a small voice.

Henry nodded, giving Haven a gentle squeeze. "Of course I can"

Taking a deep breath, Haven pulled the covers back, allowing both of them to slide underneath. As she got resettled on her usual side, with Henry fluffing up the pillow on the other side, she placed one hand on her belly, rubbing slow, gentle circles as she rolled onto her back.

"How's Lily?" she asked quietly.

"Good," Henry replied. "She loves her new job at the cake store, but she's still looking for something with a bit more... longevity, I guess. Something that she knows will safeguard a stable future"

"If she keeps decorating cakes the way I've seen on Facebook, she's got nothing to worry about," Haven chuckled.

Henry laughed. "That is true. She's got a talent, that girl"

A comfortable silence fell between them, broken only by the rustle of the sheets. They could hear birds singing in the distance through the window, a gentle breeze pushing Haven's blind in and out away from the glass.

"What would you say if I told you I think I want to marry Lily?"

Henry's question quietly stunned Haven, her jaw dropping as she turned in the darkness to look at her brother.

"Are you serious?" she asked, unable to contain the excitement in her voice.

"Yeah... I mean, not in the near future, but... sometime. Maybe in a couple of years. I don't know. All I do know is that I love her, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her," Henry replied.

Smiling from ear to ear, Haven awkwardly pulled Henry into a tight hug. "That's amazing Henry, I'd be so happy for you"

"Good," Henry chuckled, relief evident in his voice. "We're only young, so there's no rush... but I'm pretty damn sure about what I want. And what I want is to marry Lily"

Haven beamed. "I'd love for Lily to be part of the family. So would Mom and Dad. They already adore her"

"I know, but promise me something? Don't say anything to them. I haven't made any plans yet, so I'll tell them when I know for sure what I'm going to do... I just wanted to tell you"

"I'm glad you did. It's exciting news!"

Henry smiled. "It sure beats telling them I'm pregnant"

Haven laughed.

"I'd be so worried if you had to tell them that"


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: This chapter was going to be longer but I wanted to update before I went to dancing, so I've broken it into two.**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

Haven was exhausted.

A Saturday shopping trip with Penelope Garcia had effectively turned into a whirlwind of baby clothes. She loved her aunt to no end, but she needed more stamina to keep up with her. It felt like they had been into about a hundred stores, and Haven's legs felt like jelly.

"Oh Haven, this is adorable! I wish you would tell me what you're having!" Garcia exclaimed, holding up a too cute outfit for a baby girl that consisted of a white t-shirt and a little pink tutu.

Haven bit back a grin. "Mom made me swear"

Garcia rolled her eyes. "Of course she did. Your mother has absolutely zero faith in me"

Haven laughed. "I think she's a bit more concerned that we might drown in baby clothes before the baby is even born if we tell you"

"I have more self-restraint now than I did when you were born. I might have gone a little overboard when you were born, but that was ok, because you were the little miracle," Garcia replied.

Haven smiled, looking at the little outfit still clutched in her aunt's hand. It really was very cute. And she really did want to buy it. But she couldn't without giving herself away.

"Ok Aunt Pen," she said softly, her smile still on her face. "I'll tell you but you have to _swear_ not to tell Mom. And you're only allowed to buy a couple of things. Then when the baby is born, you can go nuts, because I can't be held responsible"

Garcia laughed. "Ok, deal"

"It's a girl"

Garcia's face lit up as a little squeal of excitement escaped her mouth. Haven giggled, one hand dropping down to the swell of her stomach.

"A girl, Haven, that's exciting! I'm so happy for you! I bet your mom is excited," Garcia gushed.

Haven shrugged. "She's... she's excited, but it's still a little weird for her. Everything is feeling a bit more normal now though"

Garcia nodded. "I understand that. I remember the day your mom told us all you were pregnant. They came in from the jet and your mom looked like she'd been crying. Reid said she'd broken down, let it all catch up to her..."

"Yeah... it was pretty rough for a while. Things are pretty good now," Haven replied.

Smiling, Garcia wrapped her niece in a hug. "I'm so glad. Oh, a girl! A baby girl to spoil!"

Laughing, Haven hugged her back. "Remember your self-restraint Aunt Pen"

"Oh shush you"

* * *

It was the dead of the night when Haven's phone suddenly vibrated loudly on her bedside table, pulling her from her dreams.

Blindly reaching out, she fumbled for the phone in the darkness, still too bleary and tired to register the light emanating from the screen.

Feeling it under her hand, she picked it up and looked at the screen.

Zack?

"What the hell?" she muttered. Why was Zack calling her at quarter to three in the morning?

Accepting the call, she pressed the phone to her ear.

"Zack?"

"_Haven, I need your help"_

Sitting up at the urgency in his voice, Haven threw her covers back. "Zack, where are you? What happened?"

"_I'm at Scott Dale's party with Amber, and I don't know what happened but I think someone drugged Amber, she's really sick"_

"Zack, you need to call 911," Haven said, rising from her bed and reaching for her jacket which she'd left on the floor the night before.

"_I know, and I will, but she keeps telling me to call you, so can you get here? If they tell me to bring her in myself, no-one here can drive"_

"Ok, Zack, hang up now and call 911, I'm on my way," Haven instructed, grabbing her purse as she slipped her feet into her unlaced sneakers.

Zack obliged, hanging up and leaving Haven to her own devices.

Quietly leaving her room, she stood for a moment to make sure everyone was still asleep. When the house remained silent, she made her way down the stairs to the front door. Her mom's car keys were still sitting on the hall table where Haven had seen them last night, and it was a sigh of relief that Haven took them into her hand and slipped out the front door.

Xxx

Pulling up on the verge outside Scott's house, Haven wasn't surprised to see a number of her classmates staggering down towards the side gate, or passed out in the bushes at the front of the house.

Zack was sitting near the driveway, Amber beside him. He was calm and steady, holding Amber's hair back as she threw up profusely into the shrubs lining the driveway.

Leaping out of the car, Haven made a beeline for her friends.

"Oh my god," she exclaimed as she got near them.

"I know. She didn't even drink that much, she had like two cups of punch, but no-one else is this sick. Someone had to have slipped something into her drink," Zack replied.

"Did you call 911?" Haven asked.

Zack nodded. "They said if she's still conscious and throwing up, and we can get her into a car, to take her ourselves, otherwise they would send an ambulance"

"We can take her. Can you go inside and get something for her to puke in? A trash bag, a bucket, anything. If she spews on the seats of my mom's car, my mom will murder me," Haven said. Zack leapt up, leaving Haven with Amber as he went into the house to find what Haven had asked for.

He was back within minutes, clutching a plastic bucket and a handful of trash bags, which he immediately took over to the car and placed on the backseat. Then he rejoined the girls.

"Ok Amber, hold it in for a minute while we get you in the car," Haven said, lifting one of Amber's arms over her shoulders. Zack followed suit with Amber's other arm, and then the two easily lifted her to her feet.

It was no easy task, but they managed to get Amber into the backseat. Once Zack was seated beside Amber, holding the bucket for her, Haven jumped back into the driver's seat. After buckling up, she pulled back onto the road and headed for the nearest hospital.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: I liked this chapter, especially the end!**

**Send prayers my way! NaNo finishes in 4 days, I need to get to 50k and I only just cracked 30k tonight!**

**Disclaimer: As usual.**

* * *

Slumped over in the recliner with her head resting on the edge of Amber's bed, Haven was fast asleep.

She had spent the early hours of the morning pacing around the emergency room of Georgetown University Hospital while Zack slept in a drunken haze on a bank of hard plastic chairs. She had tried to call Amber's parents, only to find that they were either out of town, or very good at sleeping through multiple phone calls. She'd watched, unable to look away, as they had pumped Amber's stomach to try and rid her system of whatever drugs she had ingested.

It was barely dawn, and Amber was finally resting. Haven was deep in dreams, her exhaustion pulling her well away from reality as she stayed watching over her best friend.

"Haven"

The voice was soft and gentle, barely reaching Haven deep in her sleep.

"Haven"

This time, a shake of the shoulder. Haven jolted upright, bleary and disoriented in the light filtering into the room. She turned, expecting to see Zack standing behind her, but instead, finding her mother.

"Mom? What are you doing here? How did you know where I was?" she asked, yawning widely halfway through her sentence.

"I woke up and you were gone. So was my car. So I got Aunt Pen to track your phone. Haven, you scared the hell out of me, when I realised you were at the hospital, I thought something had happened to you or the baby," JJ said anxiously.

"I'm sorry Mom, but Zack called and needed my help," Haven replied apologetically.

"I know, I've already spoken to Zack. Is Amber alright?" JJ asked.

"I think so," Haven said quietly, turning to look back at her friend. "She was so unwell, they had to pump her stomach. The doctors think someone tried to roofie her with a bad batch"

JJ shook her head in disbelief. "What high school kid tries to roofie a classmate?"

Haven scoffed. "You'd be surprised"

Sighing heavily, JJ sank onto the arm of Haven's chair. "I was worried sick about you"

Leaning into her mom's side, Haven nodded knowingly. "I know, and I'm really sorry. I should've left a note or woken you and told you where I was going. Honestly, all I was thinking about was getting to Amber and making sure she was ok"

JJ smiled, running a hand through Haven's hair. "You're a good friend, milagro. Amber is lucky to have a friend like you. Someone who drops everything to help you and never gives up on you"

Haven tipped her head up, a smile on her face. "I know Amber would do the same for me"

JJ raised an eyebrow. "I hope you're not out drinking to the point of hospitalisation"

Haven grinned. "No Mom. I know it's really bad for the baby, and I wouldn't do it anyway"

"Good," JJ said seriously, making Haven laugh.

Her mom was such a worrywart.

* * *

After finding out from a finally conscious Amber that her parents were out of town for another two days, JJ had flashed her FBI badge to get Amber discharged into her care. It had been a long and slow drive back from the hospital, with three stops for Amber to throw up on the side of the road, but eventually they had arrived safely back at the LaMontagne residence.

"I'll try and give your mom a call again, ok Ambs?" JJ said as she helped a shaky Amber over the front threshold.

"Ok. Thanks so much for doing this, JJ. You didn't have to," Amber replied quietly.

"If I hadn't done it, you would've had to be held in the hospital until your parents got home, and I'd rather you were here with us than there by yourself," JJ replied truthfully. "Your mom has gone out of her way for Haven many times. I need to return the favour"

Amber smiled, hugging JJ. "Well, thank you"

JJ grinned. "Not a problem. Now you make yourself comfy on the couch, and Haven will be down in a minute with some of those awful movies you two love so much"

Giggling, Amber moved to the couch, curling up at one end with one of the throw blankets as JJ moved through to the kitchen, where Henry was sitting at the table poring over his laptop.

"Where's your dad?"

Caught by surprise, Henry slammed his laptop closed, making JJ jump before eying him suspiciously.

"Henry? What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," Henry said hurriedly.

"Henry, I don't care if you're twenty three and entitled to whatever, open that laptop now," JJ said firmly, pointing a stern finger at the computer on the table while fixing a famous glare on her son.

Henry knew better than to argue with his mother. Begrudgingly, he opened the laptop again, sitting completely still with his gaze dropped to the floor as the screen flickered back to life.

JJ leaned closer, her eyes scanning the screen before her.

Engagement rings.

But... Henry wouldn't be looking at those unless...

"Oh my god," JJ gasped, her eyes lighting up as she stepped back and covered her mouth with her hand. "You're going to propose to Lily?"

Henry stood up quickly, holding a hand out towards his mother to slow her down. "Yes. I don't know when. Or where. Or... how... but I'm going to. It's more of a long-term thing... I'm proposing because I want to promise to her that no matter what, we're going to be together forever. Whether we get married within a year, or ten years down the track, who knows? I just want to propose because I know that she's the girl for me, she's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with"

Her eyes growing awfully bright, JJ threw her arms around her son. "You're too good to be true, Henry. God I am so proud of you and I love you so much"

Henry chuckled. "I love you too Mom. Promise to keep this a secret for now?"

JJ nodded, stepping away and wiping her eyes.

"Promise"


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Enjoy this new chapter! If it's a bit flat, I wrote 8000 words today, I'm literally scraping the bottom of the pond.**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

"God, my back is _killing _me," Haven groaned, clutching her back as she flopped onto the couch beside her brother.

It felt surreal, but she was already at the day of her 20 week anomaly scan. Scheduled for that afternoon, it was something Haven was eagerly looking forward to; she was excited to confirm that she was definitely having a girl, but also to ensure that both she and her baby were healthy and safe.

"That's what happens when you're pregnant. You're carrying around another person with you," JJ laughed. "My back ached terribly when I was pregnant with Henry. Probably because he made me get forty pounds fatter"

"Forty pounds!" Henry exclaimed in surprise. "How? You're like the size of a telephone pole!"

Haven burst out laughing as JJ grinned.

"I was huge, bud. Like... massive. My entire body hated having you in there," she said, sitting down in the armchair opposite her kids.

"And you're still just as unwanted," Haven teased, jabbing her brother in the ribs.

"Hey!" Henry yelped, pushing her away. "I'm feeling super attacked right now"

"Poor baby," Haven said, sticking her lower lip out and putting on the puppy dog eyes as she looked straight at her brother.

JJ shook her head, chuckling at her crazy kids as she looked at her watch.

"Alright Haven, come on. If we're going to get Connor before the scan, we need to leave now," she said, standing up and walking over to the hall table to grab her keys.

Pulling herself back to her feet, Haven followed her mom out to the car, quietly reeling with excitement at what was to come.

* * *

The scan had gone smoothly, revealing that Haven and Connor were definitely having a baby girl, and that said baby girl was perfect and healthy, with no anomalies present.

JJ had stood back, simply observing with a smile as Haven and Connor stared in wonder at the images of their baby on the screen. They remained intertwined, cuddled together even after the scan was over, laughing and talking excitedly as they were handed the DVD of the images and left the building a few steps behind JJ.

JJ was glad that Haven was showing genuine excitement over being a mom. As hard as it was to believe that her seventeen year old was going to be a mom in four months time, she knew that if Haven was excited, it would make the whole experience a fair bit easier.

Haven's due date had been confirmed as the eighth of September, the week she was meant to begin her senior year. They knew it would take a lot of hard work and juggling, but they were determined to get Haven through to graduation. It had been one of her goals ever since she was a little girl to graduate high school, and JJ wanted her to achieve that on time with her friends and classmates.

As they pulled out of the parking lot and headed for home, JJ felt more content than ever.

* * *

"Mom? Why the hell is my belly twitching?"

Haven's yell made JJ laugh. Walking across the landing to Haven's room, she opened the door to find Haven staring in shock at her ever expanding stomach. She walked in just in time to see Haven's belly twitch again.

Laughing, JJ sat down beside Haven. "She has the hiccups"

Haven looked at her mom in absolute bewilderment. "Babies can get hiccups in the womb?"

Nodding, JJ grinned. "Yep. You used to get them all the time. There was an entire night where I didn't sleep because you hiccupped and shook my belly all night"

Haven laughed. "Sorry"

Settling back on the bed, JJ folded her legs and looked directly at her daughter. "Is there anything you want to ask? Any questions you might have about any part of this?"

Haven sighed. "I don't know... how will I know when she's ready to be born? Like... how do you know when labour starts?"

JJ chuckled. "Trust me babe, you'll know. You usually start having Braxton-Hicks contractions a few weeks before, and then when you progress to labouring, it becomes far more intense"

"I know we talked about delivering before... but what should I expect?" Haven asked.

"Well... it hurts. Regardless of what drugs they give you, you will feel it to some degree. It may just feel like a lot of pressure if you have a fully working epidural, right to the other end of the scale at a lot of agonising pain. It can take anywhere from ten minutes to two hours to deliver a baby, but first time mothers usually take longer than multiples. And this is the bit no-one likes to talk about, but it is actually very common to poo during childbirth," JJ said with a grin.

Haven's jaw dropped. "No way, ew! That's so embarrassing!"

JJ laughed. "You're pushing with all the muscles you have down there, something other than a baby is bound to come out sooner or later"

"Did you?" Haven asked with a mischievous grin.

"While I would normally say that's not exactly an appropriate question, I'll just be honest with you and tell you that I actually have no idea. You can't feel anything, and they clean it up straightaway. You're usually in too much pain or too focused to notice anyway, so don't stress about it. The midwives deliver multiple babies a day, they've seen it all," JJ said reassuringly.

"What happens after the baby is born?"

JJ thought for a minute, smiling as she remembered her first moments with Henry and Haven. They were so long ago... where did the time go?

"They usually put the baby on your stomach while they towel them off. Then while they're cutting the cord, as long as she is healthy and doesn't need urgent medical attention, you get to have a cuddle. Then they take her over to be weighed and examined, which takes a few minutes. They clean her up, put her in a diaper, wrap her up, and give her back to you. Then she stays with you until you're ready to have a rest, at which point they take her to the nursery. And don't be afraid to say you're ready for some sleep... the baby needs you rested and healthy to look after her, and the midwives understand that"

Haven smiled, rubbing her belly with her right hand. "I'm really excited to meet her... I'm really excited to be a mom... I don't care how young I am... I really want this, and I want it to work"

JJ smiled, wrapping Haven in a tight hug. "I know. I want it to work for you too"

Clutching her mom, Haven closed her eyes. "Thank you Mom. For everything you've done. Driving me to all these appointments, listening to all my questions... and most of all... showing me support this whole time even when you've been upset with me"

JJ swallowed back the lump in her throat. "I only do what a mom should do; be there for her kids"

Pulling away, Haven broke into a wide smile. "So with Henry soon to be engaged and me having a baby... it's all happening in this family"

JJ's eyes lit up. "I know. Unconventional, yes... on your part-"

Haven giggled.

"-but exciting nonetheless"


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Here's another chapter. Things are changing in the LaMontagne world!**

**Disclaimer: As usual.**

* * *

"You know, if you could stop waking me up at four in the morning with a hefty kick to the ribs, I promise I won't be a hardass on you when you're older"

Listening in as Haven talked to her unborn child, JJ had to grin. She reminded her so much of herself.

"Oh really? Well I won't actually let you eat Frosted Flakes when you're old enough to eat real food, because you keep roundhousing me in the kidneys"

Sniggering, JJ packed away the last of the coffee mugs, turning back to the table and walking over.

"That is not probable cause to bounce on my bladder like it's a jumpy castle, because even though I hate Barney, I swear I had nothing to do with his death"

Outright laughing as she took her seat, JJ watched Haven in sheer amusement. Haven was in her own little world, and it was providing much entertainment for her mother.

"And we're not going to have any of this nipple biting business are we? Because if we start to have an issue in that department, you are going straight to formula, kid. You know, the formula that the Chinese are desperate enough to sell illegally overseas. It's classy stuff, but you're on the boob first"

Looking up at her mom, Haven grinned when she saw her laughing behind her hands.

"I have one more request, beanie babe. Please try to avoid the hiccups while I'm peeing, or at least hold your breath, because it is a highly uncomfortable experience when you hiccup mid pee"

JJ lost it, throwing her head back as she laughed hysterically at her daughter's final comment.

"Oh my god, Haven, you are a crack up," she chuckled, holding her stomach as she looked back at her daughter. "Having a few mother daughter issues are we?"

Haven grinned. "Just a few teething problems. I'm sure we'll be totally cool by the time she's out of the womb. We better be. Hear me, kid?"

JJ grinned back at her daughter.

"You're a nutter"

* * *

"Hey Mom, can I get your opinion on something?" Henry asked as he walked into the room.

"Sure bud, what's up?" JJ replied, setting her book aside as she made room for Henry to sit down.

Reaching into his pocket as he sat down, Henry pulled out a ring box.

"I bought a ring... to propose to Lily. And I wanted to know what you thought, before I go and do it," he said, opening the box.

In it was a gorgeous diamond bead set ribbon ring. The centre of the ring was shaped like an infinity symbol, representing the love between Henry and Lily, and JJ loved it immediately.

"Oh Henry... it's beautiful," she gushed, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. "You're really going to do this?"

Henry nodded. "I'm really going to do this. I have it all planned out. I'm going to take her out for a really fancy dinner at her favourite restaurant on the riverfront. And then we'll go for a walk along the Potomac, to this little spot we found three years ago. It's under this big rooted tree, and the water has eroded part of the riverbank to make a little overhang. It's quiet, and private, and I don't think many other people know about it. But I'm going to have a picnic blanket set up there with candles, and champagne... and that's where I'll ask her to marry me"

Swallowing thickly, JJ blinked back tears. "Henry... that is so sweet. She's going to love it"

Henry smiled. "Mom, don't cry"

"I can't help it. You're going to be engaged... one day you'll be married with kids. It's nice to see you starting your own life... but I can't say I won't miss having you around the house," JJ said emotionally.

"That's the other thing, Mom... I'm going to be twenty four at the end of the year. Regardless of whether Lily says yes or not... I've found an apartment in Capitol Hill... it's nothing fancy, but... I feel like it's time I got out of your hair," Henry said hesitantly.

That was all it took for JJ to burst into tears, wrapping her arms around her son and holding on tight.

"Henry... you've always been welcome in this house regardless of how old you are. I'm going to miss you so much when you move out, and as much as I wish you could just stay... I know that's not going to be practical for anyone once Haven's little karate chopper arrives," she said with a watery giggle.

Henry laughed, pulling away from the hug. "She was telling you about all that?"

JJ grinned. "She was talking to the baby, basically laying down ground rules for when she's born"

Henry shook his head, chuckling. "My sister's nuts. Ah. But anyway... I wish I could stay too. But I think... I think I need my own space, and if Lily and I are going to be engaged soon, we're going to be looking at our own place. So I've lined up this apartment as an option, and if she says no, that's going to be _my_ apartment"

JJ smiled. "I don't see how she could possibly say no, sweet boy. You've been together for years. You love and respect each other. You haven't gotten her pregnant in six years of being together, which is a small miracle when you look at your sister-"

Henry snickered.

"- not that that affects an engagement, but you've built a strong, healthy relationship. I think you've got a good chance, my boy"

Smiling, Henry reached out for another hug.

"Thanks Mom. For everything. You and Dad have taught me so much, and I'll always be really grateful for everything you've ever done for me"

Squeezing Henry tightly, JJ beamed. "I love you Henry. Always have, always will"

"I love you too Mom"


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Here's another chapter for you :D**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

"I am NOT naming my daughter Miranda"

Will laughed, setting his coffee down on the table as he turned to look over his shoulder. Haven was on the couch, a baby name book propped up against her belly as she talked on the phone to Connor. It was going on two hours now that the two of them had been poring over baby names, and remarks like the one Will had just overheard had become rather common.

"Stacey's out too, Connor, I'm sorry, but you are not picking any winners here," Haven laughed.

"_Well what do you suggest then?"_

"I like Rowan. Or Aisling. They're Celtic names and they're really pretty," Haven suggested.

"_They are pretty, perfectly pretty to be for a child of yours"_

"Are you trying to flirt with me again?" Haven giggled. "Because it didn't work the first time"

"_Can you blame me for trying, you're gorgeous"_

"I'm also huge and having my insides kicked around like a soccer ball, which is really fun and I can guarantee that if you try it, you will enjoy it," Haven said with a laugh.

"_Ok then, whatever you say. You are not huge, by the way. You're just beautiful"_

Haven threw her head back, giggling as she did. "Please Connor, we're trying to get something done and you're not helping"

Will's attention was pulled away from Haven by Henry walking into the room, looking very smartly dressed for his night out with Lily.

"You look extremely well dressed for dinner," he said with a grin.

"I'm taking Lily out somewhere more fancy than usual," Henry said softly as JJ turned around from the sink with a smile on her face.

"Is there an occasion we've forgotten about?" Will joked.

Reaching into his pocket, Henry pulled out the ring box for the ring he had purchased two days earlier and placed it on the table. "I'm hoping there will be"

Staring in shock between the ring and his son, Will gaped up at Henry.

"You're proposing? Tonight?" he asked, rising from his seat. Henry nodded, taking the ring and placing it back in his pocket. He was clearly nervous.

"I'm ready. She's the only girl for me, and I want her to know that," he said softly.

Placing his hands on Henry's shoulders, Will looked right into his son's face.

"Just remember to breathe. It's a big thing you're about to do. You have to make sure this is exactly what you want. And remember there's no harm in waiting a bit longer," he said reassuringly.

Henry nodded. "I know. But I am ready, I want to do this tonight"

JJ set down the dish towel she'd been using on the counter, walking towards Henry and wrapping him a tight comforting hug, the type of hug only a mother could give.

"Bring home good news. We love you," she said warmly, smiling at him as she pulled away.

Henry grinned.

"If I have good news to share, I won't be coming home"

* * *

Dinner had gone smoothly. Beautifully. And now, Henry and Lily were walking hand in hand along the Potomac River, enjoying the beautiful night around them. The streets were thriving with life, lights twinkling as far as the eye could see. The nearby riverside road was pumping with music, alcohol pouring lavishly in the bars they passed along the way.

"This has been... wonderful, Henry. Thank you," Lily said softly, smiling at her boyfriend as they stopped at a particularly pretty point along the river. The water lapped gently at the sand on the shore, helping them block out the noisy sounds of the nearby street.

"There's more," Henry said, shooting her one of his handsome smiles as he pulled her gently down towards the water and turned to the right, where the water had eroded much of the sand and left a little overhang below the nearby tree. Under the overhang was a large picnic blanket, surrounded by candles, with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. It was protected from the view of the road, blocking out much of the noise, and offering them the privacy they needed to enjoy their night together.

"Henry...," Lily breathed. "You did all this?"

Henry nodded as they came to a stop at the edge of the blanket. Turning to face her, he took a deep breath.

"I did. Because... I want you to know how much you mean to me. When I first met you, I was selfish, and a total goof. You made me into a better person, just by being you, and taking a chance on me when you could've done so much better. You're beautiful... and you have the most amazing personality. I love your intelligence, your quick wit, and your incredible smile. I love every minute of every day that we spend together. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know... and that's why I know that you're the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with," he said slowly. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the ring box, dropping down to one knee.

"Lily Rose Harrison... will you make me the happiest man alive... will you marry me?" he asked, opening the box to reveal the diamond ring inside.

Lily gasped, her eyes welling up with tears as she covered her mouth with her hands. She was speechless, and she was about to cry.

"Yes," she managed to whisper, a smile breaking onto her face as Henry rose to his feet and pulled the ring from the box. With a gentle touch, he slid it onto her finger, tucking the box back into his pocket as he pulled Lily close to him.

"I love you," he whispered.

Lily smiled, tears cresting her eyelashes as she cupped Henry's face in her hands.

"I love you too, Henry. So so much," she whispered back, before pulling him into the deepest, most passionate kiss they had ever shared.

* * *

"I'm curious to see what name Haven and Connor pick for the baby," JJ said conversationally as she brushed her hair in front of the bathroom mirror. Will was in the shower beside her, shampooing his own hair with an odd vigour about him.

"Apparently he was throwing around Miranda and Stacey today. Haven shut that down pretty fast," Will laughed.

"She likes the unique names. Irish and Celtic. I think the ones she's liked so far are gorgeous," JJ replied.

"Do you remember picking her name?" Will asked.

"Yeah. We mulled for weeks over what to name her... and I think we had picked out the name... oh, what was it... Phoenix?"'

"That's right"

"And then, she was born, and I looked at her... and I just thought... 'you're my little safe haven'. And right there, I had her name," JJ said, a happy smile drifting across her face as she thought about the moment that they had placed Haven in her arms.

"I remember when you first said it. I didn't even have to think about it. It was just perfect," Will agreed.

"We've had some really good memories with the kids over the years... I can't believe Henry's proposing tonight," JJ said, an excited squeal escaping her lips as Will laughed. "I can't believe my baby boy is so grown up"

"It happens," Will chuckled.

"Guess we'll have more time to ourselves for a little while," JJ mused.

"That's true," Will said, reaching out of the curtain and pulling JJ into the shower. JJ screamed as her clothes became soaked through immediately.

"Will!" she shrieked, hitting his shoulder.

"I thought we could make some more memories... without the kids," Will said huskily, pushing JJ up against the shower wall.

JJ's body hummed immediately at the prospect of love and pleasure with her husband. She said nothing in reply, instead allowing him to lift her up against the wall and kiss her passionately.

It felt like so long since they had had this kind of alone time together, she wasn't going to let it go to waste.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Sorry it took so long, I've had writers block!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

"Where's Haven?"

"With Connor," JJ mumbled, without even opening her eyes.

"You a bit tired after our exciting night?" Will teased, moving his wife's legs so he could take a seat on the couch. "You need to work on your stamina"

"I will hit you," JJ replied sleepily. Will laughed.

"You enjoy your nana nap, I'll just sit here and annoy you," he said, his boyish charm winding its way into his voice.

"I'm not a n-"

JJ stopped short, opening her eyes and sitting upright as Will watched on in surprise. The room fell completely silent as he waited for JJ to speak again. She looked up, looking at him with wide eyes.

He knew that look.

She was scared.

"I am a nana," she breathed, swallowing thickly.

Will didn't say a word, not quite sure what to say, but when JJ burst into tears, he was quick to fold her into his arms.

"Hey," he said soothingly, rubbing her back gently. "Hey, no tears. What's the matter?"

"We're going to be grandparents... our _seventeen year old_ is having a baby... surely that means I screwed up... I just... I can't do this Will," JJ sobbed, burying her face in Will's shirt.

Will let out a silent sigh. Even though JJ had been handling Haven's pregnancy much better than he had, and despite the fact that things had settled and gotten easier over the recent weeks, he had known deep down that JJ was going to crack.

"You didn't do anything wrong, JJ. Look at how close you two are... Haven loves you and trusts you because you're her amazing momma. You've always been there for her and you've made her feel comfortable coming to you when she has problems. That to me shows not a screw up on your part... but an example of being an amazing mom. I know I was angry at her when she told us, but recently I've learned that sometimes these things just happen, and there's nothing you can do about it. Our girl has taken it all in her stride, and honestly, she's reminding me more and more of you every day," he said gently.

"We're too young to be grandparents," JJ mumbled. Will laughed.

"You're fifty four and I'm fifty six... we're not getting any younger, JJ. And you know what? When the little tyke arrives, I would bet my life savings that you are gonna be just as amazing at being a grandmother as you are at being a mom"

JJ stayed silent, cuddled up to Will as she calmed herself once more.

"I've told you thousands of times... don't let this build up. Talk to me. Talk to Spencer. Talk to someone," Will said softly.

"I know... it's stupid of me to keep getting upset over this. We've come so far," JJ mused, lifting her face to look at her husband.

Will shook his head. "It's not stupid. We're still adjusting. I don't think we'll ever stop adjusting. Just don't let it all get trapped, because one day, my girl, you're gonna explode"

JJ smiled weakly, kissing Will's cheek. "I know I tell you this all the time... but I love you so goddamn much"

Will smiled, reciprocating the gesture by pressing a kiss to her lips. "Someone's gotta keep you sane, Jennifer Jareau"

* * *

Having retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge, Haven walked back into Connor's room to find him staring sadly at the floor from his spot on the edge of his bed.

"Hey," she said softly, setting the water down on his dresser. "Why the long face?"

Connor shrugged. "Don't know"

Haven frowned. Connor had been distant at best in recent times, although she hadn't truly noticed it until the last couple of days. She had put it down to their end of year results being released soon; Connor always looked stressed whenever results were due.

But a niggling feeling in her stomach told her this was something bigger than school.

"Hey," she said again, sitting down beside him. "What's going on with you?"

Connor shrugged again. "Just... a lot going on, I guess"

Haven smiled, squeezing Connor's hand. "I know, but you haven't been yourself lately. I'm just making sure you're alright, you know? You can talk to me if there's something going on"

Connor nodded, sighing and finally relaxing his face into a soft smile. "I know. It's alright... it's just... my mom, and her usual bullshit... and school... and wondering if I'm going to be a good dad"

Haven smiled, placing one hand on the back of his neck and rubbing it comfortingly. "Connor, you're going to be an amazing dad, I'm sure. Try not to worry so much, ok? We're all learning together"

Managing a small smile, Connor pecked her cheek. "You're the best thing in my life, Haven"

Haven grinned, pulling him in for a proper kiss. "I try my hardest"

* * *

Closing the door behind him as quietly as he could, Henry stopped in the entry way for a moment, leaning back against the door with a grin on his face.

He was engaged.

He was going to marry Lily.

Chuckling to himself, he straightened up, walking towards the sounds of his family talking in the kitchen.

Rounding the corner, he walked into the room with a grin, unable to contain his happiness.

"You're home! I thought you'd eloped and run away, seeing as you've been gone twenty four hours," JJ teased. "How did it go?"

Henry took a deep breath, the smile never leaving his face as he ran a hand through his wavy hair.

"It was... perfect," he said, blushing as his grin widened. "She said yes. I was nervous as hell... but she said yes"

Breaking into a wide smile, JJ leapt up, throwing her arms around her son as Will and Haven also rose from the table. Before long, he was wrapped in a loving hug from his parents and his sister, all of them laughing and loving together.

"I'm proud of you son. It's not an easy thing to do. Especially when they like to play hard to get," Will said with a laugh.

"Shut up William," came JJ's voice from Henry's left, making Haven and Henry laugh.

Pulling apart, they returned to the table, where Henry took the seat beside Haven.

"I was gonna say if it didn't work, get shot in the shoulder and then strapped to a pole and nearly blown up. Instant magnet for, ehm, sobbing women who want you to propose _again_," Will said with a wink. "Works like a charm"

"I was not sobbing, Will, I was a little teary! You nearly died!" JJ replied, whacking Will's shoulder with the newspaper before bursting into fits of laughter, which the others quickly joined.

It felt good to be surrounded by her family. Even if they were about to leave the nest.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: I'm back with more!**

**I'm so pleased to announce that Forever My Girl has been nominated for Best OC Driven in the annual Profiler's Choice Awards! Thank you so much to everyone who nominated, and I hope when the ballot is released, you'll all be there casting your votes!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Haven closed her locker and began walking down the deserted hall of the school, heading for the parking lot. She'd stayed back after school to use the copier to help her finish her assignment for history, and now that she was about to leave, she noticed how dark the sky was getting.

Pushing on the latch bar to open the door, she smiled as a rush of cool evening air hit her. Her baby girl fluttered happily beneath her ribs, making Haven's smile grow wider.

And then someone grabbed the neck of her coat, whirling her around and pushing her up against the adjacent wall. She let out a cry of shock, her bag falling to her feet as she came face to face with Chris.

"Hey gorgeous," he said in a sickeningly sweet voice, running a hand over her bump.

"Get the _fuck_ off of me," Haven spat, trying to shove all her weight against him to throw him off, but he was too heavy.

"Now, now, don't speak to me like that. I kept telling your brother that I'd get my hands on you one day-"

"Yeah, well you can take them right off me you dirty creep!" Haven yelled. She winced as Chris gave her a hard shove so that she was pushed right up into the wall.

"Now you listen here," Chris said, leaning in as though he was about to kiss her.

Jerking her knee up without warning, Haven kneed him hard in the crotch, causing him to collapse to the ground as he groaned in pain. Not giving him a second to think about it, she grabbed her bag and ran for her car, leaping in and locking the doors behind her as she tried to calm her shaking hands enough to get the key in the ignition.

Finally sliding the stick of metal into the slot, she turned it, hearing the engine roar to life as Chris pulled himself shakily to his feet. She made no hesitation about pulling out of the parking lot and driving away from him as fast she dared.

The entire ride was numb to her. It was as she was two blocks away from her house that the shock began to wear off and the emotion began to set in. Tears welled in her eyes as she tightened her grip on the steering wheel and willed herself not to lose it.

She was barely holding it together when she pulled into the driveway a few minutes later. She was shaking from head to toe as she grabbed her bag and got out of the car.

Still in a state of disbelief, she made her way to the front door and pushed it open before her. She could hear the voices of her mom and brother talking in the lounge room. As she closed the door, they stopped abruptly.

"Haven, is that you?"

Finding that she couldn't speak, Haven walked slowly into the lounge room, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as she tried to control her impending emotions.

"Haven? Are you alright?" JJ asked, rising from the couch looking thoroughly concerned.

"Chris...he was waiting for me...in the parking lot," Haven choked out, finally raising her eyes to meet her mom's.

JJ's eyes widened. "Did he...Haven...did he-"

"No," Haven replied, bursting into tears. "He tried to...I don't know...I kicked him in the balls before he could do anything"

Clenching his jaw, Henry leapt up from the couch, storming towards the front door.

"I'm going to fucking kill him," he growled, grabbing his keys out of the dish.

"No, Henry, don't!" JJ yelled as Henry threw open the front door, leaving Haven standing alone in the lounge room as she took off after her son. "Henry, he's not worth getting your ass thrown in jail for, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!"

Hearing the commotion, Will walked into the room, completely confused as to what was going on. Seeing Haven standing in the center of the room with tears running down her pale cheeks, he looked at his daughter worriedly.

"What's wrong milagro?" he asked gently, approaching her with his arms open. Haven said nothing, accepting his embrace and burying her face against his shoulder.

"I'm alright," she whispered truthfully. "Just shaken up"

Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, Will rubbed her back soothingly, holding her in the comforting embrace that she quite clearly needed.

* * *

"Henry, for god's sake, please stop"

Having not been able to stop her son from leaving in his car, JJ had jumped into the passenger seat a the last minute, and had taken to badgering him for the entire ride, but it was to no avail; Henry was so determined to get even with Chris that he had blocked out his mother's pleas.

Pulling up on the verge outside Chris' house, Henry got out of the car without even turning off the ignition, JJ hastily following him just a few steps behind.

Seeing Chris rising from his seat on the front steps, Henry vaulted over the gate, storming up the front path with his jaw set.

"You fucking CREEP!" Henry yelled, swinging his fist back and throwing it into Chris' face with a sickening crunch.

"HENRY!" JJ yelled, hurrying towards them, but jumping back when Chris grabbed Henry by the shoulders and threw him into the ground, somehow managing to hit his face in the process. Before she could register what had happened, Henry had gotten the upper hand, pinning Chris to the ground and shaking him roughly as he got right up in his face.

"You EVER touch my sister again, you even LOOK at her again and you're fucking dead, got it?" he roared, his ferocity frightening JJ, who was trying to pull him off Chris, but it was to no avail; he was twice her width and almost a foot taller.

Surprising JJ and Henry, Chris launched himself upwards, his head contacting Henry's with a dull thwack that made JJ's stomach turn. Henry managed to pull up to his feet, staggering back as JJ threw herself between the men.

"Stop STOP!" she yelled.

And then, Chris suddenly launched at her, willing to get to Henry either way. JJ's instincts kicked in; her gun was out of the holster and held securely in her hands, pointing straight at Chris, who was now backing away with his hands up.

"You lay a hand on me and you'll be charged with assaulting a federal agent, that I'm sure of. As for my daughter, you ever even _breathe_ in her general direction again, I'll have your ass in court and I'll make sure that case is watertight, you hear me?" she said threateningly.

Chris swallowed thickly, nodding numbly. He hadn't noticed the holster on JJ's waist until the gun was already pointing at his chest.

"Right. We're going. If I ever hear of you harassing Haven again, I won't stop Henry from killing you next time," she said firmly, turning and grabbing Henry's shirt. Pushing him towards the gate, she re-holstered her gun, keeping her jaw set as they walked back down to the verge.

"Get in the fucking car," she growled at her son, shaking her head in anger as she climbed into the driver's seat and pulled her seatbelt on.

* * *

Will and Haven were sitting at the kitchen table, mugs of hot chocolate between their hands, when Henry and JJ returned. They perked up at the sound of the car doors closing. What surprised them were the muffled yells that became clear the moment the front door opened.

"You put me in a situation where I had to pull my gun, Henry, I have NEVER in my life had to do that outside of work! What if my reflex had kicked in and I'd shot him! I'd have lost my fucking job!"

"I never a'ked you to 'tep in!"

A dull thwack sounded and Henry yelped in pain.

"I never asked you to go and attempt to kill one of your former classmates, you absolute complete fucking idiot!"

Haven stifled a laugh as Will bit his lip. JJ stormed into the kitchen moments later, her face akin to a thundercloud as she walked straight to the sink and grabbed a washcloth.

"He tried to addault my didter, what wad I 'pode to do?" Henry protested, following in a moment later. Haven audibly gasped at the sight of her brother. As well as his badly bleeding nose, which was now all down the front of his shirt, he was sporting an impressive black eye, a split lip, and a large egg on his forehead that was already turning purple.

"Sit down," JJ said angrily, squeezing out the washcloth and carrying it over to her son. "I didn't raise you to behave like a barbarian"

"You rai'bed me to look after Haven and I've been daying for age'd that Chrid id bad newd"

Saying nothing, JJ continued cleaning the blood off her son's face. When he was looking a little less ragged, she handed him the cloth and moved to take the seat beside Will.

"I bet Lily's gonna think you look extra hot now. That egg on your head is particularly delicious. Mm mm," Haven teased. Will sniggered.

"Oh ha ha," Henry said dryly, his voice sounding more normal now that the blood had cleared from his nose.

"You act like that again, Henry, and I swear to god...you'll wish _you_ were killed," JJ said darkly.

"Yeah, well, Chris isn't gonna try anything again. That was genuine fear on his face when you pulled your gun on him and threatened to take his ass to court," Henry snickered.

Haven's eyes widened. "You did _what_, Mom?"

JJ bit back a grin. "What? He was about to hit me, and my gun was still on my hip"

Haven and Will looked at each other, bursting out laughing the minute they made eye contact.

"You're scary," Henry said, folding the washcloth and placing it on the edge of the table. "Especially when you told me to 'get in the fucking car'"

Haven giggled, sipping her hot chocolate in between laughs.

JJ shrugged, turning her attention to Haven. "Are you ok, milagro? You looked really bad when you came home"

Haven nodded. "I'm ok. I was just shaken up. Trust me, his face isn't the only part of him that's black and blue now. I kicked him pretty hard"

"That's my girl," Will said, lifting his hand to high-five Haven, who laughed and accepted the gesture.

JJ shook her head, a grin breaking onto her face. She started to laugh.

It was all she could do.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Hey guys! I was going to go to bed early tonight and look, it's past midnight, well done. Anyways, Forever My Girl HAS been nominated for Best OC Driven in the 2015 Profiler's Choice Awards, and it would mean the WORLD if you could go and cast your vote for it! And maybe also for my story SCSWD? You all know by now how much that story means to me!**

**Enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

"I don't like my curtains"

Frowning, JJ turned slowly to find a very bewildered Haven standing behind her chair.

"You...don't like your curtains?" she repeated slowly.

Haven burst into tears.

"No," she sobbed. "They don't match"

JJ stifled a laugh as Henry swiftly grabbed his lunch from the table and exited the room as quickly as possible. With Haven approaching the six month mark of her pregnancy, the hormones were running rampant, and her mood swings were becoming stranger and stranger.

"So...what should we do about that?" she asked carefully.

"I don't know!" Haven said exasperatedly, throwing her hands up in the air. "That's what I came to ask _you_!"

With a sniff, Haven walked over to the cupboards, opening them as she searched for something to eat.

Biting back laughter, JJ tried to fight the urge to make the joke that she knew wouldn't go over well with Haven, but it was too good an opportunity to pass up.

"You won't find new curtains in there"

Haven turned, slamming the cupboard door as JJ leapt up from her chair and ran in Henry's footsteps towards the stairs. Henry was sitting at the top of the stairs, snorting into his sandwich as Will pushed past them both. Haven had started crying again, and mutters of 'stupid curtains' could be heard floating from the kitchen.

"You're both horrible people," he chuckled.

"I went through it twice, I'm allowed to poke a little fun," JJ laughed. "She'll be fine"

Will shook his head, grinning as he headed for the kitchen to try and comfort his daughter.

"Is this what I have to look forward to if Lily and I ever have kids?" Henry asked. JJ grinned, turning to face her son.

"It's not as bad for some people but you should be prepared anyway," she chuckled, climbing up to sit on the step below Henry. "Is that something you guys have talked about? Having kids?"

Henry shrugged, setting his plate to one side and resting on his knees. "Kind of. Only really since Haven got pregnant. We know we want kids...but we're not in any rush. We'll get married first and see where life takes us from there"

JJ smiled. "You and Lily are going to make wonderful parents one day, but please...I can only handle one grandchild at a time. Glove up"

Henry groaned. "Oh my god, Mom, please. You are so embarrassing"

JJ laughed. "That's my job, Henry, to embarrass the living hell out of you and your sister"

Henry shook his head, grinning down at his mom. "You do a good job of it some days. Other days...you just embarrass yourself"

JJ looked at him in mock astonishment as he laughed.

"But just so you know, I wouldn't have anyone else as mother. Life would certainly be dull without you around," he said sweetly as he got up from the stairs.

Touched, JJ watched as he walked away to put his plate back in the kitchen. She had always felt very blessed to be given the kids she had, and with each day that passed, that feeling only grew stronger.

* * *

"These last couple of months have been pretty stressful, hey?"

Will's words were soft in the quiet of their backyard, interrupted only by the hoot of an owl somewhere in the distance.

"Stressful is an understatement," JJ replied quietly, settling back in Will's arms as a cool breeze blew around them. "But somehow...I wouldn't change any of it"

"You wouldn't?" Will asked, slightly surprised.

JJ shook her head. "No...I mean...I know Haven's pregnant at seventeen and that's not what any parents want for their child, but...look at how much we've grown. Look at how close this family has become. Henry and Haven open up more to us each and every day...Henry's always looking out for Haven...and Haven is turning into one of the kindest, most level headed young women I've ever known. And I'm so proud of her. Of all of us. For the way we've handled this potentially disastrous situation"

Will smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of JJ's head. "You're right, we've all learnt a lot since we found out Haven was pregnant. We've all grown and adjusted. And I think we're all learning not to keep everything bottled up. I mean, that little meltdown you had over becoming a grandparent? You wouldn't have done that a year ago. It's opening us all up from the inside and I think that's a really good thing"

Sitting up, JJ turned around and pressed a kiss to Will's lips. It was soft, yet passionate, and neither of them wanted the contact to end.

"I love you Jennifer Jareau," Will whispered as they broke apart.

JJ looped her arms around his neck, beaming at him in the soft moonlight.

"I love you too William LaMontagne"

* * *

_**You there? – Connor**_

Hearing her phone buzz, Haven sat up, reaching for the glowing device on her bedside table. Her eyes scanned Connor's message, and she quickly opened the phone to tap out a reply.

_**I'm here. What's up? – Haven**_

She sat, waiting for a reply, but she didn't have to wait long.

_**Just having a crappy night. Bit stressed over all these tests...worrying about you and the baby – Connor**_

Haven smiled, placing a hand against her bump where her daughter was kicking gently at her side.

_**We're fine. Don't you worry about us. And try not to stress about tests...it might feel like it now, but high school isn't the end of the world. I learnt that lesson from Henry – Haven**_

Snuggling under her covers, she rubbed gentle circles against the spot where she was being kicked.

_**It feels like it is. I don't know Haven, some days feel like they're never going to end – Connor**_

Sighing sadly, Haven tapped out a reply as quickly as she could.

_**Leave the books for tonight and try to get some sleep. Think of how we're going to meet our little girl in just a couple of months. It'll be hard...but she'll be worth every second. Ok? I love you – Haven**_

She was already starting to drift off into her own dreams when her phone beeped once more.

_**I love you too - Connor**_


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: This chapter was a little hard to write so I apologise if it's crap. I have loads of ideas for after the baby is born, it's just getting there that's going to be difficult.**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

"Prom is soon"

Sighing, Haven turned, walking down between the racks of baby clothes as her mom followed with the cart. She feigned interest in a cute little outfit that said '_My mom doesn't want your advice_', pretending she hadn't heard her mother, but before long, JJ was standing beside her.

"Haven? What's the matter?"

Haven shrugged, setting the outfit back on the rack before turning to her mom.

"I don't wanna go," she admitted softly, her eyes remaining on the floor.

"Why not?" JJ asked gently, stepping in closer to Haven as another woman walked down the aisle.

Waiting until the lady had turned at the end of the aisle and disappeared, Haven lifted her face up to meet her mom's eyes.

"Because...there is no way I'm going to look pretty in a prom dress looking like this," she said sadly, gesturing to the swell of her stomach.

"Haven, don't be ridiculous," JJ replied with a sigh.

Haven shook her head, shrugging as she turned back towards the baby clothes. "The only person I want to go with anyway is Connor...and I don't know what's going on with him"

JJ frowned. "What do you mean?"

"He just...seems a bit distant. I think he's a bit overwhelmed...but I don't know what to do," Haven admitted. "I'm worried about him"

"Maybe you should go over there this afternoon and talk to him," JJ suggested.

"I don't know," Haven sighed.

"Relationships don't go anywhere if you just leave the problems where they are," JJ said gently, putting an arm around Haven's shoulders. "Talk to him, ok?"

Haven nodded, her fingers lingering on the shirt she'd been looking at before.

"And as for prom...Haven, you're going to look gorgeous no matter what. If you want to go, we will find a dress that works for you, and I promise you will look amazing," JJ said warmly. "Just because you can't wear what you might've worn a year ago, doesn't mean we can't find something just as beautiful"

Smiling weakly, Haven leaned into her mom for a short hug.

"And I'm buying that shirt," JJ murmured. Haven laughed, pulling it from the rack and placing it in her mom's hand.

"Thanks Mom...for everything"

* * *

When Connor opened the door that afternoon, Haven had been surprised by his ragged appearance. He hardly looked well at all. In fact, Haven thought he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. His hair was a far cry from his usual well combed style, and his pale skin only highlighted the dark circles under his eyes.

"Hey," he said tiredly, stepping forward and kissing Haven as a small smile cast a tiny bit of light across his face.

"Hey you. You ok?" Haven asked, keeping her arms looped around his waist as she looked up at him with concern.

Connor shrugged, pulling away and taking Haven's hand as he led her inside.

"Just having a rough week I guess. Stressed about finals results. Not sleeping well," he mumbled.

"I swear you get like this around results every year, Connor, and you _always_ do well. You just need to relax," Haven said gently as they walked through the empty house to Connor's room.

"Yeah...well this year I have some different circumstances," he said quietly.

Haven frowned. "Are you blaming me and this pregnancy?"

Connor looked up, worriedly reaching out for Haven's hands as he sat on the end of his bed. "No, no Haven, I'm not blaming you at all. I'm just saying...this baby has brought a lot of changes into our lives, and it's just adding some extra pressure in areas that were already stressful. I promise I don't blame you or the baby at all... I love you, Haven. You've been just about the only thing keeping me sane"

Looking down, Haven felt her stomach drop when she saw three partially healed cuts lining Connor's left wrist.

"Connor...," she breathed.

Connor chuckled weakly. "It's ok. I was trying to core an apple and I was so tired that the knife kept slipping"

Smiling softly, Haven straddled his lap, looping her arms around his neck. "We're gonna be ok, you know that? You're gonna be ok"

Connor's eyes twinkled as he tipped his face up to kiss Haven.

"I know," he whispered after a gentle kiss, his hands sliding up Haven's back.

Haven pressed her lips to his again, only this time, the resulting kiss was far more passionate than the last. His hands were roaming up the back of her shirt, and every nerve in her body was suddenly begging to be touched.

Connor lay back, pulling Haven over the top of him as the kiss deepened. His hands looped around her bra clasp, making Haven break the kiss and look at him for a moment.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked softly.

Connor nodded. "As long as you are"

Haven's response was a passionate kiss.

* * *

Night was falling and Haven had fallen asleep, curled up against Connor with her head tucked beneath his chin.

Still awake, Connor was running gentle circles on Haven's belly, a little thrill of joy running through him with every tiny kick and flutter he felt beneath her skin.

It was still surreal. That they were really having a baby.

Connor knew times would be tough. He knew that the coming weeks would bring even more stress than he was already facing.

But he loved Haven, and he loved their child already.

Taking a deep breath, he held Haven closer to him, savouring the feeling of her bare skin against his. As he closed his eyes, he reminded himself of all the things in his life that overshadowed the frustration and pain.

One day, it would all be worth it. The day he got to hold his baby girl would make the stress and anxiety completely worth it.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: I'm losing track of what month it is in the story, but I do believe it's about April.**

**Don't forget to go and vote in the Profiler's Choice Awards for 2015! Forever My Girl HAS been nominated for Best OC Driven!**

**Enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

It was getting harder and harder to walk around school every day.

While her bump was not big, it had reached the point where it was starting to show in anything she wore. Even though pretty much the entire school knew she was pregnant, Haven hated the stares and the whispers that came from the clusters of people she passed in the hallways.

Amber was always by her side, ready to jump to her defence if it was needed, but mostly, she was there to keep Haven's spirits up. It had made her late to her own classes several times, but it was a gesture that Haven was immensely thankful for.

The only thing that had made Haven's twenty fourth week of pregnancy more difficult was the fact that Connor hadn't shown up to school for the majority of the week. He had been in class on the Monday to receive the results for some of his tests, but hadn't shown up since then. However, with finals approaching in less than two months, Haven had tried to put the worry out of her mind to focus on her grades.

But as much as she tried, it was always there, always lurking in the back of her mind.

* * *

Walking up to the front door of Connor's house, Haven knocked purposefully on the heavy wooden door, trying to peer through the frosted glass pane to see if anyone was home. Thunder rumbled threateningly overhead, and the sky was darkening with every minute that passed, but all Haven cared about was speaking to Connor.

When no-one answered after nearly two minutes, she knocked again, pulling her phone out of her pocket as she did so.

The house remained still and silent.

Turning back towards the car, Haven dialled Connor's phone number. Pressing it to her ear, she climbed back into the driver's seat of the car, just closing the door as it began to rain.

"Come on Connor... pick up," she muttered as the phone rang repeatedly in her ear.

Before long, his voicemail answered, causing Haven to groan in frustration before dropping her phone on the passenger seat.

"Men," she grumbled, starting the ignition and backing out of the driveway.

Rain pounded on the windshield as she drove home, but all her thoughts were consumed with her boyfriend.

Why was he acting so strangely?

* * *

"We've got a barbecue at Rossi's next weekend, and then the weekend after that, my mom is flying in for a visit... and there's a message on the machine from one of your old buddies asking when you're planning on visiting New Orleans again," JJ rattled off as she scribbled notes down on the calendar by the phone. Haven was finishing up the dishes from dinner, quiet as her parents talked around her.

"I can go down for a week... maybe the week after your mom visits. I'll have a look online at flights later," Will replied.

"Henry might want to go with you, he loves New Orleans," JJ said thoughtfully, pulling the cap off her pen again with her teeth and writing one more note on the calendar. "And Haven, you have your glucose screening test tomorrow afternoon-"

A loud clang sounded from the sink followed by Haven's cry of pain.

"Shit!" she shrieked, clutching her hand and stepping away from the sink. "Ow, ow, ow!"

Dropping the pen, JJ grabbed some paper towel from the top of the microwave, grabbing Haven's hand and pressing it to the deep cut down the side of her pointer finger.

"It's alright, just breathe," she said quickly, seeing how rapidly Haven's face was paling; Haven never did well with deep cuts, and now, during her pregnancy, she was twice as sensitive to everything.

"What did you do, milagro?" Will asked, walking over and placing a supportive hand on Haven's back.

"I was cleaning the knife and it slipped," Haven said shakily. "Mom, I feel dizzy"

"Come and sit down," JJ said gently, guiding Haven to the kitchen table as Will went to grab the first aid kit. "You were on another planet there kiddo"

Haven nodded numbly as she sat down. "Connor's not at school. I went over to his house on my way home to see if he was there, but no-one was home, and he didn't answer his phone"

JJ took a deep breath, keeping pressure on the cut. "He might just need some space, milagro. Some time to think about everything that's going on. You guys are going to be parents in just over fourteen weeks. It seems like a long time, but it's going to go fast, and I bet Connor just needs a bit of time to let that sink in"

Haven thought about her mother's words for a moment, before nodding in reluctant agreement.

"I guess... I just... feel like something's off with him. I wanna make sure he's ok," she said softly.

"I know, sweetie, and it's hard when you don't know what's going on, but just give Connor some time, and I'm sure he'll come around," JJ replied, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Haven's forehead. Will chose that moment to return with the first aid kit, pulling a chair around to sit beside JJ and Haven.

"Alright, milagro, let's get that finger on the mend"

* * *

The rain was still pouring relentlessly as Haven lay awake in her bed in the early hours of the morning. Her baby girl was kicking her every few minutes, but Haven couldn't have fallen asleep if she wanted to.

All her thoughts were on Connor, as much as she wanted them to focus on something else. She knew it was overwhelming, the thought of being a parent in a few short months, but she also couldn't understand his sudden withdrawal. She was also faced with the same overwhelming feeling, and in a way, it got to her more since she was the one who carried their child with her every day.

Sighing, she rolled onto her side, noticing how the change in position immediately settled her little kickboxer.

"I don't know what's going on with your dad, little blossom," she said softly, rubbing comforting circles against the lower part of her belly. "It's all a bit too much for him right now... but he's going to love you. You're going to be the light of his life. And mine. You've made me a better person... and I'm going to work as hard as I can to make sure I give you the best life possible"

Her daughter's response was a tiny butterfly kick against the palm of her hand.

Haven managed a smile, her tired eyes beginning to droop as her body slowly began to settle.

"I love you too, little blossom"


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: So I got absolutely fucking robbed by my insurance company (apologies for the language). My payout for my accident was supposed to be $2000, but get this. My accident happened three days into the start of the new yearly policy. So they took $600 out of my payout to pay for a year's worth of insurance that I am never going to use. As it is, I'm no longer even insured with them. They are thieving scoundrels. I know that's how insurance companies work, but seriously, three days, and they take $600 off of me? It's disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.**

**Rant over. Again, FMG has been nominated for Best OC Driven and honestly, after the SHIT week I have had, it would mean the absolute world to me if you all went and voted. Thanks so much guys, you keep me motivated and inspired.**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

The next time Haven saw Connor, it was almost two weeks later.

And if it was possible, he looked even worse than when she'd seen him last.

She watched in disbelief as he traipsed to his locker, the dark circles under his eyes visible from the opposite end of the hallway. He was so pale, and it looked to Haven as though he was starting to lose weight. Not that he had much to lose.

"Jesus Christ...is that Connor?" Amber gasped as she turned to see what Haven was looking at. "Is he sick?"

"He hasn't been at school for like three weeks, maybe he's got man flu," Zack joked, earning a sharp whack in the chest from Amber. "Ok, ok, just kidding..."

"I don't think he's sick, but something's definitely wrong with him," Haven muttered, passing her bag to Amber before pushing her way through the ever moving crowd to get to her boyfriend.

"Hey," she said softly as she reached him. "You ok? You don't look so crash hot"

Connor shrugged. "I'm fine," he mumbled, tugging the sleeves of his jacket down as he reached into his locker.

"No you're not, Connor, you've been gone for three weeks and you look like-"

"I said I'm FINE!" Connor yelled suddenly, startling the people around them as he slammed his locker and walked off, pushing past Haven as he did so.

Completely dumbfounded, Haven headed slowly over to where Amber and Zack were waiting for her.

"I...don't know," she shrugged, completely defeated as Amber passed her bag back to her. "I just don't know what's going on with him"

* * *

As far as Haven's pregnancy was going, things were moving well. Her glucose screening test had come back with good results, meaning she wasn't at risk for gestational diabetes. JJ had somehow sourced some second-hand baby furniture, including a crib, a changing table, and a little chest to store the baby's things in.

While Haven was finishing her homework at the table one afternoon, JJ came to sit across from her, a bundle of papers in her hands.

"There's some things we need to sort out before the baby is born," she said gently.

"Like what?" Haven asked, lifting her head.

"Well, I think you would benefit from some antenatal classes. We also need to arrange your last few appointments with Kerry, and we also need to start a birth plan," JJ replied.

"A birth plan?" Haven said, clearly confused.

JJ nodded. "A written list of what you would prefer to happen when you're giving birth. What medications you want, if you want interventions to speed things up, whether or not you agree to an episiotomy"

"What is an episiotomy?" Haven questioned.

"It's when they cut you from the bottom of your vagina to your perineum to help the baby get out," JJ explained. Haven squirmed in her seat, grimacing.

"Oh god, no, I definitely don't want that," she groaned.

JJ shook her head. "No-one really does. They tend to only use it if they absolutely have to. They were going to cut me when I had Henry, but I begged them not to, and in three more pushes, Henry was out. They will listen, but if it gets to a point where you're either going to have a severe tear or the baby needs to be out sooner rather than later, they will go ahead and do it"

Haven swallowed thickly. "I'm kind of scared... about giving birth"

Reaching across the table, JJ squeezed Haven's hand. "It is scary milagro... there's no denying it. But you just have to remember that the worst that can happen is you endure a lot of pain for a little while. Whatever pain you feel, whatever they have to do to you to help you along, will all subside within a few days of giving birth. It's a daunting moment, but at the other end, you get to hold your beautiful little girl, and I promise you... that first moment of your baby's life makes it all worth it"

Haven smiled, grateful for her mother's words of comfort.

"Antenatal classes will help too. They'll teach you what to expect and you'll be able to learn some birthing techniques," JJ added.

"No, I don't want to do that," Haven said quickly.

"Why not?" JJ quizzed.

"Because... everyone in that room is going to judge me," Haven said quietly, her voice barely audible as she stared at the floor.

"Ah, but you see here Haven... that's why I booked you into an antenatal class for mothers under the age of twenty," JJ said with a grin. "Most of the girls in the classes I signed you up for are around your age. I'm allowed to come with you if you like"

Haven thought for a moment before nodding at her mom with a small smile. "I'd like that. Thanks Mom"

"How's things with Connor?" JJ asked, sitting back in her chair.

Haven shrugged. "I don't know. He looks really unwell. I asked him if he was ok the other day and he yelled at me. He says it's finals and results and school...but it seems like more than that"

JJ sighed, watching her daughter thoughtfully. "It does sound like more than that... but you can't push him. He'll talk when he's ready. Things probably are just too stressful for him right now, and I can't say I blame him. I'm honestly surprised you're coping as well as you are"

Haven smiled. "Well, I have you. And Dad and Henry. And Amber. You've all been... amazing"

"We've come a long way since you first told us, that's for sure," JJ said with a grin.

Haven chuckled. "I know. You wouldn't believe now that Dad was so furious"

"Did I hear him ask the other day if he could call the baby the parasitical peanut?" JJ asked. Haven burst out laughing, nodding as she leant back in her chair.

"He was just being an idiot, but it was funny," she giggled.

"Your dad is a good man, Haven. Yes, he was mad, but he has a big heart, and the fact that he absolutely adores you very quickly took over the fact that he was angry at you," JJ said warmly.

"Yeah... I'm lucky to have you guys... I don't think Connor has the same support system. I mean, I haven't spoken to him since we...uh-"

JJ rolled her eyes, smirking at her daughter. "Go on," she chuckled.

Haven grinned sheepishly. "Yeah...but...we know what his mom is like, and he doesn't really have a _lot_ of friends at school. So I'm just trying to be there for him as best I can"

JJ smiled, looking proudly over at her daughter. She couldn't believe how much Haven had grown up in the last couple of months, how close she had gotten to her mom. She trusted her with so much, and it warmed JJ's heart to know that.

"You didn't only get your dad's looks my girl. You got his huge heart as well"


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: This one is intense, get the tissues out.**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

The weeks were passing by quicker than ever. Sometimes Haven felt like she'd blinked and lost a few days somewhere.

Having reached week twenty eight, Haven was beginning to really show for her seven months of pregnancy. Her body was changing drastically to accommodate her growing child, and things like sore feet and ankles, and an aching back were making it harder for her to spend every day at school.

The situation with Connor had not improved, as much as Haven had tried. It was starting to feel like a downwards spiral to her, and she was out of ideas as to what to do. She had taken to focusing solely on her schoolwork in an attempt to keep her mind away from the worry.

She could only hope that everything would fall into place by the time their little bundle of joy arrived.

* * *

"So," Lily asked softly as she tucked her head beneath Henry's chin. They were cuddled up on his bed, watching a movie before JJ called them down for dinner. "Are you excited to be an uncle?"

Henry remained silent for a minute, tracing absent circles on the small of Lily's back.

"To be honest... I'd never really thought about it from that angle. I've just always thought about it as my sister having a baby," he admitted, a slow smile spreading across his face. "But now that you mention it... yeah... I am"

Lily lifted her head, smiling at her fiancé as she shifted so she could look at him properly.

"I think you'll be a great uncle. You've been a wonderful big brother to Haven all these years, even more so since she got pregnant... and you adore kids, as much as you like to pretend you're so tough," she giggled.

"I don't just pretend," Henry said seriously, making Lily laugh even more.

"But you know what Henry? Soon, you're going to be an uncle... and one day... I hope you're going to be just as amazing at being a dad," she said happily. Henry's smile grew wider as she stretched up to kiss him, his heart swelling as she did.

One day... he hoped he would be a dad.

* * *

Having decided to have one more crack at talking to Connor, Haven had sat herself on the step outside his house, trying to keep out of the rain that was falling yet again. It was cool for spring, and her baby girl had kicked her quite relentlessly for nearly an hour before she had settled down.

Her mom had been called into a difficult case just moments before she had left herself. The team was off to Baltimore and given the severity of the case, were staying up there until they had the unsub behind bars.

It had been almost two hours of Haven sitting on the stoop and she was starting to feel the cold. She was tired and hungry. She wanted to go home.

Just as she was about to give up, Connor's car pulled into the driveway. She rose to her feet, dusting herself off as Connor got out of the car and walked towards the door.

"What are you doing here?" he asked flatly, stopping just short of the porch.

"I came to talk to you," Haven replied. "Connor, I don't know what's going on, but you're not coping with it, and I'm _here_ for you"

"You're right about one thing, Haven, you don't know what's going on," Connor said sharply. "Can you just go home?"

"No, Connor, I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me. I don't care if you don't tell me what's going on, but don't shut me out like this. I'm your _girlfriend_, and we are having a baby, and this is NOT going to work if you keep pushing me away!" Haven cried.

"Well then you can sit on the porch, because I don't want to talk," Connor said coldly.

"What the hell is going on with you?" Haven exclaimed, tears springing to her eyes. "Connor, I love you, and I want to help you, but you won't let me and it is _killing_ me"

Connor said nothing, choosing instead to push past Haven in an attempt to get inside.

"Connor!" Haven yelled, reaching out and grabbing his wrist. Connor cried out in pain, yanking his hand away as he recoiled towards the door.

Haven stood stock still, staring at her boyfriend as he glared at her from across the porch.

"Connor, what happened to your hand?" she asked softly, fear suddenly running through her entire body.

"Nothing," Connor muttered, dropping his gaze down to the floor.

Moving closer to him, Haven took his hand in hers, noticing how he no longer tried to fight her away. Gingerly, she pushed the sleeve of his jacket up.

Tears filled her eyes as she realised, finally, why Connor had been acting so strangely. His wrist was scarred and bloody; some of the fresh cuts had been reopened when she had grabbed his arms. Scars littered his skin, disappearing beneath the cuff of his jacket and most likely travelling as far up as the crook of his elbow.

"Connor," she breathed through tears, lifting her eyes to meet his.

When she did, Connor broke down, sinking to the floor beneath him and burying his face in the crooks of his arms.

"Why didn't you say something?" Haven asked tearfully, kneeling down in front of him, a task that was made all the more difficult by her ever expanding bump.

"Because no-one gets it," Connor sobbed. "I'm scared, Haven. My mom... she's worse than she's ever been... doesn't want me around you... I have no support, unlike you. Your parents... they've been amazing, and all my mom cares about is what job I'm going to get when I leave school. There's so much pressure... and I just can't do it anymore, Haven, I can't"

Taking Connor's hands, Haven gently tugged them down so she could see his face.

"Your mom doesn't see what an amazing person she raised, Connor. She's going to miss out on all these great things that are going to happen in your life because she's tunnel visioned onto one thing. But you don't have no support. My parents really like you, Connor, and I bet if it got too much to deal with at home, they would happily give you a place to stay. In a few weeks, we're going to be parents, and you're going to have a daughter who loves and adores you, and if your mom is too stuck up to want to be a part of her life, that's going to be her loss, not yours," she said reassuringly. "I love you so much, Connor, and it's killing me to see you hurting so badly"

"No-one understands," Connor cried softly as Haven pulled him into a tight hug. "I'm so scared"

"We'll be ok," Haven whispered tearfully. "I promise you, Connor, together, we're going to be ok"


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: I'm so excited to get to the birth of the baby that I may rush these last few weeks of Haven's pregnancy, I'M SORRY!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

Sleep was something Haven missed dearly.

As well as feeling heavily pregnant and unable to get comfortable now that her belly was quite large, she was also consumed with worry about Connor. What if he was cutting himself again in the dark of the night? Or curled up under the covers in tears because it was all just too much?

She wished her mom was still home. Before leaving Connor's house, Haven had sworn to secrecy, but she knew she would have been able to talk to her mom without giving away who she was talking about. She didn't know what to do.

Sighing, Haven turned onto her other side, wishing the ache in her back would abate for once. She desperately wanted her mom's advice, but she also knew that talking about self-harm and suicide was not something her mom coped with well. She wasn't sure of the exact details, but her mom had told her years earlier that her aunt Rosaline had killed herself at the age of seventeen. Whenever Rosaline was mentioned, her mom started to look sad, and so Haven always tried to avoid the subject.

A sharp kick to her ribs made her grimace. The baby had been turning herself round and round for the last few days, but according to Kerry, it was almost time for her to flip and stay in the birth position, as pretty soon she wasn't going to have enough room to move.

"I need you to settle down," she said softly, running small circles on the hard swell of her belly. "Mommy's trying to sleep"

Mommy.

A little flutter ran through Haven as she realised what she had just called herself. Mommy.

It was strange to think that in a few weeks, she was going to be holding the little person who'd been living inside her for nearly eight months.

Harried footsteps in the hallway broke Haven from her reverie. She lifted her head, wondering what was going on, when her dad burst through the door.

"Haven, you need to get up," he said anxiously, turning on the light and making Haven groan. "Your mother's been hurt in the field"

"What?" Haven asked, getting up as quickly as she could manage. "Is she ok? What happened?"

"Hotch says she got shot... he says she's ok!" he said quickly, seeing the fear on Haven's face. "Find some clothes, we're going to meet them at the hospital in Baltimore"

Swallowing thickly as her dad ran off to find his keys, Haven pulled herself to her feet and quickly changed back into the clothes she'd been wearing the day before.

As she made her way downstairs, tears were burning her eyes.

She really hoped her mom was ok, because she didn't know what she was going to do if she wasn't.

* * *

The drive to the hospital had been difficult. Will had stayed painfully quiet, and Haven was left alone to suck up all the fearful feelings and focus on the only outcome she wanted; for her mom to come home safely. She had also spent much of the drive trying to calm the baby. It felt like she was being kick boxed from the inside out.

She had struggled to keep up with her dad as they navigated through the hospital in search of Hotch and the others. But eventually, they found them, huddled around the coffee machine in the waiting room on the surgical floor.

"How is she?" Will asked as the team turned to face them.

"She's ok. She's resting," Hotch said, his tired face showing nothing but relief and exhaustion. "She was incredibly lucky. The bullet passed just below her vest and it nicked her small intestine, but they were able to repair the damage easily. The doctor said just a centimetre to the left and she probably would have ended up septic in the ICU"

Haven suddenly felt incredibly weak, her legs turning to jelly. Grabbing her dad's arm, she swayed dangerously as both Will and Morgan turned to catch her.

"Woah princess, you alright?" Morgan asked as he wrapped his strong arms around her. "Come and sit down"

Haven swallowed hard as Morgan led her over to the bank of chairs and guided her into a seat. Filling a Styrofoam cup with water from the water machine nearby, he pressed it into her shaking hands.

"You ok?" he asked gently. Haven nodded, taking a sip of the water.

"I'm just worried about Mom," she said softly.

Morgan smiled, taking one of her hands and squeezing it lightly. "Your mom is going to have to take a lot more than a bullet to leave us this soon. She's a badass, Haven, there's no doubt about it"

Haven managed a weak smile. "She is. She went all FBI agent on this guy who was harassing me and scared the shit out of him. I haven't had a problem with him since"

Morgan laughed. "Yeah, that's your mom to a T"

Wincing as she felt a particularly sharp kick to the kidney, Haven's hand flew to her side.

"She giving you a hard time today?" Morgan said with a smile.

"How did you-"

"Did you really think your mom wouldn't tell us she's getting a granddaughter? I don't know how she plays it at home, Haven, but she's actually really excited. Nervous, but excited," Morgan said warmly. "She's always telling us how you're doing"

Haven smiled. Her mom didn't act as excited at home, probably because she was too busy being the level-headed decision maker.

"How about we go and see your mom, and then you can see that I'm not pulling your leg and she really is ok?" Morgan suggested. Haven nodded immediately, dumping the foam cup in the bin as Morgan helped her to her feet and kept a steady arm around her waist in case she had another dizzy spell.

They walked a little way down the hall before Morgan stopped her and pointed at a closed door just in front of them.

"In there," he said gently. "I'll wait out here"

Haven nodded, taking a deep breath as she walked towards the door and pushed it open. As she stepped into the room, it swung shut behind her, leaving her standing in the silent room with only the beep of the monitors filling her ears.

Her mom was lying lifeless on the bed, her skin paler than Haven had ever seen it before. Immediately, Haven felt the tears welling up as the lump in her throat grew.

She knew of the dangers of her mom's job. She had always been well aware of them. But now that JJ had actually been shot, the dangers suddenly became real.

Haven was suddenly very aware of how many times she could have lost her mother.

Choking back her sobs, Haven moved closer to the bed, reaching for her mom's hand.

JJ's eyes fluttered open, foggy with painkillers as Haven closed her hand around her mom's.

"Hey," JJ croaked, clearly in a lot of pain.

"Mom," Haven said tearfully, sinking into the chair beside the bed as her tears threatened to overwhelm her. "I was so worried... I thought you were going to die"

"It's going to take more than a bullet to get me out of your life, my girl," JJ said softly, a grin crossing her tired face. "I'm going to be fine"

Swallowing thickly, Haven nodded, squeezing JJ's hand.

"Where's your dad?" JJ asked.

"He's talking with Hotch. He'll be in in a minute," Haven sniffed.

"What about Henry?"

"He's at Lily's. We'll call him later, Dad didn't want to wake him up if you weren't dying," Haven replied, wiping away a tear.

JJ laughed, and then immediately grimaced, her hand flying to her abdomen. Haven panicked, her face paling as her mom held a hand out to her.

"It's ok... stitches. I shouldn't be laughing," she explained quickly. But Haven couldn't relax, and JJ could see the tension on her face. Reaching up and tucking Haven's hair out of her face, she pushed all the pain from her mind. "It's ok. I'm alright. It's just a little shot"

Haven let out a watery laugh. "Mom, the doctor apparently said that if you had moved even a centimetre before the bullet hit you, your injuries could have been life or death"

"Doctors are melodramatic," JJ said nonchalantly, eliciting another laugh out of Haven. "Really, milagro, I'm going to be ok"

"I'd hug you if I wasn't so huge," Haven sniffed. JJ grinned.

"I was only gone for a week and I swear you've grown more since then," she said.

"I swear this baby is going to come out the size of the Incredible Hulk at this rate," Haven replied, rubbing gentle circles on her rounded belly. "She's kicking like crazy today. I think she knew something had happened to you"

JJ smiled. "She senses your anxiety. You used to do it too. When I had panic attacks during my pregnancy with you, you would kick the living daylights out of my ribs. I think you did it to keep me grounded. It helped, but it hurt"

Haven giggled. "Always a troublemaker"

Smiling up at her daughter, JJ cupped Haven's cheek in her hand.

"I love you, my girl"

Haven smiled, placing her hand over her mom's.

"I love you too"


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: Something weird happened with fanfiction last night, so if you get this alert and go 'hang on, what happened to chapter 40?', I did upload it, and it's there, but no-one received an alert for it. Weird.**

**Oh, I've found a car I like, cross your fingers I get it!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

It was hard watching her mom in so much pain.

Amber had come over the morning JJ was being discharged, both to see how JJ was doing, and to check in with Haven. Haven had been glad for her company while they were waiting for Will to return with JJ.

As they sat at the table with mugs of hot chocolate, Haven was mulling over everything that had happened in recent days. The situation with Connor was eating away at her, and as she sat with Amber, she knew she wanted to talk to someone about it.

Who better than her best friend, someone who knew Connor the way she did, someone she knew would keep the secret with her.

Hearing a car door open and close, Haven got up from her seat as quick as her pregnant figure would allow. Amber followed suit, standing just behind Haven as they stood in the lounge room archway.

"Ok, watch the step," came her uncle Spencer's voice. Haven smiled. Of course he would have wanted to go with Will to bring JJ home.

The door opened, and Spencer was the first one inside. Next came her dad, who along with Hotch, was helping support JJ, who was clearly not enjoying the short walk between the car and the couch. She was wearing her pyjama pants with one of Will's old hoodies, which looked like a dress on her, but at least it was comfortable.

"Ow, ow... stop holding me so tight," JJ grumbled, swatting Will's hand away from her side. "Everything hurts"

"You just had your insides probed a few days ago, so I'm not surprised," Will replied dryly. Keeping a firm hold on JJ's hands, he and Hotch helped her lower herself onto the couch, after which she started to look more relaxed.

"Hi girls," Spencer said warmly, walking over to Haven and Amber.

"Hi Spencer," Amber replied with a smile as Haven wrapped her arms around her godfather.

"Was Mom whinging and complaining at the doctors when you got there?" Haven asked with a giggle.

"I was not," JJ called from the couch.

"Liar," Will mumbled under his breath, making Spencer and Haven laugh.

"How's the little one?" Spencer asked. Haven smiled, placing a hand against her belly.

"She's ok. She's kicking me like mad, I'm pretty much ready to have her out by now," she giggled.

"You know, when your mom was pregnant with Henry, she made me put my hand on her belly to feel him kicking, and it was just the weirdest sensation ever," Spencer told her. "I couldn't believe it doesn't freak you girls out"

Haven shrugged. "It's not like one day you have nothing and the next you get karate chopped in the kidney. It comes on gradually. And it's just a nice reminder that they're still kicking around in there, no pun intended"

Amber snorted, turning and heading back to the table to wash up their mugs.

Putting his arm around his goddaughter, Spencer smiled, squeezing her gently. "We're all very proud of you Haven," he said, before dropping his voice to a whisper. "Especially your mom"

Haven smiled happily, leaning into her godfather's side as her dad made her mom comfortable on the couch.

Everything would be ok. She knew it would.

* * *

"Mom, I can get you more painkillers," Henry offered, looking at his mom anxiously as she grimaced in pain.

JJ shook her head defiantly, shifting slightly to get more comfortable.

"It's alright," she said softly. "I'm just achy...and I have cramps, which the surgeon said was normal. I can handle it"

"Mom," Haven said softly, reaching out and placing her hand on her mom's knee. "You don't have to act all strong and brave. We already know you are, you took a _bullet_ and survived with minor injuries. If it hurts, Mom, please take the painkillers. I don't like seeing you in pain"

JJ looked at her daughter momentarily, before heaving a sigh and nodding. Henry rose from his chair, leaving the room to find the prescribed painkillers, ultimately leaving Haven and JJ alone together.

"You ok?" JJ asked quietly as she studied her daughter closely.

"You're the one who got shot, and you're asking me if I'm ok," Haven said with a laugh. "You're crazy"

JJ grinned. "I have to check you know, you do have a person growing inside of you"

Haven opened her mouth to reply as Amber poked her head into the room.

"Hey Haven, the movie's ready," she said with a smile.

Turning back to her mom, Haven squeezed her hand. "I'll talk to you later. Don't fight Henry on the meds"

Chuckling weakly, JJ nodded as Haven rose from the couch and followed her friend from the room.

* * *

Once they were settled in their usual places in Haven's bedroom, Amber was just about to turn the movie on when Haven reached out and covered Amber's hand.

"I need to talk to you," she said softly.

"Ok?" Amber questioned, setting the DVD remote back down beside her.

Haven took a deep breath, gently caressing her belly as she tried to figure out how to word what she wanted to say.

"I...what I'm about to tell you...you have to swear you won't tell anyone," she started. Amber nodded immediately.

"I went over to Connor's house the other day, to make him talk to me, and...I found out why he's been acting so weird. He...," Haven stammered, trailing off as tears welled up in her eyes. "Ambs, he's been cutting himself"

Amber looked completely dumbfounded as Haven burst into tears. Clambering out of her beanbag chair, she wrapped her arms around Haven, holding her friend close and trying to offer the comfort she so clearly needed.

"Oh Haven...what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Haven sobbed. "He made me swear I wouldn't tell anyone, but I couldn't keep it all to myself, he means too much to me"

"I think you should keep a close eye on him for now," Amber said gently, pulling back from the hug. "Maybe once the baby is born, he might find it a little easier to be happier, but you really need to watch him. If he seems like he's going to do something...drastic...you have to tell someone"

Haven nodded, swallowing heavily as she wiped her eyes. "I know. I'm really scared Amber"

"I know," Amber whispered, pulling Haven back into a hug. "I'm here for you girl. Always have and always will be"


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: I totally lost track of months in my head and realised I had them still at school when they should have been on break. Oops. Please ignore that lapse of judgement, I've had a LOT going on. Luckily for me, I'm picking up my new car tomorrow, and I'm EXCITED. If you have Twitter, go follow me at godofbacon, I'll make sure to post some pics there!**

**Enjoy!**

**Oh and THANK YOU SO MUCH to HotchnerJareau for brainstorming with me on Sunday to get this chapter to you guys so fast! A, you are a GEM and I love you to pieces!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

Summer had well and truly arrived. The heat was stifling as the mercury soared, and with only six weeks to go until her due date, Haven was definitely feeling it.

She had spent most of the recent days in bed resting, which was also the exact same stance JJ was taking. The heat was making JJ's recovery a little slower than she wanted, which ultimately caused a great deal of frustration for her, much to Will's chagrin.

Henry and Lily were spending one afternoon making wedding plans at the kitchen table, while JJ rested on the couch, and Haven in her usual spot upstairs. It was a lazy day on account of the weather, and being the only one without something to occupy himself, Will had taken to pottering around the house doing minor repairs on some of the household appliances that had been in need of a tune-up.

"I want to have it outside, but maybe we should consider somewhere that also has an indoor venue, in case the weather takes a turn," Henry said to Lily as they scrolled through the webpage for a venue they were looking at.

"Ok, but I want it near a lake," Lily replied shortly.

Watching from down the hall, Will chuckled softly as Henry dragged a hand down his face. He obviously had had no idea what he was getting into with wedding planning. It made Will very grateful that he and JJ had married in a small, easy ceremony. Although, something told him that if they had gone all out, JJ wouldn't have cared too much.

JJ had been helping them out in the morning, but by the afternoon, she had grown too exhausted and had retired to the couch.

Walking through to the lounge room where he knew he would find his wife, Will smiled at seeing her half asleep in one of his old shirts and a pair of cotton pyjama pants.

"Hey," he said softly, gently shaking JJ's shoulder. She stirred, rubbing her eyes as she turned to look at her husband.

"I'm just running to the store, is there anything you want?" he asked.

JJ shook her head, clearly still tired, but unable to completely fall asleep throughout the day.

"Henry's just in the next room, and Haven is still upstairs. I won't be long," he assured her, bending down and pressing a kiss to her forehead before taking his keys from the spot he'd left them in on the coffee table, and leaving the room. Moments later, JJ heard the front door open and close.

Pulling herself up slightly, she winced. The pain was nowhere near as bad, and she was definitely healing, but the heat was making her entire abdomen feel inflamed, and it was uncomfortable to say the least.

She smiled as she listened to Henry and Lily eagerly making plans for their wedding. They were hoping to be married within the year, and JJ was excited for her son and future daughter-in-law.

She was just getting resettled on the couch when a shout came from upstairs.

"MOM!"

At her daughter's panicked cry, JJ pulled herself to her feet as fast as she could, making a beeline for the stairs with one arm clutching her wounded stomach. The last time she had heard Haven sound that scared, Haven had been collapsed on her bedroom floor in the throes of a miscarriage.

"I'm coming Haven!" she called out, gripping the banister so tightly her knuckles were turning white.

She was halfway up when a wave of pain caused her legs to turn to jelly, and she collapsed on the steps, grimacing in clear pain.

"Mom?" came Henry's approaching voice. JJ took deep breaths, trying to abate the pain, and moments later, Henry and Lily appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

"Mom, are you ok?" Henry asked anxiously, quickly climbing the stairs to check on his mother. "What happened?"

"Lily... can you go up to Haven... see if she's ok," JJ asked weakly.

"Of course," Lily replied, hurrying away up to Haven's room to find out what was going on.

"Mom, let me get you back down to the lounge room," Henry said gently, wrapping a strong arm around his mom and helping her back to her feet. "And then I'll get you some of your pain meds, because I know you haven't been taking them"

"I don't need them," JJ retorted.

"Yes you do," Henry replied firmly. "You're in pain Mom, you need to be able to rest, that's what the painkillers are for"

A few moments later, Henry had his mom back on the couch, and Lily was rejoining them.

"She says she's having these abdominal pains that feel like cramps. She's really freaked out," Lily explained.

"It's Braxton Hicks. Tell her not to worry about it, it's only Braxton Hicks," JJ said. Lily nodded, turning on her heel and heading back up to Haven's room.

"Here," Henry said, holding out two pills and a glass of water which had been sitting on the coffee table.

JJ begrudgingly took the pills, swallowing them down with a swig of water, and sarcastically showing Henry that they weren't hiding under her tongue. Henry laughed.

"You're like a five year old sometimes," he chuckled, falling into the adjacent armchair.

JJ looked longingly over at the stairs; she felt terrible. Her daughter was upstairs, too uncomfortable to move around in the heat, going through all the effects of pregnancy, without her mom by her side.

"She'll be ok, Mom. You can't change the fact that you can't quite manage the stairs on your own yet. Haven knows that," Henry said gently.

JJ smiled. "Have you ever considered being a profiler?"

Henry grinned. "I'm happy teaching basketball right now... but I have been thinking about something. I know I dropped out of college because I didn't like it, but I realised it was probably more to do with the fact that I couldn't see a final goal. But lately... I've kind of been bouncing around the idea of going back"

JJ raised her eyebrows. "Really? To study what?"

"Well, I'm kind of interested in medicine, but not the standard branch. So I've been looking into sports medicine. So I can kind of stay in my field, but give myself a better chance at a job with a better income," Henry explained.

"If that's what you want to do, Henry, go for it. Just remember that it means you'll have student loans and everything else, along with the wedding," JJ replied.

"We've already put a deposit on the apartment I told you about, so I don't have to worry about that. I'll work it all out," Henry said with a smile.

JJ smiled sadly at him. "What happened to you being three feet tall and scared to go anywhere without me?"

Henry grinned. "I grew into a six foot tall meathead?"

JJ laughed, her hand tightening slightly around her stomach. "You're not a meathead, Henry"

Henry shrugged. "Oh well. You know, whatever happens in the future... I'm excited for it"

Smiling, JJ settled back on the cushions.

"Me too, my boy. Me too"

* * *

Making his way up the stairs, Will was exhausted. He hadn't even done a great deal that day, but it seemed the heat was having its effect on everyone. JJ was fast asleep on the couch, Henry and Lily had given up on the planning and retired to Henry's room, and having been filled in on what had happened while he was gone, Will was now on his way up to check on Haven.

Knocking gently on the door, Will entered the room upon hearing Haven's permission to come in. She was laying on her side, the fan pointed straight at her.

"Hey milagro," he said softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "You feeling any better?"

Haven shook her head, continuously running absent circles on her swollen belly. "I'm still having the cramps, and it's too goddamn hot in here"

Will chuckled, placing his hand over the top of Haven's to still her. "I know it's hot and I'm sorry there's nothing I can do about that, but... about the Braxton Hicks? There may be a little something I can do"

"What?" Haven asked curiously.

"You need to relax, my girl. If there's one thing I learned from watching your momma go through her pregnancies with you two, it's that stress makes absolutely everything worse. The Braxton Hicks are completely normal. They're to help your body get ready for the real thing. But if you stress about them, they're going to be painful for you"

Haven said nothing, mulling over her father's words in her mind.

"I don't know what's going on with you at the moment... your mom and I know you've been worried about Connor... but it's not doing you or the baby any good to be stressed out all the time," Will said softly.

Without any words, Haven pulled herself up, wrapping her arms around her dad and burying her face in his shoulder.

"Hey... don't cry, sweetheart," Will said, reciprocating the embrace as he held his daughter as close as her pregnant belly would allow.

"I just really need a hug," Haven said tearfully, her voice muffled by her father's shirt.

"That I can do," Will breathed, kissing his daughter's temple. "I'm right here for you milagro"


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: Don't hate me!**

**The end of this chapter is so terrible, I'm sorry, but my creative license just wouldn't cut me a break today. I knew how I wanted this chapter to go, but I couldn't string it together, but I wanted to get it to you.**

**Don't forget to go and vote in the 2015 Profiler's Choice Awards!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

The arrival of the baby was fast becoming imminent. Haven was just weeks from her due date, and the house had taken on a drastic change. After the heatwave subsided, JJ had perked up significantly, and had spent the following weekend helping Will and Henry put together the baby furniture. For the time being, it was going in Haven's room, but after Henry and Lily moved into their apartment in the new year, Henry's room was going to be converted to the baby's room. JJ had been quite sore afterwards, but she was at least still able to move around.

Antenatal classes had proved to be very rewarding for Haven; her stress was waning and she was feeling far more relaxed than she had been previously about the prospect of giving birth. She and JJ had taken time out after the classes to buy some more things for the baby, and to pack a hospital bag. It had been a fun yet draining process, and now, Haven was feeling more than ready for her precious little bundle to arrive.

"We should be in by the end of January," Henry said happily as they sat together eating dinner. "We went and had a look at the apartment yesterday, and our loan got approved today, so we're good to go pretty much, it's just all paperwork and confirmation now"

"Bet you're glad it's sorted though," Will mused. Henry nodded, taking a sip of his water.

"It's a nice place. Not big, but it's enough space for us," he replied.

"Until Lily gets pregnant," JJ teased, making the others laugh.

"Which will hopefully not be any time soon," Henry said with a grin, shaking his head at his mother.

Haven's phone suddenly buzzed loudly against the table. As she looked down, she saw Connor's name lighting up the screen.

Looking up, she saw her mother watching her expectantly.

"Can I take this? It's Connor," Haven said softly. "I haven't heard from him in a few days"

JJ nodded, waving Haven out of the room as she scooped up a forkful of potato mash.

Answering the call, Haven rose from the table and slipped into the lounge room.

"Hey Connor"

"_Haven... I can't... I can't do this anymore"_

Haven's heart leapt into her throat. Something was wrong.

"Connor, what's wrong? Where are you?"

Upon asking him where he was, she was suddenly aware of the amount of noise in the background. He was somewhere public, that much she was sure of.

He wouldn't hurt himself in public... would he?

"_None of it matters anymore, Haven. My mother, my grades, nothing. It doesn't matter"_

Feeling sick to her stomach, Haven turned back towards the kitchen, walking back in and looking at her family with fear written all over her face.

"It gets better, Connor, it always does," she said, her voice filled with the anxiety she was feeling.

"Haven, what's wrong?" JJ whispered, setting her fork down on the table as she watched her youngest child.

"_I just wanted to call you... and make sure you know how much I love you. I really do love you, Haven... sometimes I feel like you're the only one in the world who actually cares about me..."_

"You know that's not true. There are so many people who care about you, Connor. Our friends, my parents...your parents," Haven struggled to say. Covering the mouthpiece with her hand, she looked at her mom with tears welling in her eyes.

"I think Connor's going to kill himself"

JJ leapt out of her chair, nearly colliding with the table in her haste to get to her daughter's side.

"Henry, call the police," she said urgently, before placing both hands on Haven's shoulders to steady her; she was looking like she was close to passing out.

"_My parents don't care... all they want is a perfect son with a perfect life... I can't... I can't be that for them. It's too late for me Haven-"_

"No, Connor, think of how in a few weeks, we get to meet our baby girl. You're going to be an amazing dad, and she's going to absolutely adore you, I promise," Haven said desperately. "I need you in my life, our daughter needs you in her life"

"_She deserves someone...better. Stronger than me. I am never going to be the person our daughter needs and I'm sorry"_

"Connor, please don't do this. Tell me where you are and I'll come and get you, you can stay with us, you don't have to stay with your parents," Haven begged, the tears now running in full force down her cheeks. Will watched on, completely astonished, no idea as to how he could help.

"Haven, they need to know where he is," Henry whispered, coming over with the phone pressed against his ear. "They can't do anything otherwise"

"_I really can't do this, Haven. I really can't. I'm sorry"_

"Connor-" Haven started, but she was cut off.

"_I love you Haven"_

"Connor, please-!" Haven sobbed. The noise around Connor got louder. Somewhere busy...somewhere noisy. A shopping mall, a train station, a street in central DC, a football game... the ideas were running into Haven's head faster than she could keep up with them.

"_You can't feel pain if you're dead"_

"No, CONNOR!"

A loud crunch filled her ears, piercing her right to her core as a scream escaped her lips. The line started breaking up as Haven dropped the phone on the table, falling to the floor as JJ threw her arms around her and tried to hold her steady. She was screaming, tears flowing down her pale cheeks as her brother spoke hurriedly with the police.

"Haven...Haven, it's...," JJ said soothingly, but her words failed her, tears of her own falling from her eyes as she clutched her hysterical daughter.

Of all the things she had never wanted her kids to experience, suicide was at the top of the list.

A second set of arms enveloped them, telling JJ that Will was by their side. Haven was inconsolable beneath them both, her hands clutching at her mother as she gasped for air. Her tears were coming so thick and so fast that she could barely breathe.

"He's... gone," Haven choked out between tears. "How is he just gone?"

Willing away her own emotions, JJ pulled Haven closer as Henry hung up the phone. He looked towards his father, who rose from the floor and walked over to join him.

"Someone... someone jumped in front of an oncoming train at McPherson Square Station," he said in a low voice. Will visibly paled immediately.

"Right now we need to calm Haven down," he said thickly. "Haven is our top priority at the moment"

A shriek sounded from the floor, followed by JJ's gasp of utter shock.

"What happened?" Will asked hurriedly, turning around.

"No, no, no, not now!" Haven sobbed, straightening up to reveal that her pyjama pants were soaked through. "Any time but now"

JJ had gone completely white, looking up from Haven to her husband.

"Her waters just broke"


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: Short chapter. I actually had someone tell me yesterday they wouldn't be able to read FMG anymore because of what happened to Connor. I'm sorry to do that to you all, but I promise it's leading into the most amazing arc for Haven. Characters come and go, and unfortunately some of them come in with a purpose from the moment you create them, and Connor was unfortunately not a character I ever created to last. It sounds evil, I know, but that is my muse.**

**I hope you all continue to read because Miss Haven is in for the ride of her life.**

**Next chapter will have much more in it, I promise.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

It was late into the night and Haven was resting.

Getting her to the hospital had been such a saga that JJ was feeling exhausted now that she had calmed down. Haven had been past the point of being able to calm down by the time they had arrived, and after being admitted to the labour and delivery ward, she had been given Entonox and a light sedative to gently knock her into a peaceful sleep.

JJ was sitting vigilant at her bedside, her heart broken for Haven as she watched her sleep.

She couldn't believe Connor was gone. That she had failed to notice that her daughter's boyfriend was struggling, and that he was just completely and irreparably gone.

"I'm sorry you had to lose someone you love like that," she whispered, slowly stroking the top of Haven's head as she slept. "I think it's one of the worst ways to lose someone... because it's something you have the power to stop if you have enough time"

A knot formed in her chest as she swallowed back tears.

"You and Connor should have had forever, but someone somewhere decided he didn't deserve to be happy, and I'm sorry you had to lose him because of that. Your little girl deserves to know her dad, and it breaks my heart to know that he's never going to know his daughter," she breathed, a tear escaping the wall she had built against all the memories of her sister.

"It's always going to hurt a little... and it's not something you'll get over in a week. Or even a month. You may never get over it, and that's ok. But never forget that your dad and I are here for you, and you're not going to be alone at all"

Squeezing Haven's hand, JJ leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to her daughter's forehead.

"You'll be ok milagro... you'll be just fine"

* * *

"Haven, unfortunately we are unable to safely stop your labour. There's not enough amniotic fluid around the baby to prevent infection, and considering you're only a week off of being full term, we would rather deliver now than risk infection to you and the baby," Kerry said, standing at the end of Haven's bed. "We want to wait an hour or two to see if you start having full blown contractions, and if you don't, we'll give you something to help it move along a little. You've been through a lot tonight, and we would rather have your baby out sooner or later before she starts to get stressed"

Haven nodded numbly, her eyes red and puffy as she avoided Kerry's gaze. All she wanted to do was cry, but she had no tears left.

She had imagined her labour and delivery being an experience to remember, with Connor at her side as their baby girl entered the world, healthy and happy.

Instead, she had stress induced labour, and from that night on, was facing a life of having her daughter question where her father was.

Her mom squeezed her hand gently, letting her know that she was going to be ok, that they would get through whatever was coming next. She was suddenly far more grateful for her mom than she had ever been in her life. She knew that what had happened with Connor had to be dredging up painful memories for her...and yet here she was, refusing to leave Haven's side.

As Kerry left the room, Haven turned to her mom, her voice catching in her throat as she tried to speak.

"Can you call Amber?" she croaked. "I want her to be here"

JJ nodded, taking her phone from the nightstand and rising from the recliner. With one last sad glance towards Haven, she retreated from the room into the hallway to call Amber.

It wasn't going to be an easy night. That much, JJ knew.


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: Yes I updated twice in ten minutes because I've had this chapter written for ages and I didn't want to go to bed without giving you the chapter you've all been waiting for.**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

"Ok sweetheart, big push when you're ready!" Kerry called out to Haven. "I can see the head!"

After being given something to help the contractions move along in the early hours of the morning, Haven's labour had progressed normally and safely, but quickly. Amber had arrived at the hospital about an hour after speaking to JJ, and had been a strong supporter at Haven's side. Before long, the contractions had grown so strong that Haven was too distracted to be upset about the evening's events, something that JJ was secretly glad for; Haven needed to focus all her energy on bringing her daughter safely into the world.

It was nearly eight in the morning, and Haven was physically and emotionally drained. The night had gone simultaneously very slow and very fast. All she wanted was for it to be over.

Haven took a deep breath, choking back the sobs that had risen within her at the pain. She tightened her grip on her mom's hand, starting to push as she felt the first pangs of the contraction in her abdomen.

She focused all her energy on pushing, wanting her child to enter the world sooner rather than later. A cry of pain escaped her lips as her skin stretched around the baby's head.

"Keep pushing!" Kerry called out, placing one hand on top of the baby's head. "Right to the end of the contraction!"

Burning, searing pain was all Haven registered as the contraction ebbed away. Collapsing back against the sheets, she took deep, rapid breaths, trying to gain back some energy for the next push. Amber reached over, wiping Haven's sweaty forehead with a cool damp towel. There were two midwives in the room, handing Kerry gauze as she needed it, and making sure the baby wasn't in distress during the delivery process.

"Is she coming out?" Haven gasped, looking up at her mother.

Looking over Haven's leg, JJ squeezed her daughter's hand. "She's almost here. You're doing so well milagro"

"Your mom's right, Haven, you're doing brilliantly. Your baby is just inside, two more big pushes and her head will be out, and that'll be the worst part over," Kerry said soothingly.

Feeling another contraction coming on, Haven obliged to the urge to push, bearing down with everything she had and pushing with all her might. She just wanted it all to be over. She wanted her little girl in her arms, a little miracle to remind her that happiness could still exist in the world.

As the baby's head began to push its way out into the world, the pain became worse. Haven couldn't help but scream, squeezing her eyes shut as she pushed, trying to ignore the pain.

"Keep pushing, keep pushing!" Kerry called out. Haven did so, not noticing when Amber placed another cold towel behind her neck, or when her mother spoke words of encouragement into her ear. All she knew in that moment was her and the little girl who would soon be in her arms.

Running out of puff, Haven relaxed, collapsing back against the gurney as Amber gave her free hand a quick squeeze.

"Good girl Haven. Your baby's almost here," Kerry said encouragingly. "Let's get her out sooner rather than later, hey?"

Looking over once more, JJ broke into a wide smile, turning back to Haven and brushing her daughter's hair away from her sweaty face.

"She's so close. She's out up to her nose," she said, a trace of excitement running through her voice. "You're so close milagro"

Willing herself to use everything she had, Haven pushed again as the next contraction picked up. She cried out almost immediately as her baby's head finally became fully exposed.

"Keep pushing Haven!" Kerry yelled over Haven's grunts.

With one last groan of effort, Haven felt her baby slip suddenly from her body and into Kerry's waiting hands. Immediately, Kerry lifted the baby up onto Haven's abdomen, covering her tiny body with a warm towel. Amber gasped, her eyes filling with complete wonder as she took in the image of the tiny little person now curled up on Haven's abdomen.

"Why isn't she crying?" Haven asked immediately, tears welling in her eyes. "Is she ok?"

"She's ok," Amy said with a smile, rubbing the infant all over with the towel to cleanse her as much as possible. Tiny, squeaky little coughs began to sound; Haven could feel her little girl fighting to draw in that first gulp of air.

Rubbing the baby's back with the towel, Amy's smile widened when she started to cry, a strong lusty cry that filled the ears of everyone in the room.

Taking away the now soiled towel, Amy covered Haven and her baby with a clean one, before turning her attention back to Haven.

Leaning down, JJ pressed a kiss to Haven's forehead. Tears had welled up in her eyes from the second her granddaughter entered the world.

"I'm so proud of you. Look at her beautiful little face," she said softly, brushing Haven's hair back once more.

Haven was so choked up with tears that she couldn't reply. All she could do was place one hand on her daughter's little head and look down at her tiny face. As she did so, Haven felt something stir inside her. It rose inside her chest like a creature awakening from a winter sleep.

Was it regret? Regret that her life now had to revolve around this beautiful baby girl who depended on her so much?

No.

It was love. Unconditional love, and the need to protect her child from anything that could potentially harm her.

Feeling a tear slip out, Haven sniffed, wiping it away with a quick swipe of her cheek.

"It's ok to cry," JJ said softly, putting an arm around Haven's shoulders. "It's an emotional day"

Looking up at Amy, who had just finished clamping and cutting the baby's cord, Haven wiped away her tears.

"I'm gonna go wait outside with your dad... give you guys some time. I'm really proud of you Haven... and I'm so sorry about Connor," Amber said, her voice thick with tears as she squeezed Haven's hand.

Haven found she couldn't respond, instead only able to let out a sob as she squeezed Amber's hand in return and watched her friend leave the room.

Looking back down at her daughter, she placed a trembling hand on her back, feeling the quick little contractions of her lungs. She was no longer completely crying, only letting out little whines every time Haven moved or someone touched her.

"Can I hold her against my skin?" she asked tearfully.

Kerry smiled. "Of course you can. JJ, if you just want to help Haven lower her gown"

JJ nodded, easily untying the top of the gown as Kerry lifted the baby up once more. Upon leaving her mother's touch, the infant whined, her cry rising back to full volume before Kerry carefully placed her in Haven's arms.

Cradling her baby against her chest, Haven's breath caught in her throat when her tiny baby girl's eyes met hers for the first time. There was so much of Connor in her petite little face that Haven's heart gave a painful tug.

"Oh," she gasped, lifting a finger to trace the edge of her daughter's cheek.

She didn't even register when JJ took a photo of the sweet moment. She didn't register the midwives clearing away piles of blood soaked gauze. All she knew in that moment was her and her little girl.

"Darcy," she breathed, a watery smile crossing her face. "Her name is Darcy"


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: A chapter a day keeps the crazy away!**

**Unless it's my writing you're reading, and then you might find yourself in a bit of a pickle.**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

Cleaned up, showered, and dressed, Haven was back in her bed, breastfeeding Darcy for the first time. She was completely shattered, both physically and emotionally, but watching her little girl suckling gently at her breast was filling her heart with quiet joy.

More than anything, she wished Connor was there to share this special moment with her. To see their little girl, alive, happy, and healthy, to hold her in his arms. She wished she'd seen the warning signs; she'd known he was struggling, but she hadn't known he was on the edge of taking his own life.

"You ok?" came her mother's voice.

Looking up, Haven managed a weak smile. Darcy stretched slightly, before placing her little hand on the top of Haven's breast as she continued to drink her milk.

"I think so," she breathed, swallowing down the lump that was threatening to form in her throat.

Sitting on the end of Haven's bed, JJ folded her legs in front of her, watching Haven closely.

"It's going to be hard, milagro. I won't lie about that. But it's ok to hurt and it's ok to cry. Just remember that every time you look at Darcy, Connor is going to be looking back at you, and that's ok because it means he's going to live on in her," she said gently.

The tears fell freely down the teenager's cheeks the second her mother stopped speaking. "She's beautiful"

JJ smiled. "She is. You made her. And now you get to raise her into an incredible person, just like you"

"But I screwed up," Haven whispered through her tears, looking at her mom. "I wasn't meant to have a baby this young"

Shaking her head, JJ reached out and tipped her daughter's chin up. "Mistakes happen. Haven, you took on the idea of being a young mom really well, and you have taken on that responsibility better than your dad and I ever expected. You _are_ an amazing person, Haven, and you're going to get the chance to show just how amazing you are when you can look at this beautiful baby girl in ten years and say 'I did that. I raised her'"

Tears flooding freely down her cheeks, Haven bent her head, pressing a featherlight kiss to her daughter's soft forehead.

"I'm gonna be the best mom you could ever dream of," she whispered just loud enough for JJ to hear. JJ's heart swelled.

She was so proud of her daughter.

* * *

Will and Henry had been eagerly waiting to meet the new addition to their family, but had respected that Haven would ask them into the room when she was ready to see people other than JJ. And so they had gone home, had something to eat and gotten some sleep, before heading back to the hospital just after eight with the news that Darcy Rose Connor LaMontagne had arrived safe and sound.

Slipping out of Haven's room with Darcy in her arms beneath a wad of blankets, JJ pulled the door closed as quietly as she could manage. Once it was shut, she set off down the halls towards the family room where she knew Will and Henry were waiting. For security reasons, no-one but Haven or one of the medical staff were usually allowed to take Darcy, but Kerry had made an exception knowing that Darcy was perfectly safe with JJ and Will.

Walking down the hall with the sleeping baby in her arms, JJ turned right into the family room, where Will and Henry were sitting talking over cups of fresh hot coffee.

"Hey," she said softly as she walked in, getting their attention right away. Both men turned, their faces lighting up when they realised JJ was holding the baby.

"Hey, how's Haven?" Will asked, getting to his feet and approaching his wife.

"She's exhausted. She only just fell asleep, which is why I said I'd bring Darcy out here instead. Poor girl... she's had one hell of a night," JJ said sadly. "She'd been doing her reading and decided she didn't want an epidural, so she was in a fair amount of pain, but I think it was more the fact that Connor wasn't there that bothered her"

Peering into the blankets, Will smiled. "Hey there princess. You're pretty cute"

JJ chuckled as Will eagerly lifted Darcy from her arms into his own. She could hardly believe, watching him now, that he had wanted nothing to do with Haven when she'd told them she was pregnant.

Before long she was watching both of her boys cooing over their newest addition, both completely smitten with Darcy as JJ had expected. Folding her arms across her chest, she smiled as Henry argued with his dad over when he could hold her.

They were all going to be fine. It would take hard work, an adjustment period, and a lot of cheering on for Haven, but JJ knew they were all going to be fine.

Darcy was going to bring light, joy, and happiness into their house, something that JJ knew would definitely not go amiss.


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: I'm glad you're all loving the story!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

The first thing to enter the room was a huge bunch of flowers.

Haven sat on the bed, slightly bewildered as she watched a huge teddy bear follow the bunch of flowers into the room. Even so, she felt she had a pretty good idea of who was behind them.

Sure enough, a few moments later, the huge gifts were placed on Haven's table, and Amber and Zack emerged from behind them.

"Hey," she laughed, a smile spreading across her face so naturally that it warmed her from the inside out. "I thought it was you guys"

"I tried to tell Amber that we should keep it nice and simple, but you know Amber. Go big or go home," Zack replied with a grin, walking over to the edge of the bed. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to Haven's cheek before wrapping her in a tight hug. "You alright?"

Haven swallowed thickly, clinging to Zack for a few moments before pulling away.

"I miss him," she said softly. "I miss him, and I want him here more than anything in the world. I still can't believe...I can't believe he did that...that he's gone"

Sitting down beside Haven, Amber wrapped an arm around her friend's shoulders, hugging her with the comfort only a best friend could provide.

"It sucks...and it's gonna suck for a while...but you have Darcy, and your family, and us to remind you what is still here. And I bet Connor's watching over you guys up there on the cloud," she said warmly, tipping Haven's chin up and giving her a reassuring smile. "Zack and I are going to go with you to his...funeral, and when school goes back, we aren't going to let anyone say one word of bullshit about you. We're the Bullshit Patrol, and we've got your back"

Haven snorted, a laugh bubbling up in her chest as Amber squeezed her in a warm hug.

"You are so mad," she giggled, the happiness parting the curtain of sadness in her heart, even for just a moment.

"So where's the little muppet?" Zack asked, making himself comfortable at the foot of Haven's bed.

"With my mom. She's taken her on walkabout three times already," Haven replied, rolling her eyes. "She'll be back soon, she only takes her for a lap of the corridors and then she's back"

Amber laughed. "She's behaving like a grandma already"

Haven had to grin. "I know, she's unbelievable. Apparently my dad turned into a total puddle when he saw Darcy. And considering he nearly disowned me when I told him... that's a pretty good outcome"

"How are you though? I mean... you sounded like you were in a lot of pain," Amber asked.

"Ambs, I pushed a baby out of my vagina, I feel like I've been kicked in the crotch with a pair of soccer cleats," Haven replied, subconsciously shifting her weight; she'd been sitting on ice packs most of the day, and they had kept the pain to a minimum.

The click of the door opening interrupted the conversation as Zack opened his mouth to speak. They turned, seeing JJ coming into the room with Darcy in her arms.

"Hey guys," she said warmly.

"Hi JJ," Amber said happily. Rising from the bed, she walked over to JJ, pushing the blankets back slightly so she could see Darcy's face. "She's so cute!"

"I bet you've been holding out all day for a cuddle," JJ laughed. "Here you are"

Placing Darcy in Amber's arms, she smiled, leaning against the wall as Amber walked back and sat down beside Zack. Zack leaned over Amber's shoulder, his face lighting up when he saw Darcy's little sleeping face. Haven watched on happily, trying to ignore the painful tugs at her heartstrings; she loved her friends dearly, and was glad they were with her, but the only person she wanted there was Connor.

Why had he done it? Why had he so suddenly ended his own life?

The signs had been there, and she had done nothing. She knew she should've told someone, but she hadn't wanted to break Connor's trust.

Maybe if she had, her daughter would still have her father.

"Imagine when we have one of these"

Zack's quiet words made Haven look up suddenly.

"What?" she asked, surprised. Amber looked up, a sheepish grin on her face as JJ looked curiously between Haven and her friends.

"We were going to tell you... but with everything going on with Connor... I didn't know if it would upset you," Amber explained. "Zack and I have been dating for just over a month"

Haven would've been lying if she said it didn't make her miss Connor even more, but she forced a smile onto her face.

"That's great Ambs! I always thought you two were good for each other," she replied. "I'm happy for you"

Amber beamed as Zack shifted to sit beside her. "Thanks Haven"

"Hey Amber, there's an amazing little thing called the Pill," JJ cut in with a grin. "I'd get yourself on it otherwise it might be you sitting in the bed next year"

Haven and Zack laughed as Amber's cheeks flushed red.

"It's all sorted, JJ," she replied sheepishly.

"I think they've been sleeping together for a while now anyway," Haven teased.

JJ nodded. "Good to know. I'm going to find your dad"

The three teenagers laughed as JJ turned and left the room. Darcy decided she wasn't happy where she was, letting out a wail as she pushed her little fists out from under the blanket.

"Hey, hey," Zack cooed, making Haven smile as she watched. "You can't cry for us, you're gonna be seeing a lot of us as you get older. No crying for your crazy aunty"

"I am not crazy," Amber laughed.

Darcy quieted, looking up at Zack and Amber with sleepy newborn eyes. A big yawn escaped her, making Amber cuddle her a little closer.

"You did good Haven," Zack said gently, lifting his face to look at his friend. "Connor would be really proud of you"

Swallowing thickly, Haven nodded, a single tear falling free and making its way down her cheek.


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: I'm on an absolute roll, so enjoy it while it lasts. This chapter is a little heavy at the end.**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

"Here you go," JJ said gently, placing the donut cushion on the couch before helping Haven lower herself down. "Just take it easy"

Haven grimaced as she slowly put all her weight down onto the couch. The day before had seemed ok, but now it was like the second day following exercise; she was feeling really uncomfortably sore in places she hadn't even realised she would be sore.

"Look, there's your mommy," Henry cooed as he walked past the entryway with Darcy cuddled against his chest. She started to cry as Henry walked towards the kitchen. "No, no, we're not having any of that"

JJ chuckled at her son, turning back to face Haven. Her heart broke a little when she saw how miserable Haven looked.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get some rest? We can watch Darcy for a little while, and we'll bring her up to you when she gets hungry," she suggested gently. She knew that what Haven needed more than anything was some time to grieve in private, without having to worry about Darcy while doing so.

"Are you sure?" Haven asked. "I can take Darcy up with me"

"It's alright. I know we said that she's your responsibility, but you're seventeen, you've had a really horrible couple of days, and you look like you need a decent rest. We'll come to you if she's hungry," JJ pushed, helping Haven back to her feet. "Go on"

Haven wrapped her arms around her mom's midsection, holding on for a much needed hug. JJ reciprocated the gesture, kissing the top of Haven's head and holding her for what felt like ages.

"Thank you," Haven said softly as she pulled away. JJ nodded, watching as Haven walked towards the stairs and slowly but surely disappeared up towards the second floor.

Hearing Henry coming in behind her, she turned around, smiling as she watched her son cooing over his niece.

"You are the biggest teddy bear," JJ chuckled, reaching out and gently stroking one of Darcy's tiny little hands between her thumb and forefinger.

"She's very cute. I'm definitely going to be the favourite relative," Henry teased.

"Don't count on it buddy, no-one beats Grandma," JJ said with a grin, nudging Henry's side with her elbow.

"Do you think Haven's gonna be ok?" Henry asked as he gently rocked from side to side to keep Darcy soothed.

"I think so buddy. She just needs time"

* * *

Curled up with her back to the room, Haven buried her face in her pillow in an attempt to stifle the sobs wracking her body.

All she wanted was Connor. She'd known that she loved him, but now that he was gone, her heart ached for him more than it ever had before. To know that he was not just a few blocks away, that she would never hear his voice again knowing that he was alive and well, caused a pain so deep that she wondered if it was ever going to go away.

Opening her phone, she navigated through her tear blurred vision to the call log, opening her voicemail. There was one that Connor had left not long after they had first started deciding on names, and she had had it saved ever since.

Pressing it, she held the phone to her ear.

'_Hey Haven, so Miranda and Stacey were misses but I was thinking today about how a little mini you would look, and the name Darcy popped into my head. I don't know what you think of it but I thought it was a really nice name, and I know you said you wanted her middle name to be Rose, for your mom and your aunt, and Darcy Rose kinda has a nice ring to it'_ he laughed. _'Anyway, I miss you, and I love you, and I can't wait to see you on Monday. I'll talk to you later beautiful'_

As the recording ended, Haven locked her phone, dropping it down beside her as the tears came thicker and faster than ever.

More than anything in the world, she wished she could take back time so she could take the only chance she had to save Connor's life.


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: New chapter!**

**Please don't forget to vote in the 2015 Profiler's Choice Awards! FMG has been nominated for Best OC Driven, but my story Stars Can't Shine Without Darkness has also been nominated in three categories (Best Angst, Best AU, Most Beloved) and I'm sure you all know by now the crusade that is awareness for childhood cancer. It would mean the world to me if you all voted.**

**Thank you guys!**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

Darcy's cries woke Haven up in the early hours of the morning, long before even Will would be out of bed. It was still dark outside, and the house was completely silent other than for the newborn's cries.

Yawning widely, Haven pulled her exhausted body from the bed. She was still incredibly sore, and so it was incredibly gingerly that she made her way across the room to lean over Darcy's crib.

"Hey sweetie," she said tiredly, lifting the wailing infant up to her shoulder. She was only three days old and boy, did she have a set of lungs. "You're hungry aren't you?"

Sitting down in the moon chair that occupied the corner of her room, Haven got Darcy settled in the crook of her arm before pulling up her shirt to allow Darcy to latch onto her breast. It took a few tries, but finally, Darcy was happily having her early morning snack, her little fingers splayed across Haven's chest.

Watching her daughter eat, Haven felt daunted by the future ahead of her. Her parents hadn't been kidding when they told her it was going to be hard work. Three days in and she was exhausted, covered in drool, puke, and god knows what else, and feeling more miserable than ever. She loved Darcy, but she yearned desperately for Connor. Part of her was wishing that the funeral would hurry up and be over and done with, just so she could have her closure and start moving on.

"I really miss your daddy," she said softly, stroking Darcy's cheek with the tip of her finger. "He was a wonderful person... he would've adored you"

Shifting slightly so that Darcy was held a little more securely, she smiled down at her baby girl. Her eyes were filling with tears, an occurrence that happened so often now that she didn't even try to fight it anymore.

"He was so excited about you. But he wasn't happy with his mom and dad. And so he's gone to heaven. I hope he feels safer up there. I hope he's happier up there. He's your guardian angel, baby girl, and he's always going to be looking out for you"

A tear ran down her cheek, dripping down onto the front of her shirt and soaking there. Wiping her eyes with her free hand, Haven swallowed thickly, gently patting Darcy's back as she ate.

"You're changing my life every day, baby girl. I hope it will always be for the best"

* * *

"So, JJ, when can we come and visit Haven and Darcy?"

Looking up from her paperwork, JJ sat back in her chair, setting the pen down on the desk.

Whilst Hotch had given her the offer of taking a couple of weeks away from work when Haven gave birth, JJ had elected to continue working, but only work a couple of days a week until Haven was comfortable and in a routine. What she had forgotten to account for was how exhausted she was going to be.

"Probably not within the next couple of weeks," she said honestly. "Haven's not coping very well... she's still grieving badly... and I know she would feel like she has to pretend everything is fine for a couple of hours, and I just think that visitors are going to put extra strain on her right now"

Morgan nodded sadly. "Is she going back to school as soon as school starts?"

JJ shrugged. "We'll see. It's her senior year, so I'm going to try and get her to go, but if she's really not going to cope, we'll let her stay home for a little longer"

"How's Darcy?" Kate asked, now setting her own work aside too.

JJ smiled happily. "She is _really_ cute. Henry and Will are smitten. As much as I didn't want to be Grandma... I love her so much, she's a beautiful baby. Very placid too, she's happy to just eat and sleep"

"Hopefully everything balances out for Haven soon then," Kate replied. "Having a baby is hard enough when you're an adult in a committed relationship... I can't imagine having had Lauren with Haven's circumstances"

"I know... I'm trying to help her and be patient, but it's hard because none of us can truly understand what she's feeling. And the hormones are not helping," JJ added. "But she's my daughter... I know, in the end, she'll be fine"

"And are you?"

Reid's sudden question caught JJ by surprise. But with a small smile, she nodded.

"I'm coping"

* * *

"She's giving me shady eyes... oh no, now it's just a 'what the fuck' face... and back to throwing shade"

Haven had to laugh at her brother's running commentary. He had been cuddling Darcy most of the afternoon, and found it very entertaining to see what kinds of faces she made while she was both sleeping and awake.

"Major shade, major shade," Henry said suddenly. Haven laughed, getting up and moving to the other side of her brother so she could see Darcy's face properly.

"That's definitely her 'I know what you did' face," she giggled as Darcy seemed to squint at her uncle Henry. "She knows what you did last summer"

"How, she didn't even exist until like January," Henry chuckled. Darcy wriggled, her little face screwing up in effort, before she started to cry.

"That's her 'Mommy, I just shit a nuclear bomb' face," Henry said.

"Can you...?" Haven trailed off.

"I've never changed a diaper before," Henry said quickly.

"I'll help you. You'll probably have to do it at some point," Haven added.

Henry took a moment, before looking down at Darcy, who was wailing persistently in his arms, and nodding.

And so he found himself changing the diaper of a wriggly little newborn, Haven giving instructions and a helping hand whenever he found himself flailing. Before too long, Darcy was clean, quiet, and content, cuddled up against Henry's shoulder as he and Haven moved back to the couch.

"Good job Uncle Henry. Now you can use that against her when she's sixteen and a terror. 'Don't forget kid, I've wiped your ass'," Haven teased. Henry laughed, rubbing Darcy's back to soothe her off to sleep.

Quieting down, he studied his sister carefully.

"Are you ok?" he asked gently.

Haven shrugged.

"Not really," she said, not seeing any benefit in lying. "But I keep reminding myself to be happy. I just need time, I think"

Putting his free arm around Haven's shoulders, Henry gave her a gentle squeeze before echoing words he had heard his mother say to Haven once before.

"You're a LaMontagne, milagro. You'll be just fine"


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: Aaaand another one.**

**Voting for the 2015 Profiler's Choice Awards closes on the 29****th****, so if you haven't voted, go vote!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its affiliates.**

* * *

"Connor's funeral is next Friday"

Haven stiffened at the words, the painful pang of sadness finding its way back into her heart. Darcy was asleep on a blanket on the opposite end of the couch, her little chest rising and falling as she let out the occasional grunt or sigh.

"I know," Haven replied softly, her eyes never leaving the floor just in front of her feet.

"Do you want to go?" JJ asked gently, taking a seat in the armchair adjacent to Haven. "It's ok if you don't"

Haven shook her head. "Of course I do... he was my boyfriend"

JJ nodded. "I just wanted you to know that you have the option of giving it a miss if it's going to be too much for you"

"I'll be fine," Haven said shortly, her eyes remaining fixed on her sleeping baby. She didn't want to talk about Connor. She was trying to focus on being happy, if only for Darcy's sake.

Noting the sharpness in her daughter's voice, JJ nodded once, rising from the armchair she'd been sitting in. She didn't want to start an argument. Not today.

* * *

"Are you excited for your bath?" JJ cooed as she undressed her granddaughter on the bathroom counter. As she pulled the onesie away, Darcy wailed, curling up into a little ball as the cool air hit her skin.

"Oh I know sweet girl, it's cold tonight isn't it?" JJ said sympathetically, leaving Darcy in her diaper and lifting her up to her shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

Turning around, JJ saw Haven standing in the doorway looking rather confused.

"I was just about to give Darcy a bath. Do you want to help? I'll show you what you have to do," she offered gently.

Haven hesitated, before nodding and stepping into the room beside her mom.

"Roll up your sleeve and touch the water with your elbow," JJ instructed.

"My elbow?" Haven asked. JJ nodded.

"Your elbow is the most temperature sensitive part of your body. If it's too hot to touch with your elbow, it's too hot for Darcy," JJ explained.

Haven accepted the explanation, kneeling down beside the bath and testing the water.

"It's ok. Lukewarm," she replied.

"Perfect," JJ said. Setting Darcy back down on the towel on the counter, she took off the infant's diaper, finding it clean.

"Now lift Darcy up to your shoulder and keep one hand behind her head, one hand on her bum," JJ instructed, watching as Haven did so.

"What if she poops on me?"

"You'll have to learn to deal with it," JJ smirked. "Now kneel down here"

Haven slowly knelt down as JJ joined her at the edge of the tub.

"Now just lower her in gently. Keep her head above the water," JJ said softly.

"Can you help me?" Haven asked nervously.

"Of course"

Keeping her hands underneath Haven's, JJ helped her lower Darcy into the little tub. Darcy's eyes were barely open, and JJ knew it wouldn't be long before she was tucked back up in a onesie, snuggled against Haven for another sleep.

As her little body touched the water, Darcy's eyes flew open, her arms and legs drawing in closer to her as she let out a wail.

"Is it too hot? Is she ok? Why's she crying?" Haven asked anxiously.

"It's alright," JJ said softly, looking at Haven with a small smile. "All babies do it on their first bath. They're not used to it. Give it a year and you won't be able to get her out"

Haven chuckled. "Mom, she's a week old, can we just take it a little bit at a time?"

JJ grinned. "It'll be flying past before you know it. I swear you turned two yesterday"

Haven managed a smile, before looking back down at Darcy, who was staring wide eyed at everything around her. A little flutter flew into her heart as she watched her mom gently trickling handfuls of water over Darcy's body to wash her.

"Eventually you'll be able to do this on your own. Hold her head up with one hand and wash her with the other. When she's older, about four or five months, you can roll up a towel and put it under head. That way you have both hands free and she's still supported"

Nodding, Haven swallowed thickly as Darcy looked up at her.

There was no doubt that Darcy had gotten Connor's eyes. Every time she met her daughter's eyes, she felt her heart break a little further. She hoped it was something that would be less painful over time. That one day she would see instead how her daughter was like him in mannerisms and personality, rather than being painfully reminded that he was gone every time she looked into Darcy's eyes.

"I think we're all done. Back in her jammies, something to eat, and she's down for a couple of hours," JJ said, breaking Haven out of her reverie. Haven nodded hastily, lifting Darcy from the tub as her mom draped a towel over her shoulder.

"I'm going to help your dad finish dinner. Are you ok to finish up?" JJ asked.

"Yeah," Haven said quietly. Wrapping Darcy in the towel, she watched as JJ walked away, fighting back the lump in her throat.

She was supposed to be happy at seeing Darcy experience the world. Being a new mom was supposed to be a joyful, albeit messy experience.

Swallowing back tears, Haven turned her head, kissing Darcy's tiny temple.

What was wrong with her?


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: If this chapter seems to spiral and change directions really quickly, I'm sorry, I tried to lead into it.**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

The weight in her chest was getting heavier as she watched the reverend speak at the front of the mass. None of the words he was saying were reaching her ears. Her world had gone completely silent.

Darcy was sleeping happily in her arms, but Haven's eyes remained fixed on the elegant white coffin sitting before her. Tears burned, but she was fighting to keep them at bay. If she lost it now, she knew she would be inconsolable for the rest of the service.

Chancing a look at Valeria and her husband, Haven felt an odd mixture of anger and sympathy twisting in her gut. Valeria was beside herself, while Peter seemed to be holding it together for the two of them. She was angry... angry that two people could never have noticed how much they were hurting their son... that they could never have noticed something was wrong with Connor... yet on the other hand, her heart was broken for them. They were never going to hear his voice, see his smile, ask him to do his chores, or congratulate him on his brilliant test scores again.

They would be alone in that big old house just a few blocks away, with nothing but the reminders of the only child they ever had.

Haven couldn't decide which was worse. She had loved Connor to no end... had been excited to share a life, to share a _child_ with him. He was going to leave a void that could never be filled... but Haven knew the hole in her heart could not rival the one felt by Valeria and Peter.

Darcy stirred, a little cry escaping her lips as she curled her little fingers into tight fists. She was not yet fully woken, but Haven knew she didn't have long before Darcy was all out crying.

Rising from her seat, Haven excused herself so she could take Darcy away from the service and get her resettled. The early evening light was casting a beautiful picture across the sky, but it did nothing to lift the dark cloud of sadness in Haven's heart.

She passed her parents, swallowing down the lump in her throat as her mom momentarily touched her lower back in a gesture of comfort. She continued walking, past the tree line that had given them a sheltered, private area in which to say their goodbyes, over the soft grass, and down towards the beautiful lake about 100 yards from the service.

"It's ok," she whispered thickly, rocking slightly to soothe Darcy. "I know"

Darcy let out a wail, her little face screwing up as she stretched out. Haven knew she was clean and fed, and knew that all she could do was hope that she would be able to calm her down.

As she stopped at a little rise at the edge of the lake, her floodgates broke. Tears flooded down her pale cheeks, rising from within her faster than she could cope.

Connor was gone. He was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

Cradling Darcy against her chest, Haven was fighting to get control of her emotions when she heard someone coming up behind her. She made no move, assuming it was either Henry or one of her parents.

When a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, she was surprised to recognise the jacket sleeves as belonging to Zack.

"It's alright. Let it out," he said gently, prompting more tears from Haven. Darcy was whining, her little fingers reaching upwards as she hooked them into Haven's jacket.

"I'm not ok Zack," Haven sobbed, sinking to her knees on the grass. Zack followed, dropping down beside her and putting his arm around her shoulders.

"You don't have to be," Zack replied, taking Darcy from Haven's arms so he could get her settled while Haven allowed herself a moment of grief. "You loved him and you lost him, and it's ok to grieve over that"

"I just... I'm supposed to be loving being a mom... but all I feel when I look at Darcy is pain and sadness," Haven admitted. "I don't know if I can do this"

"You can do this," Zack affirmed gently, bouncing Darcy lightly in his arms. "Let us help you. You know Amber would willingly come and hang around all day to help you with Darcy if it all got too much. Your mom and dad... your brother... they're all here for you, and they aren't going to let you do this alone. _We_ aren't going to let you do this alone"

Haven sniffed, wiping away her tears on her sleeve as she looked over at her friend.

"Thanks Zack," she said softly, hiccupping slightly as he gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Anytime, my crazy friend"

* * *

Having allowed Haven to go out with Amber and Zack after Connor's service, JJ was awaiting her daughter's return home from a rigid position on the living room couch.

Henry was lying on the floor, entertaining Darcy who was gazing up at the world around her with her big newborn eyes. Every so often he glanced up at his mom, seeing if she'd made a move, being thoroughly unsurprised to see she hadn't.

JJ was having mixed feelings.

So far, while she understood Haven was having a rough adjustment to being a mom, she hadn't been overly impressed with her daughter's effort. Darcy's bath just a few nights earlier had been one of the only times she had seen Haven actively trying to nurture her daughter.

She was starting to feel anger. Not that she wanted to. Haven had promised them she would step up if she kept the baby, and so far, she had not really lived up to that promise.

Taking a deep breath, JJ pinched the bridge of her nose.

Being a teen mom was never something she had wanted for her daughter. And with the way their life was changing now, as much as she adored Darcy, she wished she had a time machine so that Haven could go back and make different choices.

Hearing the front door open, JJ leapt up from the couch, crossing the room to reach the entryway.

"Where the hell have you been?" JJ spat as Haven trudged back through the door. She had sounded angrier than she intended, but she found immediately that she didn't care.

"Out," Haven mumbled in reply. As she stopped to hang up her jacket, her mother drew closer.

"Have you been drinking?" JJ asked, suddenly aware of the peculiar scent coming off her daughter.

"What's it to you?" Haven said, whirling around with narrowing eyes, her body language practically daring her mother to push it further.

"I'm your mother and you're underage and responsible for a child, that's what," JJ growled.

"Well, excuse me for having a rough day," Haven spat. "I'm going for a shower"

"Are you not going to see whether your _daughter_ needs some of your attention before you go upstairs?" JJ asked.

"I'm going for a shower," Haven repeated firmly.

Reaching out and grabbing Haven's arm, JJ yanked her back towards her, her frustration clear on her face as she leered at her daughter.

"I know you're grieving and adjusting to being a new mom but honestly Haven, I don't think you realise just how much we've done so that you could have Darcy. The amount of work your father and I have missed, the things we have paid for so that Darcy has everything she needs. You are completely taking advantage of everyone and everything and you know what? It's time you get your shit together Haven because it isn't going to fly anymore. I have made so many accommodations for you and I have yet to hear a word of thanks or see any attempt to start being fully responsible for your own child!" she said angrily.

"That's what you're supposed to do!" Haven shot back. "You told me that as my mom, you would do anything for me!"

"Letting my child be an ungrateful little swine was not one of those things!" JJ spat, shaking Haven roughly as her anger started to take hold.

"I can look after Darcy just fine! I don't need your help!" Haven retorted, trying to pull herself free of her mother's clutches as she pulled backwards towards the stairs.

"You know, I was never like this at your age! I didn't sleep around, I worked hard, I took responsibility for my actions, none of this making completely fucked up life choices!" JJ cried. Haven knew her mom was angry now; she had never sworn at her or Henry directly unless they had done something to seriously rile her up.

But Haven was angry too.

"You told me you supported my decision!"

"Until it became clear that you're more interested in becoming a complete fuck up than a decent mother!" JJ sneered.

By now, Will had come into the lounge room, wondering what on earth all the ruckus was, while Henry had retreated to the far side of the lounge room, a crying Darcy held tightly against his chest.

"Well I guess you should have just miscarried me then!"

JJ's hand flew up as she lunged at her daughter, slapping Haven hard across the face. Her ring band sliced across Haven's cheek bone, blood spilling from the gash as Haven staggered backwards in shock.

"Hey, HEY!" Will yelled, grabbing JJ's arms and pulling her back towards him. The situation had escalated out of control, and he was now scared that either JJ or Haven would end up seriously hurt.

Pressing her hand to her cheek, Haven's eyes widened as she realised there was blood running down her cheek. Looking up at her mom, her eyes narrowed.

"Fuck you," she spat, seeing the fury boil behind JJ's eyes as she grabbed her phone from the hall table.

Wrenching the front door open, she took off down the front path at a run, adrenaline pumping through her body, telling her to ignore the stiffness and pain.

"Haven! HAVEN! GET BACK HERE NOW!" JJ roared, yanking herself free from Will's hold and running out to the front gate.

By the time she made it out onto the road, Haven had disappeared.


	52. Chapter 52

**A/N: I was so tired when I wrote this so I hope it makes sense.**

**Disclaimer: As before.**

* * *

A sharp wind whipped through her hair as she drew her jacket tighter around her shoulders. The cut on her cheek stung terribly with each gust of wind, and the blood had now dried to her skin.

She didn't know what was going to happen next, but all she knew was she didn't want to go home.

Home was where the sadness hung over her like a dark cloud and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Home was where her mother clearly felt she was a failure, and Haven knew that it was the last place she wanted to be right now.

Steeling herself against the cold night air, Haven walked determinedly in the direction of her final destination, ignoring the ache between her legs and the stiffness down her back; running off had almost pushed her still healing body to the limit.

She was cold, tired, and alone.

She wished the sanctuary of Connor's arms was still somewhere she was able to go.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Will asked incredulously as JJ snatched up her purse and keys from the table.

"Going to find Haven. And when I find her, I'm going to kill her," JJ said darkly, storming away towards the front door.

"JJ! JJ, wait," Will called, leaping up to run after his wife.

"What?" JJ sighed, whirling around to look at him.

"I think we should wait her out. I mean, you did cut her cheek open-"

"That was an accident Will, of course I didn't intentionally maim our child," JJ replied.

"I know, but what I'm saying is I think both of you just need some time to cool off. I understand that you're angry, but I also understand that Haven has had a really rough couple of weeks. If you go looking for her now, you're probably just going to end up arguing again, and that's going to help no-one," Will said quickly.

"Will, our seventeen year old daughter is out there somewhere, all on her own. She had a baby _two weeks _ago. As pissed off as I am," JJ trailed off, her voice cracking, "I don't want her out there by herself. I'm going looking for her"

Relenting, Will nodded as JJ turned and left through the front door. He stood alone in the front lounge as he listened to JJ's car pull away.

He had witnessed a fair few of Haven and JJ's blowups over the years, but he had never witnessed one as vicious as the one he had just seen.

He only hoped it hadn't created a permanent rift between the two.

* * *

"Haven?"

To say Zack was surprised when he opened his front door at midnight to find Haven on the front porch was an understatement.

Even more surprising was the bloody cut on her cheek and the puffy red circles around her eyes.

"Haven...what happened to your cheek? I only dropped you home like an hour ago," Zack said incredulously, ushering her inside.

"My mom...she just freaked out on me," Haven said tearfully as Zack guided her through to the kitchen and motioned for her to sit up on the stool.

"What happened?" Zack asked as he walked over to the cabinet above the fridge and pulled down the first aid kit.

Haven shook her head. "She was upset because I was out so late...and I apparently don't make enough effort with Darcy...but I mean...I can't deal right now with Connor being gone...she doesn't get it...and then I got angry and said something pretty bad to her and she turned around and slapped me," she reiterated through her tears as Zack started cleaning the cut on her cheek. "Can I stay with you for a bit?"

"Yeah of course Haven. Do your parents know where you are?" Zack asked.

Haven shook her head. "And I want to keep it that way. I can't deal with anything at home right now...I just need some space"

"Well you have a safe place here. You can stay as long as you need"


	53. Chapter 53

**A/N: I know JJ seems inexplicably angry, but bear with me.**

* * *

Haven had just finished changing into a pair of Zack's sweatpants and a T-shirt when her phone buzzed loudly on the bedside table. She raced over to it as quickly as her tired body would allow, seeing Amber's name lighting up the screen.

"Amber?" she answered.

"_Haven, Zack texted me and told me what happened, but I'm calling you now to say your mom has just been to my place looking for you and I think she's headed to Zack's"_

Haven's stomach dropped. Zack didn't live very far from Amber's house at all.

"Was she angry?" she asked in a small voice.

"_Uh...yeah, but she seemed worried about you. Haven, I think you should go home with her, things are just going to get worse if you don't"_

"I can't," Haven breathed, her eyes filling with tears. "I feel like I'm suffocating when I'm there"

"_Oh Haven...I know you're hurting. We all miss him, but it's going to be ok. Given time, you'll be alright, because you're Haven LaMontagne, you have to be"_

"I don't want to be Haven LaMontagne anymore," Haven whispered, sinking to the ground at the edge of the bed. "I don't want this life"

There was silence from Amber's end.

"_Haven... I know things have been really hard... but one day it is going to be all worth it, when you have your own place and know you worked hard for every inch of it so that you and Darcy could have your own life"_

Haven let out a sob. "I don't want to do this anymore, Amber. I don't want to be a mom. I'm scared"

"_You don't get much of a choice, Haven"_

"I want one," Haven whispered, pulling her knees up to her chin.

"_I know_," Amber said sadly. _"But Darcy's here now. There's no going back, and it's going to be ok. You have us"_

A loud knocking at the front door cut off Haven's next reply. Haven felt her heart rise into her throat as all the blood rushed out of her face.

"I think my mom's here," she said in a scared whisper.

"_Go out there and talk to her. Call me when you can, ok?"_

Managing to give Amber an ok, Haven hung up the call. Slowly rising to her feet, she dropped her phone on the bed and crossed the room to open the door.

She could hear voices in the entryway, and above all of them, she recognised her mother's.

Swallowing thickly, she forced herself to walk towards the noise. Too scared to simply walk into the foyer, she simply poked her head around the corner, feeling the colour drain from her face when she saw her mother standing there, looking seriously pissed off.

"Haven," JJ stated as Zack and his dad, Russell, stepped aside.

Haven's stomach was in knots as she slowly stepped out into full view.

"You're coming with me," JJ said firmly.

"No," Haven replied, surprising herself with the force in her voice. "I'm staying here"

"Haven-" JJ started warningly.

"No, Mom, I don't want to go home, I don't want to be there!" Haven exclaimed. "I'm sorry, but I just...I need some space"

When JJ reached out and grabbed Haven by the front of her shirt, Zack and Russel made to stop her.

"You have a child, Haven, who is wholly dependent on you. I don't give a damn if you don't want to be there, you need to be with your daughter," JJ growled.

"I can't," Haven replied, bursting into tears. "I just can't, I..."

Trailing off, Haven found herself unable to voice her reasons to her mother. Tears flooded down her cheeks as she stood there in the foyer, hugging herself tightly and looking smaller than ever.

"Maybe it would be ok for Haven to stay here for a few days," Russell said softly, placing a hand on JJ's shoulder to gently move her away from Haven. "She's more than welcome, and I'm sure you would rather her here than out on the streets"

JJ nodded stiffly, her eyes glued to her dishevelled child.

"You're even welcome to bring Darcy to her if you would like," Russell offered. "I don't quite know what's happened at home, but it sounds like Haven is right, and you do need some space"

"We do," JJ replied sharply. "But Darcy is staying with me. She deserves better than this right now"

Haven couldn't even lift her eyes to look at her mother. Zack stepped up, wrapping his arms around his friend and trying to offer her some comfort.

"Come home when you're ready to be a decent mother," JJ said darkly, before turning on her heel and stalking out the front door to her car. Russell closed the door behind her, before turning to Zack and Haven.

"What happened?" he asked incredulously.

"It's a long story, Dad, and I think Haven needs some rest. We can explain everything to you tomorrow," Zack said softly, placing a strong arm across Haven's lower back. Russell nodded understandingly, watching as his son led Haven back to his room.

* * *

When JJ arrived back home, she was greeted by the sound of Darcy's persistent screams and two very overwhelmed men.

"She won't stop crying, and she won't take a bottle!" Henry said exasperatedly, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Because she wants Haven," JJ muttered, walking over to the bassinet in which Darcy slept downstairs. Picking up the screaming infant, she felt a sudden rush of emotion as tears started leaking from her eyes.

"JJ?" Will asked gently.

"I don't know what's wrong with Haven," JJ cried, turning to her husband. "She says she can't come home... since when have we made her feel unsafe or uncomfortable in this house?"

Will shook his head. "I think you'll find it has more to do with grief than anything else. Her new life. This whole house is a reminder that she's not a normal seventeen year old, and while she's here, she can't deal properly with losing Connor because she has Darcy"

JJ let out a sob, rocking the screaming infant a little.

"We just have to let her get hungry enough to take anything being offered to her," she sobbed. "As cruel as it is, it's the only way we're going to get food into her today"

Placing his hands on JJ's shoulders, Will kissed her forehead.

"One step at a time. We'll make sure Darcy is looked after, and when Haven comes back, we'll find out what's going on with her. We'll get it sorted, cher, I promise"

Swallowing thickly, JJ nodded, leaning into his embrace, mindful not to squish Darcy.

"I hope so"

* * *

Curled up with her face buried in Zack's chest, Haven was more grateful than ever for her friend. He had so simply and without question opened up his home to her, giving her food, clothes, and even going as far as to share his bed. She felt safe and comforted with his arms around her, and she was glad that he was the type of friend she could share this kind of moment with while safely knowing it would never go any further.

"You ok in there?" Zack whispered, tipping his head down to look at her.

"I'm coping," Haven replied just as quietly. "I just don't know what to do"

Zack sighed. "Hang out here for a few days. Cool off. Get your head sorted. Then go home and try to patch things up with your mom. I know you don't really like the deal on life you were handed... but without grief hanging over your head, I think looking after Darcy will feel easier"

"She looks like Connor," Haven whispered tearfully.

"I know, and you know what... in a year, you'll be grateful for that. Because if you start to forget how his eyes sparkled, or what he looked like when he smiled, and how he used to stick out his tongue when he was concentrating really hard on something... all you have to do is look at Darcy, and there in her, you have a perfect living replica. He lives on in her," Zack said gently.

Haven said nothing, instead just taking a deep breath to fight back the oncoming wave of tears.

"I just miss him so much," she choked out.

"I know," Zack murmured, tightening his hold on Haven. "We all do"


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N: Hope you all like this chapter!**

**Don't forget to go and vote in the Profiler's Choice Awards! (Shameless plug: a couple of my stories have been nominated and it would mean the world if you voted for them!). Voting closed 11:59pm on the 29****th**** of February, EST!**

* * *

Within a day, Haven was in agony.

Not breastfeeding Darcy meant she had no way of relieving the pressure in her breasts, and Haven had not been expecting the unbearable pain that was going to bring on.

She managed to express enough milk to ease her discomfort, but the engorgement made her feel more miserable and irritable than ever. She didn't know what she wanted, or where she wanted to be, and as a result, she spent most of her time lost and confused.

"Haven?"

Zack's voice pulled Haven from her slump shortly after breakfast on her second morning at his house. She had remained in bed, wanting to just sleep through the discomfort she was feeling. Lifting her head wearily from the pillow, Haven looked at him questioningly.

"I'm going to the store for my dad...do you need anything?" he asked gently.

Haven thought for a moment. She did need more sanitary pads, but she didn't really want Zack to have to get them for her.

"Can I just come with you?" she asked in a small voice.

"Of course," Zack replied with a warm smile. "I'll wait if you want to take a shower or something"

Haven shook her head, pulling herself up off the bed. "It's ok. Just need to get dressed"

As Zack left the room and closed the door behind him, Haven pulled herself up off the bed, numb as she made her way to the bag of clothes her brother had dropped off the day before. It didn't take her long to find something to wear, and before long, she was following Zack out to the car.

The drive was almost silent, albeit for the radio playing quietly between them. It wasn't a long drive, which Haven was grateful for. Even though Zack understood her silence, she hated sitting in the car with absolutely nothing to say.

"Well," Zack said softly once he had parked the car outside the store. "How about we meet back here when we're done?"

"Ok," Haven breathed, opening the door and slipping out. She walked into the store with her arms tucked tightly across her chest. She had worn one of Zack's baggy jumpers in an attempt to hide the size of her breasts, but it was doing nothing to abate her self-consciousness.

Taking a deep breath, she focused on getting all the things she needed and getting back to the car.

* * *

Having been left to keep an eye on Darcy while Henry ran a quick errand, Lily was hoping the infant would stay settled. She couldn't understand why, but she had always been rather timid around young babies.

And so, when Darcy's wails reached her ears from the second floor, Lily hesitantly made her way up to the bassinet in Haven's room.

When she reached the edge of the bassinet and looked down at the crying baby girl, she glanced worriedly over her shoulder.

Where was Henry when she needed him?

Sucking in a deep breath, she reached down and carefully picked Darcy up, lifting her up to her shoulder. Darcy kept crying, but the intensity decreased as she cuddled up against Lily.

"You're probably hungry, aren't you?" Lily said nervously as she carried Darcy out of the room and back down the stairs. Unfortunately, she wasn't sure what to do if Darcy needed to be fed, and Henry had said he would only be gone for fifteen minutes or so.

"You'll be ok," she whispered as she sat down on the couch with Darcy snuggled up against her. "Let's wait for your uncle Henry to come back so he can help me"

Thankfully, Henry didn't take much longer to come back. He was quick about getting back into the house, but he stopped short at the entrance to the lounge room, a smile spreading across his face as he watched Lily talking softly to Darcy.

"I could get used to that," he said softly, walking slowly into the room as Lily looked up in surprise.

"Hey...I think she's hungry," she replied.

"I'll get her a bottle, two secs"

As Henry disappeared to prepare a bottle, Lily couldn't help but smile at Darcy's little face. She had never met Connor, but she could tell Darcy was the image of her father. However, her thicket of dark hair and her cute little button nose were all Haven.

As Darcy curled her fists up and prepared to wail again for food, Lily found herself feeling more relaxed holding her. Even when the baby started to cry, Lily was no longer so tense or afraid.

"Here we are," Henry said, coming back with a bottle in his hand. "Do you want to feed her or should I?"

"I can do it," Lily replied, shifting Darcy so she was supported in the crook of her arm before taking the bottle from Henry's hand as he sat down beside her.

They sat in silence for a minute or two, watching as Darcy sucked eagerly at the bottle. It had been hard at first to get Darcy to take the bottle, but with persistence over the last two days from JJ and Will, they had managed.

"I hope we have one of our own one day," Henry said softly as he gently tickled the bottom of Darcy's foot.

Lily smiled, looking up at her fiancé. "Me too...but not for a while"

"I hope not for a while," came JJ's voice from the entryway. Neither of them had heard her come back. Moments later, she walked into the lounge room with a smile on her face. "One baby is enough for right now"

Henry laughed. "We're not making any upcoming plans. We've got a lot of stuff we want to do before we have kids"

JJ grinned, watching the young couple for a moment before turning towards the kitchen.

As she turned, Henry was sure he saw a shadow of regret cross his mother's face. But before he could say anything, she had just as quickly shaken it off and disappeared into the next room.

* * *

Leaning on the hood of Zack's car as she waited for him to come back, Haven was busy scrolling through her phone to try and distract herself. It was a pleasant day outside, not too hot and not too cold, but all she wanted was to curl up under the covers again. She was sore, tired, and miserable. Part of her wanted to try and reconcile with her mother, but the rest of her never wanted to set foot in her own home again.

She wished Zack would hurry up. She wanted to go home.

Hearing footsteps approaching her, she looked up to see a guy walking towards her. He looked to be a little older, possibly nineteen or twenty. Haven's guard immediately went up.

"Hey," he said as he approached, coming to a stop at the end of the car in an attempt to allow Haven her space. "Saw you standing on your own here and just wanted to check that everything was ok"

"Yeah," Haven replied quietly. "Just waiting for my friend. He shouldn't be much longer"

The guy nodded, leaning on the trunk as he looked around the parking lot. After a moment, he turned back to Haven, extending his hand. "I'm Adam, by the way"

Slowly, Haven reached out, accepting the handshake. "Haven"

Adam smiled. "That's a beautiful name. It suits you"

For the first time in what felt like forever, Haven felt a smile spreading across her face. "Thanks...there's a bit of a story behind it, but it's kinda long," she said, looking past Adam as she spotted Zack walking across the parking lot.

"I'd love to hear it sometime," Adam replied, turning to see where Haven was looking. Seeing Zack, he turned back, pulling a scrap of paper and a pen from the pocket of his jeans. "I'm guessing that's your friend"

Haven nodded.

Scribbling something onto the paper, Adam handed it to Haven with a handsome grin on his face. "I'll let you go then. Give me a call sometime, we can hang out"

Giving him a shy smile as she took the paper, all she managed was a wave as he walked away.

"Who was that?" Zack asked as he walked up and unlocked the car.

"Some guy named Adam," Haven said with a smile as she pulled the door open and got into the car.

She had a feeling about Adam. He had seemed very sweet and genuine, and she would've been lying if she said she didn't want to see him again.

Maybe he could help her. Maybe her could help her to move on.


	55. Chapter 55

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who voted, Forever My Girl won Best OC-Driven in the 2015 Profiler's Choice Awards! It tied with, if I remember correctly, three other stories, so congratulations also to the other OC winners!**

**Thank you again, now onto another year of writing!**

* * *

"Come on Darcy, I can't keep doing this," JJ begged her granddaughter as the infant wailed impressively. She was three weeks old, was missing her mom dreadfully, and wasn't afraid to let everyone know that fact. Henry had decided he was at his wit's end, and had gone out to spend the day with Lily.

Sitting in the rocking chair in Haven's room, JJ gently pushed the bottle teat past Darcy's lips, forcing the baby girl to latch on, and letting out a sigh of relief when the crying stopped and she started to drink.

Rocking softly, she looked around the room as Darcy ate. Haven's bed was still messy and untidy from the last time she'd slept in it. Her washing basket was filled with dirty blankets and cloths she'd been using for Darcy, her desk overrun with baby supplies... her room had become the picture of how overwhelmed Haven was feeling. Covering every reminder that Haven was still practically a little girl was another reminder that she was a mother too.

She'd known Haven wasn't coping well, especially while grieving Connor's death, but part of her was still angry at her daughter for so easily running off and leaving Darcy behind.

"She'll come back for you, sweet girl," JJ cooed softly, smiling down at her granddaughter as Darcy sucked eagerly at her bottle. "She will"

Darcy stared up at her, her big beautiful eyes locking onto JJ's as she kicked her feet out and sighed. She truly was the image of Connor, but with Haven's complexion and dark hair, and JJ knew that she was going to grow to be a very beautiful girl.

"You're just gorgeous," JJ chuckled. "So cute"

Patting Darcy's back as she rocked gently back and forth, JJ fought back the tears that were welling in her eyes.

She just wanted everything back to normal.

* * *

Sitting beside Adam on the grassy hill overlooking the park, Haven had very quickly realised where she was sitting.

In the exact same place she had sat with her mother the morning after she had told her parents of her pregnancy.

However, the quiet thrill that had filled her back then at the prospect of being a mother had been replaced by a feeling of emptiness. A sadness, that her little girl would never know her father, and a quiet grief for the life Haven no longer had.

She was still engorged, in large amounts of discomfort, and for the most part, it hadn't helped her ever changing mood. It was also making her extremely self conscious, and coupled with the fact that she was still tender from giving birth, she was feeling rather out of sorts sitting beside the handsome older boy.

"So you're living with your friend right now?" Adam asked, sipping his coffee.

"Yeah," Haven said quietly, toying with the straw on her smoothie. "Things got... a little rough at home"

Adam turned to look at her. "What happened?"

Haven remained silent for a minute, looking down at the ground. Did she really want to tell Adam, a boy she barely knew, everything that had gone on?

Would the fact that she was three weeks post giving birth push him away?

It was a chance she had to take. He would find out about Darcy sooner or later.

"I had a baby... nearly a month ago," she said quietly. "My mom and I had a huge fight last week and I just... couldn't handle being in that house anymore. She gave me the cut on my cheek"

"Do you and your mom get along normally?" Adam asked.

Haven nodded, sipping her drink. "Yeah... she was there for me throughout my entire pregnancy, and now... now that Darcy is here, it's like we just can't get along anymore. I think she feels I didn't do enough for Darcy when I promised my parents I wouldn't leave them to look after her... it's just a mess right now"

"Maybe a week away has been enough... maybe you should go home... try and fix things with your mom?" Adam suggested gently. As he spoke, he placed his hand on the small of Haven's back, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by her, but surprisingly, was comforting.

"Maybe," Haven replied, finally lifting her face to look at Adam. She broke into a shy smile, chuckling softly. "But I don't want to talk about that right now"

"Ok," Adam mused. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Why did you come over and talk to me the other day?" Haven asked immediately. Seeing the look that crossed Adam's face, she bit her lip. "Sorry... that sounded kind of aggressive"

Adam chuckled. "It's alright. To answer your question... I came over to you because I was wondering if you were ok... and it doesn't hurt that I think you're gorgeous too"

Haven blushed, a smile crossing her face as Adam moved closer.

"You think?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper as she lifted her face.

"Yeah," Adam breathed, moments before his lips met hers in a gentle kiss. Haven was surprised, but she didn't push him away.

Something inside her was telling her that this was what she needed.

* * *

Hearing the front door quietly open and click shut again, Will looked up from where he was trying to soothe his fussy granddaughter.

"Haven?" he said incredulously, his jaw dropping when he spotted his forlorn looking teenager standing in the hallway, her bag slung over her shoulder, the cut on her cheek still sporting an angry shade of red.

A chair scraped in the kitchen, and Will grimaced.

This wasn't going to be pretty.

"You better start talking _right now_!" JJ said angrily as she walked into the room, her fierce gaze glued to her daughter.

"I needed some space-" Haven started.

"You know what, so did I when I had your brother, but it didn't mean I took off and left everyone else to look after him! Darcy is_ your_ responsibility, you need to buck up and start acting like her mother, rather than someone who flies in and out of her life!" JJ said, her voice rising.

"Yeah, well you didn't have to listen to Dad jump in front of a train, did you? I'm sorry that I'm not good enough for you, but I can't do this, not now!" Haven spat back, throwing her bag down near the door.

Henry, who had come home only an hour earlier, stood anxiously in the archway, watching his mother and sister with wide eyes.

"You don't have a choice!"

"I DON'T CARE!"

"STOP!" Henry yelled suddenly as Darcy started to scream again. "Seriously, I get that this is all very stressful for everyone, but _please_, just go more than five minutes without having a go at each other. Mom, Haven literally just walked through the door, shouldn't you be glad she's home safely? That she has a friend who is so willing to look out for her?"

JJ took a deep breath, scowling at Haven before turning back towards the kitchen.

"I'd be a lot happier if you could just attend to your child," she said in a low voice, shooting a glare in Haven's direction before disappearing into the next room.

"I'm going upstairs," Haven muttered, reaching down and grabbing her bag before heading up to her room. Henry winced as her door slammed, turning towards his dad.

"She'll come around," Will said softly, snuggling Darcy close as her cries started to settle again. "They both will"

"I hope so," Henry sighed, collapsing into the opposite armchair.

Will nodded reassuringly. "I know your mother well enough to know that, yes, she feels like Haven has failed her, but I know she'll start to see reason soon," he explained quietly.

Henry swallowed thickly.

He hated the unrest. He wanted his happy household back.


	56. Chapter 56

**A/N: I know I'm Satan, but please don't lose respect for Haven. I promised a wild ride, but we will get off at some point.**

* * *

The moment Darcy latched on and began suckling at Haven's breast, Haven burst into tears.

The relief was immediate, and while she knew Darcy wouldn't get as much as she needed, she was glad to feel the ache slowly leaving her chest. It was a painful relief that she welcomed with open arms.

But other than the physical pain, she felt nothing. She was so disconnected from the baby in her arms, and she knew that was something that should have worried her, but instead, she just didn't care. She did love her daughter... but it wasn't in the way she knew she should.

Darcy began to fuss, letting go of Haven as she wriggled irritably in Haven's arms.

"What?" Haven sighed, pulling her shirt back up as she lifted Darcy up, sniffing to control her tears.

Darcy's lower lip pouted impressively before her face scrunched up as she began to wail.

"What's wrong with you?" Haven exclaimed, rising up from where she was sitting, her frustration already rising to an unprecedented level.

The baby just continued to cry, which only made Haven start crying again. Needing to put Darcy down, she walked over to the bassinet and put her daughter in it, perhaps a little more roughly than she should.

"Sometimes I wish I didn't have you," she said coldly through her tears. Darcy's cries rose in volume, making Haven grab her hair in frustration.

"STOP CRYING!" she yelled, moments before the door flew open and her dad came running into the room.

"Haven? What the hell!" he said, shocked, as he rushed over and scooped Darcy up, cuddling the screaming baby against his chest.

"I can't do this, I don't want to do this. I'm done," Haven sobbed, collapsing to the floor as her body shook with emotion.

"You don't have a choice," Will said darkly, turning and carrying Darcy out of the room.

Hunched over on her bedroom floor, Haven choked back her sobs, wiping her nose on her sleeve as she listened to Darcy's diminishing cries grow fainter and fainter as Will took her downstairs.

Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she quickly dialled Adam's number, and was pleasantly surprised when he picked up after the first ring.

"_Hey Haven, I was just about to message you"_

"Can you come and get me?" Haven asked through tears. "I can't stay here"

Adam hesitated for a moment, seeming to hover over the question.

"_I can... but what will your parents say?"_

"I don't care," Haven said quickly. "Please just come and get me"

"_Ok. Text me your address and I'll be there as soon as I can"_

"Ok," Haven breathed, hanging up the call and quickly switching to messages to send Adam her address. Once that was done, she looked up, spying a pile of clean clothes sitting atop the messy linens of her bed. Grabbing the backpack she had just unpacked from staying at Zack's, she shoved the clothes, her wallet, and her phone charger into it, before dropping it onto the bed.

Her door flew open again, revealing her mother standing in the doorway, seemingly seething with anger.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? That baby needs your love and attention and you just stand there and _yell at her_? What the fuck is wrong with you?" she yelled, taking a few steps in towards her daughter.

"Nothing's wrong with me, I just can't do this anymore. I can't deal with you, I can't deal with Darcy, I don't want this anymore, so I'm going somewhere," Haven said through an onslaught of tears, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"You won't be leaving this house, you're still not forgiven for leaving last time!" JJ exclaimed as Haven walked out of the room. "HAVEN!"

"WHAT!" Haven yelled as she whirled around. "I don't care, I am not staying with YOU!"

Thundering down the stairs, Haven grabbed her keys from the dish at the exact moment JJ grabbed the strap of her bag and yanked her back. Haven stumbled, dropping her keys on the floor as she flailed to get her balance.

"Where the hell are you going then?" JJ spat.

"To Adam's," Haven said shortly, bending over to grab her keys.

"Who the hell is Adam?" JJ cried. "You're not going anywhere with anyone we don't know!"

"I'm not five, ok, I'm seventeen, I'm capable of looking after myself, and if you must know, Adam is the guy I'm dating," Haven said irritably, moving towards the front door.

"Do you not realise Connor passed away _three_ weeks ago? What are you doing, Haven, just jumping into bed with another guy!" JJ exclaimed.

"JJ," Will said warningly, passing Darcy to Henry as he approached the girls.

"You calling me a slut?" Haven replied, her voice rising.

"No, that's not what I said, I'm just...astounded that you're moving on so quickly when a week ago you were overwhelmed with grief," JJ admitted, her voice much softer than it had been. "I don't think leaving right now is a good idea, Darcy needs you, and you need time to heal"

"Well I don't want Darcy!" Haven cried, wrenching open the door as Adam's car pulled into the driveway. Adam was quick to get out of the car, not even bothering to cut the engine as he climbed out. As he approached the door where Haven was standing, JJ furrowed her brow, tightening her stance and folding her arms across her chest.

"You're not going anywhere with him," JJ said firmly.

"Definitely not," Will added, giving Adam a once over as he stood beside his wife.

Haven turned to look at her mother, a burning fury in her eyes, hatred boiling in the pit of her stomach.

"You can get fucked then," she spat angrily. "I'm going with Adam"

As Haven strode off towards Adam's car, Adam in tow, JJ leapt down the porch steps.

"You know what Haven? Don't come back. I've had it with this bullshit, Darcy deserves so much better, and we don't deserve to be jerked around like this," she cried as they got in the car.

"Fine!" Haven yelled back, slamming the door as Adam put the car into gear and pulled out of the driveway.

JJ watched them as they disappeared down the road, before turning and collapsing into Will's arms, her emotion finally escaping her shaking body.

* * *

Dropping her bag onto Adam's bed, Haven sat down and slipped off her shoes. Adam had given her the quick tour of the house and had told her to avoid the basement at all costs.

"Just to be totally honest...my parents do a bit of home cooking down there," he had told her. Haven had nodded bluntly to indicate she understood.

The house was small, cramped, and run down, but Haven didn't care. The pressure of being at home was stifling, and she was secretly glad to be out of there. Not one bit of her regretted leaving.

"You ok?" Adam asked, pulling her to her feet and wrapping his arms around her. Haven said nothing in reply, pressing a kiss to his lips as a response.

Adam reciprocated, holding her even closer and deepening the kiss, his hands roaming down her back as she cupped his face in her hands.

Before long, they were sprawled on his bed, Adam's body resting over hers as Haven's body hummed with excitement. The amount of milk in her breasts had caused a fair amount of leakage now that she was aroused, but it didn't seem to faze Adam in the slightest.

"Do you want to...?" Adam asked quietly, breaking the kiss and looking down into Haven's eyes.

Haven hesitated. She'd given birth three weeks ago, and while she physically felt ok, she knew it could a totally different game once things started happening down there.

"I'll be really gentle," Adam pushed lightly, lacing his fingers through Haven's.

"Ok," Haven sighed softly. "But if I say stop-"

"I'll stop, yeah," Adam said hurriedly.

After making sure he used a condom, even though she was sure she couldn't get pregnant, Haven tried her best to hide the discomfort on her face as he thrust into her. If this was his gentle, she hated to see what rough was like.

It wasn't as bad as she had been expecting, she had to give him that. She was definitely going to be sore afterwards as her muscles were probably still protesting from giving birth, but after the initial shock of the stretch, Haven found herself relaxing, clinging to Adam as he brought her closer and closer.

After it was all over, Adam pulled her in to cuddle with him, and Haven found herself smiling, resting against him as he clutched her as close as he could get her.

She barely knew him... but at the same time, she felt like she knew him better than anyone else.


	57. Chapter 57

**A/N: Slightly shorter but quite crucial.**

* * *

Will had never felt so out of sorts in his life.

His daughter had just taken off with an older boy, having just given birth three weeks earlier, and left them with her baby.

JJ had spent the last few days in a mess of tears, having finally snapped after trying to keep Haven's outrageous behaviour under control. Not to mention Darcy seemed to have started suffering from colic, and the incessant screaming was driving everyone mad.

Bouncing Darcy gently in his arms as she wailed and fussed, Will was starting to feel like he'd felt in the days following Henry's birth; exhausted, weary, and like he was running on vapours.

Looking up as he walked into the lounge room, his spirit dived even further when he saw JJ sitting against the back of the couch, staring out the window through puffy red eyes.

"JJ," he said softly, walking over and sitting down beside her as Darcy whined.

"I failed," JJ whispered.

"What do you mean?" Will asked gently.

Tears dripped from JJ's watery blue eyes, leaving tracks down the front of her sweater. "I'm supposed to keep her safe... stop her making stupid choices... and now she's run off with that guy, and abandoned her daughter"

Putting his free arm around his wife, Will held her as she started to cry once more.

"I told her not to come back," JJ sobbed. "What kind of mother says that?"

"You were angry, JJ, we both were. And you had every right to be. I don't even recognise my daughter anymore, and I hope that she will see the error of her ways soon. This Adam won't last, and she'll come back. She needs you... she needs us. All of us. She'll realise soon enough," Will said, his warm voice reassuring JJ totally.

"I just want her back here, I want to know she's safe," JJ sniffed.

"She'll be back... give it time, and she'll be back," Will breathed, pulling JJ in as Darcy finally started to settle against his chest.

"I hope so," JJ whispered, her voice so small and timid that it nearly broke Will's heart.

* * *

Haven had been sitting in solitary on the edge of Adam's bed for nearly an hour when the door opened and Adam came in.

"I was just coming to make sure you were ok," he said immediately as Haven looked up at him.

"I'm fine," she replied softly, avoiding his gaze. "Just wondering why I got handed the life I got"

Sighing, Adam sat down beside Haven, pushing the door closed before he did so.

"You're not the only one with a series of unfortunate events," he said gently, taking Haven's hand. "You realise I do live in a meth lab"

Haven nodded, lacing her fingers through Adam's.

"My parents were on meth before I was born. It's a miracle I was born healthy. I spent most of my childhood with my grandparents, and moved back in with my parents when my grandmother passed away about seven years ago," Adam started to explain. "I had no rules, no boundaries, nothing. My parents have never cared. As far as they're concerned, I'm just another person living in their house"

Haven looked up at him sadly, waiting for him to continue.

"I want to be honest with you Haven... I'm not totally clean myself. I got into meth at sixteen, and it became a downward spiral. I've only really managed to climb up and cling on shortly before I met you," Adam admitted.

"How do you resist it now?" Haven asked.

"Willpower. And a lot of it. It's really hard. But I want to be a better person. My grandparents raised me and gave me opportunities, and if I get sucked into my parents' behaviours, I'm throwing that all away," Adam said. "I owe them more than that"

Giving Adam a soft smile, Haven laid her head against his shoulder, holding tightly to his hand.

"We'll get through our rough patches together, Haven. I promise"


	58. Chapter 58

**A/N: This chapter is a bit of a mess because this part of the story has been unkind to me planning/flow wise. Hopefully I can get through it without it feeling rushed for you.**

* * *

Henry was feeling ragged as he opened the door to find Amber on the front porch. After a night of heavy drinking with his buddies, he had come home intending to sleep, only to find that Darcy wasn't going to let that happen. Now a month old, her colic had worsened and everyone was feeling the brunt of it.

"You look like shit," Amber said, stepping inside the house. Henry groaned, closing the door and leaning against it as Amber laughed.

"I think I'm still drunk," he mumbled, pushing away from the door and swaying on the spot slightly. "I haven't slept yet"

"Darcy?" Amber asked. Henry nodded.

"I'm going upstairs. Mom's in there with the screaming demon," he said, gesturing towards the kitchen before turning and shuffling up the stairs.

Grinning, Amber put her bag and jacket on the couch, before walking into the kitchen where JJ was sitting at the table feeding a fussy baby.

"Hi Ambs," she said tiredly, looking up with a pale face that revealed a similar lack of sleep to her son.

"Hi JJ. Rough night?" Amber asked, taking the seat beside JJ.

"Darcy's a little colicky. I think Henry had the worst night," JJ chuckled. "He looks awful"

Amber laughed. "I know, I told him when he opened the door"

Darcy suddenly let go of the bottle, starting to cry as she kicked and fussed in her grandmother's arms.

"What? Come on," JJ sighed, her frustration with the upset baby quite clear.

"Can I take her for a while?" Amber asked.

"Be my guest," JJ replied, immediately lifting Darcy into Amber's outstretched arms.

"Hey cutie pie, you're a real noisy little thing aren't you?" Amber cooed, sitting Darcy on her knee and holding her upright to burp her. Darcy wailed, her little face scrunching up in distress.

"What's the matter with you?" Amber said softly.

"She wants Haven," JJ said quietly, leaning on the table and resting her head against her hand.

Amber looked up, deciding it was ok to ask about her friend.

"Have you heard from her?"

JJ shook her head. "I don't even know where she went. I'm alternating between being upset that my child is somewhere out there with this skeezy looking older guy, and being really pissed off that she's run off and left Darcy for the second time"

Amber nodded. "I texted her the other day, but I haven't got a reply"

They were interrupted by the sounds of violent retching coming from the second floor. JJ grimaced, rising from her chair.

"I better go make sure he's ok," she said softly, leaving the room and making her way up to the second floor.

Looking down at Darcy, Amber smiled.

"Your mommy will be home soon. She won't leave you, little one. She'll realise very soon that you are the most important thing in this world for her"

* * *

It was almost midday when Haven cracked her eyes open to gleaming sunlight. The bed beside her was empty, and could hear Adam messing around in the kitchen. Muffled thumps from beneath the floor told her one or both of his parents were... busy in the basement.

Lifting her head, Haven was surprised by how groggy she felt. Her eyes felt heavy and foggy, her head like lead, and her entire body was aching. Either she had slept seriously strangely, or had slept for way too long.

As she slowly sat up, a sickening taste filled her mouth. She hadn't brushed her teeth the previous evening, and as a result, her whole mouth felt pretty gross.

Standing up, she swayed dangerously as her body righted itself. She automatically grabbed the top of Adam's dresser as her vision faded momentarily before slowly coming back in. She'd been lying down way too long.

Taking a few tentative steps, she found that she now felt reasonably ok, and pulled the bedroom door open. She was surprised to find Adam standing on the other side, clearly about to open the door.

"Hey," he chuckled. "Sleep ok?"

"Yeah," Haven shrugged. "I think I slept too long. Kinda groggy"

"I was thinking we could go do something fun today," Adam suggested.

"Like what?"

A twinkle shot through Adam's eye.

"Got a fake ID?"

* * *

Three hours later, Haven was standing in a tattoo parlour, flicking absently through the books filled with the artist's work, while Adam sat patiently having another tattoo added to the sleeve adorning his left arm.

It was apparently something he had been planning for a while, and Haven was starting to see the lure of it. Some of the designs were very beautiful and she had to admit, she was starting to wish she had the money for even something small.

"All done," the tattoo artist, Micah, announced, wiping Adam's arm one last time and holding up the mirror so Adam could see.

"That's awesome," Adam laughed. "What do you think Haven?"

Haven turned, smiling as she walked over and admired the new skull Adam had added.

"I like it. Very macho," she chuckled, kissing his cheek.

Micah quickly wrapped the new ink up in cling wrap to keep it clean and free of infection, before turning to Haven.

"Anything for you today?"

"Oh...no, no, not for me," Haven said quickly, taking a step back.

"If you want one, I'll pay for it," Adam cut in. "I have enough"

"It's ok," Haven said with a grin. "There's probably not enough time anyway..."

"Look, if you want one that will take under three hours, I'll do it," Micah said, a hint of impatience hanging in his voice.

Haven took a deep breath, glancing back towards the designs on the table.

She kind of did want one. But it was so... permanent. Not to mention if her parents ever saw it, they would probably kill her.

But she wasn't seeing her parents, so it didn't matter.

"Sure. Why not," she caved. Adam cheered happily, rising from the chair as Micah sterilised his equipment ready for Haven.

"I don't want one of those though," Haven said softly, gesturing towards the table. "I want something else. It's simple"

"Ok," Micah nodded, grabbing a pencil and a piece of paper. "What is it?"

Half an hour later, Haven had talked Micah through the design and was lying on her stomach, having had it transferred onto the back of her left shoulder. The pain was more than she expected, but then again, she had given birth just a month earlier; nothing compared to that.

It took only twenty minutes to complete Haven's tattoo, and when it was done, Micah held a mirror up behind Haven, while Adam held one in front of her so that she could see it.

When it met her eyes, she started to cry.

_Darcy, _in beautiful cursive font, with a blackbird attached to the tail of the Y.

"Don't tell me you've changed your mind," Micah groaned.

"No," Haven said tearfully. "It's perfect"

"I'll cover it up for you and then I'll give you both your aftercare instructions," Micah said, busying himself with the cling wrap and tape.

"You ok?" Adam asked softly.

Haven nodded. "I'm not ready to go back... but I think some things are changing"

Adam smiled.

"Change isn't a bad thing"


	59. Chapter 59

**A/N: I'm really tired but I wanted to update, that's why it's short.**

* * *

"You have to be nice and quiet until they see you, ok?" JJ cooed to her granddaughter as the lift shuddered to a halt on the floor of the BAU. "You're a nice little surprise for them today"

Passing through the doors, JJ felt lighter and happier than she had in days as her eyes fell on the distant figures of her team in the briefing room. She could tell they had just returned from a case and were either debriefing or quickly discussing the next one, as their dishevelled go bags sat abandoned on each of their desks.

Taking the short flight of stairs that led to the rear door for the briefing room, she shifted the bag slung over her shoulder and pushed on the door handle.

"-Grigia is behind bars, but we will need to keep an eye on any potential associates in the near future," Hotch was saying as she opened the door. He turned at the sound of the door as the others lit up at the sight of the baby cradled in her arms.

"Sorry to interrupt... thought I'd bring someone to say hello," she said with a smile.

They immediately closed in, chatting excitedly as they finally laid eyes on their newest junior profiler.

"JJ, she's gorgeous, look at her little face, can I keep her!" Garcia exclaimed, making everyone laugh.

"Sorry Pen, no keeping, but you can have the first cuddle," JJ chuckled, handing the thankfully sleeping baby over to her friend.

As the others joined Garcia, taking in Darcy's tiny hands and button nose, Hotch walked over to where JJ now stood alone at the edge of the room.

"How's things at home?" he asked knowingly. "You probably don't want to hear this, but you look stressed out"

"I am," JJ admitted. "I haven't seen Haven for two weeks. We had a huge blowup, and she took off with this older guy. Haven't seen her since. But there's no point looking for her because she won't come with me even if I find her. I'm angry as hell at her, but she has to come home of her own accord... otherwise nothing will change"

Hotch sighed sadly, looking over to where Morgan was now attempting to calm a fussy baby.

"You raised a good kid JJ. A lot has happened to her recently, she's probably lashing out because she's hurting. In the end, she'll come good again," he said warmly.

"I really hope so," JJ replied. "It's wearing Will and I out. And it's affecting Darcy"

"She'll see reason soon enough. She's stubborn like her mom, but she'll see reason," Hotch said gently.

JJ smiled, her face relaxing and looking brighter than before.

"Thanks Hotch"

* * *

The bed was squeaking so loudly beneath them that Haven was sure the people in the next street over knew what they were doing, but she found that right at that very moment, she didn't care.

With a groan from Adam and a cry of ecstasy from Haven, it was all over, and they were slumped back against the pillows, trying to catch their breath.

After a few minutes, Adam propped himself up on his elbow, taking a deep breath as he carefully chose his words.

"I need to tell you something," he breathed.

"What is it?" Haven asked gently, her hand going to his side as she moved closer to him.

"Last night, while you were sleeping, I went to get something to eat, and when I went in the kitchen, my dad was in there. He was... tweaked out, and kept trying to get me to take some too... I tried to resist him, but he started threatening to kill me, or even hurt you if I didn't... so I did," Adam admitted.

Haven's heart sank.

"Adam...," she sighed.

"I know... I'm not going to end up where I was when I was sixteen. It won't happen again, because I don't want to ruin what I have with you... but I wanted you to know," Adam said quickly.

Haven reached up, cupping his face in her hands.

"I'm here to help you, ok? Don't give up everything you've worked for now," she said warmly. "You're worth so much more than anything that goes on in this house"

Adam broke into a relieved smile.

"It feels so good to hear someone say that," he said happily, before pulling Haven on top of him and into a deep kiss.


	60. Chapter 60

**A/N: Everyone who's been saying 'Haven needs to go home' or 'JJ was wrong', just relax, everything is working its way to a resolution. I have a plan. Although sometimes I write bits of that plan on the fly and you end up with chapters like I posted last night.**

* * *

Days passed by. Before Haven knew it, she'd been staying with Adam for a month. But she had recently noticed that she wasn't feeling much better.

When she had left, she had no intentions of returning home, hoping that staying with someone other than her parents would help lift her spirits. But lately, things had started drifting, to the point where Haven was feeling slightly homesick.

She wasn't sure if she was sleeping badly because of the amount of things on her mind, but she had woken up groggy and exhausted more than a few times. She was worrying more about Adam; he seemed to be struggling with staying clean, becoming irritable and jumpy when he was trying to resist. Haven was doing everything she could to help him, but a sinking feeling in her stomach told her it wasn't enough.

"Hey Adam, I-" Haven started as she walked into his room.

"Can you just leave me alone for five minutes?" Adam grumbled, getting up and stalking out of the room. Haven rolled her eyes, flopping onto the bed and grabbing her phone.

As she opened Facebook, the first post was one of her mom's.

A picture of Will cuddling Darcy. A sharp stab went through Haven's heart as she realised how much Darcy had grown in the time she'd been away. Connor was shining through even more than she had ever remembered and she had to choke back a sob.

What was she doing? Where was her life going from this point?

She was tired. She was tired, and while she had no feelings of wanting to go back to her mom and dad, she knew it was time to start making some changes.

* * *

"I shouldn't have yelled at Haven"

The statement was sudden, making Will look over at his wife in surprise. They had been sitting outside in the cool fall air, enjoying a bit of downtime while Darcy was asleep.

"JJ...," he started softly, but JJ cut in.

"I shouldn't have. That first argument... she'd just been to her boyfriend's funeral...," JJ said sadly.

"JJ, don't start blaming yourself now," Will said gently, turning to face his wife and taking her hands in his. "You were angry, and you know what, you did have a right to be. Haven promised us she would take responsibility for Darcy, and while we understood she was grieving, she hadn't stepped up at all. And then there was the drinking. Underage drinking when she knew she had to come home and be responsible for a baby. Maybe it got blown out of proportion, but you did have a right to be angry at her"

"The day she left with Adam though... I should've realised it at the time, but there's definitely an underlying issue with her," JJ said, her voice wavering. "Our sweet Haven wouldn't have lost her temper with a baby like she did"

"I've been thinking that too," Will agreed.

"It scares me Will... I was pissed off because we were stressed out about the whole situation, and I just took it all out on Haven... it was so easy for me to yell at her, and that's something that scares me," JJ whispered. "You heard what she said, she doesn't want to be around me. I'm the reason she's gone"

"JJ, stop," Will said softly. "Just stop. This isn't all your fault. Ok? Maybe a little, but not entirely. There are clearly other things going on with her, and when she comes home, it's our job to get to the bottom of it all, ok?"

JJ nodded, wrapping her arms around Will and laying her head on his shoulder.

"Love you," she said softly as they watched the sun set through the pink and orange sky.

Will smiled, kissing the top of her head. "Love you too Jennifer Jareau"

* * *

Haven felt lifeless as Adam thrust repeatedly into her body, avoiding his eyes as she gazed up at the ceiling.

She hadn't really wanted to do this.

She had tried protesting because she was so tired, but Adam had been persistent, promising he wouldn't take long and he would be gentle.

Too tired to argue, Haven had relented, and was now lying beneath him like a rag doll as he sorted himself out.

With a loud groan, Adam reached his climax, emptying himself into her as his sweaty body collapsed over the top of hers. He pulled out, kissing her lips once before falling down beside her.

Minutes later, he was asleep.

Haven wasn't entirely sure what had just happened. She had had sex with him. It hadn't been rough, forced, or violent.

But she hadn't been willing. It had been consent under duress.

Did that count?

She wasn't sure.

Feeling a little sick to her stomach, Haven rolled over and closed her eyes, pulling the sheet right up to her chin. She wasn't hurt, and so far, she did trust Adam, and so she forced herself to push it from her mind.

But she knew that come morning, she was going to have to talk to him. Because they weren't going to go anywhere if she didn't.


	61. Chapter 61

**A/N: This chapter is crazy. And I feel like everything is just being thrown out there rather than paced but what can I say, I don't pace. Hope you guys are enjoying it.**

* * *

She tried putting it off, but by the time night had fallen, she knew she couldn't put off talking to Adam any longer. He had been considerably stroppier with her all day and Haven was tired of not knowing where they stood.

Getting up from the bed, Haven left the room, walking past the lounge room towards the kitchen. Adam's parents were sitting on the sofa, both staring blankly at the TV as Haven was accustomed to.

She continued into the kitchen, and the minute she walked into the room, the horrible smell of burning plastic and lighter fluid assaulted her nostrils.

Meth.

Adam was leaning heavily on the counter, his chest heaving as he took multiple deep breaths. Haven sighed. Looked like his willpower wasn't as great as she had hoped.

"Adam, we need to talk-"

No sooner had she started speaking than Adam whirled around, his face contorted in rage as his fist connected with the right side of Haven's face, sending her crashing into the wall unit behind her before she crumpled to the floor. Items from the cabinet rained down on her, but Adam had already lunged for her, pushing them aside.

"Fuck you bitch!" he roared, pinning her to the ground before she could try to get up, throwing another punch that connected with her mouth, forcing her teeth through her lip as howled in pain. Blood spilled from her mouth, dripping onto the floor. Another punch near her eye. She screamed, bringing her arms up to shield her face as best she could while Adam rained hit after hit down on her chest, ribs, and stomach. Then he reached behind her, grabbing her hair and roughly dragging her up off the floor. It was absolute agony.

"Adam! Adam, please stop!" she begged through tears, her hands going to her head to try and stop the pain he was causing. "ADAM!"

"SHUT UP!" Adam yelled, throwing her towards the kitchen counter. She threw her hands out to catch herself, screaming as the knife on the counter sliced deeply into her hand. She buckled as he punched her again in the lower back and yanked her head back by her hair. Before she could register what was happening, she was pinned to the floor again, trapped underneath him as he undid his belt.

"No, NO!" she screamed, trying to push him away with her hands only to earn another slap to the face.

Through sobs and tears, she managed to lock on his eyes, seeing for the first time the dilated pupils, the reddened whites of his eyes. He was tweaking badly, and that only scared Haven more. She had no idea what he was capable of while he was on drugs.

His hand closed around her throat as she tried to wriggle away from his terrifying hold. She wanted to scream, and she wanted to cry. She was disappointing everyone she loved, every second she was with him, and only now, did she see what her parents had seen. She wanted to get out of this house and as far away from him as she could possibly get.

Her lungs were burning as her chest tightened. She couldn't breathe, and he was now undoing her jeans, his intention to have sex with her clear as day. There were stars bursting before her eyes as she clawed desperately at his hand in an attempt to make him let go. He was screaming at her but her ears were ringing and her world had gone silent. Black clouds were creeping in on the corners of her vision and she knew she was in a terrible situation.

Her thoughts wandered away from the person so viciously beating her to the family she had left behind.

Her mom had been right.

They had given up so much to help her when Darcy was born, and here she was, being almost beaten to death in a crack house by her drug addled boyfriend.

Darcy.

Tears rose in her chest at the thought of her little baby, her baby whom she had screamed at and claimed she no longer wanted. Haven knew that deep down, that wasn't true. Darcy had changed her life, and while it may have been a rough start to what should have been a beautiful mother daughter relationship, Haven knew that she had to get back home, she had to prove to her parents that she did want her baby girl. Her sweet little girl had already lost her father. Now, Haven knew if she didn't find a way out fast, she was going to lose her mother too.

She knew she'd be incredibly lucky if her parents ever let her near Darcy again.

But somehow, she had to get back to her.

She had to think like her mom.

Forcing herself back into the present, she mustered all her strength, bringing her knee up to hit Adam in the groin. It didn't cripple him like she had hoped, but it made him slacken his grip enough for her to wriggle out of his grasp.

"You little BITCH!" Adam yelled, swinging his boot up to kick Haven hard in the stomach. The wind was knocked completely out of her, but even as she fought for air, she was scrabbling her way across the floor towards the door. Bloody handprints were left in her wake, smeared up the wall as she clambered for something to hold onto.

Managing to pull herself to her feet, she ran, stumbling through the hallways towards Adam's room, his heavy footsteps thumping against the floorboards behind her. Her adrenalin was kicking in, telling her to ignore the blood in her mouth, the pain coursing through her entire body. Everything her mother had ever told her was running through her mind, and Haven's only thought was her own survival.

Crashing through his bedroom door, she slammed it shut behind her, locking it immediately. But knowing Adam was a big guy, she quickly grabbed his chair, wedging it under the handle to barricade the door.

Choking back sobs as Adam started pounding on the door, Haven scrambled around the room, throwing all her belongings in her backpack. Clothes, wallet, phone charger.

Phone.

Where was her phone?

"OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR OR I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" came Adam's tremendous roar from the other side of the door. The door splintered as he threw himself against it, but by some stroke of luck, it held its strength.

Spying her phone under Adam's pillow, she grabbed it and shoved it in the back pocket of her jeans. Opening her bag, she quickly pawed through it to see if there was anything she had left behind.

Realising her favourite shirt, the one her mom had brought back from London while visiting Emily, was still in the washer, Haven decided she would have to do without it. There was no way in hell she was going back through that door. Going back through that door would mean certain death.

Pulling her bag onto her back as the pounding on the door grew louder and more menacing, Haven, without a second thought, picked up Adam's alarm clock and hurled it through the window. The glass shattered, raining down on the carpet and the ground below, but Haven was already climbing through the window. It was pouring with rain, and looking down, she saw that it was quite a height from the ground, but as she looked back over her shoulder, she realised she would rather risk injury by jumping from the window than letting Adam get near her again.

Pushing off the window sill, she hit the ground with a hard thump, just seconds before she heard the door in Adam's room finally give way. Without even bothering to make sure she was unhurt from the jump, she took off at a sprint, disappearing down the darkened street as Adam's cries of rage echoed into the night behind her.

* * *

She was soaked to the bone, aching all over and shivering violently by the time she reached the gate at the front of her house. It was late, almost 11pm, but she knew her parents would still be awake, working on reports for work.

She dragged herself numbly up the front path, pulling her keys from her pocket as she reached the front door. It took a few attempts with shaking hands, but eventually, she got the key into the lock and managed to open the door.

As she closed it behind her, she recognised her father's footsteps approaching the entryway. The light wasn't on, and it was dark, which Haven was momentarily quite grateful for.

"Haven?"

At her husband's shocked voice, JJ slammed her pen down, rising from the table so fast her chair almost toppled over. She was...angry, that was for sure, but tonight, she was going to try and keep it under control. The last thing she wanted was for Haven to take off again.

She stopped in her tracks when Will turned on the light and suddenly brought Haven into view. Her stomach dropped.

Red puffy eyes. One black eye. A split lip. Blood down the front of her clothes. Bruises lining her cheekbones and jaw. Blood trickling from her nose. The way she was clutching her ribs as if she was afraid to let go.

JJ started to cry, her anger ebbing away as she walked forward and wrapped her daughter up in a tight hug.

"Who hurt you?" she sobbed. "Who hurt my baby?"

"It was him," Haven whispered through tears, not even seeing the point in lying to her parents. "I'm sorry, Mom, I'm so sorry"

Will was dumbfounded, but also seething with anger. How anyone could lay a hand to his little girl in that manner was beyond him. If he ever saw Adam again, he knew he would happily go to jail to enact revenge on the younger man for hurting his daughter.

"I need to take you to the hospital," JJ choked out, her hands shaking as she gently rubbed Haven's back.

"No, Mom, it's ok," Haven choked out. "I don't need to go"

JJ said nothing, choosing instead to simply kiss the top of Haven's head and hold her close.

Haven took a deep breath, grateful for her mom's embrace. Twenty four hours ago, she'd wanted nothing to do with her. But the second she had become witness to Adam's drug induced rage, all she'd wanted was the safety of her mom's arms.

"I'll go and get you a blanket and some dry clothes," Will said softly as JJ broke the hug and looked into Haven's swollen face.

"I'm sorry about everything. I know it won't fix what happened... but I really am," Haven said softly.

"I know," JJ replied. "You and I need to sit down and have a long talk tomorrow, ok? But tonight, I'm just so grateful that you're ok," she said, her voice cracking on the last word.

Will returned from the laundry, a thick blanket, a pair of flannelette pyjama pants, and one of his old shirts in his arms.

"Thought this wouldn't hurt as much to pull on," he explained as he passed it all to Haven. Haven could only manage a weak smile, her eyes filling with tears again. Will returned the smile, pulling a bandage from his pocket and wordlessly taking Haven's injured hand. The cut wasn't deep, but even so, he carefully bandaged her hand up before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," she croaked, leaving her bag at the foot of the stairs before heading up to the second floor.

The second she was under the scalding water, she breathed a sigh of relief. Things weren't going to be what they were... but it looked like both her parents were willing to work through everything. And that was all Haven could have asked for, to be given a chance to make things better.

What felt like hours later, she stepped out of the shower, dried herself off and pulled on her pyjamas. She was still shivering, but as she looked in the mirror, she saw that she didn't look as bad as she'd expected. The blood had been washed away, and the heat had brought some colour back to her face.

Draping the blanket around her shoulders, her thoughts drifted to the tattoo on her back. She knew she was going to have to come clean to her parents about that soon; she wouldn't be able to hide it forever.

Heading back to her room, she gently pushed open the door, knowing Darcy would probably be sleeping on the other side. Sure enough the room was dark, and there were no cries or whimpers.

But when she walked over to the crib, she found Darcy wide awake, staring up at her with big brown eyes as she kicked her legs happily.

And right there, right then... Haven felt it. The love she had been missing the first few weeks of Darcy's life. Her baby had grown so much, and Haven hated that she had missed it, that she could never go back and see the last month of Darcy's life.

"Hey baby girl," she said softly, reaching into the crib and easily lifting her daughter out. A lump grew in her throat as she got Darcy settled in her arms. "I'm sorry about the things I said to you"

Darcy snuggled closer to Haven, her little fingers clinging to the fabric of her mom's t-shirt. Haven carried her over to the bed, sitting down with her back against the headboard as she gently rubbed Darcy's back.

"You're my whole world and I couldn't see it," she continued softly. "I was angry and upset because I miss your daddy so much"

And then she broke, the tears coming thicker and faster than ever before.

Lifting Darcy to her chest, she cradled her against her, relishing the feeling when Darcy snuggled beneath her chin.

"I'm sorry I can't be a better mom... but I'm going to try, baby girl, I promise," she sobbed, kissing the top of Darcy's feathery hair.

Darcy's hand found its way to Haven's heart. And in that moment, Haven knew she had done the right thing.

She was home.


	62. Chapter 62

**A/N: I **_**really**_** like this chapter. Like, I think this may be one of the best dialogue focused chapters I've written.**

**Sorry to everyone who's waking up to like five new chapters, I've been on writer speed today. Just kidding. I got a bit of motivation.**

* * *

Silence filled the air between them as they sat on opposite sides of the kitchen table. JJ's coffee was clutched firmly between her hands as she watched Haven cuddling Darcy.

Her eyes kept drifting to the bruises and cuts lining Haven's face. Her heart was broken at the thought that somebody could do that to her child, that somebody could take a hand to another person like that.

But she was also still holding onto her anger. She had to talk it out with Haven without things getting heated. She was sure Haven wouldn't take off again - the hardened shell had dropped to reveal the vulnerable girl beneath – but she didn't want to take that chance.

"Haven," she said softly, getting her daughter's attention. Haven looked up, seeing the serious expression on her mother's face. Without being asked to, she put Darcy down in the little chair that was sitting on the floor beside her.

Once Darcy was strapped in and Haven was giving her mother her full attention, JJ pushed her coffee to one side and sat forward at the table.

"You have caused me and your father a great deal of grief since Connor's funeral," she said simply. "Your dad is really upset with you, and I'm pretty angry myself. But I'm not going to yell at you, because in the past, that hasn't gotten us anywhere"

Haven nodded.

"Firstly, we were frustrated because you weren't stepping up to look after your own child even after you promised us that you would. Now, your dad and I talked about this the other day, and we agreed to overlook that. That agreement you made with us happened well before things started going bad, and I... may have been way out of line when I confronted you after Connor's funeral. We understand that you're grieving, you're seventeen, you're a new mom. It's not a happy mix, and _I_ should have been more understanding of that at the time. But that being said, you need to make more of an effort now that you're back here, understand?"

"Yes," Haven said quietly.

"The thing that pissed me off the night of Connor's funeral was the fact that I could smell alcohol on you when you came home. Haven, it's not rocket science... you're seventeen. Don't do it," JJ continued. Haven nodded immediately, her eyes drifting momentarily to her peacefully sleeping baby before they went back up to meet her mother's.

"I'm going to let the fact that you went to Zack's for a week slide. I'm not letting the fact that you abandoned Darcy with us go, but all I can say is that I'm ok with the fact that you were with Zack, alright? But my biggest gripe is Adam," JJ said, noticing how Haven flinched at the sound of his name. Her stomach sank a little. What exactly had he done to her?

"You left. For a month. With a boy we don't know. We didn't know where you were. We didn't know if you were safe, or even if you were alive. You didn't have the decency to call us. Maybe, if you had called, or sent a text to say that you were ok, I might be a little more forgiving. But as it goes, you didn't even have the decency to reply to Amber. She was around here every day after school, looking after Darcy for an hour so that your dad and I could have a little break, and she was so worried about you Haven. She's your best friend, if you weren't going to talk to us, I thought you would at least talk to her," JJ said sadly. "But Haven, the thing that upsets me the most is that you left Darcy. You left her here without any regard for the fact that she might need her mom. You are very lucky that your brother adores her, because she's had colic pretty much since you left, and he was about the only person she would settle for most of the time. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you can't breastfeed anymore, can you?"

Haven shook her head.

"That's something that you gave up by leaving her for that long, and I don't want to use that to make you feel guilty, but I just want you to have a bit of a think about that, ok?"

Sighing heavily, JJ looked down at her hands before looking up at Haven once more. "There's one more thing I'm going to say to you, and I want you to take me very seriously"

Haven straightened up slightly, her eyes growing ever so slightly wider.

"Your dad and I were talking last night about what to do about all of this. We're not going to punish you, because I think, judging by your face, you've been through enough as it is, and we know you're still not quite over what happened with Connor. But, if you ever abandon Darcy like that again, your dad and I agreed that we will have your parental rights to Darcy terminated, because she deserves so much better than that," JJ said firmly.

Haven's eyes filled with tears as she looked from her mother to Darcy. She didn't want her daughter to be taken away from her, not even by her parents.

"I don't want you to do that," she said anxiously, her voice catching in her throat. "I want to make this all better... I want to be a good mom and I want to show you and Dad that I'm serious about making things right"

JJ nodded once. "Good. That's what I wanted to hear. Now," she said, her demeanour softening. "I wanted to apologise for a few things I did. Slapping you being one of them"

Her eyes drifted to the faint white line across Haven's cheek, and a pang of guilt went through her heart.

"That was wrong of me, and I'm really sorry for that. Your dad and I have never laid a hand to either of you, and for me to do so now was highly inappropriate. I honestly didn't mean to cut you either"

"I know," Haven said softly. "It's ok"

"I'm also sorry for saying things like... accusing you of being a slut or a fuck up. You know that I would never say something like that and mean it, and I really wish I hadn't said it. You're neither of those things Haven, you're my daughter, and I really regret saying that to you," JJ said sadly.

"Mom, please don't feel guilty about it... I behaved like a fuck up for the past six weeks, you weren't totally out of line... and as for being a slut... I don't sleep around, but... I did sleep with him the day I left, so I'm not really sure how I feel about that," Haven admitted.

"It still doesn't make you a slut, Haven. Honestly? I think you were at your lowest then, and I think you were feeling a little needy. You wanted to feel... loved," JJ said quietly.

Haven took a deep breath, nodding in agreement. "I'm sorry too. For everything. For saying those awful things to you. For running off. For not stepping up to the plate. I know you and Dad have agreed to let some of it slide, but I don't want to make excuses. I did screw up, and I disappointed you, and I promise now... I'm going to turn that right around. I'm going to make more of an effort to be a better mom for Darcy, and to be a better person overall. I miss having that close relationship with you... and I know it will take time, but I really want that back"

"I'm happy to leave things in the clear after this conversation is over, but I'll need to see that you really are making changes before you're completely forgiven. You know you can always come to me, and that still stands. I'm not going to turn you away because we've had a bit of a rough patch," JJ replied.

Haven fell silent for a moment, biting her lip as she considered what she wanted to say next.

"In that case... there's something I should probably tell you, but I don't want you to be mad," she said timidly.

JJ raised an eyebrow, reaching for her coffee cup and taking another sip.

Haven let out a breath. "I... got a tattoo... while I was with... him"

She watched her mother's jaw tighten. JJ looked down at her coffee cup, clearing her throat.

"Not saying anything," she muttered, locking her fingers together around the mug.

"It's nothing bad, I promise," Haven said quickly. "I didn't get a tramp stamp, or a swear word on my ass, it's... it's actually Darcy's name, with a blackbird"

JJ looked up suddenly, surprised that after Haven's recent behaviour, she seemed to have made... an ok choice in terms of what to permanently ink into her skin.

"Where is it?" she asked softly.

"On my shoulder," Haven replied, turning so her back was towards her mother as she pulled the T-shirt up to show her.

JJ's expression softened as she took in the gentle cursive lettering, the blackbird fluttering off of the tail of the Y.

"It is pretty," she said reluctantly. "But how on earth did you get it? You're not eighteen"

"I... have a fake ID?" Haven replied nervously.

"You'll be cutting that up today," JJ said immediately. "How did you pay for the tattoo?"

"He bought it," Haven said quietly, her eyes darting back down to the table.

Frowning slightly, JJ set her mug back down, leaning in towards Haven.

"Haven... why won't you say his name?"

Haven swallowed thickly, avoiding her mother's gaze as she played with a loose thread on the hem of her father's shirt.

"I just... he beat the shit out of me... you wouldn't want to say his name either," she said lamely.

"A man chained me up for twenty four hours, waterboarded me, electrocuted me, and tried to sexually assault me, Haven, and I can still say that piece of shit's name," JJ replied. "I know you're not being honest with me"

It took a few moments before Haven started to cry, the tears dripping down and leaving dark little stains on the grey fabric of the shirt.

"I think... I think he raped me," she sobbed, not noticing when JJ almost dropped her coffee. "But I'm not sure"

"Why aren't you sure, milagro?" JJ said gently, reaching across the table to take Haven's uninjured hand.

"Because... it wasn't violent. He didn't hurt me... I just never said yes," Haven said tearfully.

"That's rape, honey," JJ said thickly, rising from her chair and moving around towards Haven. She easily got Haven to scoot over, taking the seat and pulling Haven into her lap.

"I also... kept waking up feeling bad... and I thought I wasn't sleeping well, but I think he was drugging me," Haven choked out.

"We can go to the police station this afternoon and report this," JJ said, her voice strangled as though she was trying not to cry.

"No," Haven said immediately. "I don't care if he gets to keep his freedom... reporting it means he's tied to me for longer. I just want him out of my life. Besides... he only beat me because he was off his face on meth. If he keeps that up, he'll ruin his own life with no help from me"

"If you're sure," JJ pushed.

"Yeah," Haven replied. "I'm sure"

They sat in silence for a few moments, JJ holding onto Haven and providing the comfort and security her daughter so clearly needed.

"I hope you know I do love you," JJ said quietly after some time had passed.

"I know," Haven said softly. "I love you too"


	63. Chapter 63

**A/N: A little filler chapter to break up all the intense stuff!**

* * *

"Hey hey, there's blondie!"

A grin spread across JJ's face as she approached her desk and put her bag down. "Do you have to do that every time I walk in? Everyone already knows I'm blonde"

Morgan laughed. "I'm just making sure they don't forget"

"Hey, is everything ok? We were a little worried when you didn't come in yesterday," Kate said gently.

JJ sighed. "My irresponsible child showed up on the doorstep at eleven pm on Tuesday night crying and covered in bruises"

She could've sworn their jaws dropped. The team were familiar with the ongoing story of Haven's running off, and had frequently become JJ's venting ground during a case.

"What happened to her?" Morgan asked.

Taking a deep breath, JJ leant back against her desk. "The absolute asshole she took off with tweaked on meth and beat the living shit out of her"

Kate gasped, her hand slowly rising to her mouth as her jaw dropped. Morgan looked utterly horrified, while Spencer and Garcia, who were just walking up to them, both wore mixed expression that read of shock and confusion.

"Please tell me you aren't talking about my little buttercup," Garcia almost pleaded as she approached JJ. JJ nodded slowly, reaching over and squeezing Garcia's hand.

"Is she alright?" Spencer asked softly.

JJ nodded. "She's ok, just a little shaken up by the whole thing. Last time I saw her, she was right in my face telling me to go fuck myself, and yesterday she pretty much wouldn't stop crying. I wish it hadn't happened, but I'm so grateful she's home"

"How angry are you with her right now?" Kate asked knowingly.

JJ shook her head. "I'm not today. We sat and had a long talk yesterday. That's why I couldn't come in. I told her why I had been so mad at her the last few times I saw her, I apologised for some of the things I have done and said, and I told her that Will and I would have Darcy taken away from her if she did anything like that again. It was all cards on the table, and thankfully, I think we're in a much better place with each other"

"Can't ask for more than that, can you?" Kate said with a smile.

JJ smiled back. "No, I can't. I'm just really, really grateful that I still have my daughter. I realised yesterday when I saw how badly the bruises had come up that that piece of shit could so easily have killed her. We're really lucky she's still alive"

* * *

"Haven, you have visitors," Henry called up the stairs as the sound of the front door closing echoed through the house.

"Coming!" Haven called back, gently laying her sleeping baby in the crib before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she looked to her right, only to see Zack and Amber standing in the lounge room waiting for her.

"Hey," she said happily, a sense of warmth flooding through her.

"Shit girl, he really fucking went for you didn't he? I'll kill him," Amber said seriously, wrapping her arms around Haven and holding her for a few moments. "How are you?"

"I'm ok. Things are heaps better with my mom... I think everything is gonna work out ok," Haven said as she pulled away. "I'm feeling a lot better about being a mom... Darcy grew so much while I was gone, and I'm actually kind of upset that I missed it"

Walking over, Zack pulled Haven into a tight hug and kissing her cheek. "We're just really glad you're ok"

"I missed you guys," Haven said softly. "I'm sorry I didn't reply to any of your messages"

"It's ok. We knew something was going down, we just hoped you were ok," Zack said, squeezing Haven's hand as he pulled away.

"What have I missed at school?" Haven asked nervously as they sat down on the sofa.

Amber bit her lip. "Honestly... a shit ton. You're gonna have to go and see the guidance counsellor when you come back"

Haven's face fell.

"It's alright, Haven, you're smart, you'll pick it up quick," Zack said reassuringly. "We'll help you as much as we can so you can graduate with us, ok?"

"Thanks guys," Haven said, managing a smile.

"How's Darcy?" Amber asked.

"She's good. Cute as ever. I actually just put her down for a sleep, or I would've brought her down with me"

"So you're coping a lot better then?"

Haven smiled. "Yeah. It's still hard. I still miss Connor. But it's not as painful... doesn't feel as raw as when it first happened"

"We feel you," Zack said quietly.

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for Haven. You're a lot like your mom, and I think that's gonna be a huge help in getting you through this year," Amber said warmly.

Haven beamed at her friends. "I won't be able to do it without you guys either"

"Always here for you Haven"


	64. Chapter 64

**A/N: Enjoy!**

* * *

_His hand closed around her throat as she tried to wriggle away from his terrifying hold. She wanted to scream, and she wanted to cry. She was disappointing everyone she loved, every second she was with him, and only now, did she see what her parents had seen. She wanted to get out of this house and as far away from him as she could possibly get._

_Her lungs were burning as her chest tightened. She couldn't breathe, and he was now undoing her jeans, his intention to have sex with her clear as day. There were stars bursting before her eyes as she clawed desperately at his hand in an attempt to make him let go. He was screaming at her but her ears were ringing and her world had gone silent. Black clouds were creeping in on the corners of her vision and she knew she was in a terrible situation. _

_A flash of silver caught her attention, just moments before he sliced a blade through the skin of her stomach. She screamed as he let go and plunged a hand deep inside her. Moments later, he was pulling something from within her, dripping with blood as he clutched it in his hand._

"_Just taking what's rightfully mine bitch"_

Jerking upright with a horrified gasp, Haven threw the covers back, leaping from her bed and running towards the bathroom down the hall. She barely made it before she collapsed in front of the toilet and violently threw up the contents of her stomach.

She stayed hunched over, resting against the toilet bowl as she took a few deep breaths to calm herself down.

"Haven?"

Lifting her head, Haven turned to see her brother approaching.

"I'm alright," she croaked. "Just had a bad dream"

"About Adam?" Henry asked softly, sitting down beside her.

"Yeah," Haven whispered, reaching up and flushing the toilet as Henry grabbed some tissues from up on the counter and passed them to her. "I'm going back to school today. I don't think I'm ready... but I have to go... for Darcy. I have to finish my education for her"

"Another week wouldn't hurt, Haven," Henry said gently.

"I won't ever go back if I just keep putting it off," Haven replied. "I just have to get on with it"

"You'll be ok, Haven. You're a LaMontagne," Henry chuckled.

"Everyone says that," Haven sighed.

"Because it's true," Henry said gently. "Look at all the shit you've survived"

"I guess...," Haven shrugged.

"Go get some sleep. You've got a big day ahead," Henry encouraged, getting up and helping Haven to her feet.

"Thanks Henry," Haven breathed, wrapping her arms around her brother.

"Anytime"

* * *

She'd spent the better part of the day avoiding judgemental looks and attempting to hide the bruises on her face. Her morning had started with the guidance counsellor, building an education plan to help her make up for lost time, accommodate potential time off for Darcy, and make sure that she would be able to graduate by the end of the school year.

Her mom had picked her up at the end of her lunch period to take her to her rescheduled postpartum checkup, and now, Haven was sitting on the bed, her feet in stirrups as Kerry prepared to start the exam. JJ sat in the chair next to Kerry's desk, Darcy cradled in her arms as she wriggled and squirmed happily.

"Ok, I'm going to do your pelvic exam first, and we'll get a pap smear done while we do that," Kerry said gently. Haven nodded, settling back against the gurney as Kerry started the exam.

She sat there quietly as Kerry worked her way through the checklist, answering questions when she was asked, following any instructions when they were given.

After a few minutes had passed, Kerry suddenly looked up at Haven, one hand frozen on her lower abdomen, just above her pubic bone. Her eyes were wide and anxious as she looked at her patient.

Pulling away from Haven, she snapped off her gloves and walked over to JJ.

"JJ, I just forgot, there's forms at the front desk that you'll need to go over for Haven since she's still a minor. If I take you out there, could you fill them out while I finish the exam?" she said easily.

"Sure," JJ said with a smile, rising from the chair and walking over to the door as Kerry pulled it open. "Just at reception?"

"Yeah, just back at the front," Kerry replied. Haven watched as the doctor disappeared for a few minutes, presumably talking to the receptionist, before re-entering the room and closing the door.

"Haven...," she started softly. "Have you been sexually active since Darcy was born?"

Haven hesitated for a moment before answering. "... yeah... a few times"

Kerry took a deep breath, walking closer to Haven. "Your pelvic exam isn't a normal presentation for eight weeks post birth... your uterus hasn't shrunk to the pre-pregnancy size, your cervix doesn't feel like it should normally... Haven, is there any possibility _at all_ that you could be pregnant?"

Haven physically felt the colour run from her face. Her hands began to shake rather violently as Kerry placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Maybe," she choked out. "We... we had unprotected sex"

"Ok," Kerry breathed. "I'm not going to say anything to your mom, but I'll need to do some bloodwork, and I will call you directly as soon as I know anything, alright?"

Haven nodded, the lump in her throat growing even as she forcibly tried to swallow it down.

"I'll finish the exam, and then you can ask me any questions you might have. Try and relax, ok? It could just be that everything you've been through has slowed down the normal recovery process," Kerry said reassuringly.

Half an hour later, Haven was walking back out to the car with her mom, having asked Kerry her questions and been given a physical ok. She had managed to keep up her facade, but now, just a few steps behind her mother, Darcy asleep on her chest, she was starting to panic.

She couldn't do this again. Not a chance in hell.


	65. Chapter 65

**A/N: Just putting this to public vote. Who of you would like it if I just continued writing Forever My Girl for as long as I can? Following Haven's journey of being a mom. I ask this because I have thought of scenes as far ahead as Darcy's teen years, but by the time we reach that point, JJ and Will won't be in it as often, which leaves it with a very loose tie to Criminal Minds.**

**It is totally up to you! I'm more than keen to write that far ahead because I want to share the development of these characters I've created. I'm sure I would have an audience for that either way!**

**Let me know in your reviews!**

* * *

One of the things Haven had questioned Kerry about was if it was possible to bring back her milk supply and resume breastfeeding Darcy. Ever since returning home, she had found herself filled with regret at the fact that she couldn't breastfeed anymore, and had decided it was worth asking whether it could be done. Kerry's answer had been promising; with dedication and support from lactation specialists, it was possible.

And so it was that while Darcy slept, Haven was researching, gathering as much information about relactation as she possibly could.

She had forced herself to push the potential pregnancy from her mind, knowing there was nothing she could do until she heard from Kerry. Not pregnant until proven positive she had decided.

As she was reading a page about how skin to skin contact was incredibly powerful in bringing back a milk supply, she heard a car door slam followed by a shout coming from downstairs.

Checking that Darcy was still sleeping, she rose slowly from her bed and made her way towards the door. Realising at that point that the shouting had carried outside, she quickened her pace and made her way down the stairs.

The front door was open and she could see her family out in the driveway. As she walked out onto the porch, it was then that she realised who they were yelling at.

Adam.

"You better get the hell out of my driveway and if you _ever _come near my daughter again, I will kill you, ok, and I mean EVERY word!" Will was shouting, getting right up in Adam's face as Adam tried to flatten himself against his car. He had a bloody nose, and it only took one look at Henry to know that he was the one who'd done it.

"Haven?" Adam said suddenly, having just spotted her standing at the bottom of the front steps. Will whirled around, backing away as Haven slowly approached the man who had caused her so much physical pain.

"Haven... I... I found your shirt, and I know you said it was your favourite, so I wanted to bring it back to you... and I wanted to say that I'm sorry-"

"Don't," Haven cut in forcefully, grabbing the shirt from his hands and glaring at him with a look that so resembled her mother. "I don't want your apology"

"I didn't mean to hurt you like that, Haven, I'm so sorry," Adam pleaded, reaching for her hand.

"Fuck you!" Haven spat. "You could've killed me, you piece of shit, and you know what, I don't care how you view it, but you raped me as well, so I don't want your apology, I don't want you in my life, so LEAVE!"

"Haven-"

"FUCKING GO! AND DON'T COME BACK!" Haven screamed, pushing him back towards his car with such force he almost toppled over. Tears were running down her cheeks now, her heart pounding in her ears as Adam clambered into his car and started the ignition.

Turning back to face her family as he started to pull away, she broke down, the shirt clutched loosely in her hand as her mother stepped forward and pulled her into a tight hug.

"You're ok," JJ whispered. "He's gone"

Shocked at Haven's revelation, Will looked between his wife and daughter for a moment, before closing in on them and wrapping his arms around both of them. Henry followed suit, and then they stood there, a tight huddle on their driveway, united as a family to protect each other despite their issues behind closed doors.

* * *

It was just before six that evening when Haven's phone rang out as she was working through some of her schoolwork. Picking it up, her stomach dropped when she recognised the number as the doctor's office.

Moment of truth.

Taking a deep breath, she accepted the call and pressed the phone to her ear, quickly getting up and checking the hallway to make sure her parents were still downstairs.

"Hello?" she answered, closing the door again before going over to sit down on her bed. Darcy was wriggling around on a blanket on the floor, one of her toys clutched in her left hand.

"_Hi Haven, it's Kerry"_

"Hi Kerry... I'm guessing you're calling with the results?" Haven asked nervously.

"_Yeah kiddo, I put a 24 hour rush on them, and they came back just now. Haven... honey I'm sorry... the tests were positive. You're in the very early stages of another pregnancy"_

Haven crumpled, burying her face in her free hand as a lump started to form in her throat.

Not again. There was no way she could do this again.

"_I can make another appointment for you if you like, and you can come in and we can discuss what you want to do"_

"I have to terminate Kerry, I can't do this again," Haven replied through tears.

"_How about we talk about all your options first? I know it's a rough situation, but we can find a resolution, ok? The other thing I'm going to offer... would you like me to be the one to tell your mom, or would you like to do that yourself?"_

Haven swallowed thickly. She knew Kerry wouldn't make that offer for any other patient, and knowing that she was willing to put herself in that difficult spot meant a lot to Haven. But on the other hand, maybe she could sort the whole situation out without anyone knowing.

No. She knew her mother. She would find out eventually.

But she didn't know how on earth she was supposed to make herself say those words again. It hadn't gone over well the first time, and after her behaviour since Darcy's birth, she knew it was hardly likely to have a better reception the second time.

"I can't tell her Kerry... but I don't want to ask you to do that either," Haven choked out.

"_Haven, I've made plenty of difficult calls in my career. Your mom and I have been friends for a long time. If you want me to do it, I will. I can do it tonight if you want it over and done with"_

Swallowing thickly, Haven let out a sob. "Please"

"_Ok sweetie, I'll give her a call tonight. Hopefully everything works out for you, ok, I know it's been pretty rough lately"_

"Thank you Kerry," Haven said softly, wiping her eyes on her sleeve as Kerry bid goodbye and they hung up the call.

After a moment of silence, she grabbed her pillow and hurled it across the room.

"Fuck!" she cursed under her breath, balling up her fists and punching the mattress.

How was it that she kept managing to fuck up everything? It was like she was tainted, and everything she touched turned bad.

Taking a deep breath, Haven fell backwards onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Now she had to wait.

* * *

By a stroke of luck, Henry had asked Will to run a few evening errands with him after dinner, mostly to do with the paperwork for Henry's apartment, which he hoped would be his within the month.

That had left Haven, JJ, and Darcy in the lounge room, Haven giving Darcy a bottle while JJ absently watched the usual crap that was on the television at that time of night.

When JJ's phone rang, Haven flinched, her heart jumping a mile. Luckily, her mother didn't notice.

"Oh hey Kerry, how are you?" JJ answered with a smile. "Not often I hear from you outside of work hours"

Haven focused on Darcy's drooping eyes. She didn't want to look at her mother, and she was sure if she did, JJ would see the colour draining from her face.

"Yeah, it's just me and Haven," JJ said after a few moments silence. She sat back against the sofa, listening intently as Kerry spoke on the other end of the line.

"Her blood test?"

Any second now. It was coming. Haven was sure she was going to vomit, her stomach was churning so badly.

"Oh my god," she heard JJ breathe. "You're sure?"

Swallowing thickly, Haven desperately tried to fight back the tears burning her eyes.

"Does she know?"

Chancing a look up, Haven nearly jumped out of her skin when she found her mother looking straight at her. She couldn't read the expression. Angry? Hurt?

Anxious?

"Thank you for telling me Kerry. I really appreciate it," JJ said softly. Haven watched as her mother bid her goodbyes and hung up the call, dropping the phone beside her on the couch before leaning forward and burying her face in her hands.

It was an excruciating wait. Haven didn't know whether to speak or not, and so chose to sit silently as Darcy drifted off to sleep.

After what felt like hours, JJ lifted her face. Haven was shocked to see she was crying.

"Really, Haven? Really?" she said tearfully, before getting to her feet and leaving the room. Haven winced as she heard one of the chairs in the kitchen being pushed roughly out of the way before the back door opened and slammed shut again.

Letting out a shaky breath, Haven cradled Darcy to her chest, pressing a kiss to her forehead as tears leaked from her eyes.

"I'm sorry I keep screwing up"


	66. Chapter 66

**A/N: This chapter did not want to happen but by some miracle of god, it happened.**

* * *

It was cold when Haven finally followed her mom outside, having gotten Darcy to sleep with relative ease. She had pulled on a sweater before leaving her room, and had grabbed the throw blanket from the end of her bed, knowing her mom had gone outside without a jacket.

As she let the door close behind her and walked slowly across the patio to the steps, Haven realised how small her mom looked, sitting there huddled on the bottom step.

Approaching her, she gently draped the blanket around her mom before taking a seat beside her. She didn't say anything, instead staring out across the yard as the last dregs of light disappeared from the sky.

"I'm not angry," JJ said softly, breaking the silence after a few minutes. Her voice was thick, and Haven knew she'd been crying.

"I'm not," she continued. "I'm just... heartbroken... that your life is going this way"

Haven breathed in deeply, willing herself not to cry as she pulled her knees up to her chest.

"We used protection... when I knew about it... I didn't mean for this to happen... and I didn't make any choices if there was a risk of pregnancy," she said, her voice shaking with the effort of trying to stay calm. "I've disappointed you again... and I'm sorry"

"What are you going to do? You'll be eighteen with two kids under two, Haven, is that really what you want for yourself, for Darcy?" JJ asked, turning to face her daughter.

"No," Haven stammered, before bursting into tears. "I have to terminate, Mom, and I'm sorry, I know how you feel about abortion... but I can't bring his child into the world. I just can't. Not to mention Darcy's only two months old. I really want to change, I want to get myself back on track, and it's just not going to happen if I have this baby... I'll do more harm than good"

Lifting the blanket, JJ wrapped her arms around Haven and pulled her close, fresh tears falling down her pale cheeks to leave dark glistening patches on Haven's hair.

"I know," she whispered through her tears, clutching her daughter as Haven sobbed into her shoulder. "The thought of abortion makes me sick... we tried so hard to have you, and you're going to take a new life from the world. I know why, and I understand, and I'll support you because I know it's what you need to do, but I'm heartbroken Haven, I really am"

"Please don't tell Dad about this," Haven begged, her voice muffled.

"I won't, I promise," JJ breathed, her walls crumbling down as she caved and cried with her child. "Just promise me you're going to make changes. Darcy needs you, and I want my Haven back"

"I'm still your Haven," Haven whispered, turning her head to look out at the garden as they sat snuggled together on the porch steps.

JJ took a deep breath, sniffing as she reached up to wipe away her tears.

"I don't recognise you anymore... and it breaks me apart inside"

* * *

Her mother's words were still ringing in her ears the following evening, and Haven had spent the better part of the day on the verge of tears. Her mom had been stiffened all day, and it killed Haven just a little to realise that once again, their relationship had a fatal flaw.

After having a shower, she decided to push everything to one side for the evening and focus wholly on her little girl. She hadn't yet had a chance to bond properly with Darcy, and having done extensive research on reinducing her milk supply, she wanted to try out a few of the things she had read about.

Locking her bedroom door, she pulled on a pair of panties and hung her towel on the door handle. Walking over to Darcy's crib, where Darcy was just dozing in and out of a light sleep, she lifted the baby up and carried her over to the bed. She made short work of getting Darcy down to nothing but her diaper, before sliding beneath the covers of her bed and cradling Darcy against her chest, immediately loving how soft and warm Darcy's baby skin felt against her own.

"How's that baby girl?" she cooed with a smile, noticing how Darcy stopped wriggling and instead just lay against her mom with a content look on her face.

It was beautiful, just the two of them there beneath the covers in their safe little cocoon of privacy and bonding. Darcy's little fist was splayed against Haven's heart, her head tucked beneath Haven's chin. It made Haven feel... at ease. For the first time in what felt like forever, she was content. Not scared about her pregnancy, nor scared of Adam.

Her heart was completely full of love for her little girl, and she was starting to understand the 'momma bear' response; she wanted to protect Darcy from everything terrible that could happen to her, from everything evil that could touch her.

More than anything, she hoped her little girl grew up to understand that despite her troubles, her mom did love her. She hoped that if Darcy ever found out exactly what had happened during the first couple of months of her life, she wouldn't hold it against Haven.

"You're my whole world now," Haven whispered, stroking Darcy's little head and then placing her hand on Darcy's back. "My beautiful, precious baby girl"

Darcy yawned, her eyes drooping as she wriggled around to get comfortable on Haven's chest.

"I love you more than anything, baby girl," Haven said adoringly. "I may not have shown it at first... but I know it now. You're my everything"

Darcy's closed fist moved a little closer to Haven's collarbone, seemingly rubbing across her heart for a second.

"I hear you," Haven whispered, kissing the top of Darcy's head. "I love you"

And as she lay there, the weight of her daughter on her chest, Haven started drifting off herself, content and happy to be there with just Darcy, her own little cocoon of safety in a world full of evil and hurt.


	67. Chapter 67

**A/N: My writing kick for this is slowing, but it's picking up for SCSWD so stay tuned!**

* * *

Will knew something was up.

JJ had been very highly strung over the previous couple of days, sounding strained when she spoke, and visibly showing signs of stress. He'd also noticed that Haven seemed to be more withdrawn, but considering what she had apparently been through with Adam, he had chosen not to question it.

Walking into their bedroom late one night, he found JJ sitting cross legged on the edge of the bed, staring into nothing, a troubled expression crossing her pretty face.

"Hey," he said softly, sitting down beside her and taking her hand. "What's goin' on with you lately?"

"Just tired," JJ mumbled lamely, too emotionally drained to think up a better excuse. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

"Come on JJ... I know you better than that," he pushed gently. "I know there's somethin'"

JJ pushed her lips together, looking down at the floor as she fought to keep herself composed. She'd promised Haven she wouldn't say anything, and it was a promise she intended to keep. But it was eating away at her from the inside out, and her stomach felt like a ball of nerves. She knew Will, and she knew their family. Sooner or later, he was going to find out.

But hell, it wasn't going to be from her.

"I hate seeing you troubled, JJ. You know you can talk to me," Will coaxed, putting his free hand on JJ's back, stroking gently with his thumb.

"I'm... fine," she breathed, her voice fading as the lump in her throat grew. She blinked rapidly, swallowing hard to fight back her tears.

"No you're not," Will replied.

And then she broke, bursting into tears as Will hurriedly gathered her into his arms. They were cascading down her cheeks with a ferocity like no other. Will was taken aback; he'd known something was on her mind, but not something this upsetting.

"That sick son of a bitch got her pregnant," she whispered through her tears, barely able to speak as she clung onto her husband. "She's going to terminate... we tried so hard to have her, and she's taking an innocent life from this world... I understand why, but... it's so hard... why is this happening to our baby?"

Will's stomach dropped like a rock as he held his wife tight. Again. Once again, they were losing their grip on normality and their lives were spiralling.

He couldn't even be mad. Not at Haven at least. He knew that she wouldn't have risked pregnancy knowing how hard it was to have a baby.

"I promised her I wouldn't tell you," JJ choked out. "I can't even keep a secret for her... how am I supposed to help her through this?"

"This is no ordinary secret, JJ. You'll be able to help her because you're her momma, it's what you do best," Will said reassuringly. "And for the record, if I ever see that Adam again, he'll wish he was dead"

JJ said no more. All she could do was cry, and all Will could do was hold her.

He only hoped they could find a way through this mess.

* * *

Nearly an hour later, it was almost midnight and JJ had finally fallen asleep. Unable to sleep himself, Will had gotten up and walked down the hall to Haven's room.

Listening at the door, he could hear Haven talking softly to Darcy. Taking a deep breath, he knocked gently on the door, and after getting Haven's ok, walked into the room.

"Oh hey Dad," Haven said softly as she leant over the crib to put Darcy down for a sleep. "Don't worry, I'm going to bed now"

Will opened his mouth to reply, but all he managed to do was open the floodgates. He crumpled, holding the doorframe for support as he stood in the doorway in tears.

"Dad?" Haven asked in shock, walking over to him, her eyes growing bright in the dim light from the hallway. "Dad, what's wrong?"

"I spoke to your mom...," Will choked out, looking up just enough to make eye contact with his daughter. "She told me what's happened... I know you asked her... to keep it a secret, but... it was tearin' her apart"

Haven started to cry as well, slowly turning and walking back over to her bed.

"I'm sorry Dad," she sobbed, collapsing onto the mattress and burying her face in her hands. "I didn't mean it"

"I know," Will said thickly, joining her on the edge of the mattress. "It's breakin' my heart, Haven... I know I said some awful things to you when you told us about Darcy... but I have the same standpoint as your mom. We went through hell to have you, and I know you can't bear the thought of going through another pregnancy right now, but... it really does break my heart that you're going to terminate"

"If Darcy was older... and it wasn't Adam's... I would go through with it," Haven said tearfully. "But I can't. I need to be the best person I can be for Darcy, I need to take time to focus on myself and on Darcy... I have to make changes and finish my education... I need to build a life before I even think about another baby. It kills me too Dad... but for me, there isn't another choice"

Pulling Haven into his arms, Will kissed the top of her head as he tried to find his composure again.

"Promise me something Haven... when this is all over... you'll use it as motivation to get yourself back on track. You're not the Haven your mom and I thought you would be... you're not the same as you were a year ago. But we love you nonetheless and we know you can still do all the things you want to do... you're just gonna have to work a little harder for it," he said softly.

"I will. I promise," Haven whispered.

Silence washed over them. Will was partly broken, and mostly angry.

If he ever saw Adam, he would beat the life out of him just like Adam had tried to do to Haven.

He would make that boy wish he had never laid eyes on his daughter. That, Will knew for sure.


	68. Chapter 68

**A/N: This chapter is long and emotional but I hope you like it!**

* * *

"_Mommy, come on, she's waiting for us! She's waiting, come on, you have to hurry!"_

_Haven looked down at the little girl who was pulling on her hand, immediately recognising Connor's eyes looking back at her. Was that..._

"_Darcy?"_

"_Why are you being weird Mommy, come on!" Darcy exclaimed, tugging Haven up the hill. She looked to be only five or six, and had certainly inherited her mother's impatience._

_Looking around, Haven realised she was in a wide open field. Ahead of them, the ground sloped up towards a large willow tree, sheltering the trunk from the evening light. The sun was setting, casting a beautiful orange glow over the world around her_

_Following Darcy along the grass, Haven felt lighter and happier than she had in a long time She felt free. Like in this moment, in this place... all was right with the world._

_They reached the hanging leaves of the willow. Reaching out, Haven parted them like curtains, stepping into the sanctuary beneath the canopy._

_A tyre swing hung from one of the central branches, drifting softly back and forth. In it was a little girl who looked to be not much younger than Darcy, with dark hair and dark eyes that so resembled Haven's._

"_I waited for you," she giggled, jumping off the swing and running to Haven, throwing her arms around her legs and beaming up at her. "Hi Mommy"_

_Slowly kneeling down as Darcy let go of her hand and ran for the swing, Haven was struggling to fight back the tears that so wanted to break free. Was this the little life she had created with him?_

"_Hi baby girl," she breathed, reaching out and cupping her daughter's cheek. "You're beautiful"_

"_Mommy, will you let me stay? I like playing on the swing," the little girl replied. "Uncle Michael said he'll stay with me"_

_At the mention of her would be older brother's name, Haven looked up to see a young man stepping through the willow leaves. He was handsome, and so much like his father. Dark hair, hazel eyes, and a fair complexion coupled with stubble made Haven feel as though she was looking at the younger version of her dad._

"_You want to stay?" Haven asked thickly. _

_The little girl nodded, giggling and jumping into her mother's lap._

"_You're not ready for me... so I'll stay here," she said softly, reaching up and placing a chubby little hand on Haven's cheek. "My daddy hurt you Mommy. He doesn't deserve me"_

_Taking a deep breath, Haven pulled her little girl into a hug, nuzzling her soft skin, her dark curls, giving her what she knew would be the only hug she'd ever be able to give._

"_I love you," she whispered, kissing her cheek._

"_Love you Mommy," her little one giggled, giving Haven a kiss before jumping up and running over to Michael. "Mommy said I can stay!"_

_Standing up, Haven held her hand out to Darcy, who jumped off the swing and ran to her._

"_It's time to go," she said softly._

"_Ok," Darcy replied, slipping her hand into Haven's as they walked back towards the willow leaves._

_Just before they slipped back through the leaves, Haven looked back, wanting to catch one last glimpse of her daughter and her brother._

_All she saw was a flash of dark curls disappearing behind the swinging leaves of the willow tree._

* * *

Her eyes fluttered open to total darkness, and for a moment, Haven just lay there, completely still, completely numb. She'd just seen her daughter... and her brother.

But how was that possible? Her brother had never lived...

And neither would her little girl.

Somehow, she was completely at ease with what she was about to do. It was all arranged, all booked, and she would be going after school on Thursday.

On the other hand... she had just seen the little girl who was currently growing inside of her... touched her soft skin, fallen in love with the way her messy brown curls tumbled down around her cute face.

"_You're not ready for me"_

She knew she wasn't ready. She had promised herself, promised Darcy that she would take the time to heal, move on from her horrible experiences, and learn to be a better person and mother.

Having another baby would definitely throw a spanner in the works.

"_He doesn't deserve me"_

Adam definitely didn't deserve to have a child. But was that really a good enough reason to keep her baby from the world?

She knew she couldn't go through with the pregnancy, but part of her felt sick about taking such a beautiful life to be out of the world.

Rolling over and burying her face in her pillow, all Haven could do was cry.

She'd never felt so torn in her life.

* * *

"Oh, Dad, I forgot I need to go to the post office, I'll be right back," Henry said as he and Will walked through the parking lot back to the car. They had decided to take a load off of JJ's shoulders and do the grocery shopping after running a few last errands to close the deal on Henry's apartment.

"Alright, I'll meet you at the car," Will chuckled as Henry turned and headed for the bank. "Boy would forget his head if it wasn't screwed on"

Reaching the car, Will set the groceries down on the ground for a moment so he could find his keys. They were in his pocket somewhere.

As he was digging through the depths of his side pockets, he happened to glance up and see someone watching him from the next row over with a mix of curiosity and anxiousness.

He knew that face.

Abandoning the groceries, he sprang forward, darting between cars with surprising ease. Even though the younger man tried to get away, it was just seconds before Will had thrown him against the door of his car by the front of his shirt.

"You're pretty fuckin' lucky to be alive right now kid," he growled, pushing him hard up against the side of the car.

"I haven't been anywhere near Haven!" Adam exclaimed, trying to press himself into the car in an attempt to make himself as small as possible.

"No but I know what you did to her!" Will yelled, shaking Adam roughly and slamming him back once more. "What'd you do, roofie her? Give her a sedative? Make you feel like a big man, does it? That's the only way a coward like you has any hope!"

Adam paled visibly, his mouth remaining firmly closed. Will got even closer, so his face was barely an inch away from his daughter's attacker.

"I know you raped my daughter and if I didn't have a very good reason to remain a free man, I would put you six foot under this concrete right now," he hissed menacingly, seeing the fear flash through Adam's eyes. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

Adam nodded hurriedly, swallowing thickly as he shrunk even further back against his car.

"You're a disgusting excuse for a man, treatin' a girl like that! If you EVER come near Haven or my family again, you're gonna fuckin' regret it!" Will yelled.

"Dad!"

Will felt himself being pulled back forcefully, his terrifying glare still fixed on the scruffy young man before him. He staggered back to the hood of the car as Henry stepped in front of him. Adam was slowly pulling himself back together, his demeanour changing now that there was some space and another body between himself and Will.

An evil glint passed through his eyes, and it became apparent to Will just how addled the boy was from drug use. It was almost like the drugs had stopped him from reacting properly to the situation he was in.

"Haven wasn't a very good fuck anyway," he said coolly. "Way too loose after that baby"

Will barely had time to realise what Adam had said before Henry had drawn back a fist and slammed it into Adam's face with as much force as he could muster. Adam staggered back, collapsing to the asphalt as blood spurted from his mouth and nose.

"Fuck you," Henry spat. "Don't you dare talk about her in such a disgusting way!" he exclaimed angrily, lifting his foot and stamping down on Adam's hand as hard as he could. Adam cried out as his bones cracked, groaning in pain as Will quickly pulled Henry away.

"I'll kill him," Henry muttered as they headed back to the door. He stood in silence, seething as Will hurriedly put the groceries into the trunk.

"As much as I would love to see that happen, I don't want you chucked in prison. Get in the car," Will replied as he shut the boot of the car and walked around to the driver's side. Henry climbed into the passenger seat, still rubbing his knuckles as Will started the ignition and pulled out of the lot.

* * *

Haven waited with bated breath for the phone to pick up. She knew this call was going to cost her a fortune, but at that moment, she didn't care. She just needed to talk to someone who was truly going to understand.

Everyone else was downstairs watching Netflix, while Haven had been in her room having more bonding time with Darcy. She had known all day long what she was going to do, and she had just had to wait for the perfect moment.

"_Prentiss"_

"Hi Emily... it's Haven," Haven said softly, reaching out with her free hand and gently tickling Darcy's belly. She had put Darcy beside her on the bed to let her play for a little while before it was time for bed.

"_Haven? Hey sweetie! I was just thinking yesterday I should give your mom a call. How's things back home?"_

"They're... a little crazy right now. I was hoping you were free to talk"

"_I'm always free to talk to you guys, you know that. Hey, tell me something. Last time I spoke to your mom, god, it was months ago... she said something about you being pregnant? Tell me she was bullshitting"_

Haven had to laugh at Emily's word choice. "No, no bullshit. I was pregnant. I have a daughter, Darcy. She's... almost three months old now"

"_God, you guys grew up so fast. You better send me pictures or I'm going to hunt you down, ok?"_

"Promise I will, as soon as this call is over," Haven said with a smile.

"_So what's the matter Haven?"_

Taking a deep breath, Haven looked down at Darcy, who was seemingly trying to crack a smile at her mom. "I was wondering... if I could ask you about... when you had an abortion"

She was met with silence from the other end, and her heart skipped a beat. Had she touched a nerve with Emily?

"_Why do you want to ask about that?"_

She didn't sound angry. Only curious. And maybe a little worried.

"Because," Haven choked out, tears building and starting to spill out. "I ran off with this guy... just after Darcy was born, and he got me pregnant... it wasn't consensual... and I'm having an abortion on Thursday and," she stammered, bursting into hysterical tears, "I just want someone to tell me that I'm doing the right thing because I don't know if I am anymore"

"_Oh sweetheart. Does your mom know about this?"_

"Yeah," Haven breathed through the onslaught of waterworks. "She's really upset about it, but she understands why I want to do it"

"_Why do you want to do it?"_

"Because... Darcy's not even three months old... and I'm not in the right place to have another baby. I need to... heal. I need to be a better person, a better mom. I also don't want to bring his child into the world... but I had a dream last night, and I was with Darcy and her little sister. And she told me she wanted to stay with Michael... the baby that Mom lost before me... that her dad doesn't deserve her... that I'm not ready for her," Haven said, everything pouring out before she could stop it.

"_Haven... that sounds to me like you're telling yourself that it's ok... it's ok to let this one go. Deep down, you know that having this baby would only end in disaster for you, and I think that's why you had that dream"_

"I know," Haven whispered. "I never thought it would be so difficult. I'm only five or six weeks at most... it's hardly anything... but that dream made everything so real"

"_I know sweetie. I've had many dreams to this day about the baby I never had. But there's something I've learned along the way and it's to remind yourself that while getting rid of that life may be painful, what would be even more painful would be to bring that life into the world and not be able to give it the love and nurturing it needs to grow and thrive"_

Haven stayed silent, mulling Emily's words over as she wiped away her tears.

"_Ultimately it's your decision. It's your body, and your child. But you sound like you're having a rough time... and I think deep down you've accepted that maybe it's time to let this one go"_

"Yeah," Haven whispered, smiling through tears as she put a hand on Darcy's belly. "I wasn't there for a lot of Darcy's life so far... I left her with Mom and Dad... I just want to show them that I'm capable, that I'm serious about making this work"

"_What do you think you're going to do?"_

Haven took a deep breath. "Go through with the abortion"

"_Trust me when I say it's not a do and forget kind of thing. But know that she's clearly going to be happy in spirit up there with your brother, and you'll have made the best decision you could make for you"_

"Thanks Emily," Haven said softly, wiping away the last of her tears as she smiled down at her baby girl.

Darcy chose that moment to pull her little mouth into her first real smile, imitating her mom as Haven's eyes lit up.

"Oh Em, she just smiled at me!"

Emily laughed on the other end. _"Make sure you get a picture and send it to me then. Hey kiddo, I have to go, but I'll be thinking of you on Thursday, ok? Let me know how you go, and I tell you what. I'll have to see if I can come back and visit you guys sometime soon. I miss you all"_

"We miss you too Emily," Haven replied.

"_Alright kiddo, I'll let you go. Give your mom a hug from me"_

"I will. I'll text you afterwards on Thursday"

With promises to stay in touch, Haven hung up the phone call, immediately switching to the camera app and snapping a photo of her happy little girl, sending it straight to Emily in a text.

Once it was sent, she set her phone down and picked Darcy up, giving her a big smile and kissing her little nose.

"You are just too cute, my little one," she cooed, smiling when Darcy snuggled up to her chest.

The room fell silent for a moment, the only sounds being Darcy's little sighs and the gentle rustle of her onesie as Haven rubbed her back.

"I promise I'll make you a big sister one day," Haven whispered after a while. "But today is not that day"

As she said the words out loud, Darcy moved slightly, her head coming to rest just beneath Haven's chin.

And an action as small as that managed to reassure Haven that she was making the right decision.

Darcy was the only little one she needed to focus on right now.


	69. Chapter 69

**A/N: Potential trigger. Vague descriptions of abortion procedure.**

* * *

"Squeeze my hand if it hurts"

Haven had her eyes closed, breathing her way through the procedure to try and keep her mind away from what was happening. Her mom was sitting steadily at her side, being Haven's rock as she usually was.

As the dilation process began, Haven felt a slight stinging sensation, prompting her to give JJ's hand a light squeeze. It lasted almost ten seconds before it subsided, giving way to a feeling of pressure as the nurse finished widening her cervix.

"Almost done sweetheart," she said softly as she inserted the aspirator and curette.

The aspiration brought with it a feeling of immense cramping, making Haven grimace and tighten her grip on JJ's hand.

"I'm doing the right thing," she whispered tearfully.

"It's ok," JJ said softly, brushing Haven's hair away from her face. "It's nearly over"

A few more minutes later, and it was all over. The nurse cleared away the instruments before lowering the drape for Haven, knowing that seeing what had been used to end the pregnancy could sometimes be a little traumatic for the patients.

"I'll bring you something light to eat and drink, then we'll check your blood pressure and do one last ultrasound before you go home," she said gently. "Let's take you back to your recliner and you can wait it out there"

Haven nodded numbly, pulling her clothes back on and following the nurse back out to the recliners. She didn't say a word as she retook her seat, sitting in silence as the reality of what had just happened ran through her head.

"Haven," JJ said softly, kneeling in front of her. "I know you think your dad and I didn't want you to do this, but that's not true. You made an educated decision and you did what was best for you and Darcy. I don't want you to beat yourself up for that"

"Am I going to feel bad about this for the rest of my life?" Haven whispered.

JJ shook her head. "If you give it time... allow yourself to put some space between yourself and this... it'll fall into place, and you will start to realise why you made the right decision"

Haven said nothing more, only speaking to the nurses from there on out. She picked at the snack given to her, stayed silent through the blood pressure test and ultrasound, and didn't say a word to her mother on the way out to the car.

It was done.

* * *

On the drive home, JJ couldn't help but be worried about Haven.

She knew abortion was no light matter. And while she was devastated that Haven had reached that point, she knew her daughter had made the right choice.

Haven had been firmly silent since they'd left the clinic, and JJ knew going straight home wasn't going to help break that silence. Home was where Darcy, while Haven adored her, reminded her mother of how different her life was, of just how drastically everything had changed in a few short months.

Turning off the highway, JJ followed the back roads until she came to side road that she knew led to a quiet park overlooking the Anacostia River.

Pulling up in the parking lot, she cut the engine and looked over at Haven.

"What are you doing?" Haven asked quietly, lifting her head from where she'd been resting it against the window. She hadn't been paying attention as her mother drove, but upon stopping, she had realised they were nowhere near home.

"Thought we could go for a little walk before we go home," JJ replied, nodding her head towards the door. "Come on"

Confused, Haven followed her mother from the car, walking across the soft grass and taking deep breaths of the fresh air. The heavy weight in her chest seemed to almost disappear from the moment she stepped outside, and she was suddenly grateful that they had stopped.

Joining Haven after locking up the car, JJ put an arm around her daughter, leading her towards a trail that sloped down towards the top of the outcrop sitting above the river.

"Why are we here?" Haven asked quietly as they walked up to the old picnic table that sat looking out over the river. She climbed onto it, crossing her legs as her mom followed her lead.

"I wanted to talk to you, and I thought here would be nicer than having it at home with two nosey boys and a screaming baby," JJ explained, a soft smile on her face. To her surprise, Haven reciprocated the smile, letting out a quiet chuckle at the thought of Will and Henry being nosey.

"If you're going to tell me to go abstinent and start getting my life together... don't worry, I'm already working on getting my shit sorted... and I don't plan on sleeping with anyone at all in the near future," Haven said quietly.

"No, that wasn't what I was going to talk about, but I'm glad to hear it," JJ replied. "No, Haven... I just wanted to talk to you about what you just did"

Haven looked up at her mom sadly.

"I know it kills you," she said softly. "I'm sorry"

"Don't apologise," JJ whispered, reaching over and taking Haven's hand. "I'm upset because of my own experiences with pregnancy, but I would never hold that against you for the decision you made. It's your body, your life, and therefore, it's your choice. Personally, I couldn't have done it. I think it's really sad that you reached a point where you had to do that, but... at the same time, I think it's something that takes a lot of courage to do, and I think you're very brave. You made a choice based on what was best for you and Darcy, no-one else, and that was the only choice you had to make"

"I hate myself," Haven breathed, her eyes growing brighter in the fading light of the evening.

JJ's expression fell, her eyes growing wide.

"Haven..."

"I keep disappointing everyone," Haven said tearfully. "I ran away twice and abandoned my child, I got raped and beaten by a drug addict and ended up pregnant... I had to terminate a pregnancy. Not exactly great material for you and Dad to be proud of me"

"No, but you know something?" JJ said gently, pulling Haven towards her and wrapping her arms around her. "We're proud of you for all the other things. The fact that you have grown up so much since you got pregnant with Darcy. You've made so many hard decisions since then, and you've handled them all beautifully. The fact that even when you were at your lowest after Adam did those awful things to you, you decided straightaway it was time to start doing better for you and Darcy. And the bit that makes me proudest of all, Haven, is that even though you might not be the same girl you were a year ago, you've grown into a girl who underneath all the pain and heartbreak, still has a heart of gold and still shows everyone around her how much she loves them. You may not be the girl your dad and I imagined you would be when you were born, but my god, we love you so much and we are always proud of you. Maybe not when you ran away... but every other time... you've just blown us away with how well you handle things"

Haven sniffed, turning and burying her face in JJ's shoulder.

"Give it six months and everything will be falling into place. For now, you just have to take it one day at a time," JJ said gently, kissing the top of Haven's head. "Ok milagro?"

Haven nodded, turning slightly so she could watch the fading pink and orange of the sky.

"I'm sorry I've made your life so difficult," she said quietly.

"It's ok...," JJ replied. "You're still here. I can still hold you. I may be helping with you with some difficult things, but I'm just glad that you're still here, still alive, for me to help"

"Me too," Haven whispered, slipping her hand into JJ's free one and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Thank you for coming with me"

"Anything for you," JJ replied just as quietly, pressing one last kiss to the top of Haven's head before she too turned to watch the sunset sky before them.


	70. Chapter 70

**A/N: Speed typed this chapter starting at midnight. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Henry... you're twenty four. Will you ever learn to pick up your own goddamn clothes?" JJ asked irritably as she walked into her son's room carrying a laundry basket. Bending down, she started gathering up Henry's dirty clothes, throwing them into the basket with an air of frustration.

"Don't touch that sock!" Henry said quickly, almost leaping off the bed as his mom reached for a sock lying haphazardly on the floor.

JJ wrinkled her nose. "Ew, Henry... that's... here," she managed, shaking her head as she handed him the basket. "Sort this out," she added, gesturing to the room before her as she turned for the door just in time to see Haven coming in with Darcy on her hip.

"He's disgusting, we all know," she teased, prompting Henry to stick his tongue out at his sister.

"Normally I would suggest getting a girlfriend... but I can't," JJ added with a grin, heading out of the room as Haven crossed the room and sat down on the edge of Henry's bed.

"So... feeling any better?" Henry asked as he stood at the end of the bed sorting his dirty clothes from his clean ones.

Haven shrugged. "I'm ok. It was probably the hardest decision I've made to date... but it was the best one for me and this little chubster"

"She is getting chubby, isn't she?" Henry laughed, setting his shirt down and reaching out for his niece. "More of you to cuddle!"

Haven smiled as she watched Henry pull faces at Darcy, laughing when Darcy smiled back. Things were falling into place. Her split lip had finally healed and the bruises were starting to fade. She felt closer and closer to Darcy every day, and Darcy was starting to show a real preference for Haven. And with every day that passed, she felt more at ease with the decision she had made, realising it had well and truly been the right one.

"Mom said you're trying to breastfeed again?" Henry asked as he settled Darcy on his hip and continued sorting clothes.

"Yeah. The specialist gave me a galactagogue to take, which apparently helps the milk come back in," Haven replied.

"The fuck is a galactagogue?"

"Can you not say that around Darcy?" Haven said instantly.

"Oh relax, she won't speak for another nine months at least," Henry shot back.

Haven rolled her eyes. "It's a food or medicine that promotes milk supply. Mine is an all organic herbal kind of pill. I've been taking it for three days... so we'll see how it goes"

Darcy chose that moment to let out a cry, her lower lip sticking out impressively as she looked up at her uncle with big watery eyes.

"Oh, am I not good enough anymore?" Henry laughed, handing her back to Haven.

"I know Uncle Henry smells funny," Haven cooed at her daughter, making Henry laugh again. "You'll get used to it"

* * *

Thanksgiving dinner was at Rossi's mansion for that year, and so it was that all the BAU, new, current, and old had gathered to celebrate together like a family. Many of their extended family had also been invited to join, making for a warm and homey family affair.

Darcy had vanished with Garcia about two minutes after the LaMontagnes had arrived, something which had surprised none of them in the slightest. So while everyone was mingling and getting caught up, Haven found herself sitting on the couch in Rossi's empty front lounge room, gazing out the window at the darkening sky and feeling just a little bit lost.

"Hey kiddo," came Rossi's husky Chicago accent as he walked slowly into the room. His old age was only just beginning to show in his mobility and his ever increasing grey hair; years of chasing criminals had given him a leg up on Father Time. "Why you sitting in here all alone?"

"I don't know," Haven shrugged. "Wanted to think"

Taking the seat next to Haven, Rossi smiled at the girl he thought of as one of his grandkids.

"It's been a rough year for you," he said softly, placing a comforting hand on her knee.

"Yeah," Haven whispered. "I'm grateful for where I am, and everything I've learned... but part of me wishes I had the old me back"

"The old you? The you who doesn't have a real idea of what it's like to be an adult in this world today? The you who still had a hell of a lot of growing up to do? Haven... I bet every cent I have that if none of this had happened to you, you wouldn't be very fond of the person you would have become," Rossi said gently.

"You think?" Haven asked.

Rossi nodded. "There's a reason these difficult things happen to people. It's all to put you on the right path towards who you're supposed to be. You may not have known it at first, but this is where you're supposed to be today"

"I just feel like I'm in way over my head sometimes... like I'm not cut out to be a mom," Haven admitted.

"I'm sure your mom felt the same way sometimes," Rossi chuckled. "And you know something? You may be the image of your father... but you are all Jennifer Jareau on the inside. If anyone can handle this teen mom business... it's you"

Haven managed a smile, looking up at Rossi with a little more confidence in her eyes.

"You're going to be a damn fine mother every day of that kid's life. Hell, you're already a damn good one now. The way your mom talks," Rossi added.

"What does she say?" Haven perked up.

"She's very proud of you," Rossi said softly. "She's very proud to call herself your mother"

Haven's heart swelled, her smile growing wider as she sat up a little straighter.

"Oh!" Rossi said with a chuckle, reaching into his jacket. "This is why I came in here"

Haven laughed, shaking her head at his forgetfulness as he pulled out an envelope.

"I know we don't usually do gifts at Thanksgiving, but this is something special from me and the team. We thought you could use it now. Knowing that you weren't there when Darcy was very little, we thought this might help you two bond and it might also help you let go of any guilt you're holding onto about that," Rossi explained.

Haven looked at him in confusion for a moment, before hooking a fingernail under the flap and tearing the envelope open. Reaching in, she pulled out a glossy blue voucher.

'_Congratulations on your new addition! This voucher entitles you to one Momma and Baby photoshoot (aged newborn – 6 months). We hope to create beautiful photos of you and your little one that will be treasured forever'_

Looking up at Rossi in complete surprise, Haven was beaming from ear to ear.

"This is like... the nicest thing anyone has ever given me," she said with a little laugh. "Thank you so much"

"I'm glad you like it. There is one more surprise for you," Rossi said, rising from the couch. "But you have to come outside"

"Uncle Dave," Haven said warningly, a teasing lilt in her voice as she followed his lead. "If you got me that pony I asked for when I was five..."

Rossi laughed, putting an arm around Haven and leading her towards the back door. "No, I thought your mother might put an old man out of his misery if I did that"

"It has to be purple with rainbow hair, and named Sparkles," Haven replied, making him laugh again.

"I remember," he chuckled, pulling open the door and pointing over towards a small cluster of people. "Why don't you look at who's standing with your mom?"

Recognising the head of dark hair, Haven gasped.

"Emily!" she shrieked happily, making both her mom and Emily turn around. Emily laughed, opening her arms to catch Haven in a hug as the teenager streaked over to her.

"Hey troublemaker, how are you?" she chuckled, hugging Haven tightly before pulling back. "God you've grown since I saw you last!"

"She's nearly taller than me," JJ added, setting her champagne glass down on the nearest table.

"That's not hard," Emily teased as Haven moved to stand beside her mother. Haven laughed, looking pointedly at her mother.

"I can still take you down," JJ said warningly to her daughter. Haven's response was an eye roll, which only made Emily laugh as well.

"Now, you two might look nothing alike, but that eye roll was _all_ Jareau," she chuckled.

"Emily! Emily, I promised you I would bring her!" Garcia called over the chatter as she approached the little group. "Here's Miss Haven's little offspring, in the flesh, as you asked"

"Oh look at those cheeks!" Emily gushed, setting her glass down also before taking Darcy into her arms. Haven smiled, watching on as Emily cooed over how cute Darcy was.

"You ok?" JJ asked quietly while the others were momentarily distracted.

"Yeah... I think I am," Haven replied softly, smiling at her mom.

Her family was all together, and up until now, Haven hadn't realised that maybe a dose of her crazy family was just what she had needed to start getting back on her feet.

If that was all it would take, she would happily spend every day with every single one of them.


	71. Chapter 71

**A/N: Yep, I'm still here.**

* * *

It had finally happened.

After spending days and nights on end pumping every three to four hours, Haven's milk had come back in. It wasn't a full supply, but it was there, and as long as she was either pumping or feeding, it would continue to grow until Darcy was able to come completely off of formula.

She had been doing skin to skin with Darcy almost every night, and had noticed that her little girl had started rooting and searching for her breast. And so, she decided to try getting Darcy to latch.

Sitting against the headboard of her bed, Haven cradled Darcy against her chest, her shirt lifted up to expose her breast. She slowly guided Darcy to her nipple, watching as Darcy opened her mouth and took Haven's breast. Her latch was perfect, and almost straightaway, Darcy started eating.

Haven burst into tears.

"You did it," she said softly, stroking Darcy's feather soft hair. "You did it baby girl"

"Haven? Can I come in?" JJ called from the other side of the door.

"Yeah," Haven called back through her tears. JJ opened the door, stopping short at seeing Haven on the bed with Darcy against her bare chest.

"You're breastfeeding again?" she asked in surprise, closing the door behind her.

"Yeah... my milk came in the other day, so I decided to see if she would latch... and she did," Haven said tearfully.

"She doesn't seem fussed," JJ chuckled. "Boob or bottle, as long as she's being fed, she doesn't seem to care"

Haven let out a watery laugh, gently stroking Darcy's cheek with the tip of her finger. "No, she doesn't"

Sitting on the edge of the bed, JJ smiled as Haven cooed over her little girl. She knew Haven had been so determined to relactate with Darcy, and her heart was swelling with pride at the fact that she had.

Things were looking up.

* * *

Voices from the lounge room downstairs were the first indication to Haven that they had guests. She had just finished pumping when she heard the knock at the door, and was now sitting at her desk in preparation to start slogging through her homework while Darcy played on her mat on the floor.

She listened as a pair of footsteps came up the stairs, setting her pen down as they approached her bedroom door.

"Haven?"

Her mom.

"Yeah?" Haven called back, turning around in her chair.

"You have some visitors... can you come downstairs? And bring Darcy with you," JJ said softly, before turning and walking away from the door.

Haven frowned, but did as she was asked, picking up Darcy and rising from her chair. She was a little slow heading downstairs, wondering who on earth was down there. Her anxiety was peaking; was it Adam?

As she rounded the banister at the bottom of the stairs, her jaw almost dropped.

Connor's parents were sitting in her lounge room.

She instantly wanted to turn and run back up the stairs, but she knew that wasn't going to get her anywhere. So instead, she walked quietly into the lounge room, taking a seat between her mom and dad.

"Hello Haven," Valeria said thickly, and Haven was surprised to no longer the stiffness and hostility she had come to expect from her boyfriend's mother.

"Hi," she replied softly, instinctively drawing an arm around Darcy. She noticed that Valeria was not as well put together as she usually was. Her dark brown hair had lost its shine, hanging limply around her thin face. The colour in her cheeks was non-existent, and her clothes no longer looked tailored as Haven knew they were. Peter was much the same, albeit a little more put together than his wife.

"Haven... we wanted to come and talk to you about Connor," Peter said gently. "It's been a really difficult couple of months for us... and we understand it's probably been just as hard for you"

Haven swallowed thickly, willing herself not to cry as she bounced Darcy gently in her lap. JJ's hand went to her lower back, a small gesture of support that Haven greatly appreciated.

"I know that I wasn't the most receptive or welcoming of you when I found out that you were pregnant... but we've come to realise that that was putting so much stress on Connor, and in turn, putting stress on you," Valeria explained. "Looking back on our last... few weeks with him, we realise that the signs were there, and... we did nothing to help him... we just continued to be the problem"

"Please don't blame yourselves," Haven said shakily. "There was so much on his mind... yes, he was feeling stressed about the situation with you guys, but it was hardly the reason he..."

"I wanted to apologise, Haven... for treating you the way I did," Valeria added. "It wasn't right, nor was it justified. Connor was doing everything to be the perfect man for you, and I just completely shut it down"

Haven couldn't help herself. She looked down at Darcy, a sob escaping her as she did. JJ immediately shuffled closer, sliding her arm around her daughter and holding her close, almost as though she was holding her together.

"I know it's probably nothing compared to how you guys are feeling... but every day that passes where he doesn't meet his daughter... it breaks me a little more. I know you have to live for the rest of your lives without your son... and I'm truly sorry for that loss... but I also have to live every day of my life without the father of my child... have to deal with her questions when she's older," Haven sobbed. "I do accept your apology... I just wish it had come sooner"

"So do I," Valeria agreed tearfully, clinging to Peter's hand. Peter's eyes were looking awfully bright.

"We also came... in the hopes of properly meeting our granddaughter. We only saw her briefly at his... his funeral," Peter choked out.

Haven wiped her eyes, sniffing as she sat Darcy up a little more. Darcy gazed around the room, her big beautiful eyes locking on to the strange new people before her.

"This is Darcy," Haven said thickly, smiling down at her pretty little girl. "Darcy Rose Connor LaMontagne"

Valeria broke into a watery smile, a sob of joy leaving her as JJ carefully lifted Darcy from Haven's arms and passed her over to her paternal grandparents. Darcy whined as Valeria took her into her arms, wondering why on earth she was being given to these new people, but she just as quickly decided she was ok and settled down.

"Oh... she's beautiful," Valeria choked out. "She looks so much like Connor"

Unable to keep her composure up for much longer, Haven excused herself into the kitchen. She stood alone for a moment before the tears broke free, her body shaking with emotion as she tried to pull herself back together. She was so blinded by tears that she got a surprise when someone came and wrapped their arms around her.

"Let it out milagro," her dad's Southern accent spoke softly. "I've got you"

And so she did. She fell to him, hanging onto him for support as all the repressed emotion relating to Connor's death came pouring out of her in one fell swoop.

It was more than a relief. So much more.

* * *

An hour later, the Hamiltons were making to leave when Haven stopped them at the front door.

"I just wanted to say thank you," she said softly as she lifted Darcy a little higher on her hip. "For coming here today"

Valeria shook her head. "Thank _you_ for hearing us out and giving us the chance to meet Darcy"

"You coming here... saying the things you did... I think it's helped me turn a corner in terms of grieving for Connor. I feel like... I'm ready to start moving forward. I'll never stop loving him... but life goes on. I hope it's done something for you too," Haven explained quietly as her parents looked on in pride and admiration.

"I think it has," Valeria agreed, reaching out and pulling Haven into a gentle hug. "I hope we can continue to see Darcy as she grows"

Pulling away after a few moments, Haven nodded. "Someone has to tell her everything there is to know about her dad"

Valeria managed a smile, her eyes growing bright again as she turned and gave a nod of thanks to the LaMontagnes.

After they had left, Haven closed the front door behind her before turning to face her parents.

"Are you alright?" JJ asked gently.

Haven hesitated for a moment, before nodding.

"Yeah... yeah, I think I am. Like I said... I think I'm ready to start moving on. Life is waiting to be lived, hey little one?" she replied, looking down at Darcy.

Darcy cracked a smile, cooing back at Haven.

It was something as simple as that that reassured Haven she had come to the right conclusion.

It was time to start moving forward with her life.


	72. Chapter 72

**A/N: Enjoy!**

* * *

The swim centre was quiet and calm, just what Haven wanted and needed. The last few days had been a rollercoaster of emotion. The day after Connor's parents had come to visit, she'd spent most of the day in a mess of tears. But to her surprise, she'd felt better afterwards. Lighter, almost.

Following her mother to the spectator bench, she smiled as Darcy looked around with wide eyes. She was reaching the age where the world around her was suddenly full of new things to see and engage with. She no longer slept as frequently during the day, which allowed everyone to interact more with her and see her starting to develop her little personality.

"Ok Miss Darcy, let's get you in your bathers," JJ cooed, lifting the wriggly baby from Haven's arms and laying a towel down on the bench. Darcy smiled her big gummy smile, cooing at her grandmother as JJ got her undressed and changed into a swim diaper.

Haven lightly fingered the baggy shirt she was wearing over her bikini, before deciding she was going to leave it on, and only removing her leggings, stuffing them into the bag and hovering anxiously nearby as JJ finished zipping Darcy into her little suit.

"Oh that is _cute_!" JJ gushed with a laugh as she scooped Darcy up and passed her back to Haven. "Best purchase I've made I think"

Haven had to laugh as Darcy smiled back at her grandmother. She couldn't believe her mom had ever been hesitant about being a grandparent. She doted on Darcy and Haven had noticed they couldn't go near any shop without her mom buying something for her.

"Aren't you taking that off?" JJ asked softly, pointing at Haven's shirt. "You won't have anything dry to wear afterwards"

Haven shook her head, her face falling as she cuddled Darcy closer to her.

Recognising the expression on Haven's face, JJ moved closer, placing a hand on Haven's shoulder.

"You had a baby three months ago... it's ok to feel a little self conscious... but you shouldn't be ashamed of it. You carried Darcy for nine months, your body is going to show for it," she said gently.

"I hate the stretch marks," Haven mumbled, pulling the hem of her shirt up far enough for her mom to see the purple stretch marks lining her stomach.

"I know, but you shouldn't be upset about them. They show one of the amazing things you've done, which is going through pregnancy and birth. There's almost no-one here... and you'll freeze outside if you don't have your shirt on or go out with it wet," JJ pushed gently.

Haven hesitated, thinking her mom's words over. After a few moments, she passed Darcy back to her, before pulling her shirt off and dropping it on top of the bag. She immediately felt self conscious, but as she followed her mom over to the heated baby pool, she tried to shrug it off.

Sitting down in the shallowest part of the pool, she took Darcy into her arms as her mom sat down beside her.

"Ok, just turn her to face you, and then gently lower her into the water like you would for her bath," JJ instructed. Haven did so carefully. A smile crossed her face when Darcy looked surprised as the water touched her. JJ chuckled, lightly splashing some of the water up across Darcy's belly. They both laughed when she gave them a big smile as she wriggled around in Haven's hold.

"I think someone likes swimming, hey baby girl?" JJ cooed, tickling the bottom of Darcy's feet. Darcy kicked it, creating a large splash. She blinked, squinting as the water drops rained down on her face. Haven and JJ laughed, Haven holding Darcy steady with one hand as she lifted her other hand to wipe the water off of her baby's face.

A huge splash suddenly hit them, showering them with water as a small body flung itself into the pool. Haven instinctively lifted Darcy up to her shoulder, flinching back as she ended up soaked. She found herself looking into the cheeky eyes of a gorgeous little girl, whose deep brown eyes stood out against her chocolate skin, her frizzy hair in a flyaway despite all the water.

"Hey, hey Aluna! No!" a young man called as he raced after the little girl. He was dark like her, but didn't look much older than Haven.

Was he in a similar situation to her?

He quickly grabbed the little girl, pulling her back towards him as he looked up at JJ and Haven. "I'm so sorry"

"It's ok," Haven said with a smile, looking down at Darcy who was happily trying to grab a loose thread on Haven's top.

"We don't splash anybody, especially the little babies, ok? Can you say sorry?" the man said to the little girl. Aluna nodded, turning to the girls.

"Sorry," she said with a big smile, before turning to the man and hugging his leg.

"Come on," he said, giving JJ and Haven one last smile before taking Aluna's hand and leading her back to the main pool.

Watching them walk away, Haven was only pulled back to reality when Darcy shivered in her arms.

"You cold baby girl?" she asked with a chuckle. "Already?"

"They don't stay warm very long," JJ laughed. "Come on, let's go get her back into her clothes"

Rising up from the pool, Haven followed her mom back to the bench, shivering herself as the cool air touched her wet skin.

"Here, you get dry and I'll get Darcy warm," JJ said as they reached their belongings, immediately holding out a towel to Haven. Haven gratefully took it, passing Darcy to her mom before wrapping herself in a towel.

After drying herself off and getting warm, she was pulling her clothes back on over her bathers when Darcy started to cry, the whiny cry that Haven had come to recognise as "Mom, I'm hungry".

She visibly froze up; she didn't really want to breastfeed in public, but they hadn't brought a bottle for Darcy.

"It's ok," JJ said gently, lifting Darcy up. She had recognised the anxiety written all over Haven's face. "It's normal, it's natural, and I'll be sitting right next to you. If anyone wants to say anything, they'll have to say it to me"

Nodding as she swallowed thickly, Haven sat down next to her bag and reached up to take Darcy into her arms. She focused solely on her baby as she slid her shirt up, pushed her bather top aside, and helped Darcy get a good latch. Before too long, Darcy was happily drinking her milk, and Haven was starting to relax again.

"She's a good eater," she said softly, making her mom smile.

"She probably gets that from your dad... and your brother," JJ chuckled. Haven laughed.

"Wouldn't surprise me," she agreed.

By the time they were making their way home, Haven was definitely exhausted. But she was happy, and that was something she could definitely say she hadn't felt in a long time.

Being a mom was hard work. But even in all the learning and the uncertainty, she knew it would be one of the most rewarding experiences of her life.


	73. Chapter 73

**A/N: Got stuck in a bit of a slump but I'm back again!**

* * *

Weeks were flying by, and before they knew it, Christmas was well and truly upon them. With three days to go, and the LaMontagnes being the host for the year's family festivities, their house was a hive of activity.

The kitchen felt like Grand Central Station as Haven sat at the table focused intently on her laptop screen. Darcy was on a blanket on the floor beside her, playing happily with a rattle and trying to put it in her mouth.

As her mom flustered about trying to figure out which groceries she still needed for Christmas Day, Haven finally loaded the page she'd been looking for.

She had taken her SATs at the beginning of the month, having taken them later than her classmates due to the time she'd had off from school. Today was the day her scores were meant to be sent out, and she would have been lying if she said she wasn't nervous.

"Oh... wow," she said in surprise as the scores loaded.

"What?" JJ asked, snapping up from her list to look at Haven. She stared in confusion for a moment before her eyes widened. "Oh shit, today's SAT day!"

Haven laughed as JJ hurried over from the bench to look at the computer screen. She was silent for a moment before raising her eyebrows.

"Haven... that's actually a really good score!" she said, her voice full of surprise.

"Why, do you think I'm stupid?" Haven teased.

"No, just with the amount of stuff you've had going on... Haven, you realise you could apply to Ivy Leagues with that number?" JJ replied.

Looking back at the bolded **2260 **on the screen, Haven shrugged. "I could... but I want to stay in DC. It'll be easier with Darcy and everything... I don't think I'm totally ready to be living on my own with a baby"

JJ nodded in agreement. "I know, I don't think you are either. But it wouldn't hurt to apply, at least see what happens. You never know, by the time college starts, you may feel differently about moving away"

Darcy chose that moment to squeal loudly, kicking her legs as she beamed up at Haven and JJ.

"Are they not payin' enough attention to you?" Will said as he walked into the room. Stopping, he bent down and lifted Darcy up. "Are Momma and Grandma ignorin' you princess?"

Haven laughed as Darcy simply drooled down the front of Will's shirt.

"Nice, baby girl, thanks for that," Will chuckled. "Let's go find your uncle Henry and annoy him"

JJ and Haven both laughed as Will turned and left the room with Darcy on his hip. Once he was gone, JJ turned back to Haven, beaming from ear to ear.

"I'm really proud of your score, milagro. You've been working really hard and you deserve to be rewarded for that," she gushed, leaning down and hugging Haven.

"Thanks Mom," Haven replied with a smile, reaching behind her and giving her mom a half hug.

She was proud of herself. It had been a hard slog to prepare for the SAT, and she'd been so exhausted on the day that she barely remembered taking it, but her work had paid off. She was one step closer to proving everyone who doubted her wrong, and making it into college.

* * *

"_Mommy"_

_Hearing Darcy's voice, Haven whipped around. She was standing in a cold, dark room, shivering as she pulled her jacket tighter around her._

"_Darcy?" she called, her voice bouncing off the concrete._

_A sharp cough preceded the little voice. "Mommy"_

_Walking towards a tattered curtain, Haven pushed it aside. _

"_Oh my god," she gasped, seeing her little girl huddled on the damp floor, blood spilling from a deep wound in her stomach. "Baby, what happened to you?"_

"_Mommy," Darcy sobbed as Haven knelt down and pressed her hands to the wound. "Mommy, please... please... help me"_

"_I've got you baby girl, Mommy won't let anything happen to you," Haven soothed, running a hand over Darcy's hair. "You'll be ok"_

_Rattling breaths from behind her made Haven turn around. Her stomach suddenly felt as though it was filled with ice when she laid eyes on the broken form of her mother, blood gushing from a wound on her neck as she gasped for breath._

"_Mom!" she gasped, scampering over to JJ and pressing her hands to the wound._

"_NO!" a voice roared from the shadows. "You can only save ONE!"_

"_No, please-" Haven started to beg._

"_ONE!" the voice yelled in a terrifying shout that shook Haven to her very core._

"_Go to Darcy," JJ croaked. "Go"_

_Turning back to her little girl, Haven was sobbing as she reapplied the pressure to stop the bleeding. Behind her, she heard the awful sounds of her mother's life leaving her body with the help of the dark voice, and Haven wished there was something more she could have done._

"Mom!" Haven cried as she bolted upright in her bed, her clothes sticking to her as she took deep breaths to calm herself down.

Getting up from the bed quickly, she hurried over to Darcy's crib. She breathed a sigh of relief to say her little girl sleeping peacefully down below, splayed across her mattress with her hands curled in fists either side of her head.

Reaching down, she rubbed Darcy's belly lightly, smiling as Darcy shifted slightly, before quietly walking out of the room and down the hall towards her parents' room.

Pushing on the door, she felt a flood of relief run through her to see her mom sleeping peacefully beside her dad.

Even so, she silently tiptoed into the room and over to her mom's side of the bed, pulling the covers back and sliding in.

"Mm?" JJ mumbled, barely awake as she moved slightly out of the way.

"Just me," Haven whispered.

"You ok?" JJ breathed.

"Yeah. Bad dream," Haven replied.

No more words were said as JJ pulled Haven into her embrace, reassuring her that she was safe, but also reassuring her that her mom really was ok.

She felt a bit silly, crawling into her mom's bed because of a bad dream. But all she wanted was the reassurance that it was just a dream. That everything was fine.

And it was.


	74. Chapter 74

**A/N: I know this chapter doesn't feel very Christmasy, and the ending probably has you like OMG, but in my mind, Henry and Haven are very chilled.**

* * *

"Hi baby girl," Haven cooed as she reached into Darcy's crib on Christmas morning. Darcy cracked a gummy smile, kicking her legs happily as she gurgled up at her mom.

After changing Darcy's diaper, Haven carried her daughter down the stairs to the kitchen, where her parents were already enjoying their morning coffee. They didn't see Haven coming in, and for a few moments, Haven witnessed them in a happy, loved up bubble.

It made her happy to see them so in love. The last few months had been difficult for everyone, and she had seen firsthand the strain it had put on their marriage. It seemed that now things were settling down, they were rebuilding everything they had.

Darcy chose that moment to let out a loud squeal before sticking her fingers in her mouth, dropping her head to Haven's shoulder.

"Merry Christmas to you too, princess," Will chuckled, standing up and reaching out to take Darcy. Haven watched on with a smile as he carried her away to the lounge room to look at the Christmas tree, before moving to sit beside her mom.

"You ok?" she asked, noticing how her mom seemed more subdued than usual.

"Yeah," JJ said softly. "Just tired"

Haven raised an eyebrow. "Mom"

"Really. I'm honestly just tired," JJ reiterated, straightening up slightly as she took a long sip from her coffee.

Haven smirked. "Dad keep you up all night?"

JJ pretended to laugh, setting her coffee down again. "No, but even if he had, I wouldn't be telling you"

Haven laughed, nodding towards the lounge room. "Shall we go see what Santa brought?"

JJ laughed, shaking her head as she pushed herself up to standing. "Come on then"

When they walked into the lounge room, they found Henry sitting on the floor, Darcy propped up between his legs while Will sat in front of them with a present in his hands.

"I think you'll like this one, Darcy," he said with a grin as the two girls sat down either side of him. He opened up the present, knowing Darcy was too little to manage it, revealing a plushie dog with big floppy ears.

Pressing down on its paw, they all got a laugh when it barked and made Darcy jump. She looked anxiously at it for a moment before starting to laugh, her big gummy smile lighting up the whole room.

"Oh you're too cute!" Haven gushed, reaching out and tickling Darcy's foot. Darcy kicked, reaching out for the dog and laughing again when Will made it bark.

The morning continued in happiness and love. After seeing the few small gifts her parents had bought for Darcy, Haven had sat on the couch to feed her daughter while the others opened their gifts. Her parents remained in their loved up bubble, but now, Haven could see that something was bothering her mom. From what she could tell, it wasn't anything serious; she was only a little snappier than usual, but she decided that before the day was out, she would try to get to the bottom of it.

* * *

"No guys on the horizon?" Emily asked as she sat down beside Haven while Haven was feeding Darcy.

"No," Haven chuckled. "I promised Mom I would get my shit together before dating or sleeping with anyone. I think she'd be happiest if I stayed abstinent for the rest of my life"

Emily laughed. "You have a child, your mom knows you'll never stay abstinent. Besides... sex is fun"

Haven couldn't contain her laughter at that remark. "Don't you dare let Mom hear you telling me that. She thinks I don't need any more encouragement"

"You don't," Emily agreed with a grin. "But anyway... you seem to be doing a lot better than when I spoke to you on the phone"

"Yeah... it was such a hard thing to do... but I'm glad I did it. It was the right decision. This little chubster is more than enough work," Haven replied, smiling down at Darcy, who was gently patting the top of Haven's breast as she ate.

Emily smiled, sitting back and watching while Darcy finished her feed. She took the baby for a few minutes while Haven readjusted her top, finding her heart swelling with love as she made Darcy laugh by tickling her.

Part of her would always miss the baby she aborted at fifteen. But the other part of her knew that she would not have had the same environment Haven had.

Even years on... it was still an internal waging war.

* * *

Standing before his family, both blood and not, Morgan felt more content than he ever had in his life.

"I'm glad you're all here today. We always love celebrating Christmas together, and this year is no different. I just wanted to say that I'm thankful for each and every one of you, no matter how you came to be in my life, whether it was by blood-"

He nodded to his mother and sisters.

"-through work-"

A nod to Hotch and the others from the BAU.

"-people at work deciding it was time to procreate and unleash their spawn on the world-"

To much laughter, he nodded towards where Haven was sitting with Meg, Lauren, Henry and Jack.

"-the spawn deciding to procreate-"

The laughter continued as he looked towards Darcy, who was perched on JJ's hip.

"-or because the most beautiful girl I ever laid eyes on moved into the house next door"

Savannah smiled lovingly as Morgan blew her a kiss, chuckling when Hank rolled his eyes.

"In all seriousness, I love you guys as family no matter how you came to be in my life. Here's to a merry Christmas, a happy new year, and many many more to come"

They cheered, hugging each other and enjoying their time together as a family.

God knows there were never enough occasions where they were all together in the one room.

* * *

Lunch had led to food comas for most of them, but somehow, Henry had still found it in him to eat ice-cream upon arriving home. With Darcy upstairs sound asleep, Haven was flicking through Facebook on her phone while Henry ate his dessert. Or his fourth dessert.

Her mom was still snappy. She'd been irritable at best on the way home from Morgan's, and Haven was starting to wonder if it signs of menopause.

But she wasn't even game enough to ask. Asking that question would be like asking for a bullet to the head.

Will entered the room, having been outside shovelling the front path after the snowfall. He walked straight over to his wife who was making a mug of hot chocolate over by the counter. Sliding an arm around her waist, he nuzzled her neck lovingly.

"I had an idea, darlin'. How about this weekend, we get outta town, go for an adventure, just you and me? Would be a nice little getaway," Will said softly, rubbing JJ's side gently.

Slamming the spoon down on the bench with such force that everyone in the room jumped, JJ whirled around as Haven took a sip from her water bottle.

"I don't want to go on an adventure, Will, I want to have sex with you!"

Haven choked, spraying her mouthful of water across the table at Henry, who had dropped his spoon back into the bowl and was trying not to laugh.

"Maybe we should go upstairs," Henry suggested, picking up his ice cream and rising from the table, ignoring the water now dripping from his hair.

"Good idea," Haven said with a grin, standing up and following her brother out of the room.

Will looked back at his wife, looking slightly confused and equally as concerned.

"That was... blunt," he said quietly.

JJ sighed. "I'm sorry... it's just... it's been nearly four months"

"No it hasn't," Will replied quickly.

"Yes, yes it has, the last time we did _anything_ was the week after Darcy was born," JJ refuted. "I'm sorry, I just... miss feeling that close to you"

Wrapping his arms around JJ, Will pressed a loving kiss to her forehead. "You and I will always be close, you know that. We could go years without sex and I would still love you just as much as if we did it every day"

JJ chuckled, tipping her head back to look at her husband. "You ever let me go years without getting to have some fun with you and you'll be in hot water"

"That's nice and all... but right now I'd rather be making you hot," Will said seductively. JJ laughed, her irritability melting away as Will kissed her deeply and started lowering her to the floor.

"Right here?" she whispered, a thrill running through her body.

"They're not coming downstairs for anything after your comment," Will chuckled, laying over the top of JJ and pulling her into another deep kiss.

Upstairs, Haven turned away from Henry's bedroom door to look at her brother in amusement.

"They're seriously going to do it in the kitchen," she laughed, walking over to the bed and flopping down beside him. "Looks like we're stuck up here"

Henry shrugged. "I've done it in worse places"

Haven wrinkled her nose. "You're gross"

"The living room couch... the back of Mom's car-"

"Ew!" Haven laughed. "Never looking at either of those places the same, ever again"

"You've gotta be a little adventurous sometimes," Henry replied.

"The kitchen floor while your kids are upstairs?"

"We're old enough to not give a shit, and at least the kitchen has a door, they could be on the lounge room couch. And hey, we should be glad we have parents that still love each other that much. Most of my friends' parents are divorced," Henry reasoned.

Haven hesitated, before nodding. "Yeah, mine too... you're right, I guess"

"I always am. Wanna play Battlefield?" Henry asked, holding out the controller for his PlayStation.

Haven shrugged. "Why not"

And so Christmas ended on a... different note. But nearly an hour and a half later, when they heard their parents staggering to their room in fits of laughter, Henry and Haven had to smile at each other.

It did feel good to have parents who were still clearly in love. Sometimes, they both forgot how lucky they were to have a family that was intact.

They would take their slightly dysfunctional, yet intact family over a 'perfect' one any day.


	75. Chapter 75

**A/N: I did want to go into more detail at the end but I was exhausted and I wanted to update before I went to bed. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

The New Year brought love, prosperity, and the worst bout of gastro the LaMontagnes had ever contended with.

Henry had been the first to catch it, and within days, had passed it to the entire family, Darcy included. It was a miserable few days, and it was finally almost over, JJ being the only one still trying to fight it off. While the rest of the family were working their way back to full strength, JJ was still curled up over the toilet in the master bathroom, Will trying to comfort her while keeping his distance; he didn't handle vomit very well at all.

Feeling tired and shaky, Haven was sitting in the lounge room feeding her fussy baby when Henry came into the room and sat down beside her.

"She feeling any better?" he asked, tickling under Darcy's toes.

"I think so. She's still fussy, but she's keeping her feeds down, so that's a plus," Haven said with a yawn.

Silence fell between them, the only sounds being Darcy's breaths as she drank her milk. After a few minutes, Henry spoke again.

"Haven, I was doing some reading... I know you've not had the best time. Like, obviously things are heaps better now, but still, I know it hasn't been easy," he said softly. "I found a support group about fifteen minutes away for teen moms... and I thought it might be something you'd like to go to"

Looking up at her brother, Haven broke into a smile.

"That's really sweet of you, Henry," she said softly as Darcy gave a few half hearted sucks and then pulled away, telling Haven that her breast was empty.

"I printed out the information sheet. There's a session tomorrow afternoon, and you'll be able to take Darcy with you if you like," Henry replied, pulling a folded piece of paper from his pocket while Haven switched Darcy over to her other breast. "I thought maybe you'd like to meet some other girls going through similar things"

Taking the paper once Darcy was settled, Haven scanned it quickly, her smile growing wider as she turned to her brother.

"Thanks Henry. Really"

Henry grinned, rising from the couch.

"Any time"

* * *

Butterflies filled her stomach as she walked into the room with Darcy on her hip. After reading through the information Henry had provided, Haven had decided she had nothing to lose by attending the group. And so she had headed out into the cool evening, Darcy in tow, headed for the community center.

About ten other girls were milling around the room, each of them holding a child. Some babies looked older than Darcy, possibly as old as two, and some looked no older than a month at most.

A woman who looked a little younger than her mom approached her, a warm smile on her face. She was pretty, Haven thought. She was fair, like Haven, with red hair pulled into a high messy bun. She looked like she belonged on a rural property somewhere in Texas, what with her three quarter jeans and button down shirt, but to Haven, she looked inviting and welcoming.

"Hi, I'm Jill," she said warmly, holding out a hand. "You're here for the teen mom group I presume?"

"Haven," Haven replied, accepting the handshake. "And yes... I am"

"That's a lovely name," Jill said with a smile. "I don't think I've ever heard it before"

Haven chuckled. "Yeah, there's a bit of a story to it. It's important to my parents"

"I bet. And who's this little cutie?" Jill cooed, slipping a finger into Darcy's hand. Darcy gurgled, her mouth widening into a gummy smile as she looked at the newcomer.

"This is Darcy," Haven replied, smiling as she watched her daughter.

"Well, Haven, Darcy... it's good to have you here," Jill said, straightening up. "We'll start in about ten minutes, so make yourself comfortable, and feel free to introduce yourself to some of the other girls. I promise they're all lovely"

Thanking Jill, Haven moved silently over to one of the empty chairs, setting her bag down on the floor beside it as she took a seat. Shifting Darcy into her lap, she cooed at her for a few moments, making Darcy smile, before looking up as someone sat beside her.

"Hi," said a girl who looked a fair bit younger than Haven. "You're new?"

Haven grinned. "You guys must know each other pretty well, if it's that obvious"

The girl chuckled. "Most of us have been coming since our little ones were only a month old. Jill's amazing. She's helped some of us through some really tough stuff, and you feel like you have another family here, a family that totally gets what it's like. You'll see what I mean in a couple of weeks"

Haven looked around thoughtfully, propping Darcy up against her before turning back to the girl.

"I'm Haven, by the way," she said warmly.

"Oh, sorry! I'm Millie," the girl laughed. "And this is Nathan. He's nearly eight months old"

She smiled, gently jostling her son as he giggled in her lap.

"Darcy's only just gone four months," Haven replied.

"She's very expressive for four months," Millie chuckled, reaching over and tickling Darcy's toes.

"She's a very happy baby," Haven laughed, her point proven as Darcy let out a cute little giggle. "So how old were you when Nathan was born?"

"A week off of fourteen," Millie said quietly. "My parents were so angry. Didn't help that they're divorced either, I got yelled at by my mom, and then I had to go and do it all over again with my dad. They're way more on board now, but it's still tense, I'm not even fifteen yet"

"Wow," Haven breathed. "My dad would have actually killed me at that age"

"You must be like... eighteen?" Millie asked.

"I will be in April," Haven replied with a smile.

"Ok ladies, let's get started!" Jill called out, breaking off their conversation. The remaining girls wandered over and took their seats, some of them bouncing fussy babies as they looked over at Jill.

"We have a new group member here today, I'd like you all to welcome Haven and her daughter Darcy," Jill said warmly. Haven managed a smile as the other girls said their hello's, cuddling Darcy a little closer to her.

The hour flew by faster than Haven had ever expected it too. She was invited to share her experiences with the girls, and had shared most of her story with them, choosing to omit the parts about Connor and Adam for the time being. Some of the other girls had in return shared some of their own similar experiences with her, as well as advice for tricky situations.

By the time she left, Haven was feeling well armed and ready to take on the world as Darcy's mom.

And she couldn't _wait_ for next week.


	76. Chapter 76

**A/N: I friggin dislocated my knee yesterday, go me.**

* * *

It was relentless.

No matter what she did, Darcy just continued to cry. It had been going on for nearly two hours, and Haven was at her wits end.

"Come on," she sobbed. "You're fed and clean and dry, I don't know what else to do. Please Darcy, I'm exhausted, and I'm doing everything I can"

Darcy's way of responding was to wail with increasing intensity, making Haven sit on the edge of her bed, clutching Darcy to her chest as she hoped she would settle down soon.

The door opened slowly, and in came her father.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I'm doing everything I can do," Haven sobbed.

Will shook his head, crossing the room and taking Darcy from her arms. "It's ok. Some nights they just don't settle, and that's ok. We understand that"

Sitting down beside his daughter, he gently bounced Darcy in his arms, looking at Haven with a smile.

"Don't cry sweetheart, it makes it so much harder to settle them down. They're like dogs; they smell fear," he teased. Haven let out a watery laugh, leaning her head onto her dad's shoulder.

"Thanks Dad," she said softly as Darcy's cries started to diminish.

"No problems, milagro"

* * *

For the first time, Haven was completely alone with Darcy. She had been surprised to realise that ever since Darcy was born, whenever she was home with her, she had had someone else with her.

By now, she was so comfortable taking care of her daughter that she didn't even care. She had just fed Darcy, and had put her down on her blanket to play with her toys while she finished her homework.

Looking up as Darcy squealed, she smiled watching her daughter play.

Darcy had changed her life, and at first, she had been resistant towards that change. But ever since the awful experiences she had been through with Adam, she had actively taken on looking after her baby girl. Her parents had been pleased to see she rarely passed her responsibilities onto other people, and the only time anyone else was looking after Darcy was when Haven was at school.

Darcy may not have healed the hole in Haven's heart that had been left by Connor's death, but she had made it easier to live in a world without him. Every day, she reminded Haven more and more of Connor, and her cute little smile and growing personality were more than enough for Haven to face each day with confidence.

Continuing with the sheet of homework she was working on, Haven was feeling more and more accomplished. Her pile of work had never truly diminished since returning to school, and now it was getting to a far more manageable stage.

As she was reaching her math textbook, the sound of Darcy gasping for breath reached Haven's ears and within seconds she had leapt into action. She barrelled around the table to the lounge room, finding Darcy slumped over on her blanket, her little chest heaving with every gasp of air she took.

"Oh baby what happened? What's the matter?" Haven cried, knowing full well Darcy couldn't reply. Reaching out, she straightened Darcy up, only to get a fright when she caught a glimpse of Darcy's face.

Her lips were blue, and her skin was pale. She looked like she wanted to cry, but she couldn't. Her little arms were covered in angry red rashes. Haven immediately pulled her phone from her pocket and dialled 911.

"It's ok baby girl, you're ok. Keep those little lungs working for Mommy," Haven said tearfully, lying Darcy down on her back to open up her chest and hopefully help her breathe a little easier.

_"911, what's your emergency?"_

"My daughter can't breathe, her lips are turning blue," Haven replied immediately.

_"Ok, I need you to stay calm like you are now. I'm sending an ambulance to your current location. Are you currently at 1125 Elmwood Crescent, Virginia?"_

"Yes I am"

_"Alright. Can you tell me your daughter's name and age?"_

"Darcy, and she's six months old"

_"Do you think she might have swallowed something? Is she choking?"_

"No, I'm sure there was nothing around her she could swallow. It doesn't sound like choking, she's more wheezing or gasping for breath"

_"Ok, I want you to tip her head back and open her mouth if you can. This will help open up her airway as much as possible"_

Holding Darcy down, Haven wanted to cry when she realised Darcy wasn't moving anymore. Normally she would be wriggling around trying to get back up, but she was limp, like a ragdoll.

Tipping Darcy's head back, she opened her mouth, hoping that it would get some more air into her daughter's lungs.

"She's not moving anymore. She's still trying to breathe though," she reported to the operator.

_"Is she allergic to anything you know of?"_

"Not that I know of...but she's covered in rashes as well," Haven said anxiously, her voice shaking terribly.

"_The ambulance is only five minutes away, I need you to make sure your daughter can breathe. Are you able to perform CPR if she stops breathing?"_

"I think so," Haven replied, tears running down her face.

She couldn't lose Darcy. If she lost her sweet little girl, that would be the end of her. Darcy was all she had left of Connor, she was her whole world now.

Hearing the sirens at the end of the street brought the longest five minutes of her life to an end. Darcy was barely breathing, her lips blue and swollen, the hives on her skin looking even angrier than they had before.

The paramedics had come in as soon as Haven called out to say the door was open, and she had never been more relieved to see medical professionals in her life.

The entire time, it was a complete blur. She had watched through a haze of tears as they administered a shot of adrenaline, suspecting an allergic reaction was at play. A mask was being held over her face, trying to force oxygen into her little lungs.

It took a few moments, but Darcy eventually started to cry, a panicked, distressed cry that had Haven bursting into tears.

"You can pick her up," one of the medics said gently. "We're still going to have to take her in to be checked over, but the adrenaline has opened up her airway"

Taking her crying baby into her arms, Haven was beside herself with tears as she cuddled Darcy against her chest. Darcy continued to cry, distressed from her trauma, and the way that her heart was now racing due to the adrenaline.

The whole way to the hospital, Darcy had fussed and cried, but to Haven, her cry was her sign of life. As long as she was crying, she could breathe, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

As the door opened and her parents came rushing in, Haven immediately burst into tears.

"I thought she was going to die," she sobbed as she got up and walked into her mother's embrace. JJ held her close, kissing the top of her head and rubbing her back as Will walked over to the bed where Darcy was sleeping.

"What happened?" JJ asked in disbelief as Haven clutched at her for comfort.

"I fed her, and I put her down to play on her blanket while I finished my homework... she was right in front of me, and all of a sudden she just couldn't breathe. I was so scared," Haven stammered through her tears. "The doctor did a scratch test, and she's allergic to peanuts. I had peanuts in my lunch today... I could have killed her"

"It's not your fault, Haven," Will said immediately as Haven finally pulled away from JJ. "You didn't know she was allergic, and luckily, now we know and Darcy is going to be ok"

Darcy stirred, whining as her fist found its way to her mouth. She looked around with groggy eyes, before starting to cry.

"I think someone wants her mom," Will said with a smile.

With a watery smile, Haven walked over to the bed, lifting her baby up and holding her to her shoulder. Kissing Darcy's temple, she rubbed the baby's back, bouncing her slightly to soothe her as Will walked over to join JJ.

"Look at how good she is at being a mom," JJ said softly so only Will could hear. "Would you have expected this three months ago?"

"No," Will admitted truthfully. "But she's so much like her momma... how could she not be an amazing mom?"

Blushing slightly, JJ smiled, leaning into Will's side and resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm so proud of her"

Wrapping his arm around JJ, Will pressed a kiss to the top of his wife's head.

"Me too, cher. Me too"


	77. Chapter 77

**A/N: Apologies for the time jumps, I will admit there's going to be a few in this story; detailing every day of their lives will get repetitive, so I want to keep the story moving, otherwise it'll be 900 chapters long. Not that you guys would complain ;)**

**Also, some upcoming arcs that may make you hate me, oops.**

* * *

The weeks were passing by faster than Haven was able to keep up with. Some days, she felt like she barely had time to breathe. Senior year was proving to be a serious workload, and even Amber and Zack barely had time to spend together outside of school.

Darcy was fast approaching eight months old, and that also meant college acceptance letters were finding their way to prospective students across the country. Henry had moved into his new apartment with Lily in early February, and while almost two months had passed since then, the house still felt like someone was missing.

Haven had applied to multiple colleges, including the University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, Princeton, and Yale, as well as a few local colleges. Her mother's alma mater, Georgetown University, had come in as one of her top choices.

Sitting at the kitchen table early on a Saturday morning, Haven was falling asleep with her head resting in her hands. Darcy on the other hand, was sitting in the lounge room, happily whacking a hard plastic ball against one of her other toys repeatedly. The noise was driving Haven mad, but it was better than crying.

Feeling a sharp poke in her side, Haven jerked awake, turning to see her dad standing beside her with bleary eyes.

"Put her in the back yard, it's half past six," he mumbled, walking over to the coffee pot. He poured a cup of steaming coffee before reaching into the fridge for the milk.

"I tried. She just screamed," Haven yawned. "Dad, that's orange juice"

Will groaned, dumping the coffee he had just poured juice into down the drain. Giving up on a coffee, he walked through to the lounge room, scooping Darcy up off the floor. She immediately started to scream, but Will continued on to the couch, where he flopped down and put Darcy on his chest.

"Why don't we play with Pappy for a little while instead of waking up the whole neighbourhood?" he said quietly, tickling Darcy's belly. She sniffled, her lower lip sticking out as one last tear ran down her face. Will reached up, wiping away the tear, before tickling her again. She cracked a smile, showing off her few teeth that had pushed through in the last couple of months.

Smiling as she began playing with her pappy, Haven rubbed her eyes wearily and rose from the table. Darcy had been fussy the night before, and then had woken up at five crying because she was hungry. All in all, Haven hadn't had much sleep.

"It's fun, isn't it?" came her mother's voice from the doorway.

"Loads of fun. Ball of laughs. I'm so freaking tired," Haven groaned.

JJ chuckled. "I tried to warn you. It eases off and then they get really fussy again"

"Da. Da. DA!" Darcy exclaimed as Will now played peek-a-boo with her. She was laughing so hard that she almost toppled over, only for Will to catch her.

"Woah there pocket rocket," he laughed, propping her back up. "You are nuts, my princess"

"There's some mail here for you," JJ said softly, holding out a handful of envelopes. Haven reached out, taking them without a word.

Her eyes widened when she saw the logos of several colleges looking back at her.

Acceptance letters? Or rejections?

"You just have to open them and get it over with," JJ said gently, sitting down beside Haven. "You did amazingly on your SATs. You have to have been accepted to at least one school"

Taking a deep breath, Haven nodded, taking the first envelope, which bore the insignia of Princeton University. Tearing the slip open, she tipped it up and caught the letter which slid out. Her hands shook ever so slightly as she unfolded it, straightening it out and scanning it.

_Dear Haven,_

_Congratulations! The committee has reviewed your application, and we are pleased to offer you a place in our Class of 2037, commencing in September 2033._

"Oh my god!" Haven shrieked happily, passing the letter to her mother. JJ quickly read it, breaking into a wide smile.

"Haven!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her daughter. "Oh my girl, that's incredible!"

"What's that?" Will asked, getting up from the couch with Darcy on his hip.

"She's been accepted to Princeton!" JJ said excitedly, holding the letter out to Will as Haven grabbed the next one and opened it up.

Will beamed from ear to ear. "Look at you milagro! Accepted to an Ivy League!"

"Make that two," Haven replied, holding up the letter from the University of Pennsylvania with a grin on her face.

JJ squealed, throwing her arms around Haven as Will laughed and reached out to take the letter.

All in all, Haven scored a total of five acceptances and two rejections. Yale and Dartmouth had not accepted her, but seeing as she had managed to get accepted to Princeton and UPenn, as well as two small, local colleges, and Georgetown University, Haven wasn't too upset about it.

Tiredness forgotten, Haven was swelling with pride. So many people hadn't believed she would be able to do anything with her life, and here she was with two acceptances to Ivy League schools.

Things were improving rapidly.

* * *

Walking through the quiet hills with Darcy on her hip, Haven felt a sense of apprehension.

She was about to visit Connor's grave. The final resting place of her daughter's father, her first true love. And even though time had passed and she had come to terms with his death in the best way she could, thinking about it like that brought a sharp pang of pain into her heart.

Darcy babbled happily on her hip, pointing her chubby little fingers out at the birds fluttering nearby.

"Yeah, there's lots of birdies here, isn't there baby girl," Haven said, smiling as she pulled Darcy's jacket a little tighter.

Seeing the gravestone gleaming in the sunlight, Haven walked down the row towards it, the flowers she'd brought clutched in the hand underneath Darcy.

She stopped for a moment in front of the grave, her chest tightening as she read the words engraved in the marble.

_Connor James Hamilton_

_14 February 2015 – 17 August 2032_

'_To live in the hearts of those we love is not to die'_

Swallowing thickly, Haven sank into the grass, setting Darcy down in front of her to play.

"I wish you could see your daughter," she said softly, toying with the stems of the flowers. "She's so much like you... I just wish she was going to know you"

Darcy reached out, placing a hand on Haven's knee and looking up at her mom with a toothy grin. She had recently cut two bottom teeth and one on the top, and she happily showed them off at any chance she got.

"I miss you," Haven said tearfully as she lifted Darcy into her lap. "Every day. I'm ok, but it's hard. Knowing I might have been able to save you, that I might have been able to keep you here and get you the help you needed"

Somehow, Darcy could tell that what her mom needed was a cuddle, and so once she was settled in Haven's lap, she leant back against her, staying completely still as Haven wrapped her arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"Moving on is the hardest thing. I was in so much pain after you died that I couldn't even look at our baby girl. I self destructed... got myself raped and beaten by a meth addict... I know that's not my fault, nor yours... but it taught me that all I have in this world is those who I love, and I so very nearly gave up Darcy, and in turn, nearly gave up the greatest gift you ever gave me," she continued as the tears began to flow freely down her cheeks. "I'm always going to love you Connor. I'm always going to love everything about you, and cherish every moment we had together. I wish more than anything you were still here to make more, but someone up there decided it couldn't be that way"

Choking back a sob, Haven bowed her head down towards Darcy, trying to regain enough composure to speak just a little longer.

"I'm trying to move on, but I don't want to, because you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You gave me Darcy, and in turn, helped me grow up and see what's really important. I know you're always with us... promise me you'll never leave us"

Overwhelmed with tears, she reached out and placed the flowers gently against the base of the gravestone, before pulling Darcy right in for a cuddle. Darcy never fought it, tucking her head beneath Haven's chin and pressing a hand to her heart, which only tugged Haven's heartstrings even more.

People always said becoming a teenage mother was the hardest thing Haven would go through in her life. But Haven now knew they were wrong.

The hardest thing was heartbreak.


	78. Chapter 78

**A/N: Guess who gets to have an MRI tomorrow!**

* * *

"Do you know which one you're going to accept?"

Standing in line beside Amber as they waited to reach the register, Haven shrugged.

"No idea. I mean... I got accepted to Princeton and UPenn... that's not an everyday opportunity. But at the same time... I don't know if I'm ready to move away from home," she replied.

"Darcy?" Amber asked knowingly.

Haven nodded. "Without question, if I hadn't had Darcy, I would have no hesitation accepting one of the Ivy placements. But having her and going to college is going to be hard enough, I don't know if I'm ready to throw moving away from home into the mix. UPenn first years are required to live on campus, but it's hard to get housing that can accommodate a child as well"

"You'll figure it out. And hey, Georgetown might not be an Ivy, but it's a damn good school. Look at your mom," Amber said encouragingly before stepping up to the counter.

"I guess," Haven shrugged.

"Two mochas," Amber said to the cashier.

"One mocha," Haven corrected. "And a strawberry milkshake"

"Oh damn, I forgot," Amber laughed. "One mocha, and the milkshake"

Once their order was paid for, they stepped to the side to wait.

"I completely forgot you were still breastfeeding," Amber chuckled. "How long are you gonna keep going for?"

"As long as Darcy is willing to," Haven replied. "People underestimate how good it is for the baby, but also, seeing as I abandoned her for the first three months of her life, I feel like it's really helped us bond"

"You're not gonna be one of those weirdos who breastfeeds their seven year old, are you?" Amber asked seriously. Haven laughed.

"No, I promise I won't"

"Good, 'cause I'd have to disown you as a friend," Amber teased.

A few minutes later, their drinks were ready and they moved over to a table by the window.

"So how's things with you and Zack?" Haven asked as she sipped her smoothie.

"Really good," Amber said with a happy smile crossing her face. "But it's weird because I'm not used to settling for one person"

"You like to sleep with anything that moves," Haven laughed.

"Pretty much," Amber said with a grin. "But hey, the sex is awesome... and I don't know, it's nice to be treated like a princess sometimes. He's a real romantic, Zack is"

"I'm glad you're happy," Haven replied. "I think it's been too long since we've had a good dose of happy"

"Yeah," Amber nodded in agreement, sipping her mocha and staring thoughtfully out the window. "But I think it all happened for the best, you know? If you hadn't gotten pregnant... we'd probably still be partying, not caring so much about our grades... and look at us now. We're both focused on the future, accepted into good schools... it's all worked out"

Haven smiled. "You sound like Rossi"

Amber laughed. "I like the way Rossi thinks"

* * *

"Kisses for Pappy?" Will cooed as he picked Darcy up from the floor. Darcy giggled, leaning back as Will kissed her little cheeks with a stubbly face. "I think someone likes kisses before bedtime!"

"You are unbelievable," JJ laughed as she leant against the doorframe. "I can't believe you ever wanted nothing to do with Haven"

"How can you not love this face?" Will asked, turning Darcy towards her grandmother. "Besides, Pappy is the favourite"

"Not so fast," JJ chuckled. "I think that would be me"

"Does Mommy get a say in this?" came Haven's voice behind them. They turned, finding Haven standing behind them with a grin. Darcy bounced happily, reaching out as Haven approached her.

"That's right, Mommy's your favourite, you tell him," Haven cooed, taking Darcy into her arms as her parents laughed.

"We'll leave you to get her settled," Will said with a smile, brushing Haven's upper arm with a gentle touch before making his way over to the door, JJ just behind him.

"Mom, could you wait a second?" Haven called back as she settled into the chair beside Darcy's crib to feed her the last time before bed. JJ turned back, smiling as she pulled Haven's desk chair over to sit beside Haven.

"What's up?" she asked softly as Haven settled Darcy in her arms and slipped her shirt up so that Darcy could latch onto her breast.

"I've been thinking a lot about those college acceptances," Haven said quietly, patting Darcy's lower back lightly as she fed. "And I think I've decided where I'm going to go"

"Yeah?" JJ said, a look of surprise on her face. "That was quick"

Haven nodded. "My decision was already made for me... I'm going to accept the place at Georgetown"

JJ's heart swelled at the thought of her daughter attending the same university she had studied at. But immediately, she frowned.

"Haven... I don't want you to go to Georgetown if you think it's because I want you to," she said gently.

"No, that's not why," Haven replied. "I thought really hard about it even before the acceptance letters arrived. I'm really proud of the fact that I got accepted to the Ivy League colleges, because it means my hard work paid off and the schools noticed that. But going to Princeton or UPenn would mean moving away from home... and as much as I would love to study at either of those colleges, I know I'm not ready to move out yet. Of course, that doesn't mean I want to pass all of my responsibilities off onto other people since I'm living at home... I just... I feel like I have a handle on everything now. I can take care of Darcy on my own, but moving away for college I feel would throw a spanner in the works, because I don't realise it now, but you guys do a lot more for us than you say you do"

Staying silent, JJ looked thoughtfully at the two girls in the chair across from her.

"That doesn't mean I'm going to be here forever," Haven said with a smile. "I'll be out of your hair one day... I just don't think I'm ready for that challenge yet. I think it might do more harm than good"

JJ nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. "Honestly... I completely agree with you. Yes, your dad and I want you to be out in the world and completely independent, and college is normally where you learn how to do that. But, you have different circumstances, and you've been through a lot in the last two years. I think you're right in saying you're not ready to move out. One day, you will be, and it's ok if today isn't that day"

Haven smiled. "Part of me picked Georgetown because out of the three colleges left after eliminating the Ivy Leagues, it's the best school around"

"It is a brilliant school, and you're going to love it," JJ agreed.

Haven looked down at Darcy, who was starting to fall asleep, her little hand resting against Haven's collarbone.

"The other part of me picked Georgetown because what better school to go to than the alma mater of one of the most important people in the world to me," she said softly, looking back up at her mom with a smile. "If I could be even half the person you are... I'd be pretty happy with that"

JJ swallowed thickly, reaching out and placing a hand on Haven's knee. "Haven... you may not be the person you thought you would be two years ago... but you're about to turn eighteen, you're doing a brilliant job of raising your daughter, and you got accepted into five colleges, two of them Ivy League schools. I think you're pretty amazing all on your own for that alone"

Pulling her top down now that Darcy had fallen asleep, Haven placed her hand over her mother's.

"You mean it?"

JJ smiled, her eyes bright in the moonlight streaming through the crack in the curtains.

"Every word"


	79. Chapter 79

**A/N: It has been a shit week, BUT I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND! In two years.**

**Thank you to those who continuously read and review my stories. If you read and don't review, please don't be afraid to drop a line. I love hearing your feedback, and I like to interact with my readers (which I can't do if I don't know who you are!). It's been hard to find the motivation to write recently, a lot going on with university, work, and just personal stuff as well. Something went down today with someone else, someone who actually helped me flesh out Haven as a character so much, and coming back to write this chapter was really hard. It was a little painful, and it just didn't feel the same, but I did it, I overcame that hurdle. Time to jump the next one.**

**Love to you all. I hope your weeks and days are far more fun and beautiful than mine have been.**

* * *

The congestion in her chest was initially what had woken Haven up. With summer looming, the change in seasons had left both Darcy and Haven full of the horrible cold. Having not had the energy to make it up and down the stairs during the day, Haven had, with the help of her parents, dragged her mattress to the lounge room floor for the time being. The last two nights, she and Darcy had been co-sleeping, which made it easier for Haven to tend to Darcy during the night, and also allowed them to sleep off their illness during the day while still being close to everything they needed.

But as Haven forced her eyes open, something didn't feel right. She felt like she'd been asleep for too long... too long without being woken by her baby.

Looking to the right, Haven's heart leapt into her throat when she saw nothing but rumpled sheets beside her.

"Oh my god," she breathed, bolting upright and leaping off the mattress, trying not to fall over with how dizzy she felt.

"Darcy?" she called, silently praying that today was simply the day Darcy had finally figured out how to crawl. "Darcy!"

Staggering through the kitchen, she checked under the table, in the cupboards that Darcy had recently discovered were fun to try and climb into, and in the bottom of the pantry.

Her heart was pounding in her ears as she checked every nook and crevice of the ground floor; even if Darcy had learned to crawl, the baby gate prevented her from making it up the stairs. The back door was firmly dead bolted,

By the time she'd ascertained that Darcy was nowhere to be found, she wanted to break down in tears.

Where was her baby girl? How did an almost nine month old baby who, as far as Haven knew, couldn't crawl, just vanish into thin air?

Before she had time to panic, Haven had already grabbed her jacket, phone, and keys, racing towards the front door as she begged herself to remain calm and level headed.

She came to a sudden halt when she realised that the front door was already open, bouncing lightly off the frame in the morning breeze.

There was no way either of her parents would have left it open. That meant...

"Oh god," she choked, wrenching the door open and slamming it behind her as she made a beeline for the car. She had no idea how, but somehow she managed to buckle herself in and start the ignition. Seconds later, she had peeled out of the driveway.

* * *

"See you at the airfield in twenty," Hotch said as he passed the rest of the team on his way out to the parking lot.

Looking down as she zipped up her go bag, JJ brushed away the curtain of golden hair that naturally fell down beside her face, taking a deep breath as she mentally prepared herself for another case away. It was only the third time she had actually been away with the team since Darcy had joined their lives; she had mostly been running point with Garcia from the BAU, which allowed her more time at home, and so far, it had been a comfortable arrangement.

Straightening up, she slung her bag over her shoulder, laughing as Morgan threw some more good natured jibes her way. She had just grabbed her phone from the desk when she heard the doors to the bullpen fly open, followed by harried footsteps.

To say she was surprised to look up and see Haven running towards her was an understatement.

"Haven?"

"Mom, Darcy's gone!" Haven cried, practically skidding to a halt in front of her mom. Hotch had followed her back into the bullpen, clearly having passed her at the elevators.

"Gone, what do you mean gone?" JJ asked in disbelief, although her stomach had already filled with ice.

"She was gone when I woke up, I searched the whole house and couldn't find her, and the front door was open, I think someone took her, I didn't know what to do so I came straight here," Haven sobbed hysterically as JJ set her bag down and reached out to steady her daughter.

"Ok, ok," she said soothingly. "We're going to find her. I need you to breathe, my girl, I'm scared you're going to faint"

"Garcia, I need you to call the Sheriff's office in Jackson, tell them we've had unforeseen circumstances and will be unable to travel immediately to assist but we will work up a rough profile and fly out as soon as possible," Hotch instructed, setting his bag down on the nearest desk. "JJ, take Haven up to my office, I'll be up in a minute"

JJ nodded, putting an arm around her hysterical daughter's shoulders and leading her quietly away to the couch in Hotch's office.

"Morgan, Kate, go to JJ's and see what you can find. From what I remember, Darcy can't crawl yet, so it is most likely someone has taken her, but we need to prove that before we start investigating fully," Hotch said quietly. The two agents nodded, immediately turning and heading for the elevators.

"Reid, when Garcia's finished with the sheriff, get her to pull up backgrounds on anyone who's been in Haven's life in the last couple of years, we need to know about anyone who might have a motive to take Darcy," Hotch instructed. Reid nodded, heading off to find Garcia as Hotch ascended the stairs to his office.

"I know it's hard, but you need to stay as calm as you can," JJ was saying softly as he opened the door.

"Haven, I need you to try and recall as much as you can for me," Hotch said gently as he closed the door and pulled a chair over to sit opposite Haven. "You said you think someone took her... why do you think that?"

"She can't crawl," Haven choked out. "I searched the entire ground floor and couldn't find her anywhere, and she was right next to me. The door was open when I went to leave, and I know Mom was last to leave this morning and she always triple checks the locks on the door. We were locked in, but the door was open... someone had to have come in and taken her away"

Hotch nodded understandingly. "When you've had a chance to calm down, I'm going to get Reid to do a cognitive interview with you. Even though you were asleep, you may have noticed something subconsciously"

Haven nodded, tears flowing down her cheeks as she buried her face in her hands.

"We'll find her," JJ said softly, her own voice catching in her throat. "We will"

Haven could only pray her mom was right.


	80. Chapter 80

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long. I've also lost track of the story, trying to squeeze so much in!**

* * *

No matter what Adam did, the baby wouldn't stop crying.

As the crocodile tears rolled relentlessly down her cheeks, he paced the room in frustration, pulling at his own hair as he tried to block out the screaming infant.

"Shut up, SHUT UP!" he yelled, throwing his hands down either side of the baby and looking menacingly into her little face. She continued to scream, clearly afraid and only wanting her mom.

He hadn't thought this through. He'd planned as far as taking her, but what he was supposed to do with her afterwards...he'd never really thought about that.

"Mama," Darcy babbled in between her breathy cries. It was a habit she'd started six weeks earlier, and to reinforce the idea that 'mama' meant Mom, Haven had been responding to her every time she did it. And now, Darcy wanted her mom.

But mom wasn't coming.

"Your mama isn't here," Adam sneered mockingly at the tiny human sitting on his bed. "You know what your mama is? She's a fucking bitch. And she's not coming to get you, because if she does, I'll fucking kill her like I should have done when she left"

With a crash, his bedroom door flew open, revealing his father, Louis, standing on the other side, his face contorted in rage.

"Why the fuck have you got a baby in here?!" Louis bellowed, grabbing the front of Adam's shirt and hurling him against the wall. Darcy continued to scream

"I...I," Adam stammered, unable to find an explanation.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Louis spat.

"I'll take her back," Adam said quickly, his intimidating nature gone as he cowered in fear in front of his father.

"Like hell you will! You take her back and they'll call the cops on you, and if I end up with cops on my doorstep, you'll fucking wish you'd never been born boy," Louis growled, shaking Adam roughly before letting him go. Whirling around, he grabbed the screaming baby from the bed and stormed out of the room.

"Where are you taking her?" Adam yelled, leaping into action after his father.

"To sort out _your_ mess!" Louis growled, wrenching open the door to the basement. Adam stood dumbstruck in the hallway, fear suddenly filling his body for the first time as he watched his father carry the terrified baby girl down into the depths of the house.

* * *

The cognitive interview hadn't unearthed much more from Haven's memory. The creak of the door and a faint cry from Darcy had been all that Haven had managed to remember.

Only when Haven fell asleep from exhaustion on the couch in Hotch's office did JJ allow herself to cry.

Things were just starting to get better for them. Normality had been just over the horizon. And now sweet little Darcy was gone.

JJ knew that the team wouldn't rest until they had Darcy back in Haven's arms, but ice cold dread filled her stomach like nothing before. Her beautiful granddaughter, taken by some malicious intent... what if Darcy never came home to them?

She buried her face in her hands and sobbed quietly, not wanting to wake Haven. Her body shook with the effort of keeping quiet, but her girl had to rest.

She was so caught up in the throes of her emotion that she didn't hear the door open and someone enter the room.

A pair of feet appeared in her view, clouded by tears. Then the person kneeled and gently tucked her hair away from her face.

"It's gonna be ok," came Will's gentle voice. "We don't know what's gonna happen but we have to believe it's going to be good"

Tears came like a flood as JJ collapsed into her husband's arms and buried her face in his shoulder.

She hated feeling so needy. She was normally so strong.

But everything that had happened since Haven had gotten pregnant had whittled her emotional barriers down.

It was ok to cry when things weren't good. It was ok to admit defeat against her own walls and crumble from time to time.

It was horrible to even think that they might never see Darcy again.

And that was why JJ convinced herself she couldn't think like that. They would see Darcy again.

Her team was too good to think otherwise.

* * *

Chest heaving, he stood in the centre of the darkened room, the only sound other than his breaths the mumbled cries of the baby on the table.

Letting go of the crowbar in his hand, he barely flinched as it hit the floor with a clang, the blood glinting off it even in the dim light.

His father lay motionless on the floor before him, his face blooded and beaten. Blood spilled from a deep wound in his head.

Adam didn't allow himself to wonder if he had just killed his own father. He only allowed himself to think of the reason it had had to be done.

Stepping over the body on the floor, he scooped Darcy up off the table and held her close to his chest as he hastened up the stairs and out of the basement.

"I'll put it right, I promise. I shouldn't have taken you," he said softly as he reached the upper floor and headed into the kitchen in search of his keys. He spotted them immediately on the table, grabbing them with his free hand and racing out to the driveway before his mother could wake up and realise something was wrong.

He had to put this right.

* * *

"We've put out an amber alert for Darcy, and I've got Rossi and Tara going over everything they can find at your house," Hotch said gently as he sat down in front of the three LaMontagnes huddled together on his couch. "Haven... what connection do you have to a man named Adam?"

Haven's stomach dropped.

"He... he was the one I ran off with... just after Darcy was born," she choked out, her hands beginning to shake. "Do you think... do you think he took Darcy?"

"From what we've heard from your mom... he has the most motivation to have done so," Hotch said gently.

Haven crumbled, the tears falling once again as her knees went weak. JJ wrapped her arms around her to keep her steady.

"We'll find out what happened Haven, I promise," Hotch added. "If he took her, we'll get him for it"

Unable to speak, Haven could only nod as she clutched at her mother for support. All she wanted was her daughter back in her arms.

* * *

Darcy had finally fallen asleep in the old battered car seat Adam had dragged from the depths of his garage.

His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white as he raced towards Haven's house.

So focused was he on the final destination that he didn't think to focus on what was going on in the world around him.

As he sped through an intersection, the last thing he registered was the unmistakeable warning sound of a truck horn, before the world around him turned black to a symphony of crunching metal and shattered glass.


	81. Chapter 81

**A/N: I know this was long awaited, sorry!**

* * *

Haven's pace was frantic as she walked back and forth along the bullpen walkway. She had given up trying to be calm; her baby was gone and all she wanted was to have her back in her arms. Tears had long since forsaken her, and now all she could do was try to remind herself to breathe... which was harder than it sounded.

"Haven, try to relax-" JJ said softly as she perched herself on the edge of her desk.

"Don't tell me to relax!" Haven snapped, whipping around to face her mother. JJ had a sudden flashback to the night Haven had run off for the first time; the anger and defiance in her face rung back to that evening.

"You're not doin' yourself any favours by getting all worked up darlin'," Will cut in gently.

"I don't care," Haven cried, her voice cracking as she spoke. "My daughter is gone, we can only hope that Uncle Aaron is right about Adam taking her, and I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't get her back"

Will stood helpless as Haven sank into Morgan's desk chair and buried her face in her hands. He was still for a moment, before he knelt down in front of his baby girl, taking her hands in his and gently tugging them away from her face.

"We'll get her back," he whispered, half a smile on his face. "You gotta keep telling yourself that until the cows come home"

"What if we don't?" Haven breathed, the fear radiating off every inch of her body.

"We will," Will reiterated, squeezing Haven's hands. "I'm telling you, it's going to be alright"

Leaning forward, Haven wrapped her arms around her father's neck, sinking down from the chair into his lap and holding on dearly for the hug she so badly needed. Will kissed her temple, holding her close to offer the comfort she was longing for.

They'd been sitting there for just a few minutes when the bullpen doors burst open, startling JJ back to her feet as Will turned his head to see Reid racing into the space. His face was bright and ecstatic, and the words that were to come out of his mouth would soon render the same effect on the three worried LaMontagnes.

"They found her!"

* * *

Haven's feet couldn't carry her fast enough down the hospital hallways. Her heart was pounding in her ears, even louder than the sound of her footsteps on the linoleum floor, even louder than her mother's behind her.

As she rounded the corner, she could see Hotch standing outside a sliding glass door talking to Morgan.

And in the room, cradled in Tara's arms as she cried, was her precious baby girl.

Without so much as a word to the two men outside the door, Haven barrelled into the room, the tears of relief already tracking down her face as Tara immediately lifted the crying infant into her arms.

"She's fine, just a few bumps and bruises, but she just wants her mom," Tara said gently, giving Haven a gentle squeeze as JJ finally caught up to them.

"Hi baby girl," Haven said tearfully, cuddling Darcy against her chest as she continued to wail, clearly distressed from her short yet terrifying ordeal. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

Flooded with relief to see Darcy safely in Haven's arms, JJ looked weakly to Tara for the full explanation. She didn't even have to ask; Tara knew straight away what JJ wanted to know.

"It was Adam," she started softly, ushering JJ out into the hallway so they could speak without interrupting Haven. "He was trying to bring Darcy back to the house when he lost control of his car and rolled it across an intersection. Darcy was thrown from the car... no-one can quite figure out how she made it out without a scratch"

JJ took a deep breath, looking over towards Haven, who was now gently rocking Darcy from side to side to soothe her.

"Thank god she's alright," she whispered, realising for the first time just how scared she had been.

"Hotch said Adam will face kidnapping and murder charges... when we went to the house, we found his dad dead in the basement. He admitted everything. He won't be able to hurt Haven or Darcy again," Tara said, placing a hand on JJ's shoulder and giving her a comforting smile. JJ managed one back, her hand wrapping around Tara's wrist momentarily before she pulled away and walked into the room to join Haven. She glanced at her phone as she did.

Midnight.

"Hey," she said softly, wrapping her arms around Haven from behind as Will joined them in the room. Darcy whimpered softly, her heavy little eyes falling closed as she finally realised she was safe in the comfort of her mother's arms.

"Happy birthday," JJ whispered in Haven's ear, smiling as she did. Haven turned, a smile crossing her face for the first time as she locked eyes with her mom. Will stepped up, his arm sliding around JJ's waist as he leant forward and pressed a kiss to his daughter's forehead.

In all the drama and worry, it had completely slipped their minds that Haven's eighteenth birthday was the very next day.

And surely, there was nothing better for Haven on her eighteenth than to have her baby girl back safely in her arms.


	82. Chapter 82

**A/N: Forewarning that time will jump forward after this chapter. Sorry to keep you waiting so long!**

* * *

"Ladies and gentleman, the Thomas Jefferson High School graduating class of 2033!"

A raucous cheer filled the air as together, the teenagers who were now free of high school threw their graduation caps high up into the sky.

Looking up as the caps floated back down towards them, Haven couldn't help but shed a few tears as she turned and embraced Amber in a tight hug. Her tears were mostly of joy, but a little sadness had crept into her heart as well. They'd made it through high school… _she'd_ made it through high school… but they'd lost Connor along the way.

Haven herself had made a moving speech, speaking of the level of confidence all her adversity had given her, about reaping the rewards of working hard, and never forgetting those who had been lost along the journey. She had caught a glimpse of her aunts wiping away tears as she spoke and had had to make a mental note not to look over towards her mom.

"We did it girl," Amber whispered, clutching her best friend tightly.

"We did it," Haven echoed, wiping her eyes as she pulled back, smiling through her tears at her friend.

The ceremony proceedings were over and the graduates began to filter away from the formal seating area to find their parents. When Haven found hers, she could see that her mom had been crying, clearly filled with pride that her daughter who had been through so much had achieved one of her biggest goals.

"So proud of you sweetheart," Will said, hugging Haven tightly once she'd reached them. He pressed a kiss to her temple before she pulled away, watching as she turned to her mom and took Darcy into her arms.

"You made me cry milagro. I'm so proud of you," JJ said, her voice catching ever so slightly in her throat. "You've proved everyone wrong who thought that having a baby would ruin your life"

"Darcy's been my motivation this whole time," Haven said with a smile, tickling Darcy's belly. The baby giggled, flopping over so her head was tucked beneath Haven's chin.

"How about we go and get something to eat?" Morgan suggested, draping an arm around Savannah's shoulders as he smiled at his niece. "Unless of course, you had other plans"

Haven shook her head as Amber and her mom walked over to join them. "I'd rather just be with you guys and Ambs"

JJ beamed, her heart swelling.

"Great. Let's find somewhere to eat"

* * *

"Quite honestly, Haven, a year ago today, your dad and I didn't think you were going to graduate high school"

Their table was quiet, all looking towards JJ as she stood before them all, a soft smile lighting up her features.

"Everything was completely up in the air with a baby on the way, and we didn't know what was going to happen when she arrived. Of course, we never believed you couldn't graduate... we just knew it was going to take a lot of hard work," JJ said gently. "But here we are. You've achieved one of your goals and made the first step into your future, and we are all so incredibly proud of you milagro. _I'm_ proud of you, for everything you've overcome to be here today. Don't you ever forget that"

"To Haven," Will said, lifting his glass.

"To Haven," the others echoed, raising their glasses and taking a sip as JJ wrapped an arm around her daughter and hugged her tight.

"I really am so proud of you, my beautiful girl. There's big things coming your way," she said softly amongst the chatter beginning to rise once more from the table.

Saying nothing, Haven could only smile as she leant her head against her mother's shoulder.

The end of one chapter, the beginning of the next.

Haven couldn't wait to turn the page and find out what the future held.


End file.
